Falconeer Reviews

Mr. Smith Gets a Hustler (2002)

Authentic NYC Indie Film..

[8/10 · 5 June 2022]

Reviews complaining about the "cheapness" of this low budget film really have no business watching this really fascinating glimpse of the crime infested underbelly of New York City, circa late 90's.."Mr Smith" isn't one of these modern so-called "indie films" with a million dollar budget;it is the real deal; a movie created with little else besides talent, and a passion for the art of film-making. For someone who lived in NYC when the meat packing district was still populated by pimps and male prostitutes, this is an awesome nostalgia piece. And it should be noted that this is not a "Gay Film" at all. Although the story takes place within the "rent boy" scene, that is merely a backdrop for a crime story, and a tale of redemption. Viewers looking for a movie filled with nude guy on guy action will most likely be bitterly disillusioned with this movie. Big on character development, we are introduced to a family unit broken by crime, alcoholism, and selfishness. Actress Anna Thompson, known for many New York themed movies, plays the alcoholic mother to Bobby, who is making a living as a male escort. He works out of a seedy bar on the West Side, which is obviously a mere front for criminal activity, as there are never any customers inside. He's got a vicious pimp, who sends his sex workers to local hotels to hook up with men for cash..One night Bobby meets a strange client, Mr. Smith, an older man who doesn't want sex from the boy, and finding out who this man is in relation to Bobby is at the heart of the film. For fans of "Underground" cinema, and for those who seek out movies that focus on New York City, in a realistic way, I strongly recommend "Mr. Smith Gets A Hustler..." For fans of Hollywood trash, aka "disposable cinema," you have no business even watching a film like this; it will be utterly wasted on you...

Striptease (II) (1977)

A Rare Lost Gem...

[8/10 · 20 May 2022]

This lushly filmed melodrama is somewhat of a lost movie; unless you can find the ancient VHS tape from the elusive "Mogul" label, you simply will not be able to experience this beautiful and intelligently written film, featuring an impressive cast. Corrine Clery once again ignites the screen with that stunning body of hers, as prominently featured here as it was in "The Story of O" from two years prior. "Insanity!" however, is a more serious production, and it is actually not an "exploitation" film, despite the enormous amount of nudity on display.. Clery plays Anna, a successful actress who walks away from her career while she is at the top of her game. She is hiding from the world, and working as a glamorous exotic dancer in a local nightclub in the Canary Islands. One night she is spotted by Alan, played by the always excellent Terrance Stamp, who becomes fascinated with the beautiful Anna when he catches her sexy nightclub act. Alan recognizes Anna from her films, and feels like there is a story there, and as a washed up film director himself, she could be the inspiration he needs to launch a career comeback. Filmed as a kind of "movie within a movie," Alan invites Anna to live with him, and she begins to share her story of a tragic romance that came to a life altering end, that caused her to retreat from the world. We see Anna's story in flashbacks; Anna in Paris, with her young love, a relationship that goes bad when Anna experiences a miscarriage after her lover winds up in prison. It's all very melodramatic, with scenes of the Eiffel Tower and romantic walks through the streets of Paris, highlighted by the beautiful Francis Lai score..Of course when Paul's wife (the stunning Pilar Velazquez) arrives home from a trip, in her blue Ferrari, and finds a nude Corrine Clery shacking up in HER house, with HER man, whom she is supporting financially, she is not at all pleased. In the end, she calls upon "Daddy" to the Canary Islands to take care of the situation. Daddy turns out to be the one and only Fernando Rey, in one of his typical "dirty old rich man" portrayals, (Luis Bunuel's "Tristana") who pulls up in his Rolls Royce, with his teenage girlfriend on his arm, ready to take Anna out of the picture, leaving the playing field open for his spoiled bitch daughter. Anna turns down his offer of wealth and a place in elite society, in one of the most powerful scenes in the movie..she basically calls him a slimy pig! At the heart of the story is one man's search for the humanity that he has lost with his youth, a humanity that can only be regained through his connection with the young, and still idealistic Anna.. How this gem has not been rediscovered and restored for a bluray release, is a mystery, as it has so much going for it, such as the dream cast of cult film favorites, the abundant nudity, and beautiful Francis Lai score, and the stunning location photography. Until that time comes, that old VHS tape from Mogul can be had, for around 100 bucks...

The Unhealer (2020)

Wildy Entertaing & Original

[8/10 · 29 September 2021]

The 4.6 rating here is hysterically inaccurate, and not for the first time. The last 2 years have been abysmal for movie releases, and people should be grateful that something this entertaining and original came along. "The Unhealer" is a very well-made movie, nicely filmed in the 2;35 "scope" format, and looks like a typical Hollywood production with generous production values. It's basically the classic revenge story, with the bullied teenage boy. (the likable Elijah Nelson), getting revenge on his abusers, after he discovers that he has been given a strange power, through an Ancient Indian curse. This power basically turns the boy into a mirror, where everything that is done to his body, automatically happens to the body of his abuser. For instance if a drill goes through Kelly's knee cap, his attacker has his knees drilled instead. It sounds weird because it is...and "weird" means "different,' which is something that we NEVER see coming out of Hollywood anymore, with all the remakes, reboots and superhero junk. Sadly overlooked film, in the tradition of the "Final Destination" movies, only so much more original and intelligent, and very similar to "Chronicle" from a few years before. Fans of sci-fi and revenge movies should check it out, and ignore the low rating here, which is just strange and inaccurate.

Emanuelle Around the World (1977)

The Pinnacle of Exploitation Cinema...

