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Reviews
Bumperkleef (2019)
Probably the worst movie I've ever seen
Everything about this movie is just really bad. The acting is TERRIBLE, I seriously don't understand anyone who argues the opposite. The main character was particularly unconvincing and the main bad guy was just a dumb old man. The child actors were also horrible but I suppose that is just standard in dutch movies now. This script must've been written by a toddler because it is somehow both extremely muddled and transparent in its message. Everyone talking like robots didn't help either.
The first 45 minutes of this movie is probably the most I've ever been bored while watching a film. Nothing happens until nothing happens and then nothing happens again. The protagonist downplaying what is going on to his family and essentially endangering them every step of the way didn't help either.
The story does not make even come close to making sense. Essentially, the bad guy is constantly doing the exact same thing which was his reason for attacking the family. WHY. I get that that is supposed to be a character trait of his, but I refuse to believe that he doesn't see the irony in what he is doing.
I swear the protagonist won his driver's license at a town fair or something because this man has zero comprehension of traffic or even basic human behaviour.
1/10.
Vals (2019)
Almost a parody
This movie is genuinely awful. There are few words to describe this abomination. The only real way to truly understand how bad this is, is by watching it yourself. There are zero redeemable qualities. The plot is cliché, the characters are bland and predictable, the acting is stale and robotic, the scenery is unoriginal and way too dark (seriously, even outside during the day it's dark).
The only scary part in this movie is how scarily funny it is. I was laughing constantly to all the 'jumpscares' and 'plot twists'. I'm seriously considering making a video review just to share with the world how bad it is. Just take any scene from this film and add in a laugh-track and it'd be a comedy instantly.