Change Your Image
TotalRockerChick
Reviews
Rest Stop (2006)
Only if I Could Get That Hour & A Half Back of My Life...
In the words of Joey Lawrence (or at least the words he should have said), "JUST KILL ME!" I feel that since I have lost a part of my life that I can never get back, that I would like to share with all of you, my experience with this movie. Oh where, oh where to start? I guess we'll go in chronological order. First of all
Why the hell would you drive from Texas to California? Aren't there trains? Planes? Think about gas prices?! And then if you are going to drive
Please, just pee on the side of the road. Do you really think you'll feel better peeing in a STD infested toilet? Now when the movie truly begins to start. Alright, so Nicole walks out and sees that her boyfriend Jesse is no longer there. I don't know but if it was me. I would have just started walking. (after breaking into the ranger's office and taking any sharp object) If it was a joke he would have just came out, but he didn't so we know its not. I mean let's all just think about it for a moment. She's stuck there for what seems to be, at least a week or so. I think she would have been able to walk 60 miles in 7 days! And hey if you're scared of walking on the side of the road steal a compass from the ranger's office and walk in the woods! Okay, now that I already told you what I would have done, I still can't understand why she stayed. I can't say how many times I screamed at the screen for her just to start walking. Or at least die. What was next? OH YES! The crazy guy in the truck throwing her the cell phone. Very classy. If she couldn't get the message that Jesse was dead from that
Then hey, I don't know what to tell you.
I'm already forgetting what happened so I'll just throw out a few random scenes.
Who the hell was the lady in the closet? I'm sorry, but I would have left her butt. Who cares about some random lady that wasn't there before? And the police officer! OMG! I would have taken his gun and motorcycle right after (even before) the guy ran him over. I mean it was ridiculous. She had a way of escape! But no she's laying there with him, "It's going to be okay, you're going to live." OH AND WHEN SHE SHOOTS HIM IN THE MOUTH! OMG HYSTERICAL! HIS BRAINS ARE ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR AND HE WAKES UP AND SAYS SHE MISSES! OMG, IF YOU ASK ME, I THINK SHE SHOT HIM.
And the explosion! How can anyone forget the explosion?; best damn part of the movie! It was all slow and matrix-y. She can fly off of a building but she can't walk 60 miles. Another thing. When she's laying against the tree why is it when she hears the car she jumps into the front of it? And why is Jesse "alive" (I put it in quotations because I have truly no idea what just went on there) shouldn't all of his limbs be cut off or something? All in all
this was the worst movie ever. I can't even continue this from the pure fact that I am so distraught that I can never get this time back. I just hope that anyone out there who thinks about watching this movie, PLEASE READ THE REVIEWS FIRST! PLEASE SAVE YOUR SELF FROM AN HOUR AND A HALF OF PAIN! Thank you all for taking your time to read this.
Blue Citrus Hearts (2003)
Hey Suzie Cyanide take a film class!
How do you get a D- in art class? Stick some poetic random lines stolen from an emo CD and rainbow colored transitions and call it a movie. The cover was extremely misleading and the screen shots on the back were not even in the "movie". Nice choice of actors... CAN YOU SAY UGLY?!?!?!?!?! (not that that matters *cough, cough*) But come on every other person in the background was more attractive than the lead people. I mean did you see that guy at the party?! HOTT! Get a tripod and a camera cleaner, and when editing make sure that the other camera used to film wasn't in the shot? I've heard of raw cinematography but this looks like my home video from fifth grade. The plot made no sense and it was EXTREMELY dragged on. You can purchase microphones at RadioShack. The kiss at the end was okay at first but for two people "in love" it was a stupid and long kiss. It seemed like real life at first but then it showed how bad the acting was and it was clear that the person was reading from a script and that the people had no idea how to use their emotions. *cough, cough* red head! I've seen some pretty good gay themed movies but I wouldn't even consider this a movie. How could this have won anything? The people who chose are clearly doing drugs with Suzie Cyanide. When you want to cry eye drops may be a good source if you're really not capable of tearing. What was with the entire movie taking place in that coffee shop/diner/pharmacy? Couldn't they find any other locations? And use a better filter I can tell it was sunny out, I mean did you see him squinting? His pupils weren't even visible. I've never heard anyone use that kind of dialogue. "Thank you for not getting mad about my suspension." "You're over-stepping the boundaries." Boundaries of WHAT?! She just wanted to see your book, the girlfriend of four months! Overall if you want to waste an hour and thirty one minutes of your life or have a good laugh with your friends while passed out drunk, then suuure rent this "movie"!
Doll Graveyard (2005)
Could This Movie Get Any Better?
Oh my god... From the moment this "movie" started I knew it was going to be bad. First of all the acting was just HORRIBLE! I mean come on "No daddy, I didn't mean to daddy!". If you think about the time period back then there would be many, many women figures around to take care of the girl. A nanny, or a step-mother, an aunt, or even her real mother would have been there to get her into shape. Then for the father to make the girl dig?! What was that?! And I mean when she fell she fell like what? A foot? That wouldn't kill anyone! And then for the father not to check to even see if she was alive?! Okay, now for the other lovely actors. ALL of the teenagers should have died! They deserved to. "AHHH What are we going to do?" I can tell you what to do... GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND RUN FOR IT!!! GOD!!! HOW STUPID COULD YOU BE?! YOU JUST SAW YOUR BOYFRIEND GET KILLED (by being attacked in the crotch) AND YOUR JUST GONNA STAND THERE?! COME ON!!! And the blonde! Can you say stupid blonde?! "Where is my phone? I can't find it!" When she finally finds the dang thing she moved so slowly... YOUR SUPPOSE TO GRAB IT REALLY FAST! And you think she would learn! She did that the first time and then she got bit... You think she would say hey let me get it really fast and maybe I won't get bit again. OH! And did anyone notice that before she was bit there was blood already on her face? HOW DO YOU MAKE A MOVIE AND NOT NOTICE THAT? That and the bottle of alcohol that magically refilled itself over and over again. This was seriously bad excuse for a movie. I could go on and on about the sister, the friend who was hitting on the younger brother and don't even get me started on the doll loving boy... "I got the new Hydroman action figure" "Oh isn't that the one that turns into water?" "You know who Hydroman is too" *cough* Hydro means water honey... Anyone 9 and up knows that... GET A LIFE! And the ending?! There are three people dead in the house, the people who were just attacked by the dolls are standing over them lovingly and the doll lover turns into a dead rotting chick?! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT RENT THIS "MOVIE" IF YOU DO... I CAN'T HELP YOU ANYMORE... ITS TRULY A WASTE OF YOUR LIFE THAT YOU CAN NEVER GET BACK!