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Reviews
Poulets grillés: Pilote (2022)
Don't waste your precious time!
A good idea, but too caricatural characters spoil everything. The actress Marie-Armelle Deguy does too much, plays badly and makes the whole thing almost unbearable. It's a shame because Hubert Delattre and Barbara Cabrita are excellent actors. There are too many lengths and the moments that are supposed to be funny are heavy and embarrassing. The scenario is drowned in a tangle of useless scenes that do not serve the story at all. Overall, we are bored.
It is sad to see that despite the huge amount of money owned by France Télévision, the production is stubbornly producing old-fashioned series that do not reach the level of others.
When you want to please everyone, you finally please no one.
A Haunting in Venice (2023)
Slow, boring and stupid
This film has really no interest except maybe some nice shots of Venice and the pretty decor of a bedroom with a superb four poster bed. The rest is boring and historical nonsense. No, Halloween was not imported into Europe after the Second World War! This commercial festival did not invade Europe until the 1990s. The Venetians have their sublime carnival and do not care much about Halloween. The script is slow and sluggish. We lose interest in the plot very quickly and we can't wait to finish it. The dialogues drag on, the moments that want to be scary are not and the mystery is not one. A completely failed film despite a beautiful casting and beautiful scenery. We barely forget we saw it. Next!
Vier (2022)
Slow and boring. That's it.
This film is slow and boring to die from.
Nothing happens and the plot is so poor that it is difficult to get interested.
Stories of babies, pregnancies, a female cop, endless useless passages and a final that we see coming from afar. It starts as a police film, it unfolds as a documentary about a fly stuck in a spider's web and it ends in a big nothing. I still don't understand why Amazon Prime put this movie in the "suspense - horror" category because it doesn't have any suspense or horror.
Sounds like an episode of Derrick's sleepy show where an old cop takes four hours to finish a sentence. Better to take a good nap than to waste time watching this endless thing.
I Am the Night (2019)
Enough with the Black Dahlia!
This series would be almost perfect if it were just a work of fiction. Unfortunately, it presents to us as «real» the rantings of Steve Hodel whose father, Georges Hodel, would have been the killer of the famous black Dahlia (Betty Short). Let's be clear: No one knows who killed Elizabeth Short! It's a cold case. Other than that, the series is exciting and the scenes shot at Hodel's home were shot in the sublime Franklin St. House in L. A. The acting is very convincing and the realization is subtle. All the ingredients to make a good series are there, but the false claims about The Black Dahlia murder spoil everything.
Les oubliées (2007)
Parkinson's desease ?
Attracted by the subject and the high rates given to this series on IMDB, I tried to watch it. Unfortunately, the weird direction, with trembling camera at the shoulder (does the chief operator suffer from Parkinson's disease?) and the unstable close-ups decidedly blurred, very quickly gave me an ophthalmic migraine and nausea. I do not understand these totally irritating artistic choices, especially since they prejudice the script and the actors. So I listened to the show instead of watching it, like a podcast. It's absurd, I know, but I had no other choice. That's a shame because the script is great.
Un peuple et son roi (2018)
Very good historical film for connoisseurs
An excellent film about the French Revolution which is addressed to connoisseurs of this historical period without the slightest didactic pretention. Very good actors (Denis Lavant plays a more than convincing Marat and Olivier Gourmet is masterful). One deplores however the presence of Izïa Higelin (probably parachuted thanks to the name of her father) whose acting is painful and lowers the general level until the saving disappearance of her character. The scenes that take place in the assembly are perfectly documented. I would advise to read a good book on the subject before watching this film for those who do not know this historical period well, because they might lose the thread soon enough.
Backlight (2010)
Keep the script and get rid of the rest!
A good script unfortunately served by a mediocre execution. The soundtrack is painful and the music would gain in quality if it disappeared completely. We should also replace the actress who plays the role of the mother by a professional, because she plays so badly that we are close to giving up the film as soon as she talks. Remake the whole movie, keeping the script would be great!
The Canal (2014)
Quite watchable and entertaining
A pretty effective thriller even if the script uses the usual old clichés of ghost movies. I had a good time watching it and wasn't disappointed. However, I deplore the use (around 43 or 44 minutes of film) of the real photographs of Sharon Tate's crime scene after she was brutally murdered by Manson's followers. I think that is not respectful. The director could have avoided that.
Morgue (2019)
Old school horror flick
This film is certainly not a Hollywood blockbuster, but it doesn't deserve to be rated under 5. It's a pretty effective old school indie horror movie. No spectacular hightech FX, but it works quite well anyway. A little slow though. You should give it a try. You won't regret it.
Marion, 13 ans pour toujours (2016)
Not enough!
Although based on real facts, this film that wants to denounce school harassment, does so in such a watered down and politically correct way, that it completely misses the point.
Grindstone Road (2008)
Not so bad.
This film is certainly not very original, but it does not deserve to be so badly rated. It is a completely honest ghost movie. Nothing spectacular, but I wasn't bored. It will please the lovers of haunted houses.
The King's Man (2021)
Soporific and messy!
Unrelated to the previous opus, this film is particularly boring and full of historical inaccuracies that make it almost ridiculous.
Ralph Fiennes and his incomparable talent are not enough to raise the level of this disorderly screenplay movie. Beautiful sets, a good cast and a big budget invested in this "cinematographic object" far too long, which will not leave us any lasting memory.
Exactly the kind of movie you watch with a distracted eye while playing on your smartphone. A real mess!
