Change Your Image
jaredkeahey
Reviews
The Gentlemen (2024)
Daniel Ings as Freddy Horniman
There is so much magic and insane amazingness in this show. There are so many high points and moments and feelings, but I really want to home in on Daniel Ings. What a character LOL! What a portrayal!! Recognized his face instantly from the first season of The Crown. He was strong in his supporting role, but this is something else entirely!! His commitment to... Whatever we can call Freddy lol... is brilliant. He nails this ridiculous idiot and drives home the insane, coked out, jealous brother perfectly. From head to toe, eyes to nose, he looks SO strung out and really adds to this absolutely moronic, yet amazing character. It's a full package level of commitment to a character that really elevates an already amazing show. The shot of him on the 4wheeler, on the hunt, vape in mouth, eyes blood shot, chicken suit intact... LOL. Unreal shot. To anyone who likes crime comedies and ridiculous stuff that works, watch this show. And enjoy the hell out of the annoying, yet brilliant, Freddy Horniman xD.
Wil (2023)
Unbelievably poor. Shockingly bad.
Scenes don't understand human emotion ever. Our protagist looks and acts guilty but has immortal plot armor. There must be 40 seperate times he is being interigated and everytime I still see a forced face "please dont know its me." The forced emotional sequences that had no build up, purpose, or distract from the narrative are horrid. There are 21 supporting actors with private motives and monologs. The movie uses Nazi violence to set important tones, but then becomes a history lesson in torture methods. This film pretends to have like 5 main plots... while trying to be a character and idealogical study. Its impossible to blame the cast for such clunky scenes. The editing is a nightmare. This movie needed far more focus and far less scenes with far less characters. You see book plot holes happening and on screen it only looks worse because it's very real. The amount of misinformation about this time and country is also, as usual, typical of any WW2 movie these days. The romance is forced and fails. The friendships are totally weird and off, but I'm not from Belgium? Lastly, it's very, very boring. We get an AMAZING opening plot and sequence of events and we end up leaving it all for long scenes of pointless characters, in pointless scenes, saying nothing that matters. This movie, while beautiful to the eyes, it quite unimaginably bad. Very, very bad. Thanks for reading! Lastly... the knife jump to kill the random bad guy who wanted a son? Tell me you didn't laugh. I didn't know Mother's could fly like bats across a room... Cool movie.
1670 (2023)
Absolute Treasure!
Brilliant... One of the greatest TV comedies of late by a mile.
Cinematography, directing, and camera work are ASTOUNDING. When you see this level of care and commitment in a historical comedy piece, you really fall in the love with the entire project. So much care and thought went into this show. It is beautiful beyond words and really transports you to the time. So much of the comedy cannot land without such incredible immersion, which they nailed.
The cast is SO fresh and so lively. There is so, so much talent and the most amazing script and scenes to go with it. This is very witty humor and it really takes an intelligent cast to nail it. So much of the comedy comes together with brilliant bait and camera work too- huge tip of the cap. Cannot speak enough to how brilliant the cast and the team came together on 1670. The comedy is pure gold, never ending, and is all guided by some of the best directing and camera work any film has to offer!!!
10/10. Please, please, please bring us Season 2 Netflix. Huge thanks to everyone involved in 1670. Thank you, thank you!
World War II: From the Frontlines (2023)
WW2 Cliffs Notes
This is a very weak WW2 documentary. The conflict is far, far to vast to be presented in the manner and time you are given. It is an actual tragedy how much incredible information, most of which is considered basic WW2 knowledge, is absent entirely. Much less the amazing other details from so many areas of the conflict. If you are new to the conflict and are looking to gain deeper insight into the why? And the events... Look elsewhere than this documentary. It is almost shameful at times what they touch on or don't touch on at all.
Big shout out to the editing and remastering. HUGE shout out to the incredible human beings who were interviewed. The interviews are easily the highlight of this very watered down historical perspective.
I am really left wondering, Why? Why go through all the trouble to find and remaster the footage... for a 4th grade Intro to WW2 video. Context, data, perspective, insight... all missing. =(
The Killer (2023)
Extremely poor film.
