1/10
This film is so bad you will not know which way to look.
20 December 2003
I can only presume that you came to discover the existence of this truly awful film due to your curiosity of Matt Le Blancs film career or, as I did, it popped up, uninvited, in front of you on cable. I cannot believe that AQM realy got a general cinema release.

AQM is set during World War 2 and is the story of how an American officer, Le Blanc, and a troop of transvestite British soldiers set out to recover an Enigma machine from an all female staffed German factory. That's as much as anyone needs to know about the absurd plot. Everything about this production stinks. Imagine, if you can, coming across the bloody remains of a particularly bloody road kill, the body parts of which are strewn hither and yon. You start to reassemble the beast and what emerges bears no resemblance to anything you've seen before.

The story is predicated upon such a preposterous notion that it is difficult to bring to mind any director adept enough to suspend our disbelief long enough for the humour, what there is of it, to come through;perhaps a Woody Allen of thirty years ago. Le Blanc is hopelessly miscast; slapstick is a forte that few contemporary actors possess and were he so gifted he wouldn't have saved this film anyway. Other featured actors are the noted transvestite comedian Eddie Izzard, who's acting skills and presence haven't improved since the equally awful 'Avengers' and Edward Fox playing guess what? Thats right, a Blimpish army officer.Both actors play their parts absolutely to type. No one was helped by a dire David Schneider screenplay. To British viewers Schneider is more recognisable for his acting stints in Steve Coogans 'Alan Partridge' series and Armando Iannuci's 'Saturday Night Armistice'. Schneider can at least console himself for having not concocting the storyline.

AQM never settles upon knowing what sort of animal it wants to be. It has, about it, shades of Jerry Lewis' 1970 gem 'Which Way to the Front Mein Herr General'. It also has its occasional 'Carry On' moments, yet, still, the bawdy pen of Talbot Rothwell would not have saved this effort. Scenes lurch from the comic set ups to a tearful husband and wife the night before he is to go of into combat. Bathetic in the extreme. Even the grading of the film stock conspires to make this film look cheap. So,if you realy do like to prod road kills with a stick, this film is for you. Otherwise leave well alone, its a stinker.
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