[8/10 · 4 August 2021]

Of all the films in this long running series, THIS movie is truly the "jewel in the crown." Because "Emanuelle Around the World" is really filmed on location in many cities around the world, it truly has an "epic" feel. Laura Gemser, in the title role, traipses from one continent to the next, often with the blonde Karin Schubert by her side, as they pursue white slavers and attempt to bring them down. It's like an X rated "Charlie's Angels at times, and Schubert creates a memorable "tough girl" character in Cora. The thing that makes this entry in the series, the most controversial, is the astounding level of sexualized violence. This movie must have the most rape scenes of ANY movie in history. And each one is more horrific than the last. By the time the action moves to Hong Kong the rapes begin to involve German Shepards and snakes. Obviously this one is not for all tastes, but it really is a powerful film that has not only retained the ability to shock, but in this PC climate, it is even more shocking than ever. The strange thing is, there is so much beauty mixed in with the ugly violence; the travelogue style of the film is so impressive, taking the audience on a World tour of some of the most beautiful, exotic and obscure places on the planet. And of course the incomparable, exotic beauty of it's heroine, Laura Gemser, makes anything easier to endure. And look for the gorgeous Brigitte Petronio in her cameo appearance, playing agirl hading out in hotel rooms in India. The love scene between her and Gemser is subime! A million times sexier than some ugly hardcore footage. Another remarkable thing about "Emanuelle Around the World," is the impressive way it walks the fine line between soft-core and hard-core territory. Thankfully scenes of close-up penetration and ejaculation shots are left out, as that would immediately compromise the film, and make it impossible to take seriously. Joe D'Amato made the mistake of going all out hardcore with his "Emanuelle In America." And even though that film is absolutely inferior to "Around the World," it is sadly the one that gets all the attention. Take away the few minutes of ugly, poorly shot hardcore and that 45 second snuff footage at the end, you are left with a boring, lackluster film, which is surprisingly light stuff, almost comical for most of it's runtime. Not so with "Around the World,' which retains a dark, violent tone throughout. For fans of true grindhouse cinema, the uncut version of "Emanuelle Around the World" is the Holy Grail of 70's shock cinema..The series never reached these heights again. And obviously we will NEVER see anything like this movie in modern times; can you imagine THIS being made TODAY? The director might find himself in prison.

Emanuelle and the White Slave Trade (1978)

An Unearthed Exploitation Classic

[7/10 · 4 August 2021]

The quality of a film often suffers when the director decides to make it a "hardcore" feature. D'Amato's "Emanuelle In America" is a good example; remove the unappealing and artless hardcore shots and the nauseating "ejjaculation" inserts, and all that is left is a substandard, highly forgettable movie. This explains why "Emanuelle and the White Slave Trade" is, technically speaking, one of the best in the series. Without the porn angle to sell the product, D'Amato can concentrate on the important aspects of making a good movie; like a coherent and interesting story, and softcore erotic scenes that are truly artistic and extremely sexy. Anyone who finds the scenes of ugly men, "blowing their loads" on ugly bimbos, hotter, and more EROTIC than "the mechanic scene" featured in "White Slave Trade..." well, that audience shouldn't be reviewing these movies at all, because they just "don't get it..." In this long-lost entry in the Italian "Emanuelle" series, follows "Emy" Jordan, the reporter who travels to foreign lands to uncover stories too shocking for normal journalists, going to places, and dealing with people considered too dangerous for the average female reporter. Revisiting familiar territory, Emanuelle stumbles upon an international White Slavery ring while vacationing in Africa. Fans will recognize this story from both "Emanuelle In America," as well as the brutal but impressive "Emanuelle Around the World." Only this time D'Amato concentrates more on the quality, and it is recognized mostly in the writing and the introduction of some characters that are actually interesting and not simply one dimensional bodies who are there just to take off their clothes. Not that this film isn't filled with sex and nudity; it simply has more going for it than smut. Emanuelle's romantic interlude with the daughter of a foreign diplomat is really quite nice, and sexy without being exploitative, bringing to mind the girl/girl love story from the original, French "Emmanuelle" series with Sylvia Kristel. The rediscovery of this lost film is truly a great thing, and true fans of the series will be thrilled with the discovery of "Emanuelle and the White Slave trade." Those looking for the "love butter" and the "clam shots," might as well pass this one up.

Hakujitsumu (1981)

Stick With the Original

[5/10 · 23 July 2021]

This 1981 remake of the classic "pinku eiga" masterpiece from 1964, is mostly a failure. Some interesting surreal artistic moments are ruined by tons of optical "fogging" and tedious repetitiveness. Closeup shots of women's faces, moaning and whimpering, ramble on for 10 minutes while body parts are blocked out by very distracting camera effects; it's literally headache inducing. With an almost twp hour running time, the problems with "Day-Dream" could have been fixed with some serious editing. 20 minutes could easily be cut from the film, and would be a huge improvement. In many instances artistic creativity is replaced by explicit sex, as censorship laws were much more lax in 1981 than they were in 1964, when the original was made. When will filmmakers learn not to attempt remakes of excellent films; but to remake bad films that had great ideas and poor execution? Seek out the original...

Wolf (I) (2013)

Destined For Cult Status

[8/10 · 16 June 2021]

This is classic, well-recognized 'Gangster Film.." It's got all the violence, all the machismo, the objectification of women, and the anti hero, who could be a master of the world if he could stop being seduced by the criminals who are his best friends.

But "Wolf" is different, with it's stark, b&w photography, that makes even the ugliest violence look beautiful, and because of the unusual protagonist, Majid, who does really questionable things, and yet is still likable, because of this "nobility" that he has about him, that's hard to not resp0ect, and envy.

