LordManhammer Reviews

Babylon 5: The River of Souls (1998 TV Movie)

Makes me wish Lochley better utilized in series

[6/10 · 4 August 2023]

I never much liked Capt. Lochley, but I see now that's because she was too minor a character in the final season of the series. I may have enjoyed another season of her in charge of Babylon 5, without so many of the original characters around. I surprise myself here because I am usually so sentimental about actors leaving shows--and I got super sad about Mollari becoming alienated from his friends at the end--but this movie was satisfying in its simplicity. The series was also being dragged down by the maudlin romance between Sheridan and Delenn.

These moves are essentially long episodes, but I like that. The major downside here is that I thought they'd gotten rid of the animosity between Lochley and Garibaldi a few episodes into the final season, and I didn't like seeing it return.

Andromeda: Vault of the Heavens (2003) Season 3, Episode 17

Just cringe-worthy, but Tyr's plot is fun

[3/10 · 11 March 2023]

I like to think I would cringe at this episode even if I'd watched it 20 years ago. Andromeda occasionally falls prey to formulaic sex jokes, and Season 3 is rife with them. Harper clownishly lays it on thick to good-locking alien women, while those alien women seduce Hunt. Annoying because hackneyed.

But this episode takes the cake on casting Hunt as the alpha dog, the macho man. The social relation between Hunt and alien woman could be an interesting plot point if handled well, but the writing feels like a 1960s-era Captain Kirk winking at the camera. Look, Sorbo is attractive but you gotta show not tell.

The saving grace of this episode (and season) is that Tyr shows his humorous side when he effectively handles his task on the ship while Hunt is...otherwise occupied.

Star Trek: Enterprise: These Are the Voyages... (2005) Season 4, Episode 22

In the holodeck, our favorite characters are always alive

[8/10 · 1 October 2021]

I fully understand why this finale let down fans, especially those who watched the series in real time rather than binging it years later online. Yet I am okay with viewing this as the creators suggested, as a "coda" with the previous 2-parter as the true finale.

I am hugely sentimental, and this is why I appreciated the Next Generation callback. Typically I don't actually like guest appearances from a previous cast because they are cheap, and thus I despised the Troi/Reg episodes of Voyager.

But here, I can imagine the first Enterprise crew as having existed all along within the TNG episode "Pegasus," and existing forever to be called up and viewed when a crewmember of a future starship wants to watch the founding of Earth's space travel program in their holodeck. Otherwise, it's just too sad to me to think that all these characters are dead by the time TNG and the other spinoffs come around!

Star Trek: Voyager: One Small Step (1999) Season 6, Episode 8

A clunky attempt to advance Seven and Chakotay's characters

[6/10 · 20 May 2021]

One aspect of Voyager I appreciate is that episodes focusing on one character are just as likely to focus on that character's foibles as on their heroism, and I find this to be realistic and relatable.

But here, attempts to flesh out Chakotay's back story and Seven's emotional development fall flat. Chakotay is suddenly a Mars exploration aficionado, even though he said nothing of the sort when presented with the opportunity on a recent episode entirely about the Mars missions, 11:59 (1999).

He also suddenly has a passion for paleontology, despite never having mentioned this in past discussions of his early life and time in Starfleet. We already knew he left Starfleet after his father's death caused him to re-evaluate his priorities, and here he states that joining the Maquis derailed his pursuit of paleontology. Yet one would assume at that point he would already have taken major steps toward this career--there has never been any indication Starfleet expects its scientists to delay their advanced training. These new interests felt contrived, and it would have helped if Chakotay directly connected them--such as stating he was interested in the history of space exploration specifically because it can lead to exobiological or paleontological study of life on other planets; but since he didn't draw this connection his new passions were odd.

Disobeying orders isn't exactly out of character for Chakotay, as some of his best episodes involved his decision to pursue his own course, like in Maneuvers (1995). The problematic aspect of his behavior here that felt out of character is that he kept stopping other characters to chat even though they were facing a major time crunch to save their lives, like when he waylaid Seven on her way to the Mars module in order to slowly explain his regrets about the mission and ask her to look around the module for sentimentality's sake.

Captain Janeway also irked a little, acting arrogant and condescending when Seven questioned the wisdom of entering the anomaly and even pulling rank on her in such an unnecessary way ("I appreciate your concern, but this is my call"). I'm a historian, and even I got frustrated with the crew's repeated insistences that recovering historical artifacts would allow them to be part of history, and thus was worth risking their lives. This is one of many episodes where Seven has to learn a lesson, yet here, her objections were always reasonable and the crew's responses to her were not lessons I would have her learn.

