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Bonkster
Reviews
The Last Descent (2016)
Hits in the feels
I was a little surprised to see this movie score below at least 6.5, and my initial thought was the usual "don't make entertainment out of a real life tragedy"-remark, but it seems to be the opposite in this case. Sure I was a bit bummed by some of the technical inaccuracies as well (hole being a lot bigger etc), but when I realized that this movie is more about John's story than the rescue effort, the movie grew immensely on me. It is mostly flashbacks and conversation all in all, but it's there for a purpose; to make you feel for the main guy as opposed to just watch the technical aspects of a failed rescue mission that there are tons of videos about on Youtube.
I don't think it's cringe either, most of it is well acted and it makes the ending so much more heart wrenching. I see people here complaining about not immediately getting the little plot twist which is thoroughly explained - I personally thought that was a touching little detail.
Try to think of it as Titanic - there's more to the story than a ship sinking in the Atlantic, but if you really just want to see the technical aspects of the sinking, maybe you should watch a doc instead. This is a very emotionally driven movie, and if you're not an emotional viewer it might not be for you.
The Uninvited (2009)
Unbelievable crap
So I was sitting alone in my flat and thought what the heck I'll go rent a horror movie. The uninvited, from the producers of the ring, had an interesting cover and proclaimed to have a nerve tickling story with a shocking ending. An impossible story with an ending that more or less tweaked my nose for watching the movie, would have been a more accurate description.
What we get is a story where a girl (Anna) is released from some kind of asylum after having to deal with her mothers tragic death. She comes home to find that her dad's new girlfriend is her late mothers nurse (Rachael). In some kind of dreamlike state, Anna is confronted by her dead mother, who tells her that Rachael killed her, as if that would surprise anyone. Most of the rest of the movie then consists of Anna, with the help of her sister (who we later find out only exists in her head, although interacting perfectly with the rest of the family), trying to prove Rachaels guilt. It's nothing but a blurry string of scenes where it's hard to know whether Anna is hallucinating (which she does frequently) or if things are actually happening. "Zapping" sound effects are used, for instance when lights are turned on, to make the viewer jump in their seat, in a manor that sometimes makes them laughable. So this is actually not a creepy movie, it's more of a jumper. I jumped a few times, but not nearly as many as I imagine the creators wanted, and mostly because I was sitting in a dark room with the volume turned up.
Even though this was one of the most predictable movies I've seen in a long time, I really wondered how they would tie this mess up in the end. Sadly enough, they didn't. The whole movie turns at the end in a way that might shock a 14year old schoolgirl getting straight F's hanging out with her friends too much. My personal reaction was more or less "aw FFS".
So would I recommend this piece of youknowwhat? Maybe to viewers who fit the earlier given description, but that's about it. There is no way that anyone who watches a movie with a little sense of criticism, could get any amusement, except for the occasional sarcastic comment, from watching this. I can honestly say the only thing that caught my eye was the cute actress who played Anna, because I recognized her from some other movie but I couldn't remember which. Of course it was the little girl from Ghost Ship (thanks IMDb), which isn't a masterpiece either, but at least that story, in comparison to this mess, could be considered watertight...
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
Unbelievable crap
This movie is basically about a stupid American family traveling through Nevada or whatever. They stop at a gas station and are suggested a shortcut. Of course they're stupid enough to take the shortcut and this is when I knew that the rest of the movie was going to suck. The rest of it contains of "they killed our women and one of our dogs, now we are going to kill them in every way it's possible to kill a human"... And I doubt I've ever seen the "Hero of the movie" get so beat up like the "hero" in THHE... He should have died like 15 times or so. Totally ridiculous... Maybe they should have aimed for something more fragile than his empty head... Some may find it entertaining but I think the creators just tried to cover up the bad story with gore and disturbing scenes.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
Someone forgot to include a story
I watched this movie hoping it would be a sequel to the original movie, but found out that it was just Blair Witch ->2<-. No further investigation into the witch, just a couple of new teenagers...
I think the movie was lousy, to say it all in one word. There is no tension building up through the movie, it's more like unexpected short cuts that make you jump a little, and that's a very cheap way to scare people. Like in most other horror movies, a lot of things happens without explanation. But if there never is an explanation it's not frightening, it's just frustrating. A horror movie should build up tension and in the end you get to know. Like in "The Ring", and watching BW2 was like waiting for the girl to come out of the TV, but she never did. The whole movie through, it feels like something is missing. Part from the tension, it's a story. I also got the feeling that the creators thought that nudity and sex would be just as good as a story. Several times the nudity feels very unnecessary with the actors walking around naked for, as it seems, no particular reason. Probably just a way to make the movie interesting in some way ;).
The plot didn't make much sense to me and the end didn't make any sense at all. I can see that it's all the work of the Blair Witch but you never really get to know that in a good way, and I guess that's supposed to be the scary part but judging from the many low grades given to the movie, many people think like me - it isn't! You maybe don't want all the facts handed to you but there can't be too much left to you own imagination either.
Cause for Concern (2002)
Funny and cute
Get ready to meet the most unique set of cast you have ever seen. Bling-bling, Rufus, Donny and many more! They all have one thing in common - they're homeless (bums) and they are here to take us for a heck of a ride! Except for all the fighting, which wouldn't necessarily have to be a part of the movie, Bumfights really is a beautiful and remarkable story. It shows to each and all of us that homeless peoples have strong personalities, hopes and dreams just like any other human being. There is a lot of stunts preformed by the bums, and I am aware that many viewers claim that the bums where abused, but I think we all know that they had a choice. I honestly think they had a good time with the kids who made the movie. In the movie there is also some kind of spokesman for the homeless that says that these kids are of more use to the homeless than the U.S. well fare system. I wonder what all the viewers who hate this movie, think would do the bums lives happier. A plate of hot food? A blanket? Just because someone buys them a meal, they wont be out of their misery. It is obvious, when you watch the movie, that the bums had a killer time together with the creators and that provides so much more than some food.
As for the fighting - ignore it if you don't like it. I skipped most of the fighting parts. And the creators should not be blamed for the fighting, they didn't provoke it, they just taped it. It's nothing to get all upset about anyway, it always look more gruesome than it is. It's even hard for a Pro-boxer to knock someone out with some swings, so don't take it too serious.
Well as I said in the beginning, it's almost a story of love. I certainly wont forget these people. Not because I feel sorry for them, it's because they offered a big piece of themselves in front of the camera, and most of all: they got the damn job done!!