Good God I feel like I could write for hours about this horror.
Huge plot holes in this movie. I can only touch on the first act or I will lose my week. Why did they not just kill his girl? Why didn't they camp out his house when he returned home? Why ... sexually and physically assault an assassins lover, leave a trail of evidence, and create the most obvious drama point and motive for a movies plot to move forward? This is dumbest idea ever and made absolutely no sense based on the "realism" of the assassin world we are given. They would kill her. They would kill him. He runs into a bloody open house with music playing, zero knowledge of what threats could be awaiting him... Really looks like a world class assassin assessing threats and insuring total survivability. There are 100,000 ways he should have and could have died in that scene.
And who is this girl? Why should I care about a sociopaths girl toy? What was her name? Who was her brother? Who cares I guess.
This is what it takes. Don't think. Consume. Watch. Don't think. Breath. KEKW.
God I can't lose my day with this so I will touch on one last thing that the bulk of viewers also asked... "Why?" What is the point of this movie. The dialogue is so flat and has no cut. We are given minimal insight into the characters and thus, no insight into ourselves. There is almost no suspense, which is very bad given the intensity meant for many scenes. The film, in a very, very poor attempt, tries to connect us to an empty story and a character that is supposed to be "Just like us" or could be, for that matter.
This movie reminds me SO much of "The Counselor." How did MF, such a talent, land in such a dumb movie again?! He is brilliant and usually picks hard winners. Nothing comes together here though and there is absolutely nothing of value that comes from this viewership experience. It's a flat line movie that had A LOT of potential in the early stages.
This is a very bad film and not worth your time or money. Thank you for reading!!! <3.
Oppenheimer (2023)
Walked out into 110 degree heat to walk home. It's that bad.
If you had told me Nolan would ever, ever had made a film so boring, disconnected, scattered, and pointless that I would walk out of a theater for the first time in 19 years, leave my friends, and brave the Texas heat to get home... No chance... Right?
Yet here we are. Leaving theaters in Texas heat because that is literally better than this movie. Words can and will describe how high the pyramid of bad and boring goes up in this film. There is no foundation. There is not setup. Scenes and editing are a disaster. You are slingshot around to oceans of random ideas, characters, and scenes that never, ever apply a foundation. The story has no flow and neither to countless other ideas or situations that Nolan tries to explore. It is an overbearing nightmare of why? It is shocking to me how little focus a film had to deliver ANY form of emotion, thrill, or excitement from any scene. The biggest heart pound I got was when you are literally sound bombed with atomic explosions at random, quite, dramatic scenes... Felt like I was playing with a Jack in the Box while trying very hard to grasp how bad the movie was... Didn't help.
The amount of different scenes in just the first hour is dizzying, especially when you literally have no idea what the movie is even trying to tell you. It felt like Oppy was the main character, but you are literally put into a warp drive of random scenes that don't add up in anyway to something that can be understood. Then, the rush continues to tell a very interesting story in the most boring and elaborate way possible. Baffling. Like trying to understand oceans of movie clips thrown out onto a table like puzzle pieces all at once. I am shocked this film didn't have reshoots and a total overhaul in the editing. Scenes were so short and so empty. You are almost begging to feel anything other than boredom. The amount of times Emily Blunt just APPEARS on the screen due to insanely fast cuts to totally different scenes, with random situations, and random time periods... Total circus fiesta and completely stunned I am even writing this about a Nolan movie still.
While information is being thrown at you about random people and random things, you really are just sitting there wondering why we are not more focused on the story? The man? The bomb? His feelings, his inner workings. All the political stories Nolan tries to sell seemingly are trying to compete with what the movie should be about. There are far, far, far too many ideas in this insanely bloated and off script. The time jumps, subject jumps, emotional jumps, political jumps are a total circus. This is a total disaster and it is shocking that this is the work of Nolan. In no way does this even remotely come together as a film.