Star Trek: Voyager: Unforgettable (1998) Season 4, Episode 22

Finally, a Chakotay love story

[7/10 · 2 May 2021]

Yes, this episode has many plot holes and reviewers are rightly frustrated that little detail is offered about Kellin's biological processes that render others' memories unable to capture her. But I don't think it is fair to ask for less focus on the love story.

Chakotay has gotten the short end of the stick with personality-expanding episodes, or maybe it just feels that way because of how stoic he is. Because of his unemotionality, the Vulcan Tuvok actually gets a lot of attention surrounding his emotional reactions to events. Chakotay has certainly been the star of multiple episodes by this point late in season 4, but he has been fading into the background, seeming more impassive even than the Vulcan. He is a stalwart piece of furniture on the bridge.

Chakotay's major traits are his loyalty and strong work ethic, so much so that the only times viewers see him passionate are when he cares deeply about solving an engineering or diplomatic problem his own way. When we discover he had a fling with Seska, it is only relevant because his work ethic and loyalty cause him to want to protect Voyager all by himself.

If anything, "Unforgettable" did not offer enough scenes of this man feeling feelings.

Star Trek: Voyager: Retrospect (1998) Season 4, Episode 17

The problem here is the writing "tells" instead of "shows" with the plot twist

[4/10 · 29 April 2021]

I don't know a lot about screenwriting, but one basic rule does seem to hold when I find a particular movie or show unengaging: a writer must show why something is true, rather than simply tell the viewer. As an easy example, if a character is smart, it is not enough for other characters to keep saying things like "boy, that Person is sure smart!" You've got to give them clever lines to prove their intelligence.

Another reviewer here complains about how often Voyager plots "flip-flop," meaning a new emotion is thrown in that the characters suddenly take up, as a cheap way to carry out a plot twist. I agree, and the problem with this episode is that Janeway and the Doctor insist by the end that they weren't giving Kovin a real chance. The Doctor thinks he was too caught up in trying to protect Seven, while Kovin rubbed Janeway the wrong way and she might have let her dislike bias her.

I won't touch on the problematic victim-blaming nature of this episode because it has already been done so admirably by other reviewers. I'll speak instead to those others who think the episode nailed its "a person isn't guilty until proven innocent" message: this episode fails because at no point are the characters shown treating Kovin unfairly, believing he must be guilty and refusing him a fair attempt to prove himself. To the contrary, the writers have Kovin behaving guilty, being very crude and defensive every time he opens his mouth. I rewatched the episode to look for signs of impartiality, but everything about Janeway, the Doctor, and Tuvok's investigation seemed fine.

Ultimately, the disappointment here is that we're told Janeway and the Doctor regret their actions, yet the writers didn't actually write them any actions to regret, and I'm left scratching my head why they think they behaved badly.

Star Trek: Voyager: Sacred Ground (1996) Season 3, Episode 7

Better than Q's philosophizing

[7/10 · 13 April 2021]

It's always amazed me that the character "Q" was such a fan favorite in the Star Trek franchises, and his episodes get great reviews for being intellectual and pondering the deep mysteries of the universe and human psyche. Even the season 2 episode of Voyager, "The Thaw," with its frenetic circus bullies, gets high marks for probing what it means to fear.

Yet "Sacred Ground" gets low reviews here, seemingly because self-professed science lovers are jumping out of their heads, offended that there is an alien religion in the episode. I find this confusing, because very many Star Trek episodes are heavily imbued with spirituality and religion. How can haters of this episode watch any of Deep Space 9, with its entire plot wrapped around a religion's protective spirits selecting a Federation officer to take their part in a cosmic war with evil wraith spirits?

Anyway, I tend to find Star Trek very boring when it's trying to philosophize. They only reach as far as a middle class sort of intellectualism. But this episode isn't about religion or meaning of life type stuff, it is about Janeway getting in her own way and having to learn that she has some leadership flaws that have been masquerading as Starfleet virtues. Janeway doesn't come around to religion and start doubting science, as many negative reviewers insist.