"Wolf" is about Arabs living inside a Netherlands ghetto neighborhood. They are dealing with the anti Arab racism around them on a daily basis; nobody treats them like they are wanted there, and they attract violence like a magnet. With little options available to them, it's only natural they resort to crime. But Majid's skill as a pro kickboxer could get him out, he realizes this when he finds that no opponent can remain standing when he is in the ring. Of course his friends are his "family," and in true gangster fashion, they have to screw it up for him. At the heart of this story, like all true gangster epics, is "Respect" and the need for it. Majid wants his girlfriend to respect him, even though he has zero respect for her. He thinks he can beat her into respecting him. Of course he has the respect of his little brother, who both idolizes and seems to fear his older brother. But what he really wants and needs, is the respect of his father, and the need for that respect, is Majid's downfall, as the film shows us, in a subtle, but powerful and solemn ending. I'm obsessed with this film, as I am with (the very similar "Only God Forgives"), and all the shrouded symbolism and moody, nightmarish atmosphere the two movies create. OGF, soaked in neon colors, and "Wolf," captured in bleak B&w photography. The protagonists are quiet and deadly, much like the heroes from the Italian Westerns of the 1970's. The actor who portrays Wolf, Marwan Kenzari, is a really fascinating actor as well. I have seen him in other movies, and he has some impressive range as an actor. He owns this film, with the blackness of his hair and eyes looking ferocious against the b&w film stock. I think this film will gather a cult following over the years. Being a Dutch film, it probably hasn't reached a large, international audience yet. Highly recommended.

Skin and Bone (1996)

Everett Lewis' Underground Trilogy

[8/10 · 12 June 2021]

This was the last film in a trilogy of true, underground movies made by Lewis in the 90's, on almost non-existent budgets. Ever since catching "Natural History of Parking Lots" on the Sundance channel in the mid 90's, I have been fascinated by this guys work, and anxious to see his other films. I was fortunate enough to have taped that broadcast off of Sundance which enabled me to study the film over the years. "Skin & Bones" possesses a lot of similarities to the 1990 film, such as the dark, melodramatic atmosphere, the strangeness of the editing and the actors voices that seem to echo as if they are in a large cave, and of course, it's brilliant use of stark, grainy b&w photography. One of the best, and true to life movies about male hustlers, "Skin & Bone" introduces the three main characters. All of which have very different personalities, but seem to have the same dreams of finding success and becoming someone important. B. Wyatt from "Natural History" as a character very similar to Lance, with his black leather coat and the motorcycle, and the hardened attitude; only here. As Harry, his ambition is different in that he wants to be an actor. He's in Hollywood to do this, and he's serious about it. He's just hustling to pay the bills, and to Harry it's just another acting gig, so to him it's just like rehearsing for the camera. Like any actor, he's capable of separating himself from the parts he is playing, so the job doesn't affect him..at first. But things get stranger and Harry is losing the stomach for hustling, fast. Almost out of the business, his nasty female pimp (an hysterically bad actress), puts him in charge of a young guy, new to the hustling scene. She wants Harry to "train' the kid, and him and Dean become friends. Dean is completely inexperienced and quickly gets chewed up by the scene, and when it happens, of course Harry feels responsible, and sets out to make things right, which turns out to be a tragic mistake. There is a third hustler, Billy, also new to the scene. Billy is not smart. And he gets lost in this dark world as well. And this film is "dark." One of it's strongest qualities is the photography, which captures this seedy, almost dreamlike world, so believably. This one is a lot more pessimistic, and a lot more violent that "Natural History of Parking Lots," and it does contain a surprising level of sexual sadism....beatings, stabbings and shootings, so it's hardly one of these PC, cute and safe "gay films" usually made in North America..in fact it's not specifically a "gay film" at all, but rather a film about sexually promiscuous and screwed up criminals and victims. The ending scene of "Skin & Bone" was especially powerful and sad, as well as disturbingly realistic. Everett Lewis made three very worthy films, this one, "Natural History of Parking Lots," and the lost film "Ambush of Ghosts," which never found a distributor due to it's dark subject matter and lack of mainstream qualities, and a film that I would do anything to see..but it was made between these two underground genre masterpieces, so I can imagine that it must be something very special. "Skin & Bone" is very rare these days, and dvd's have become scarce. I'm sure it must have some kind of cult following, like a lot of other films about hustling, like "Johns" and "My Own Private Idaho..." and it holds up well next to those films..

The Devil Inside Her (1977)

The Rod...

[8/10 · 30 April 2021]

One of the dirtiest, grimiest adult films of the 70's, Zebedy Colt creates the perfect story to allow his film to absolutely WALLOW in decadent perversions of every imaginable act. The young maiden who sells her soul to the Devil in exchange for the love of her sister's man, unleashes Satan into her village circa 1628, who can take on any form, and who works his way through her entire family...it has to be seen to be believed. This film is basically a string of religious blasphemies, recreating every taboo that ever existed. Bizarre, nightmarish scenes include a father stumbling upon the naked double of himself, savagely copulating with his daughter, and a scene where the devil takes on the identity of the girl's mother, who performs cunnilingus on her daughter. It will make more conservative viewers uncomfortable, and it is an uneasy watch. Whoever wrote the screenplay was very familiar with the Bible, and scenes like when the father is attacked by the hounds of Hell after breaking Satan;s spell on his daughter..are very Biblical in nature. .It's a creepy film, with a heavy atmosphere. Good performances from Zebedy and CJ Laing, and an unforgettably decadent and perverse performance by Rod Dumont, as Satan.... Dumont had an intensely sexual energy that translated well to film, and he could have been as successful as John Holmes, if he had stayed in the business. He was the perfect choice to play the Devil. "Devil Inside Her" is an undeniably well-written and well made adult feature that will be appreciated by those who like "Through the Looking Glass," a film that examines similar perversions. And don't miss Rod Dumont in Zebedy's super-creepy "Unwilling Lovers..."

White Slave (1985)

Arthouse Jungle Exploit...

[8/10 · 17 April 2021]

One of the most obscure in the "Cannibal/Jungle Adventure" genre, but certainly not for being a poor film. In fact this thing is surprisingly gorgeous, and at times romantic as well as thoughtful. The young, blonde and beautiful Catherine had been leaving England every summer since she was a little girl, spending her holidays with her adventurous parents, deep in the heart of the Amazon Jungle. On Catherine's 18th birthday her parents are savagely murdered, seemingly by an uncivilized indigenous tribe, who keep Catherine and let her live among them. A Head Hunter Warrior named. Umukai is fascinated by the girl's white skin and white hair, and wants her for his own. And even though he treats her with caring and respect, a deep hatred rages in the gut of Catherine, for this man that "butchered" her parents.