Le manoir (2017)
To watch imperatively in French!
A slasher pastiche deliberately accumulating all the usual old clichés: A bunch of stupid characters in an old mansion, sexual allusions that would only shock puritans and dialogues deliberately absurd. Not to mention the killing, of course! Congratulations on the hilarious intervention of José Garcia! Everything is written in the second degree and it's Pretty GOOD!
The Pyramid (2014)
Because I love cats and ancient Egypt
The two writers apparently decided that there was no point in researching Egyptology before embarking on the writing of a script featuring archaeologists in an Egyptian pyramid. One of the characters claims that Bast (cat-headded goddess) would be «the guardian of the underworld» when in reality she is the protector of pregnant women. A nonsense among many others in this rather funny slasher.
The Card Counter (2021)
«Martin Scorsese presents» does not mean that it is a film by Martin Scorsese.
The script is flat like the encephalogram of a dead man. Nothing happens and we get bored hoping in vain that something finally happens. But nothing comes. Motel - Casino - Bar - Motel - Casino - Bar - Black Jack - Poker. That's it. No intrigue except a vague story of revenge that barely survives in nothingness.
One question bothers me: What did Willem Dafoe come to do in this mess? Late bills, perhaps?
Relic (2020)
The ravages of Alzeimer's disease
Nothing happens in this film. If you have shopping to do online, know that you can place all your orders on your iPad while watching this movie. You can even go for a walk without the risk of missing any interesting scene. This film is not a horror film, but a documentary fiction with symbolic claims on Alzeimer's disease. A kind of moral lesson that would say, "Take good care of your senile mom, because it will happen to you too when you are old and blah-blah-blah." Boring.
Possessor (2020)
Need to sleep ? Go for it !
This is what happens when a graduate of a movie school bets everything on aesthetics, thinking that writing and narration are secondary. Result: A film with a bad rhythm, boring as rain falls (I struggled not to fall asleep). It is unnecessarily mannered, each take wants to look so «artistic» that it borders on the ridiculous (red light, then blue, in a «so design» monochrome etc.). It's long, it's slow, it's pretentious, it's pointless. I need to take a nap.
Antlers (2021)
Forget it unless you need to fall asleep
A poorly constructed film, badly written, whose characters are empty, to such an extent that one does not care at all about what may happen to them. The story is a mass of clichés. Even the monster is random. I almost fell asleep ten times before the end, which is of course botched by a writer who was eager to end it.
The Witcher (2019)
What ever happened to Yennefer ?
Great fan of the novel as much as of the video game, I confess to being rather disappointed by the series. Despite a good script and quite successful special effects, the series lacks substance. I regret that the irreverent humour present in the original novel/game has completely disappeared to give way to a politically correct narrative. But what bothers me the most is the totally wacky choice of the casting crew regarding the iconic character of Yennefer. Why did they choose an actress devoid of charisma and not particularly pretty (even ugly) to play the sublime witch? With a prognathic chin, a big nose and an almost permanent strabismus, the Yennefer of the series does not reach the ankle of her video game alter-ego. Her soppy interpretation is also not up to the task and really lacks credibility. And that ruins everything!
Halloween Kills (2021)
Please make it stop!
If you like John Carpenter and the first Halloween movies , don't watch this poorly written nonsense. Dialogues are so stupid that they will make you laugh, and every "event" is so predictable that you'll get bored to death. The characters are so dumb that we end up wishing that they die as soon as possible to finally move on to something more entertaining. Pathetic!
Midsommar (2019)
Awesome! For a knowledgeable audience.
I think all the bad reviews were written by people who know nothing about viking traditions and Scandinavian mythology. However, this film gives enough clues for a neophyte to understand what it is about. Those who think they have watched a failed horror movie totally missed the point. Before underrating this film, they should have wondered why they did not understand anything and should read a few books to learn what a blood eagle is, what are runes, etc.
Seance (2021)
Useless and boring
Another mediocre slasher for teens. I wrote this script 10 times or more while I had a serious hangover. Too obvious, too slow, too cliche, too boring. The soundtrack is good though, even if it's obviously composed by a huge fan of Goblin.
Bon Voyage (2006)
Dumb, ridiculous and too long
First of all, I think that the director never set foot in France before shooting this film because he accumulates stupid clichés. I burst out laughing when the couple's daughter looks at the postcards for sale at the campsite and there is one representing Queen Marie-Antoinette! What a joke! And then of course, there is a 2 CV (a very rare car in France contrary to the old cliché dating from the 60s) in a gas station whose manager speaks with a false southern accent, a "French" surfer who speaks with a Quebec accent (lol)... The rest is just as grotesque. The characters act without any logic and are all perfectly stupid. This film would be a real masterpiece if all this were done on purpose to turn it into a comedy entitled: « Morons unleashed in south of France can't use their cell phones to call the cops ». Unfortunately, it's not.
Breaking News in Yuba County (2021)
Brilliant, clever, awsome dark comedy
A really good comedy about how media coverage can be absurd and how people can be indifferent. Great fun! Just ignore bad reviews, because this movie is worth to be watched. Not another stupid family comedy! Good script, good actors. I really enjoyed it!
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
Pretty cool shark movie
I don't understand the bad reviews unless some people wanted to watch a Pasolini kind of shark movie which doesn't exist! This movie is quite entertaining and sometimes even arty. I enjoyed watching it even though it's a little too much.