Janeway essentially undertook corporate management training and learned that she is so quick to give and take orders that she was losing grasp of her instincts and patience to solve a problem. She learned a new way to approach Voyager's predicament--instead of viewing it as a series of challenges she is really creating out of thin air to feel she is being productive, she may need to be open to the holistic experience of being in the Delta quadrant.

I do wish more time had been granted to Janeway's moment of enlightenment--this might help it feel less "religious." The downside to this episode is that honestly, I don't think Janeway actually needed these lessons, and I don't think she would have behaved as single-mindedly as she did starting the ritual, trying to bulldoze her way through it.

The Frozen Ground (2013)

Suspense hits the wrong target

[4/10 · 10 February 2021]

Crime thrillers follow two main paths: either the audience is kept in suspense as to who the killer is, or the audience knows all along and waits to see the cat-and-mouse game between the killer and police.

The problem with this movie is that it attempts to choose the latter, but the suspense is based not on any clever moves the killer makes to avoid detection or a detective's ingenious moves to find evidence and trick the killer into making mistakes. Instead, the only suspense is Sgt. Halcombe's attempts to overcome the obstacles in his path--namely other police investigators' incompetence, a skeptical DA, and his own nagging wife.

In addition, there is so little back story or detail about the killer that he appears as a straw man in the plot. He is supposedly an upstanding citizen with a clean record, yet Halcombe does uncover previous convictions that are never squared with the APD captain's refusal to pursue the case. The few scenes of Hansen at his bakery do not go far enough in establishing how this felon has, in the past few years, established himself as a beloved figure in Anchorage--especially given the way Hansen acted during questioning when Halcombe finally arrested him. He acted not at all charming, clever, or intelligent, a far cry from the personality he would need to move on from his jail time and convincingly portray a successful businessman and family man.

Cave (2016)

English dubbing does not match subtitles, which both helps and hurts

[7/10 · 11 June 2020]

I have to start by noting I love movies set in caves, tunnels, mines--regardless of the thrill or horror element. Cave-ins, killer beasts, aliens, interpersonal discord, I love it all. I recently watched (link=tt4815122) and loved it more than the average reviewer.

Yes, The Cave has problems other reviewers have mentioned, but not to the extent that they ruined the film. The real issue is the poor English dubbing, which makes the characters seem more inane than they really are. My advice is to keep the subtitles on, because the two translations are quite different, and offer different insight into what is going on.

Yes, this means doing two things at once, reading and listening to different dialogue at once. Sometimes the two translations are just alternate options to make the translation idiomatic in English, but in other cases they don't seem like they could possibly be versions of the same Norwegian line. Putting together the information from both translations fleshes out how the characters relate to each other and react to what happens, and ultimately helps to explain the ending.

Still, there are unanswered questions I think fit into the "the screenwriters were lazy" category rather than the "intentional ambiguities designed to make me think" category. I wonder whether translation issues are obscuring these plot points more than the original screenwriting. Still, don't let the negative reviews turn you away if you're a fan of the genre, rather than just casually looking for a movie.

Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? (2001 TV Movie)

Educational in how conspiracies work

[5/10 · 27 November 2019]

Some reviewers seem angry at this production, forgetting, I guess, that it was made not because its producers genuinely believe in the conspiracy, but because it was an opportunity to make money. Take a breath, let it out, and let go of the anger.

Conspiracy docs like this are a great learning opportunity, both in the sense that there is some great NASA footage here (that led me into a deep dive about the tragedy of Apollo 1, which I hadn't known about before) and it is fun to Google around for answers to rebut the conspiracy; but also in the sense that we deal every day with people who think this way and it's useful to learn how their minds work.

I write this in 2019, when Americans believe all sorts of political theories that help to delegitimize the party and politicians they don't like, and watching things like this helps me understand the way information and narratives can be manipulated, and how I can try to shape my own arguments to be convincing to someone not used to seeing all the facts.

Vengeance: A Love Story (2017)

This movie is designed to make you angry

[6/10 · 13 July 2019]

It is certainly, and devastatingly, true that some horrible things happen in courtrooms when rapists defend themselves against rape accusations. The individual things that happened to the woman protagonist and her daughter are therefore believable as being outright commonplace in the Western world. But this film does not attempt to paint a thoroughly accurate portrait of a rape and prosecution--even a worst case scenario--so much as it aims to compile all the worst possible things that might happen into one case.

