Change Your Image
alextchristian
Reviews
Country Crush (2016)
Utter garbage. Paint by numbers, cliche-riddled garbage.
If I could award a movie negative stars, this movie would have them all. This cliche infested, written-by-a-twelve-year-old-girl-who-watched-too-many-Hallmark-original-Christmas-movies god-awful excuse for a "movie" is a half-a**ed retelling of the Hannah Montana movie with acting so poor Hallmark went on the record to say, "Not even we could produce this level of corny crap."
Inspired by " Good Directions" by Billy Currington, a hot city girl drives into a rural town, only to need the help of the rough-around-the-edges-but-oh-so-loveable protagonist, only to go to the town hoedown where "love" ensues. This steaming pile of horse manure only gets worse, and if the writing, directing, music, cinematography, acting, and singing (ie., literally everything) had been better, maybe this could qualify as a YouTube film. But alas. This refuse exists.
Between the dead soldier brother (cliche? Check!) the ensuing 21 gun salute (cliche? Check, and occurred exactly 7 seconds sooner than I predicted aloud!) the I'm-not-in-love-with-you-i-have-a-sleazy-boyfriend followed by the oh so predictable you-belong-with-me-because-you-deserve-better-even-though-i-encouraged-you-to-cheat-on-your-boyfriend-with-me-which-doesnt-make-me-any-better Charlie Puth-esque song (cliche? Check!) and the smatherings of "We're sorry about your dead brother" (cliche? Check!) it's safe to say that this "motion picture" is so terrible that it qualifies for torturing prisoners in Guantanamo Bay.
If you choose to deliberately watch this movie, may God have mercy on your soul.