Review of Locusts

Locusts (2005 TV Movie)
1/10
Lame on a good day with a tail wind
24 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Possible spoilers due to references to other literature…assuming you can't guess the ending within the first few minutes.

OK folks, I have a dirty little secret: I really love crummy sci-fi picks. Bad acting, scripts, cheap effects and breaking the laws of physics just make my day. Plan 9 from Outer Space holds a special place in my heart.

While Locusts passed the test on each of these, it will probably (or should) be quickly forgotten, being more schlock than entertainment. Also, as somebody else mentioned, the bug close-ups are actually pretty good, so Locust kinda loses a few points in the cheesy effects category. The cliché alarm rings constantly, from the mandatory troubled romance to the divorced father with the cranky kids to the gruff military general who allows a civilian to boss him around to the national politics to the job climbers to the…you get the picture.

Important things of note:

The brilliant lead scientist sometimes wears hip huggers, a low cut top and no bra, and is photographed from above. I guess they had to do **something** to keep male viewers watching. Hello women: tell me, was there anything to keep you interested in this piece of garbage?

A huge group of 20-somethings stand around watching bazillions of bugs up close as they cover the windows, yet none shriek, barf, or any of the other normal expected reactions.

If you have a basic knowledge of electricity (i.e. current only flows in a complete circuit), you will have problems with this flick. Forget it if you understand high voltage, current capacities, grounding, welding, and arcing.

The movie wraps everything up in the last 15 minutes. I won't say what happens, but if the "feel good" parts of the ending don't make you toss your popcorn, you're one tough viewer.

There's a genetic reference at the end that made no sense whatsoever, but I'm not a bio major.

There is a remarkable parallel to Carl Stephenson's classic short story "Leiningen versus the Ants." This is great literature (for real); if you haven't read it, spend 10 minutes at http://mbhs.bergtraum.k12.ny.us/cybereng/shorts/lvta.html. It's top notch.

There is a remarkable parallel to one of my favorite crummy Sci-Fi movies "Night of the Lepus." Check out the IMDb reviews of this beauty.

This movie was a total waste of time on all levels.

1 Star
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