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Reviews
Grimsby (2016)
CRUDE AND NOT FUNNY
Whatever do people think if they consider this humorous? From the beginning to about halfway through, I couldn't watch it any longer it is crude and disgusting.
The humour is so base I think the only people that found it amusing are the same people that are jobless dope smokers that spend their lives on benefits and adding nothing to society in any way I imagine.
I guess there are actual families like this in the UK. This country has so many fat lazy benefit scroungers it is embarrassing.
I did not like it or find it funny at all. I read some comments on social media that claimed this was the funniest film they had seen so I downloaded it thinking it cannot be that bad, it was and what a waste of my time.
Glad I did not have to pay for cinema tickets that would have made it far worse.
I guess they have the same sad pathetic sense of humour that many reviewers have here. Unless you need to see pathetic sad gross humour don't bother wasting your life on this drivel.
Scorpion (2014)
So Bad ....
Why has this got such a high rating? Are all the reviewers uneducated? It amazes me how anything like this can get past any sort of basic editing. The scenarios are so contrived and it takes so much other nonsense to resolve the problems. Some of which are much easily resolved via simple means. The plane cannot land? But it does fly along a very very long runway about six feet off the ground so why not just land anyway?
Anyone with an IQ would know if you wrap explosives in a hard material encasing it the bomb becomes far more efficient in what its designed to do unless its a very small device. That was not, it was about twenty blocks of C4 enough to level a city block.. However taking the detonators out of the plastic explosive (not cutting the wires) and burying the C4 under the hardening material leaving detonators on the surface would have prevented main charge from detonating most probably. BUT as they had five and half minutes I am sure some open ground was within that distance once in a vehicle to move it.
It's just so full of nonsense I wanted it to be good I need something good to watch this is not it. Gutted ...
Relax, I'm from the Future (2022)
Seriously bad?
After reading the reviews I thought I would try it out. What a joke, why has this been given such a high rating? Its so bad its simply a waste of anyone's time unless you went into the cinema to get out of the cold.
The awesome reviews must have been written by the cast members or their families. I cannot think of any other reason unless they were paid to write them.
I did not even finish watching it, honestly it was that bad.
From the start it just shows how amateur the whole production is. The credits and the titles at the start have been created by someone that does not have any idea how to do graphics, the software must have been basic and just done on a computer.
The camera work is something high school students could produce in an afternoon. It's all over the place. The storyline jumps to people that we have no idea who they are or why they are involved at all. I really dont want to waste any more time on this to be fair.
Sorry but it's just my review and my opinion.
Safe (2012)
WHY
Why is so much of this film in Chinese with no subtitles? I tried to find a decent subtitle file that applied the translation for all the Chinese in the film and there is a lot. So frustrating and annoying. Gave up watching it as had no idea what was going on half the time. I did see it on tv but missed most of it due to other commitments I don't know if the TV film had subtitles I did not get to see enough of it. I watched the film for up to thirty minutes in and yet another scene of all Chinese speaking and we have no idea of what was happening. I gave up. Is there a subtitle file out there that has all the Chinese speaking translated? I could not find one and being such a short title even searching for that was a chore. Not impressed.
Without Remorse (2021)
Really?
I must admit I thought another 'Tom Clancy' film must be worth a watch. It did not take long before I realised this is more of a politically correct stunt than a decent film. I thought it might just be me seeing it but the more I watched the more it became painfully obvious. A black female navy Seal? Seriously? All the bad guys and those with an agenda were just as noticeable...Bored with it all now...
Resident Alien (2021)
Wanted It To Be Worth Watching.
I was so excited to see this it looked like it was going to be a great series. I got through about 80% of the first episode then couldn't watch it any longer. As far as Sci Fi goes it's terrible. Why do they make aliens that clearly have a more advanced intelligence than humans? They can build advanced spacecraft capable of travelling many light years across the galaxy and yet they have the worst digits and hands possible, they could not open a canned drink let alone complete intricate engineering. Just how did they build and create the advanced electronics required? That was the first thing that disappointed me. It then went on to making the alien evil barbaric and cruel. Why? Why would an advanced species be anything like that? Major fail in my opinion.
