Kalvarius Reviews

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Snake Eyes is the only good thing

[1/10 · 7 August 2009]

As a fan of the original series i was not pleased on how accurate the characters were. The only one that was close is Snake Eyes(who is a total bada**)

Character flaws (Contains Spoilers) Snake Eyes - in the movie it says that snake eyes was mute because of a vow of silence when really he was in a helicopter accident and had his face scarred and was left mostly mute. Also he should have blonde hair but instead he has brown (kid version) Scarlett - Should have a relationship with Snake Eyes but instead goes for Ripcord???? really......

Baroness - Is controlled by cobra?? and her brother is Rex which should really be named Eugene. Had a relationship with Duke in the past which should have never happened. She should be with Destro.

Storm Shadow - In the movie he kills his master which should not happen, he was only blamed for it. He and Snake Eyes should be like best friends but Storm Shadow hunts for his uncles killer after he is blamed and later gets brainwashed by Cobra.

Zartan - Can only change his appearance through nanomachines instead of illusions and holograms.

Cobra Commander - you see his face.....YOU SEE HIS FACE! >:O and he is Baroness's brother Rex??? really..... come on....

Accelerator suits are garbage. The Joe's are supposed to be the best of the best military personnel. They never wore performance enhancing suits.

I know they wanted to modernize this series and make it all action packed but these character flaws should not be this bad. It would not be hard at all to make the characters how they should be.

If you took all the scenes with Snake Eyes and left the rest out it would be 10 times better than seeing the whole thing

Transformers (2007)

Better than i could have imagined

[10/10 · 13 July 2007]

This movie was great. I didn't have high hopes for it at first but it blew my mind away. They way the transformers looked was amazing. They looked so realistic. The story wasn't half bad either, it could have been better but i think it was good enough to not ruin it.

The reason people may bash this movie is because they expected it to be too much like the original cartoon. And the fact that all the decepticons were not really colorful. I think that a red and white starscream would have looked retarded.

One of my favorite parts is where starscream fights the other F-22 Raptors. How he transforms, shoots some guys, transfomes and jet further ahead, transforms, shoots some guys, transforms, goes further ahead, transforms, shoots some more, transforms and blasts away. It was awesome.