Not to be overly insulting, but I absolutely hate poor theater behavior and disrespecting others. I have never, in any film in my life, seen more people checking their phone... Not for social media. Not for anything other than to check the time. From the first hour till the end, everyone in the theater, who were of course silent through this entire disaster, couldn't wait to be gone. I even chuckled after the first couple of people kept checking the time (1 hour into the movie) I laughed internally to myself, "LOL go ahead friend... and way ahead of you."
This is far and away the most disjointed, boring, and emotionless film I have seen in a very long time. This is a massive let down as a Nolan fan. This really continues to speak to flaws in his craft that are not just hanging around, but getting stronger. You can literally lose count of the missed opportunities to better a scene, stop the rush, and allow the audience to feel and connect... to anything...
Matt Damon is absolutely brilliant and carries this film to the 2/10 it deserves.
Thanks for reading. ~
Succession (2018)
Do Not Waste Your Time.
Another HBO travesty has fallen upon us. Once again, solid groundwork was laid around a brilliant cast... With no idea where to take the story. This is Game of Thrones 2.0, but with great acting.
Now that the show is over, we completely know that the writers never had any clue what they were doing. The show, at best, feels like a case study. It feels like a total character study. Look at the monkeys in this cage, in this zoo, and see how they act. Watch what they do and what they throw at each other. That was all good and well for a while... But where are we going with these Monkeys? Where are you taking us with them? No where - answered the writers of Succession. In fact, we are going to kill the most important monkey in our little tale because we are looking to start our next project!
While Succession has some of the best acting you will find - anywhere, ultimately it is some of the worst writing that caused this show to go from an 8 to a 3 by shows end. I have absolutely no idea why the writers leaned on "grit" and "rawness" from actors instead of literally putting together any type of story that would bring this all home. It felt like every season never knew what it wanted to be, but that we had just enough great character drama to get us through.
If your final episode has 9 quotes said by your main characters in your first and 2nd episode of the entire series... You have failed as a writer.
This show is for people that want a raw character study of rich elites who have been traumatized by abuse, within and on the out. A lot of drama and comedy. This show is not for people that take story, intentionality, and purposeful writing seriously. The show goes absolutely no where, season to season, and has one of the most randomly pathetic final seasons. Big things happen always and do not matter. Let me repeat that, as it is very important. Big things happen, with big characters, then poof! Gone. Boomerang, Boomerang, Boomerang. The ending is purest icing on the dumbest stupid cake. It couldn't be more perfect how bad the show ends and what this thing looked like coming out of the oven. BORING AND POINTLESS.
How many times will bad writers push back with "Well, this is how real life can happen." ...
No, really? GIVE US A STORY! MAKE THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE! HONOR OUR INVESTMENT!
Easy 3/10. Big thanks @ Cast !!!
Succession: With Open Eyes (2023)
Hahaha TERRIBLE! WHAT?
It doesn't feel good to be this right. At all. What a disaster. What an astonishingly predictable nothing of a final episode in a show that did predictably nothing with any of it's characters. Especially in the final season. What an astonishing waste of what could have been.
We are in the final season, and identical dialogue, which has been rehashed about 1,000 times, is still being floated. Siblings are arguing over value, worth, I'm better etc... We are, obviously, still without the main character who glued all the drama together. My cup could not possibly be more empty. Imagine, once again, not killing the character that had the most drama within him and attached to him AND was the only part of any "plot" we could ever find. Dreadful.
This is what happens when you allow your cast to do all the hard work and have no idea how to do character arcs. This is what happens when you turn a TV show in a fictional character study instead of a STORY with fictional characters. The show never, ever had any plot direction, and big surprise, the biggest wet fart of a finale since Game of Thrones.
Remember, before the unintelligent writers murdered the main character (off screen), we were building a season 4? With plot! Logan was at ATN, the kids at Pierce. We had a juicy election coming where it looked like both the kids and Logan were going to have massive News stations... Do I ever need to expand on where that drama could have lead the season? Imagine a finale with a presidential campaign election being decided that would ultimately finalize who would win - Logan, his Kids, or maybe one of the kids. The possibilities were endless and the entire first 2 episodes of season 4 built that plot. ATN vs Peirce for the Presidency and power! ... Until they killed the main character and once again asked an astonishing cast to out act the terrible writing. It's so bad, I just can't. I can't.