Hard Kill (2020)
Its so bad in so many ways.
I cannot believe Bruce Willis was actually in this. The acting is not good at all. The gun battle scenes are terrible, why didn't they hire someone who can shoot or at least handle weapons to see how it's done? You cannot shield 10m from automatic weapons behind a 20mm upturned wooden table, From the fake blood to the bullet splats to the ridiculous plot it's all so bad. Sorry I was so disappointed it's terrible.
Arthur & Merlin: Knights of Camelot (2020)
Really Not Good At All
Sadly I went by the initial reviews and watched it, well I didn't actually watch it all I just couldn't. It is that bad and I have no idea how it got any stars at all... My time is far more important than wasting it watching this.
Intelligence (2020)
Seriously? We need Zero star Reviews.
How did this even get into production? It's really not good. I realise it's supposed to be a comedy so are we supposed to be amused at how bad it actually is? The references to the 'Office' are ridiculous it doesn't even come close although it tries sometimes unless they mean the US version which does have it's own admirers.
Those that have written it's 'funny' must have an American sense of humour because the humour is pathetic slapstick and the English mostly prefer more intelligent comedy. It's certainly not for me.
Pussy Kills (2017)
Diabolical
Do not usually review many as I tend to read reviews more than review titles... This is seriously bad, so bad I could not continue watching it. Not sure how it got the rating it has to be fair. Life is far too short to waste time on this ...The acting is terrible its fragmented and all over the place. The story I guess is similar to 'I spit on your grave' but this is actually worse.
Brave (2012)
Better Ending
The film is good but I found the girl annoying and a brat attitude, shame because she could have changed during the film to be a lovable character, I guess having a fifteen year old daughter myself shes at the age where everything is an argument, her attitude reminded me and the wife of our daughter many times. Hopefully and luckily they grow up and lose the attitude.
I think the story would have been so much better if the gathering had captured Mor-du in the circle of stones, Merida stops them from killing Mor-du while merida and the sons run to get the large broken stone, join it back together(like they did the tapestry) which lifts the spell from the prince, he is returned to a prince (Charming and handsome not aged obviously) and Merida and him live happily ever after....Just a thought....
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Naff
TOTALLY AGREE WITH ALL THE ONE STAR VOTES In my opinion it was awful.
Paid for IMAX Gallery and to be honest wanted my money back the cinema was great the staff excellent the film....Terrible Copied this review as it says all that I would.
I seriously must have been watching a different movie after reading some of the user reviews here. I cannot in all honesty say this is a film worth recommending, let's be honest: Bane was such a poor bad guy who mumbles all the way through the film and just keeps talking. The fight scenes, terribly acted and poorly choreographed. Christian Bale hardly seemed to be involved in the movie, "I'm here pay me". The Story, more holes than a string bag. The love interest, really?. The toys, yes seen them all before. The action sequences, long and boring. The film, 1 hour too long I'm sorry, I loved the previous two movies, but this one had nothing and gave nothing apart from Catwoman, who was 2 dimensional anyway. Let's dump poor old Bruce in an inescapable prison, with a way to escape. This was just a sorry excuse for a movie and I really was disappointed in the entire film. Note to see when they say "A must see movie" you have to avoid because it will be total rubbish.
Shame.
Donnie Darko (2001)
Really Strange
(This is why I am not a Film Critic)Sorry I didn't get it...its like abstract, I enjoy most films but this is like one of those paintings by a famous artist that looks like a four year old penguin did it and art critics are amazed,throw paint on a canvas then roll pineapples on it or something, and us 'normal' people cannot believe it sells for squillions. I personally think their synapses are completely screwed. In another human these thoughts are considered a mental illness and they get locked away. If left it gets out of hand and they kill people.
Sorry but its nonsense and people pretending to be clever like to be able to state they see what is being 'said'...yea so do I, its "look at me I am a genius,pay me for this crap"....
If you shove stuff up your nose or stick needles in your arm you will like this film, if you are like me and think murderers should die child molesters should be burned to death then watch something else. Told you I wasn't a Film Critic...