This movie is most impressive both in it's gorgeous photography, and in it's excellent writing. The story of this girl's adventure, told in flashback, is absolutely riveting. "White Slave" could have easily qualified as one of the many 'Emanuelle' films, with it's enslavement of a beautiful, naked female in the jungle. But "White Slave" aims for something higher, and succeeds. This is a very well-made jungle adventure film, part of a normally awful genre. But even with the graphic violence, it never goes too far as to be distracting to the story or cheap looking. Even the on screen animal deaths are so much less offensive, as not one creature dies by the hand of Man, but rather in battle with other species, in their own natural habitat. For instance a young leopard attacks, and devours a monkey. Although it is sad to watch, it's also utterly fascinating to behold, and this element is often seen in documentary films about Nature. :White Slave" is filmed in the Wild, untapped Amazon and should be seen as an unusually high quality "Grindhouse" feature. It possesses a strange kind of quality to it; for example, Catherine is pretty much topless throughout her ordeal, but the way it is filmed, the camera avoiding any leering breast shots, but rather films her naturally, the viewer forgets she is nude after 10 minutes. Highly recommended, but not really for the gorehounds, as they might get distracted by the serious drama at hand, while waiting for those grisly beheadings.. The new bluray print is gorgeous and is highly recommended.

Gushing Prayer: A 15-Year-Old Prostitute (1971)

Haunting Portrait of A Loss of Innocence..

[8/10 · 11 April 2021]

Although it can barely be considered a linear film, a story with a proper "beginning, middle and conclusion," "Gushing Prayer" still manages to tell a story, through avant garde visuals and plain "weirdness," a story of truly jaded youth. The four teenage friends who are bent on "beating sex," or proving that sex is something that adults place too much importance on, by way of prostituting the youngest member of their group. Yasuko claims to feel nothing, as she embarks on a surreal odyssey of cold, clinical sex with random strangers, mostly older men, and even her high school teacher, who is all too willing to assist the girl in her "experimentation." Constant voice-overs describing various teen suicides, combined with some truly eerie, bleak cinematography, lends this film a sad and emotionally hopeless feel. The photography is truly sublime, with it's bleak b/w scenes of the kids wandering through foggy landscapes, cold, abandoned beaches and city streets, always discussing the vapidity of sex and human contact. Certain scenes filmed in garish, shocking color serve to break up the dreamlike atmosphere, and the color symbolizes something perhaps too oblique to recognize. The visuals are really what make "Gushing Prayer" so special, as well as the strange feeling of melancholy that it creates, when combined with the hypnotic soundtrack, Content-wise, I suppose this can be considered the Japanese answer to Larry Clark, {"Ken Park, "Kids"), with it's commentary on sexuality among young people. But Clark's films possess NONE of the artistic flourishes and the majestic visual beauty found in this, and other Japanese films. The reviewer that claimed they were "bored" by this both astounded and saddened me...I feel sorry for people who lack the ability to leave their own reality and be swept into the kind of hypnotic netherworld that is created in films like this. "Gushing Prayer" was once nearly impossible to find until the recent bluray release, which is also extremely hard to come by. It is presented as a double feature with the equally sublime and similar film "Inflatable Sex Dolls of the Wastelands," and both films are recommended to fans of the Japanese "pinku eiga" genre, as they are true works of art.

Black Heat (1976)

Epic Drive-In Classic

[9/10 · 7 April 2021]

First off, anyone who gave THIS movie less than 6 stars really shouldn't be watching movies from this genre. "Black Heat" is one of the best films that the "Grindhouse" genre has to offer. Complete with wacky but fascinating characters, and a script so complex that it feels like three movies edited together to make one movie. There is the cop who wants bloody revenge after his partner is killed, there is the girlfriend who embarks on a self destruction trip after she loses her man, racking up a $15,000 gambling debt with some very bad people. You get the mob, running drugs and firearms from South America..so much is going on that there is not one second of film that drags. Not to mention the astounding, garish color palette featured here, from the blinding neon lights of the Las Vegas strip, to the pink nightclubs, and THOSE CLOTHES..."Black Heat" is truly an overload of the senses. The new bluray print is absolutely beautiful. Featuring edgy drama and intense violence; the scene where the debt collector crushes the guy's legs for not paying his bill was reminiscent of the scene from "The Gambler," when. Burt Young,in a similar role, trashes the guy's apartment and breaks his hand; truly gut wrenching stuff. I'm imagining the poor reviews were left by the kind of people who think "low budget" translates to "bad movie.." And people who think like that have no business watching movies like this, because this is TRUE "independent cinema," free from the Hollywood schmaltz that they have so much respect for..I'm sure if Quentin Tarantino's name was slapped onto this movie, it would suddenly be considered a masterpiece.. For those that "get it," I recommend "Black Fist," and "Massacre Mafia Style," as well as "The Hitter" starring Mr. Superfly himself, Ron O'Neal..all fine independent films, often overlooked, made with little money but with a lot of passion for the art of film making..

Dark Story of a Sex Crime: Phantom Killer (1969)

Extreme Pinku Eiga From the Master..

