Change Your Image
Maacaw
Reviews
Eo (2022)
A movie for snobs who like things because they think it makes them artsy
There are some mildly interesting things like holding flexible mirrors around a donkey while he walks and editing all colors other than red out, or the Boston dynamics dog walking on a mirror. Other than that it's all about depressing you over how terrible humans can be. Plenty of dead animals. The people gushing over this movie remind me of those who go to a symphony and give standing ovations for every performance regardless of quality because they think it makes them cultured and artistic. We didn't finish the film and instead looked up how it ended which made me very glad we stopped where we did. Skip this one.
Deja Vu (2006)
So bad
This is the "zoom in...enhance" trope extended to over two hours. A good example of why Jerry Bruckheimer gets spoofed so often. Complete with an awful Macy Gray song over the credits. I would say it aged terribly and doesn't hold up but that would imply that it was better initially.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Poorly written, can't suspend disbelief
A miscarriage of writing, clearly put together by someone who doesn't understand the justice system or much else about life for that matter. It's soooooo long. Don't waste your time.
Mile 22 (2018)
Really, terribly bad
The whole movie is a bunch of corny Marky Mark monologues with an overarching monologue throughout as a narrative device. The movie tries to play it off by having a character call out another for it but it doesn't work.
It plays like it was written by a teenager replaying an argument in their head while in the shower and TOTALLY OWNING EVERYONE! YUSSS!! Ronda Rousey is surprisingly not bad in comparison to Wahlberg running around hamming it up every chance he gets. I gave it a few stars for the opening scene and some half decent fight scenes. Otherwise it's just difficult to watch, do not recommend.
Cosmos (2019)
Being made with no budget does not excuse terrible script
I love sci-fi, and will overlook a lot of negative to try to enjoy a flick. Unfortunately I had to start fast forwarding near the end with all the boring dialogue between characters who are impossible to relate to (surprising since I'm in the same career field as them and have shared a very similar experience as one). So much pointless and terribly manufactured drama with zero consequences.
Mild spoilers: the "great engineer" Roy who was responsible for designing a functional orbiting satellite somehow didn't account for 50% more load from an extra "system" all night long? He didn't think to include an inverter backup from the car? No external battery backup? What's with the crazy screams from the woods while they're walking the satellites? Nothing ever happens with that.
Bigger spoiler: These doctors of research who just made the single most important discovery in the history of mankind are now so worried about a ~10" telescope that they're risking losing all of their data? Instead of the chance for a good joke we get MINUTES of painfully drawn out nonsense. Just leave the damn thing near a tree and come back in a few hours. Nobody cares.
Tales from the Loop: Enemies (2020)
This one really got to me
This episode really struck a chord with me, I haven't felt this much empathy for a robot since wall-e. Something about all the different forms of abandonment just hit home. This was my favorite of the series, I really hope they produce more of these. Also make sure you check out Simon Stålenhag's work, the inspiration for this series.
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
Really bad. Over hyped and cliche
The high ratings are surprising, and I feel like it's getting rated highly specifically because it has an all Asian cast. If this was a typical Hollywood movie it certainly would have been sold to Lifetime or gone straight to DVD. Character development is seriously lacking, extra storylines have zero emotional weight. Acting is mostly poor with a few exceptions and the main plot is terribly cliche. Hard pass
The Heart, She Holler (2011)
Worst show on TV
It's hard to see how this show gets any airtime at all. It is by far the worst show I have ever seen on television. The fact that it's supposed to be funny (at least I think it is) makes it even more sad.
I have tried to enjoy it, as some adult swim shows need time to grow on me. I sat through probably 4 episodes, and didn't smirk a single time, even a little. I feel terrible for the cast, as they deserve so much better. We need more shows like Children's Hospital, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Moral Orel, and Eric Andre.
Do not waste your time on this. Unbelievably bad. If it happens to come on while you are watching adult swim, turn the TV off and find something else to do. You can thank me later.
Looper (2012)
Good movie, don't knock it because you think you understand time travel
I rarely write reviews, but felt I should give this movie the credit it deserves. I really enjoyed Looper. I was expecting another mediocre Bruce Willis action flick but got a pleasant surprise with this intriguing thriller.
I am stuck wondering how anyone (Calvin you know I'm talking about you)can honestly bash this movie "because the time travel wasn't real enough". If you don't understand how ridiculous that argument is then you shouldn't watch the movie. It won't make any sense to you. There are plenty of things wrong with the time travel concept if you analyze it, but that's because it is TIME TRAVEL... you know, jumping around instantaneously in a dimension that our brains can't understand. Time travel movies require the viewer to understand that it is fiction. So if you go into this movie expecting an explanation on how to traverse the vast eons of history, you will be disappointed.
It is a good movie that will keep you entertained, and it is one that you'll end up thinking about for days after you see it.