Knocked Up (2007)
1/10
Horrible piece of drivel
7 November 2007
Warning: Spoilers
CONTAINS SPOILERS THROUGHOUT

When I rented this movie, I expected a great comedy-all of the reviews I read gave it four stars. Well, imagine my surprise to find that this was one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. We, as viewers with half a brain, are supposed to be convinced that a beautiful, successful girl would schtoop a fat, nerdy, slacker and then wind up keeping his "love child" and pursue a relationship with him, all for the sake of the baby. Now that's a laugh.

How schizophrenic was this movie when the word "abortion" couldn't be used, but "boobs and bush" are the catchphrase of the film, not to mention the oodles of drug scenes and references to drug use throughout? Don't get me started on Alison-was she so lonely and desperate that she had to keep Ben around-and hang out with his weirdo, freaked out stoner friends? What was with the lame storyline with his friend growing his hair and his beard, just to be subjected to the jokes about Middle Eastern terrorists? It was a one-note joke that lasted until the movie! Besides Ben, she did not have a single friend in the whole film, unless you count her vapid, bitchy sister who doesn't deserve to have the great husband and beautiful children she has. So her husband plays fantasy baseball! It's better than listening to her whine and bully him every second they are together. Her voice was so annoying, it made me want to put my head in the oven and turn the gas on high! It was anti-feminist (if a young woman on the fast track in a dream career living with her sister in a cottage on their estate can't raise a baby by herself, who can? Why choose to keep the baby at all? It's not like it would be her last chance!), misogynistic (what in the world was the deal with all of the breasts and vagina jokes-not to mention that we got treated to someone's whoozywhatsis pushing out a "baby's head"), and had no likable characters. Alison was annoying and needy, Ben was socially retarded and completely incapable of acting like a normal person until he lost Alison, his friends were repulsive, Debbie was mean and self-centered-what was that stupid freakout scene with the doorman all about? Talk about living in a fantasy world! Pete was a dork who should have thought that Debbie did him a favor when she kicked him out of the house for (gasp-having a hobby all of his own, that didn't involve her whiny self) and he had absolutely no self respect by crawling back to her and allowing her to emasculate him completely. Even the shopping around for OB/GYNs was ridiculous and completely unfunny. The awkward sex between Ben and Alison, was the icing on the crap-cake. How many times did he say he didn't want the baby to get hit in the face with his Johnson? Aye carrumba!!! Must we be subjected to hear him explain to Alison the true meaning of the phrase "Doggy style?" Blech! This movie was a horrible piece of drivel, and it's a sorry state of affairs when critics say it's one of the funniest films of the year.

It gets one out of ten stars, and when I say that I am being generous.
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