[8/10 · 29 March 2021]

Before discovering Koji Wakamatsu's "Sex Crime: Phantom Killer," I considered Norifumi Suzuki's "Star of David" to be the roughest and most disturbing of the "pink" genre, with it's crazed anti-hero masturbating to concentration camp photos while forcing the girls that he had imprisoned in his dungeon to urinate on themselves or engage in sex acts with dogs, before carelessly impaling them with a knife or using them as target practice..But this ultra-rare print of an early Koji Wakamatsu film has surfaced...and this one may have that movie beat. "Phantom Killer" is supposedly an early template for Wakamatsu's later film "Serial Rapist." That movie, one of the ugliest pink films of all time, is almost impossible to sit through, but "Phantom Killer" is definitely a masterpiece of nihilistic art. The teen boy riding around on his bike, observing the opposite sex through his thick glasses, studying them as if they were creatures from another world; he doesn't know how to connect with them socially; he only knows one thing; that he wants to rape them. It starts rather typically, with him as voyeur, watching from a distance, other men raping women. And this film would have us believe that men in Japan do nothing but rape women all day, because it seems to be happening everywhere. Watching others live out his fantasies is not enough for the boy, and it is not long before he is acting out his own depraved fantasies. "Phantom Killer" very quickly veers off the familiar path of the pink genre, when our anti-hero starts stabbing people to death. The tone shifts into this darker territory and the film becomes uncomfortable to watch. The violence here is graphic, and committed so casually that it feels even more twisted. Movies like "Henry: Portrait of A Serial Killer" come to mind, and this one reminded me of the film clips Alex was forced to watch in "A Clockwork Orange," with it's relentless "sex-rape-stabbing, sex-rape-stabbing" visuals playing out on the screen in quite relentless fashion. But make no mistake; this is an extremely powerful and well-made film and I think it's one of Wakamatsu's strongest efforts, even without the larger budgets that his later films had. Filmed in bleak black & white, but with sudden bursts of color during certain intense scenes, and the sudden shock of seeing bright red blood spurting forth from a black & white film, only adds to the uneasy mindset it creates. Complete with a climax that is completely unforgettable and shocking, this is definitely worth tracking down for fans of the genre. It's one of the strongest pink films of all time, especially considering that it was filmed in 1969..

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

Represents the Death of the Horror Genre

[2/10 · 27 March 2021]

... And pretty much the death of cinema in general. "Human Centipede" is the reason why I don't watch horror movies made after the late 1980's: cinema has devolved into a collection of shock value scenes, filmed artlessly and without talent or imagination. I truly believe that this celluloid abortion is nothing more than an inside joke, suggesting that people who seek out current American horror films are basically setting themselves up to eat feces, symbolically. Unless you are a young teenage boy, or have the mentality of a a person that age, you will get nothing out of this joke of a movie. Or maybe the film was made for guys who have been rejected by women all their lives, and get a kick out of watching them consuming each other's fecalities... Stuff like this makes me so grateful that there are so many films of the 70s and 80s that are there to be discovered, that I never have to resort to looking at something like this to be entertained...

The Dirty Dolls (1973)

Sad, Mostly Worthless Production

[2/10 · 8 March 2021]

This woeful movie would be totally gone and forgotten if not for the wonderful Blu Ray label Vinegar Syndrome. Normally they invest their time restoring valuable, lost cinematic gems.. But not this time.. Released as a double feature on the same disc as the infinitely superior "Things To Come," this dreadfully boring flick attempts to tell the story of a group of bad girls, who follow their male leader's instructions to rob banks and hold up jewelry stores, like the girls in the Manson family. Sounds exciting? Well it's not.. The movie mostly consists of people sitting around and talking. This wannabe porn is sandwiched between two loooooong sex scenes, each lasting for more than 10 minutes, and yet never crossing the line into hardcore territory... Yes, 20 minutes of poorly filmed softcore coupling, in a movie that's only 73 minutes long. This film is wretched. However the bluray is very expensive, due to the fact that the other movie, "Things To Come," a low budget sci-fi cross between "1984" and "Westworld" is a truly fantastic example of what could be done with a limited budget and a love for the art of filmmaking. Seek out that grindhouse classic and skip this dud..

Disconnected (1984)

A Film For Film People...

[8/10 · 24 February 2021]

Four stars...for THIS film; all the proof you need to realize the rating system here just can't be taken seriously. "Disconnected" is, for lack of a better description, a movie for people who are truly into film. It's not a movie to simply watch for entertainment, or as a distraction, but rather something to be studied for it's technique, camera angles, experimental ideas that come together to create a totally unique experience. New wave music and 80's fashions are on display, as this intriguing story that centers around a group of people that love movies and music...and sex and murder, unfolds like some nostalgic dream. The fact that the cast, both male and female, is gorgeous, doesn't hurt the production at all. Alicia works at a local video store where she rents big box movies to the locals. The store is decorated with movie posters. When she goes home to a place that is also covered with movies posters, you realize that Alicia is a big movie fan. She has an identical twin sister, Barbara Ann, who is as crazy about her sisters boyfriends as Alicia is about classic movies. One of the men sis decides to steal, is a violent, psychotic serial killer.. But things aren't as they seem, and Alicia has unknowingly invited an evil force into her home, by way of a mysterious old man, who seems homeless, and in need of a phone to call for help. That old man disappears when Alicia turns her back. She assumes he has left her house...but he hasn't. This evil presence manifests itself through the telephone, when Alicia starts being terrorized by a horrible, evil, ear splitting sound on the other end of her phone line. The connection between the serial killer and this evil force isn't explained, but the whole thing is just such a chilling and fascinating mix of horror and oblique mystery. "Disconnected" is sort of a punk rock movie, with it's music and clothing, and those night club scenes. The characters are those hip people who always seem to know the cutting edge bands and the underground music venues. Shot on a tiny budget, the gray, late Autumn scenery creates an atmospheric and unsettling world. Strangely the recent horror film "It Follows" has a very similar aesthetic to this film, and I wonder if the director of that movie is a fan of this obscure gem. The bluray restoration for "Disconnected" is a welcome addition to any fan of cult and avant garde horror, and it already goes for a hefty price on auction sites. And this film is exactly that; a film for movie collectors and serious film buffs. Casual viewers will most likely not comprehend the greatness that is this film..