What a waste. NOT WORTH YOUR TIME AS THE WRITERS DONT CARE ABOUT YOU AND DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING =)
Thanks for the astounding work @ Cast. Can't wait to see you all in whatever comes next!!!
Succession: Connor's Wedding (2023)
A terrible writing choice we should have seen coming. RIP SUCCESSION
Succession should be a case study in insane brilliance and devastating ignorance - highlighted no better than in this beautiful, travesty of an episode.
On one end of the spectrum, you have this beautiful intense character study - Succession. It extends to all corners of this elite, rich, toxic, and ridiculous family. The show screamed intelligence and superb drama. Succession also tackled trauma, abuse, and culture, brilliantly through the cast of characters and the world of power. However, the "plot," which does not exist, is ALWAYS character driven. Never has that not lead to a shows eventual demise. Context... Logan's stroke in season 1 launched us into his kid's world and the world of Waystar Royco. We bounced around from weak subplots season to season, usually involving expedited business TV drama for flash. It always made sense, it just wasn't well put together or even important. What ALWAYS triumphed the plot was what the characters were feeling, experiencing, or saying, versus does this make sense or is this actually good story. The plot never was important oddly, but Roman sending inappropriate pictures to his elderly lover... spades! This is where a pair like Tom and Greg or the Mt. Everest of acting talent that is this show gently blinds you from the sad truths. The show never, ever had purposeful writing when linked to the plot. Think hard back to the previous seasons themes and you'll easily catch that drift. It's everywhere and all over, and once again, functions as a character study, not a plot driven show. Now the house of cards finally came crashing down. The ignorance, sadly, has always been deeply seeded in the non-existent plot. No intention. No Purpose. Actors go and do, and then we will think of what is next. There is your ignorance, hiding silently behind the brilliance.
To kill Logan Roy in the 3rd Episode of the final season, which disrupted about 20 hours of previous "plot," but mostly disrupted everything you have built the show to be about, was a painfully bad decision. The ignorance within the writing is on full display now when the rush job is on. Nearly this entire show was about showdowns and conflict with Logan. This entire show was about losing and winning vs Logan. Think of just how many characters that previous statement applies to, big or small. Big examples, Season 1 - Ken getting benched by his father, Ken begins to win, but loses in the finale because his Dad blackmails him. Season 2 - Ken wins because he's done being unloved and has a rocket to fire publicly. Characters arcing. Season 3 - Kids lose, despite arcing together, due to Tom's betrayal for Logan, thus sparking even more character drama for Tom and Shiv. There are about 10,000 other character interactions and effects involving Logan. It's all Logan. He is the catalyst. He is the emperor and in every scene, he is the domineering presence. Every single major important element of this show revolves around CHARACTER DRAMA linked to LOGAN. Not plot. This is literally how the writers chose to make the show! Their equation for our entertainment can easily be seen on the white board, so have no illusions about the format for this drama. It is so character heavy, everything the kids are going through is linked to Logan's fathering and abuse. It is a plotless show, but we are thrown bones to chew on while characters progress. The bread and butter is so obvious, it's relevance so glaring, and you kill it? It's the Logan show in a character drama with no plot and we no longer have the Logan. I feel it is so unpresumptuous to presume most people, by a long stretch, were tuning in to find out, "What will happen with the kids and Logan." That was the flaming torch carrying all the seasons. That was the driving question we all wanted to know. How would Logan and his kids land emotionally, relationship wise, and in terms of power? How could it NOT end this way, no matter the choice the writers opted to? No matter where you take it or how good you do it, it feels as though the very heart and purpose of this show was removed with Logan's death.
We are crashing and burning with haste dear brothers. Not even our great cast can sing a song beautiful enough to distract us from the flames or the skin singing off our face as this plane dissents into a fiery inferno of unfulfilled promises and dreams...
