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Reviews
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie (2004)
I have never ever given a 1 before....
This movie is so bad it's beyond belief. If you want to watch a 90 minute commercial for YuGiOh, feel free... as if a 90 second one wasn't bad/boring/annoying enough.
Japanese animation, not particularly impressive to begin with, continues its unimpressive reign among lousy movies meant to sell Japanese toys.
How could ANYBODY find this entertaining whatsoever?? Or spend money on this crap??? EVEN seven year olds???? My five year old cousin already thinks YuGiOh is stupid...
Further proof that NOBODY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MAKE A MOVIE BASED ON A TOY!!
Accepted (2006)
AWFUL movie... not even funny, just made to turn a profit
I think it's very telling that all the posters who refer to this as a "great movie" or "really funny" have a vocabulary of about 7 words, and 4 of them are misspelled.
I rented this movie, and really wanted to give it a chance. The trailers looked reasonably funny, and I thought the idea of a student creating their own college might lead to some good gags. I knew the plot was implausible, but I assumed they could get SOME humor out of it....
I was wrong.
For starters, I'm a 22 year old male who enjoys more than his share of bawdy college/teenage movies. I'm not some uptight jerk who blushes at a fart joke. Animal House is one of my favorite movies, and Eurotrip, Old School and Anchorman are a few of the flicks I am especially fond of. But...
"Accepted" was not only really bad, it was PAINFUL to watch. I think that the few times when I actually chuckled were all shown in the trailers. The writing was TERRIBLE. (I wasn't at all surprised when I checked the trivia section on IMDb and saw that much of it was improvised. There's a good reason that none of these people are on Saturday Night Live!) There were a lot of punchlines where I not only cringed, but I couldn't imagine ANYBODY even cracking a smile. Also, there's only so many times you can make a joke out of the fact that South Harmon Institute of Technology can be abbreviated SH IT, and I think that joke, which really wasn't all that clever to begin with, wore out its welcome within the first 20 minutes or so. Yet, it went on, and on, through the whole movie...
The whole premise that real colleges are only meant to help one find a good job really got old as well. I guess that whole theme was intended to create an "us vs. them" idea, where the People(TM) triumph over the snobbish east coast intellectuals and old money. Personally, if anything, this movie made me WANT to be a snob rather than a slob.
On top of its total inability to bring it with the funnies, it was incredibly unoriginal. The entire plot seemed to have been lifted from Camp Nowhere, Animal House, Van Wilder, and Old School. However, on top of that, the entire movie was EXTREMELY predictable. Tell me, please, just HOW you didn't see every major plot twist (of which there were few) from a mile away? Additionally, not only was it very implausible, but it seems that everybody in the movie was just plain STUPID. The president of the fraternity, who's dating Monica, treats Bartleby like a guest, and he's a douche to him in return? The students' parents, who seem to live about two towns over, at most, just accept that there's suddenly this new college that nobody's ever heard of? The Ohio State Board of Accreditation actually AGREES to let the students continue to do absolutely nothing, and receive college credit for it? Nobody in the surrounding area sees the new "college" being faked and says or does anything about it? Every single event that moved the plot just seemed incredibly cheesy and contrived, ESPECIALLY the ending. Also, the parents of over 300 people who got rejected from other schools actually pay $10 000 in cash UPFRONT?? Do YOU have that kind of money? Oh, and does Ohio not have junior colleges, or what??? The acting was horrible as well. Justin Long isn't NEARLY a good enough actor, or even charismatic enough, to play a leading role, especially when he's expected to carry writing that's as bad as this. Van Wilder at least had Jason Lee, Kal Penn, and Tara Reid, all of whom have, at least, charisma. (And Tara Reid is gorgeous.) Fortunately for him, the rest of the cast was even worse. His dad had, it seemed, about two expressions. Lewis Black was the only inspired casting choice, and I'm sure he's looking back, thinking "Why, oh why, would I lower myself to this??" I'm not the type of movie watcher who is put off by pedestrian acting, usually, but this was WELL below average.
I don't even know why this movie was made. I believe this movie was actually made and released to 1. make money (HEY!! Let's make a really shoddy college comedy and just advertise a lot!! It's bound to be a hit!!! People are stupid!!) and 2. sell Macintosh computers. Seriously, did anyone else notice that they made sure to put the Mac symbol in virtually every other scene?? Every time I looked there was another iMac. Product placement is one thing, but this was just ridiculous. I half expected to see an iMac in front of Rory when she was meditating, or at the concert/party in the background, on the stage somewhere. Did Steve Jobs personally bankroll this movie, or write the script or something? No really, I want to know.
It's unfortunate, because I had high hopes, and I went into this movie wanting desperately to enjoy it. In summary, if the CIA finds that it needs a new method of torture that is not banned by the Geneva Convention, I would recommend forcing Taliban enemy combatants to watch this movie with their eyes clamped open, Clockwork Orange-style. That'll crack 'em a lot faster than flushing a Qu'ran down the toilet.
3/10
***SPOILER BELOW***
I WILL admit, however, that the telekinetic kid blowing up the dean's car at the end of the movie was amusing. :)