Movies about rape are always hard to watch, but can be beneficial to keep people oriented to real problems with society. The problem I see with this film is that instead of giving me realistic attitudes and scenes to ponder, it was designed to make me jump straight to anger and shocked disbelief at what characters do and say. There was no letup in the horrific things happening to Teena at every turn. Instead of wanting revenge on the perpetrators, and using this movie to think through the justice I'd like all misogynists or rapists to see, the spell was broken every time I reminded myself that my anger was contrived and that the hateful rapists are just characters.

For this reason the film fell a little flat for me, and it couldn't be a true psychological odyssey like other films about rape have been.

Coming Through the Rye (2015)

Feeble autobiographical ego piece

[4/10 · 12 March 2019]

I admit to being thrown off by the rave reviews here, because I found this movie utterly dull and not at all moving or evocative. To the degree it may have touched on the coming-of-age experience, it did so because of cliche scenes and plot lines recycled from every movie you have seen about young people. The writing suffers from the fault of telling rather than showing; we hear all about Jamie's masterful writing and intelligence, yet see none of it for ourselves.

There is no clever, insightful, or witty dialogue, and viewers never truly see Jamie's personality because it is overwhelmed by his obsession with and kowtowing to Salinger in a way that is uncomfortable to the viewer. I couldn't connect or sympathize with the character, a problem compounded by actor Alex Wolff's performance falling flat. Lackluster music intensified the lethargy.

The central problem, I think, is the film's autobiographical conceit. The story here could be interesting if executed with panache: aspiring and troubled boy seeks out reclusive author, receives golden wisdom. But the film's relentless desire to project Jamie as a hero refuses the more interesting (and believable) denouement, a glorious letdown as a teenager comes to realizes his skills are no match for J.D. Salinger and he is not ready for the real world. Instead the film takes Jamie's skills for granted, even though, as he himself admits, all he has done is re-write a novel with some abridgments and added stage directions.

I am shocked not that the screenwriter/director, James Sadwith, actually thought as a teenager he would be the one to receive Salinger's permission to produce an adaptation, because ambitious teenagers think this way. They inflate their sense of self. What shocks me is that Sadwith never learned his lesson, never became more self-aware. He became convinced in retrospect that he really had produced something grand and the world needed to see his story on screen. The film is a sort of end-run around Salinger's interdiction, offering up Sadwith's own Holden Caulfieldesque journey as if it can compete with Salinger's hero; can prove the famous author made a mistake in rebuffing him; can appeal to great fans of the classic novel.

Ultimately, in attempting to take a place on the pedestal with Salinger, Sadwith trips on the man's coattails.

A Good American (2015)

Frustratingly vague

[6/10 · 6 March 2019]

This documentary places the U.S. intelligence community's failure to thwart the 9/11 attacks into the context of that community's attempts since WW2 to grapple with "Big Data," the ever-growing cache of data created in the digital world. The film is not overtly political, which some will appreciate, and others not.

The irony here is that a film about overwhelming data is quite short on the details. There is little explanation as to how the subjects' data-collection system, ThinThread, actually worked and the sorts of meaning-making it undertook. There are no examples as to the significant results of analyzing metadata. I don't mean to say the film was overly dumbed-down for those without knowledge of software development, coding, or cryptanalysis. To the contrary, the subjects would make a few highly technical yet vague statements about their project, then move on.

Ultimately, the subject matter is riveting and infuriating, and I bet anyone watching this will be driven to do further research on ThinThread and the NSA and DoD's scandalous treatment of it before and after 9/11. Yet the documentary's vagueness--and relative lack of follow-through about attempts to reveal this scandal to the public--leave the film feeling like conspiracy theory rather than investigative reporting or whistleblowing.

Patchwork (2015)

Girl Power, Oddly

[7/10 · 6 March 2019]

For the first 15-20 minutes, I thought this was the stupidest movie I've ever seen. But then it took a turn for the kooky, in a good way. Well acted and surprisingly funny. I expected there to be many negative reviews on this site from people who watched only the beginning but gave up, so I'm glad to see all the love.

That said, I think many viewers will not experience this the way I did, and won't appreciate its particular humor. But give it a try! There are small moments of refinement that show the makers paid attention to detail, from actress' facial expressions to an addition of music at unexpected moments (like a certain scene set in a frat house).

Cape Fear (1991)

Packed with contrivances

[5/10 · 1 March 2019]

Many of the positive reviewers of this film seem to have seen it when it first came out, and their positions are colored by that long-ago viewing. But this movie doesn't stack up to the many great thrillers that have been made since 1991, so someone coming to this for the first time now is likely to be unimpressed.