The death, with all of Succession's build up around the characters, is literally one of the dumbest on screen deaths of all time. The entire point of beating their father and rising past his abuse, as developed and massaged by the writers, is complete gone. The entire purpose of this show, the driving force of all the characters... in a CHARACTER DRIVEN SHOW... is gone. Tragedy. And not tragic because Logan is dead. Because the very essence, the very climax, the very show down that we have been waiting for is dead. Too many The Last Jedi feels. I highly encourage anyone who thinks the episode was a masterpiece, or was even good, to think about Logan Roy. Then I want you to think about his character in the show at the time of his death and where his relationship was with the other characters. How in any reality does the idea to kill him make sense. On Episode 3 of the last season, no less. We were short changed about 1000 other good ideas or great moments with that character and his family. Huge arcs were missed. Not full GoT, but inching up to the ballpark. Normally, a writing decision like this happens during the 4th season of like 10 seasons. There is a lot of time for the other characters to process the death and build a season around the death of a main character. Here, the single most vital element to the "plot" and ALL of the characters is gone. In the entire purpose for the house that you were building to reach a certain climax is gone. This is not subverting expectations. This simply doesn't work. The elements and variables that went into death decision 100% feel like they all revolved around, "How can we end the show this season." Shameful.
And yes, death can happen in life. You can have all these crazy drama webs in your very own family and someone can pass away. However, you don't randomly start handing out brownie points or saying it was a masterpiece just because something that happened that "Could happen in real life." People can eat pizza in real life. But does the show call for Pizza to be eaten at this time? Does it make sense for Pizza to be in the show? Does it make any sense, in any reality, for Logan Roy to be killed mid season of the final season? No. Not by any stretch of the most wild imagination. This jogs the memory of how shocked the cast was to learn that this was the final season. It all feels so off.
Well now we that know the rush in on and that the plan is to wrap up the show as best as possible - but quickly. This is where you get the terrible, big time writing decisions that make absolutely no sense. When you have to, or want to end a show, but don't know how. Why do you not know how? Because you never, ever proved that you can do plot. You never proved as writers that you could take us through a good story, with great characters. We were following great characters, through a very muddy business/family drama.
If you don't think the rush is on and that this Logan killing worked, ask yourself what the writers had to have asked themselves... How can we possibly solve Logan vs his kids (All 4) and EVERY other characters drama in 1 final season? Kill Logan!!! LAUGH. LAZY. BETRAYAL. It's funny because it's the only option that works. You have to kill everything you have built to try and end this in 1 season apparently. I don't think it takes a lot of intelligent analysis to suggest that it makes perfect sense why Brian Cox left the show without a care in the world and why the rest of the cast were shocked this was the last season. It just feels like a hard F in decision making to wrap up a show.
Normally, this is when I would go into phase 2 of why the episode suffered outside of the call to axe Logan. There were so many issues with timing, pacing, tone that I simply don't have all the time I want. Some highlights were... Do I laugh? Is it okay to laugh? Am I supposed to be caring? Why did Roman go from 1000% denial to 1000% acceptance in the hop of a scene? Felt like you wanted to build something there, as he kept denying it, and then without showing the audience his shift, Roman has accepted his Dad's fate. The amount of burger flipping between comedy and the intensity of Logan dying - or perceived intensity lol - was terrible. Just terrible. F. These are not good things to be experiencing in the final season of a show that has NEVER previously confused me in what it wanted me to feel. Yikes @ Succession.
The show is completely dead for me - shocking as it is. We loaded up Mario and on our way to save the Princess, we found out Bowser was already dead. Luke made it to the Death Star to try and save his father, but life happened and Vader died due to previous health conditions... See what I mean? As someone who appreciates wonderful balance between character studies and plot driven adventures, this show was never going to be a full titan. Alas, there still is so much love for the writers and the cast. The laughs and feelings will never, ever be forgotten. The careers and talent this show launched is tremendous. Tom and Greg alone would have been enough. Even though the show never really locked down a plot or flow, you can't help but love and admire the grit, emotion, and intentionality that worked and worked damn well when it was firing. The score and editing deserve so much praise too. During very dark times for film and TV, this show remained the easiest, surest bet for amazing entertainment and drama. Thank you Succession <3.
