Change Your Image
rundee
Reviews
Love's Enduring Promise (2004)
One of the sappiest, religiously motivated, trashy and catastrophically acted movies I've ever seen
I was really baffled after watching this movie by how high this movie is ranked here. January Jones acts as if she needs to vomit because of the silly dumb lines that were written for her, and who can blame her?
They usually say that child actors outplay adults, but don't worry: Here the kids are so annoyingly sweet and artificial like Hummel figurines.
This storyline is so dramatically stupid, historically inaccurate and foreseeable that it's hard to believe anyone enjoyed watching it. The only explanation I have, is the blunt rubbing in of Christian propaganda. I guess the silly storyline of a Christian family talking about their Christian values is enough to make evangelicals happy. No brain needed.
Wow, this was bad... It actually was so bad, it was near to ironic...
Run & Jump (2013)
Nice camera work, good acting, thorough character study, catholic ending
The other reviews already described it: It's an artsy, independent, European movie. If you liked sunshine cleaning, Juno and/or little miss sunshine, you'll probably like this one too, although it has no comic scenes in it. And you won't see the hard stuff of brain-seizures, so it's a family-friendly movie. But what really, really bugged me was the catholic, conservative, misogynistic ending. Off course there was no room to even think about staying altogether, off course there had to be a decision made and also off course it had to be made without the handicapped, but for him. And off course the woman is happy to relinquish, because that's the way they are.
I find this very sad, because all of the (state) money for the movie is wasted, if you're not able to make a movie that challenges the audience to dream or think in a new way or question their way of thinking. A solution would have been an open end, but that was also not done here. With this ending it's more of a cheesy lifetime-movie...
Petunia (2012)
Sad, sad film on so many levels
What will you learn of this movie?
a) Sex addiction can be cured if you get together with a woman that is plump. Plump means every girl with actual thighs qualifies. Because you will be so grossed out, that you'll never think of sex again. No, that is not ironic, just wait until the last scene of the movie, if you can.
b)If you're dieting and talking about it, it's because you have a problem, not because society will treat you like the plump girl above. The lesson is to be skinny and pretend to eat anyways.
c) Psychiatrists or therapists don't know what they talk about. Their methods are bullshit and they're horrible mothers.
d)If your marriage is down the drains you can restart it by taking Viagra.
e)Older women are hilariously vapid and ridiculous with their fillers and such. So same lesson here as in b) Look young and skinny and do everything for it, but DO NOT tell or you are to be made fun of.
f) If you do not want to have a kid or give it up, you're despicable and do not deserve or are able to give love! You must be portrayed as a drinking, heartless whore! What else could you be?
There are other characters, but they are too boring to even comment on them.
Basically this is a movie about how much the director or writer looks down on women.
Lawless (2012)
This movie is a waste of time and actually quite annoying
First off, I read a lot of reviews about this movie, because I could not understand the 7, because I really thought it's bad. Roger Ebert explains it all and there's only one thing I needed to add to the one review I can fully agree with. (You can read his review when you click on the reviews critics button right on top of the page right to the movie-poster. He's on no.1 there)
What I wanna add is this: - God, was I annoyed by the stupidity of the character Shia LaBeef played. It seemed as if the director was thinking "I cannot come up with something that would make this movie worthwhile so why not let the kid do something stupid again, at least then something is happening". So this movie became a story around someone doing foolish things so that everyone around him gets into trouble or killed or severely harmed. Me and my fellow movie-watcher stopped the film several times and groaned with pain "Why isn't he dead already, somebody kill him, PLEASE"
- Two minor things:
Tom Hardys voice sounded like Banes of "The dark knight does something, cannot recall what right now" he was shooting shortly after that. It was so deep it seemed comical in this movie here.
Speaking of comical: Guy Pearces character. It's so overly dramatic, hyperbolic and like a villain in a comic book that it's kind of sad how bad a director can be. (And yet you still really, really want him to shoot the stupid kid portrayed by Shia LaBeef to get it over with already).
So this movie gets 1 for Mia Wasikowska, 1 for Gary Oldman (not that you seem him much, but hey, I like him, I'm biased) and 1 for the great cars that clearly play the main role in this movie.