Warriors of the Wasteland (1983)

Trashy, But Expertly Photographed Post Apocalyptic Film

[6/10 · 8 February 2021]

Enzo Castelleri's post-apocalyptic adventure is a cartoonish, 'Mad Max" ripoff, like many others, but this one is wildly entertaining fun, if you are in the right mood. With a dream cast of Italian exploitation royalty, including George Eastman, Venantino Venantini, Giancarlo Prete, as well as American action star Fred Williamson, all of which are equipped with futuristic weaponry and mind blowing costumes, (Williamson's black and gold leather outfit being the most awesome), and driving around in the craziest, pimped out hot-rods that were created by someone with a great creative imagination. Also in this film is child actor Giovanni Frezza, the angelic kid with the blonde hair from "House By the Cemetary," this time around he's fighting off the the evil Templars with a deadly slingshot..The Templars, lead by an intimidating George Eastman, with his white clad gang of blood thirsty Barbarians, as they travel the barren Earth,looking for caravans of people to rob for food and gasoline. Seen on the ancient VHS tapes, it was impossible to appreciate just how well-photographed this thing is, with some fantastic attention paid to camera angles and long shots; a quality not surprising, considering the director's earlier works, including "The Heroin Busters," this movie plays like a futuristic Western, a colorful battle between good guys and bad guys. Some strange moments are seen too, like an unexpected rape of Giancarlo Prete's character by George Eastman. "Warriors of the Wasteland' is not as good, or as well-written as D'Amato's "Endgame," but for fans of the genre this is definitely worth a look. Be sure to see the restored version, as the widescreen photography is so important for this movie..

The Indelicate Balance (1969)

Surprisingly Restrained Title From Joe Sarno...

[7/10 · 3 February 2021]

Those who question the talents of erotic cult film maker Joseph Sarno, should look at some of his Swedish-produced titles like this one. While watching "The Indelicate Balance" in it's original Swedish dialog you might think that you have stumbled upon a lost movie of Ingmar Bergman. Possibly his most subtle film, "The Indelicate Balance" is a study of a sexually dysfunctional family. Harold and new bride Karin arrive at his mother's home during a frigid, snow covered winter in rural Sweden. There are obvious tensions from the start, between mother Lena and daughter Ingrid, over something that took place in that house, years ago, between Ingrid and Harold.. Those familiar with this director's work will be able to guess what transpired between siblings. But what comes as a disturbing surprise, is the reason why the mother is so furious at her daughter.. Like many of his titles, Sarno chose to film "Indelicate Balance" in the winter months, giving his film a bleak and hopeless look and feel. And the snow covered forest and farmhouse look beautiful in all their frozen glory. And the winter settings also lends a claustrophobic feeling to the tale, as the characters are mostly forced indoors by the brutal weather. Sarno's equally beautiful "Seduction of Inga," was also filmed during a harsh Swedish winter, and his similarly incest themed "Daddy, Darling" was likewise filmed during Winter, this time in the city of Copenhagen, and this cold, barren style seems to be his trademark during this time. This family drama manages to retain the viewers interest, not with sex and nudity, as there is precious little of those exploitative elements to be found here, but rather with it's interesting characters and a tense feeling that the viewer just knows is leading up to some shocking conclusion. This one also features some of the finest acting in a Sarno film, and hearing the players speaking in Swedish definitely lends a feeling of authenticity and arthouse quality to this, one of Sarno's least known films. This obscurity has been made available by the video distributor "Retro Seduction dvd," and is included as a bonus film in the "Inga" Collector's edition box set that contains the two Marie Liljedahl films, "Inga," and "Seduction of "Inga," two more Swedish-produced films from Sarno, also among his best work. The difference in quality between his Swedish films, and his American movies, is extreme. Joe Sarno's output was definitely uneven in quality, and there were many titles that are awful. But when he got it right, he was capable of creating some superb genre films, "The Indelicate Balance" being one of his very best..

The Seduction of Inga (1968)

One of Sarno's Very Best...

[8/10 · 27 January 2021]

Joe Sarno was certainly an uneven director, with many of his films being a chore to sit through. But sometimes he really got it right. Those times seem to be the instances when he concentrated more on the story and the characters, then on getting all the sex scenes in. "The Seduction of Inga" scores in two ways; first the story, which is quite intriguing, and gets more mysterious as the film progresses. And of course, when there is a character like Inga, it is sure to be an enjoyable film, regardless of the story. Inga is utterly lovable in her naive innocence, her beauty, her way of talking, like a hopeful young girl, full of life and endlessly curious about everyone around her; Marie Liljedal is a true joy to watch, and to hear her deliver her lines..she just has that certain quality, Christina Lindberg had it too, Sarno really found some incredible women for his films. As far as the story goes, I was hooked from the beginning. She is "introduced" to this older man, by a somewhat shady younger guy, apparently a character from the prequel "Inga," which I am dying to see now...Inga falls for him, and he leaves her the key to his apartment, and his beautiful orange Porsche...and then just, disappears. He says he will return but he doesn't even write, leaving the 19 year old to her own devices. and of course, living in a rooming house with people her own age, she meets a boy and becomes involved. He is a rock singer in a band that plays at the local night club, where Inga soon feels the icy glare of a beautiful girl, night after night. She eventually discovers the girl is Greta, the former lover of Inga's much older gentleman. Why does the girl despise Inga so much when it was she that abandoned the older guy without explanation? And it just gets more intriguing by the minute. And when all is revealed; WOW! It is a real scandal film, fine soap opera of the highest order. I found things so intriguing that I forgot to notice the lack of sex in the movie. While there is sex and nudity, this one is quite tame for a Joseph Sarno production. But the true test of a film's strength is if it manages to hold the viewers attention with the story and the character development alone. And the backdrop of Sweden in Autumn/early Winter is also something to behold, with it's 70's brown and gold tones... and fans of movies from this era will know what I'm talking about with that..As mentioned, I look forward to the opportunity to see the first "Inga" from 1968; the black and white clips that i saw look really beautiful, and I am curious to know more about the character and her beginnings. As far as the films of Joe Sarno go, I think this one, along with "Butterflies" and "The Young Playthings" are his masterpieces. However I really didn't like his other films such as "All the Sins of Sodom" and "Abigail Leslie," and i thought "Marcie" was a terrible tease that went nowhere. Of course I have much more to see from this man. i just can't understand the low rating for this wonderful film...

