Happy Feet (2006)
1/10
most bizarre children's movie I've ever seen
23 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I gave this movie a 2 because it was interesting to look at; one of the most spectacular CGI films I've ever seen. That was worth about 5 minutes of my time. The rest of the film was a complete waste.

This was the most poorly put-together children's feature-film I've seen in a long time. I saw the previews for this a long time ago and was excited to take my young daughter to it because she loves animals and movies. We were sorely disappointed.

A lot of very small children were at this movie because the previews make it look like a cuddly Ice Age-style movie that's funny and heart-warming. BEWARE! There are a lot of adult nuances and inappropriate jokes in this movie. Basically all the penguins think about is scoring another penguin with a groovy "heartsong" and they talk about it A LOT. The killer whales and leopard seals are pretty scary. This is not a kid-friendly movie.

The majority of this movie is nothing more than a "Look what we can do with our new software!" showcase. Penguins dance, sing and swim in formation. Different animals fly, waddle or swim around convincingly. Glaciers break off, cause avalanches and exciting falling/chasing scenes. At first it's awesome to look at but after a while the awe wears off and you start to wonder where the story is.

The characters are nothing short of inane. The "Elvis and Marylin Monroe" parents, the old- fashioned Scottish leader of the big penguins, the Latino party penguins and Lovelace, the televangelist-style leader of the smaller party penguins. So many characters were introduced but none of them had a very well-developed personality or storyline.

After an hour or so of showing off the technology and letting Robin Williamns have as many characters and funny lines as he can reasonably fit into 87 minutes, the story shifts gears and lurches to a conclusion. At this point 6 or 7 children all around us were asking their parents if it was time to go home. This must have happened in test audiences too because the director makes an obvious decision to quit showing off and just hurry up and end the movie. Seriously, the entire adventure, journey to save penguin-kind, reversal of the human problem and miraculous acceptance of Mumble by his friends and co-penguins is crammed into about 20 minutes. Mumble travels from his home, to some big city and back in the space almost instantly; just appearing in one location or another (confusing to say the least). Humans change their minds and stop fishing and the famine is averted..... whew! That was a lot of story to pack into just a few minutes! Finally the action then comes to a shuddering halt and all you're left with is the feeling of "that's it?"

So many stereotypes and morale-of-the-story points were introduced but none of them were very satisfactorily resolved or dealt with. Mumble is never truly accepted by his peers and he waffles back and forth between changing to fit in and just going with whatever he feels like. His mom half-heartedly stands up for him and his dad wavers between guilt and denial. And what's with "dropping the egg"? Mumble was dropped as an egg so now he's a weirdo who can't sing? What was that all about? Different tribes of penguins and different animals misunderstand and dislike each other but.... it's never really resolved. Humans are littering and stealing the fish but the answer is for all of them to tap-dance together?

The thing that disappointed me the most was the complete lack of emotional involvement in any of the characters or story lines. The penguins are close-minded and brainwashed; they dislike Mumble not only because he can't sing but because he's curious and seeks knowledge. Sure the point of the movie is to save all the penguins but you as the viewer don't actually care about them; there is no sympathy for them at all. Mumble saves the world and gets the girl and yet there's no emotional satisfaction; no feeling of fulfillment.

A great movie makes you feel for the characters, gives you something to think about and leaves you with a smile on your face. This movie did none of those things.
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