This movie has a completely absurd plot and features characters that are completely one-dimensional and not even remotely believable. If this was a comedy, that might not be a problem. Sadly, this movie just seems to take itself too seriously to come across as a parody. As a drama, it's about as well done as an Ed Wood feature, and as a comedy it just isn't funny; even the most unbelievable moments are presented dramatically and not comedically. The acting is god-awful; Christina Ricci's performance is like something you'd expect from someone performing at a small high school that had barely enough interested people to put on the show at all. I can't imagine any way of interpreting this movie as anything but a horrible failure that deserves to be confined to the dumpster of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fodder. I don't know if I could make a better movie, but I'd be hard pressed to make a worse one.