The plot is full of contrivances that drive it from one unbelievable occurrence to another. As is common to the genre, many of the contrivances have to do with the actions of law enforcement. An ex-con is accused of harassing the lawyer who worked on his case, yet police regularly take the side of the violent felon over the decorated lawyer or insist nothing can be done? Hard to believe.

The Levenger Tapes (2013)

Gets better in second half

[6/10 · 31 January 2019]

I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, because I've seen just about every "found footage" horror and sci-fi movie there is.

"Levenger Tapes" spends about 40 minutes being one of the worst of the genre I've seen, and ultimately, anyone who isn't a true fan of found footage probably won't like this. I mean, it comes complete with the obligatory car-trip opening in which the characters' witty banter is supposed to introduce and endear them to us. Cliches abound in the first half, and some aspects carry through, like characters making illogical choices.

But the movie turns out to be something I didn't expect, in terms of what the 'scare factor' was. Like another reviewer said, the film description on this site gives away more than perhaps it should, yet really doesn't give away the game. There was an interesting component that was underdeveloped, but pulled the movie out of the gutter for me. I urge you to stick with this one to the end.

One scene also managed to really freak me out, involving a flashlight in a bush--you'll know it when you see it.

Ghost Stories (I) (2017)

Darkly comedic yet ultimately poignant horror anthology

[6/10 · 30 January 2019]

Within the framework of a paranormal-debunker investigating three cases which his colleague has declared unexplainable, this film presents three horror vignettes that manage a spooky atmosphere but have an overall darkly comedic overtone. This is important to know going in, I think, because dark comedy can be disappointing--even to those who like it--if one expects more sincere horror.

Though many reviewers have called this film truly scary or creepy, this is not its intention, which I think has also led to poor reviews by people disappointed with the ending. Ultimately the narrative framework coalesces into the fourth, poignant if not outright tragic vignette.

I think the filmmakers were aiming for some existential levels they did not quite reach, regarding the nature of truth and how people interpret what they see--or THINK they see. Nevertheless the film was a break from the ordinary, which this horror fanatic always appreciates.

Fleming (2014)

Appeals to those who would be Bond

[2/10 · 28 October 2018]

No real plots, no real characters; just a cad getting his way in everything, because a cad can get his way with anything if he has a team of fiction writers on his side. Series is full of contrived, cliche, paper-thin vignettes in which Fleming is supposedly charming and witty, yet instead of showing us how this might be, the lazy writers simply tell us by having everything come up aces.

A note for those of you who would be Bond: grabbing a woman in a hallway, refusing to let her pass and forcing yourself on her while saying "tell me you don't want this" won't get you the girl. It will only get you an indictment.

The Suicide Theory (2014)

No clever moments

[5/10 · 8 September 2018]

This film relies on obvious plot points and has no clever moments, no clever dialogue. The central premise about friendship is plodding, and the "twists" are apparent from the get-go. Dull, through and through.

Cementerio General (2013)

Atmosphere ruined by juvenile humor

[5/10 · 22 July 2018]

I can see why one reviewer found the film "terrifying." Once it gets going, the cemetery scenes are creepy enough--enough for me to almost forgive the shaky cam. Unfortunately, the atmosphere was ruined before it even began because the first 30 minutes were filled with teenage boys crudely talking to and about teenage girls, trying to grab their bodies, and filming up their skirts and other parts of their bodies without permission. The target audience seems to be young men, and the rest of us are left behind.

Ocean's Thirteen (2007)

Where are all the women? Oh, there they are, taking their clothes off...

[5/10 · 23 April 2018]

Much can be said regarding the problems with the two Ocean's sequels. They are gratuitous, seeking to indulge viewers in the personality traits and in-jokes we found charming in the first film, but which have now become overdone and drag down the films' humor. Premises and plot lines have become bloated and ever more unbelievable, crammed so full of twists and intricacies that any given detail is under-explained to the point of confusion.

Generally speaking, Ocean's Thirteen is better than Twelve in all these respects. However, this one sinks to a new low: our heroes drug a woman (with pheromones) so she will engage in sexual activity with one the operatives and bring him into a private area where he can pull off a heist.

In other words, producers hired just one woman actor--so that they could write a sexual assault plot about her. Be better, Hollywood.