Why would I sit down to watch a movie with the unlikely title "Soda Cracker"? Because the description said it was about a Chicago cop, and I'm a sucker for movies with Chicago scenery (having moved away from there many years ago). The first few minutes were rewarding, with lots of downtown shots (a few rather poorly framed, I'll admit). Then the list of clichés begin.
Cool hip black cop...scruffy white partner with whiny wife: "You don't spend enough time with the kid." "OK, I promise to come home early." So of course you know who gets blown away, right? Black cop vows revenge on the assumed killer. Grumpy old boss cop (one of the worst acting jobs in the film) of course says, "You're off the case! Case closed! Don't touch the case!" So of course we know what Soda will do.
More clichés: Cool sexy new partner. Cops on the take. A sexy night club singer (who actually sings an ENTIRE LONG song...probably Phyllis Hyman's exchange for acting in this dud). A ripoff of THE DEAD POOL, but with a toy helicopter instead of a toy car. Cop widow vowing to keep her kid away from cops. AARGH! Will it never stop?
There are even DIRECTORIAL clichés, like after the interminable gun battle at the end. Gunplay stops, everyone looks dead. So we get "quiet scenery" shots of the farm where the battle took place. You know, the usual thing. But they go on and on...five shots, six shots, seven shots...haven't we seen the whole freakin' farm by this time? Then the gunfight starts up again.
The music score is a load of 80s synth-score clichés with blips and blurps and drum machines. But to wrap it up, we have the worst closing theme song of all time, with these classic lyrics: "Chicago cop, Chicago's finest. They call him Soda Cracker, but that's just a nickname." Wow, wonder how long they worked on THOSE lyrics! This is the kind of film you should watch when you're having some goofy friends over for a party. See who can guess the line before the characters say it, or predict the next plot twist. Worth watching only because it is the epitome of everything that can be done wrong in a cop film.
Cool hip black cop...scruffy white partner with whiny wife: "You don't spend enough time with the kid." "OK, I promise to come home early." So of course you know who gets blown away, right? Black cop vows revenge on the assumed killer. Grumpy old boss cop (one of the worst acting jobs in the film) of course says, "You're off the case! Case closed! Don't touch the case!" So of course we know what Soda will do.
More clichés: Cool sexy new partner. Cops on the take. A sexy night club singer (who actually sings an ENTIRE LONG song...probably Phyllis Hyman's exchange for acting in this dud). A ripoff of THE DEAD POOL, but with a toy helicopter instead of a toy car. Cop widow vowing to keep her kid away from cops. AARGH! Will it never stop?
There are even DIRECTORIAL clichés, like after the interminable gun battle at the end. Gunplay stops, everyone looks dead. So we get "quiet scenery" shots of the farm where the battle took place. You know, the usual thing. But they go on and on...five shots, six shots, seven shots...haven't we seen the whole freakin' farm by this time? Then the gunfight starts up again.
The music score is a load of 80s synth-score clichés with blips and blurps and drum machines. But to wrap it up, we have the worst closing theme song of all time, with these classic lyrics: "Chicago cop, Chicago's finest. They call him Soda Cracker, but that's just a nickname." Wow, wonder how long they worked on THOSE lyrics! This is the kind of film you should watch when you're having some goofy friends over for a party. See who can guess the line before the characters say it, or predict the next plot twist. Worth watching only because it is the epitome of everything that can be done wrong in a cop film.