.357 Magnum (1977)

True Independent Cinema

[6/10 · 20 January 2021]

The term "Independent Film" or "Indie cinema" doesn't mean today, what it meant back when filmmakers literally needed to scrounge and scramble for the funds needed to realize every young filmmaker's ultimate dream; to make an ACTUAL MOVIE. Miramax is NOT a studio that produces indie films, and it never was, even in the very beginning. This is what is so fascinating, and so important about movies like ".357 Magnum." This is a simple movie, a crime drama about assassins going after bad guys, double agents, a lot of shootouts, with the occasional glimpse of sex or nudity thrown in, It's a "buddy movie," the two buddies, one dark and the other blonde, working side by side, guns in hand and taking down the baddies. And it's all done in glorious 1970's style; those wide lapel suits, the bell bottoms. polyester jackets, big cars, bigger moustaches etc..Anyone who is into this genre knows what i am talking about, and can truly appreciate this one. Taking place around the World, however the director, with his severely limited budget, cleverly films around the San Francisco area, utilizing locales to stand in for foreign lands. For instance the scenes taking place in the Orient are filmed around San Francisco's Chinatown, and with it's Asian architecture and many Chinese signs and storefronts, this succeeds fairly well in creating the illusion. Made with little cash but a big passion for movies, ".357 Magnum" is a guaranteed good time for those who enjoy flicks like "The Amazing Mr. No Legs..." specific cinema for a specific audience..the "Midnight movie" crowd...all others should likely pass on this one..

Razza selvaggia (1980)

Ultra-Rare Italian Crime Drama From the Master

[8/10 · 20 January 2021]

The films of director Pasquale Squitieri rarely veer from the subject matter contained in "Savage Breed," although this title from 1980 is a bit more subtle than some of his other films like "The Climber," and "Corleone," and the epic "Gang War In Naples." This one is more personal, an intimate story about a family, uprooted from their home in Naples, when husband and father Mario relocates his wife and daughter to Rome, in search of work and a better life. It seems that the more cultured Italians look at the "Neopolitans" with utter disdain, and openly insult them, laughing at their dialect and their rural customs. And wife Michelina finds her life in the city, lonely and utterly miserable. "Razza selvaggia" introduces the story's anti-hero Mario, by showing the viewer his current life situation. He works in a depressing factory for little pay, and other than the local bar, there is little to occupy his time. His wife complains and he is frustrated that his 14 year old daughter is having problems reading in school, and learning the new dialect. Actor Saverio Marconi is very believable as Mario, with his ice blue eyes, reflecting the despair and the coldness of the city in winter. Things shift gears at the half hour mark, when Mario returns home to visit his old gang in Naples, in particular, his long time best friend Umberto, and surrounded by the energy of his friends he remembers what happiness feels like. But the feeling is short lived, after a night on the town with his buddy, when he learns that Umberto has become a heroin addict in his absence. An overdose lands him in the hospital, where Mario learns the extent of his friend's illness, as the doctor explains that Umberto's health has been compromised and that he will die if he doesn't break his addiction. The one million lire that it will cost to put Umberto into a clinic isn't easy to come by, and when Mario returns home to attempt to raise the funds needed to save his friend, he learns who his friends are, and who his enemies are. Things come crashing down when his wife betrays him in the worst possible way, with an action that destroys their family. Those familiar with the films of Pasquale Squitieri will recognize his way of telling a story, the family drama and the social commentary on life in Italy. There is a gangster storyline here as well, but this is not the main focus of the film. As of this writing "Savage Breed" remains one of the rarest titles of Pasquale Squitieri, with no video release available commercially. The only copy in existence is one recorded off Italian television and shared on torrent sites. I was happy to find that copy, and for the opportunity to see this great film. Definitely worth tracking down for fans of the director, and of quality Italian cinema.





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Forced Entry (1973)

Uneven Blend of Horror and Porn

[4/10 · 7 January 2021]

Having seen a number of the 70's "roughie" porn films, I believe "Forced Entry" to be a failure, in spite of it's disturbing subject matter. It's a film that could have been a genre classic, but was ruined by the ugly and boring sex scenes. A porn film that contains poorly conceived sex scenes can't be very good. Adult film Icon Harry Reems stated that "Forced Entry" was the only film he regretted making, for good reason. Had the director focused more on the psychological aspects of the story, and devoted less time to the tired, drawn out sex scenes, this would have worked. Reems starred in another roughie around this time, called "Sex Wish," and it is a million times better than "Forced Entry." The more fleshed out story, and the sex scenes, although vile,were still erotic or appealing on some level, and for this genre, that is detrimental to the film's success. Other films of this genre achieve that balance of shock value and art; creating something that is disturbing, but also well made. "Forced Entry" is just gross-out gimmicks, and the mind of anyone concerned at all with artistic quality, will begin to wander, and lose interest. Harry Reems worked with actress Laura Cannon in other movies, like the artistic "Dark Dreams," and the superb "Fleshpot On 42nd Street," and they were so enjoyable to watch. It was a bit sad to see these two in such a low brow production. This movie has one quality; Harry Reems portrayal of the Vietnam Vet, who is suffering from extreme PTSD...he's great, in an otherwise lackluster production. For those looking for extreme 70's era porn that is actually "good," rather than just shocking, check out Zebedy Colt's "Unwilling Lovers," a film that truly gets under the skin, due to intelligent writing and a director who cared about the quality of his work. Also see "Sex Wish," a film that is infinitely better than "Forced Entry.." No good movie will be a "chore to sit through..." no matter how rough it is.

The Bold and the Beautiful (1987– )

The End of an Era?