The 2 stars are for the performances of the cast - Although they are performances that never should have happened. Thank you for reading!
Yellowjackets: Friends, Romans, Countrymen (2023)
The single worst episode in the history of TV
Insert Jackie Chan Mind Blown meme here. Where to begin with this absolute complete disaster and 100% the worst TV episode in the history of TV.
The tension is non existent. The writing is so terrible it cringes you to your core, but even if it were good, the scenes jump faster than the this show will crater. You cannot fathom how jumpy this episode is until you experience it first hand. Scenes with any tension, even the slightest, are cut randomly to launch you to another random plot like that makes zero sense. The show is a scatter fest of hilariously dumb, random scenes that shouldn't be happening, and could be replaced with literally any other idea on planet earth. Watching the actors force there way through the words is harder than watching the cannibalism. It's that bad. No, it's so, so much worse than anything you've even thought of.
Yes. I am sure everyone is okay with keeping Jackie's body out for Shauna to talk to? I guess the girls voted and coach had no issues with corpse chats. Every element of that even happening was so dumb. The boyfriend drama and cheating dialogue to the frozen corpse. Is this real life? This is your season opener? The only way that train wreck could possibly not run off a cliff, but rather fall off into a black hole, would be if Shauna were to start randomly eating Jackie's body parts. And here we are. In a black hole. This is the worst writing in the history of television. The very fact that the idea of Shauna talking to Jackie's frozen corpse for months was taken so seriously that it actually happened should terrify you for more future terrible ideas in Yellowjackets.
Yes. Let's spread our DNA all over Adam's studio. Let's get into the dumbest, most hilariously stupid fantasy sequence during a scene that should be filled with enormous tension and fear. Everything about this scene was horrid. The tone, timing, acting, and directing of what was supposed to be an intimate scene is the greatest F of all time. This scene literally should win awards for how bad it is. Why is Jeff in this show. Why are we here. There are incredible, mysterious, and unknown science fiction elements going on in Yellowjackets and we are getting repressed marriage house wife fantasies in art studios of victims we murdered? This can't be real.
Yes. Let's just give Travis a boner after he has a panic attack and a vision because, why the hell not at this point. Like... How was any of this allowed to be put into the script? How can you literally read this scene off and say, "Yup." This is the most random and obvious way to throw in a love triangle for more pointless drama it looks like... but to do it with a post anxiety attack dream vision boner? LOL... Is this real life?
Yes. Let's untie a kidnapped victim (Natalie) and give them a metal fork. Yes. Let's lean into them and trust that they will be nice. Yes. Yes. Yellowjacket writing team. Yes. Yes.
Adult Natalie - Episode literally could have began with Lottie entering the hostage room. No need for the worst kidnapping escape in the history of thought. Everything with Natalie this episode was a waste.
Adult Misty - Spends the entire episode whining and crying. That's been established. Imagine getting rid of all her cringe scenes, particularly with a random hotel clerk, and have the episode begin with her discovering Natalie has been kidnapped. Plot stuff. Plot advances. Brain think thoughts. Everything with Misty this episode was a waste.
Adult Shauna - A cheating, nonempathetic, bad mother, omega Karen, and her loser husband are going to be the focal point of the adult drama for the season. Fantastic. Adam's story line was the biggest weight of boredom in Season 1, so we are doubling down. No, great idea. I literally have no care whatsoever for what is actually going on to the kids in the woods. Give me soap box Karen please over the mystery, sci-fi, and horror. What even is this show.
Adult Tai - Yes. Having an emotional scene with the new dog Steve and promising not to hurt it definitely is where this character needs to be focused. Tai apparently is having more empathy for the new puppy than the complete horrifying disaster she has just put her wife through. We are not at all worried about never seeing our son again. But... "Steveeeee. It was a mistake!! I will never hurt you Steveeeee!" LOOOOOL.
2 gay teenagers expressing love, concerns, fear, and support for 2 minutes of film is the only star the episode gets, because that is literally the only scene that worked and contextually made any sense.
In a single episode, Yellowjackets has died. WOW.