[4/10 · 30 December 2020]

The 1980's were certainly the decade of "The Soap;" Big shoulder pads, even bigger hair, and big, recognizable names. The astounding success of nighttime soaps such as "Dallas," Knots Landing," "Falcon Crest,' and of course, the biggest of them all..."Dynasty," ( the show which I believe had a big influence on "The Bold & the Beautiful," with it's super-rich, larger than life characters, the two warring families. Back then it was the Forrester's vs. the Spectra's, the two Fashion Houses constantly at war with each other, usually over stolen designs...or "stolen hearts," as members of both families just couldn't seem to stay away from each other. And what a dynamic that was! For daytime tv viewers, nothing could be more glamorous than warring Beverly Hills Fashion Houses. It was the 80's, that decade where it was not only acceptable to flaunt wealth.. it was ENCOURAGED. Everyone did it, from the truly successful to the working class who wanted to "look" rich; it was the norm. Truly different from how it is today, in a time where showing off jewelry and furs and Italian sports cars will only bring resentment, dirty looks and possibly violence. After the Reign of Spectra, it was the Spencer clan, another powerful dynasty, headed up by Bill (aka "Dollar Bill") Spencer and his beautiful daughter Caroline, who would be at the center of the typical B&B love triangle; a struggle that went on for years, between Caroline and a Miss Brooke Logan, as they fought for the affections of hot L.A. designer, Ridge Forrester. Who knew that young Brooke Logan, along with her two little sisters, Katy and Donna, would possess such power over the Forrester men...a power that would last for decades. Being poor, or "from the wrong side of the tracks,' never seemed to stop any Logan woman from entering and moving among the families of the rich and powerful; the "beautiful people" that this show is basically about. And who could forget the LEGENDARY fights between the Matriarchs of those two Fashion Houses...oh yes, "Queen Bee" Stephanie Forrester, rolling around in the mud with Sally Spectra, Queen of "knock-off" fashions...if she wasn't stealing Forrester designs, she was putting the moves on Stephanie's husband, the classy silver fox, and lead designer of the Forrester Fashion House, Eric Forrester. With their tumbles in mud and fountains, the food fights, the hair pulling and scratching, Sally & Stephanie were Crystal & Alexis all over again, and fans LOVED IT. So.....what happened???? Fast-forward 30 years, and all that is gone. The excitement, the outrageous and the unexpected; it has been replaced by the modern, uber-politically correct drivel we see today. Steffi Forrester, (raven-haired daughter of Ridge Forrester and Taylor Hayes), and Hope Logan, (blonde haired daughter of Brooke Logan and one time L'A. stud/hustler Deacon Sharpe), both work at Forrester Creations, and as can be predicted, they are in a never ending rivalry over the squeaky clean, and frankly BORING son of Bill Spencer, Liam. But this time around, there is no passion, no cut-throat fights and cruel deceptions. And sadly, this is the thing that is destroying this classic soap opera. Nice people are wonderful to know in real life, but they simply aren't interesting within the context of a soap opera world. Sure, the characters still cheat on their partners, but it is always " an accident," a terrible mistake made in the moment which causes the cheater or liar to be consumed with guilt, as we the audience, wait, and wait ........AND WAIT....for the guilty party to either come clean or to be exposed. That's basically it, the entire structure of a show that was once vibrant and electrifying. And it is understandable that it's not easy to keep it interesting with such a small cast. So the writers have attempted to liven things up by introducing new characters, but they are all so mind-numbingly boring that they become filler, something to be endured while we wait for the old cast members to appear on screen again. This show will likely come to an end, unless the creators wise up and bring back some of that excitement and crazines of years past. They need to realize that it's the offspring of the original characters who are at the helm now. These characters need to become more like their parents; Bring back "mean and calculating" and dump "nice and politically correct..." that stuff simply DOESN'T WORK in the soap opera world..

Nightmare (1981)

The KING of Slasher Films

[8/10 · 23 November 2020]

It's beyond "Maniac," it's beyond "New York Ripper," two great, intense slashers in their own right, but they don't match this one for it's sheer, terrifying visuals, and hypnotic story about a completely unhinged Madman, stalking a family down in Florida after being unwisely released from a maximum security psychiatric hospital. His doctors thought the new age treatment they gave him had cured him. It didn't..and what follows will have even the most jaded horror fans, speechless. The violence shown is so diabolically morbid, but it's so well photographed that it can't be dismissed as mere exploitation. Maybe it's because it was filmed in 1980, or maybe it was the film stock they used, but the look of the film is so majestically seedy that you can almost smell the dampness of the rundown movie theaters that dared to show this. Also this is something that could never be made today, with it's scenes involving children and extreme violence, I have to wonder how they got away with it, and if it affected the kids later in life. It even has a twist "shock ending" that will knock your socks off while explaining why everything before it took place. I wouldn't recommend viewing by young people as it's very intense. I felt very strange after watching it and I'm an adult. This is a forgotten horror masterpiece..

Uncle Tom's Cabin (1977)

Lushly Filmed Epic of the Deep South

[8/10 · 23 November 2020]

Those expecting an exploitative trash film might be surprised to find a competently made, beautifully filmed, serious look at the time of slavery in the South. Shot with a large budget, in "scope," and telling several interconnecting stories that come together in the end, Al Adamson has created quite an epic here. At the film's center is the fascinating love/hate relationship between slave trader Simon Legree and the beautiful slave Cassy, who Legree takes ownership of after buying her brother and having him run away. What I mean by love/hate is that Legree loved Cassy (in his own peculiar way) while Casey hated Legree, to the point of trying to take his life. Uncle Tom of the title is played to startling authenticity by John Kitzmuller, who gives an endearing and strong performance as the man that everyone loved and respected. There is a side story concerning the slave Napoleon, who flees from Legree and is rescued by a lovely white Southern girl, who nurses him back to health before they have a love affair. This film possesses a real feeling of authenticity, in the sets, the clothes and the songs of the time. Not really an exploitation film, with only a few moments of sexuality and nudity on screen, though some might be put off by the violence afflicted on the slaves, some of which is difficult to watch. Of course if it was an easy watch it wouldn't be very realistic, as there are some things that shouldn't be whitewashed. "Uncle Tom's Cabin" was impossible to find until recently, when a bluray became available that features a stunning, widescreen, although somewhat washed out print of this rarely seen, utterly fascinating historical document.