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Reviews
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: A Shadow of the Past (2022)
Not much to rave about or to root for especially if you're called names for criticism
What do you get if you have the rights to the appendices of a book? You get something familiar but without the substance without the writing without the poetry. You get characters that dont act like themselves. Its empty and stupid sounding like a rock and a boats described differences. Then you get actors whom you have never heard off saying its the story Tolkien shouldve or wouldve told maybe if he was braindamaged. Not only that but when a shows actors have to preach about how thier show has diverse characters and if you criticise the story they call you a phobe it wont indear me to you. The Wire and Treme have been shows that were diverse and they didnt preach and they were made decades ago. Its weird and lies.
This is like Zack Snyder writing Tolkien but if he couldnt even do a cool action sequence either. The acting left me cold and it was a slog to get through. This is an awful start at worst and a bland start at best. Amazon are hoping to make it about how phobic people whom don't like it are and that isn't really a successful way to gain new fans unless they are activists or make the old ones root for you.
I'm hoping this wont be as bad as Obi Wan, Resident Evil and Moon Knight but these two episodes were dire and hopeless. You want some recommendations for other better shows instead. Here you go dear reader: Kotaro Lives Alone, Peaky Blinders, Better Call Saul, Spy x Family, Severance, Demon Slayer, Stranger Things (Season 1&4 only), Barry, Tokyo Vice, The Legend of Vox Machina, All of Us are Dead, Only Murders in the Building (Season 2 is much better), DOTA: Dragons Blood, We Own This City, Pachinko, Reacher, Prehistoric Planet, The Terminal List and Atlanta. Id rather recommend The Sandman over this and the only good episodes were 5 and 6 the rest were not good.
Love, Death & Robots: Kill Team Kill (2022)
Whomever wrote this must like The Predator rather than Predator.
There's a difference between Predator and predator 4 if you can't see it you will probably like this. The comedy is childish the story nonexistent a poor episode.
Interceptor (2022)
Makes Under Siege look like Die Hard
#mepoo action thriller about an army interceptor soldier who was molested by her commanding officer rejoining service and then fighting idiot terrorists who let her kill their team mates when they have her father hostage and only tell her near the end of the movie. So cringe and embarrassing I couldn't believe what I was watching the music was stupid to. Why would they live stream a terrorists attack in New York city on huge screens the people would run it would be pandemonium they wouldn't stand there watching bombs coming towards them. Makes Steven Seagals Under Siege look like Die Hard. Action was good in areas but a tiny woman beating up man mountains is as unbelievable as you can get.
Dawn of the Beast (2021)
I died laughing at the ending
So it's evil dead meats wendigo meets Bigfoot. If you told me Max Landis wrote this whilst he was ah hem on hiatus I would've said probably. When spoiler Bigfoot fights the wendigo monsters and dubstep played over it I laughed so hard. One of the worst films of the year.
Loki: Glorious Purpose (2021)
Loki - From Genocidal Maniac to Punch Bag Loser
The writing is weak, this TVA has all this power but can be easily duped. Loki is the joke in this series how does he go from killing lots of people and tries to take over the World to let's talk about my feelings with Owen Wilson in a room whilst he cries. You took a great villain and turned him into a joke. Replace Loki with Thanos how stupid with that be but imagine him as he's about to snap his fingers in infinity war and he goes to the TVA and he is striped and questioned then he cries about his life. You've subverted a villain now he's weak and pathetic and you later replace him with a female Thanks. Ridiculous I know but here we are. People who think that this is good are crazy all the women are overpowered and at times Loki is completely sidelined for the strong independent and underwriten women characters. This is bland. I mean they made him sort of an anti hero/villain after avengers assemble but making him a victim in this this who's also a hero is also strange same with having every woman beat him up. It's embarrassing.
True Justice: Black Magic (2011)
The dumbest cop squad ever
Why did they write the cops so dumb especially when they know a serial killer is on the loose targeting blonde women. Some cringy scenes with Seagal being loved by all the women which is in every one of his films. This series that also was turned into a movie series was both baffling, bland and unintentionally funny. It's at least competently made unlike alot of seagals projects. The other actors are TV actors but can at least act to some degree. George Takai is in it why? No Idea. Seagal needs to hire some good writers his films from 2000 onwards have been awful.
Vanquish (2021)
Green everywhere it's pee soup vision and Ruby Rose again. Nightmare fuel.
Ruby Rose is the female Steven Seagal but somehow worse at least watching Seagal is funny she's just a brick wall. The film is usual one last job hitman film but nothing works action is barely existent it's shot by someone that's a poor filmmaker weird experimental shots it reminded me of the worst of CW television then there's the acting which ranges from bad to worse. This is straight to TV movie crap. You thought Cosmic sin and Sia was bad this year this could be worse. Shot through Blindingly bright green soup gels one minute the next it's shot normally. This film should not exist but it does. It's pointless.
Army of the Dead (2021)
And I would walk 6 days with a zombie bite from Las Vegas to Utah and I would walk 6 days more to be that non zombie man shambling to your door DADADA!!!!
Wow where to begin the first few minutes two soldiers transporting cargo get into an accident at night because they don't notice the lights of a car that has veered off into their lane. Most moronic scene I have seen but it gets worse. The origin of the virus is Area 51 how original and dumb. Everyone bar 2 characters have sense 1 doesn't want to heist a Casino surrounded by zombies the other Tig says they should let the guy who's watching them all they should let him die but they don't so they get betrayed and almost all die. There's a credit intro that's good sort of a mini story about the zombie wars which is way more interesting than a slow moving 2hour 30 minute heist movie. The pace is very slow in this. The tone is messy funny one minute serious the next. Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead did it way better this does not. One character a Mexican guy is setup to be able to kill 3 zombies with one shot which we see in a social media video but at no point saves his female friend who is setup by a character that none of the group trust. The Mexican chap has a rifle and watches his female friend attacked by zombies barely surviving and he lets her die. He stand there and watches at no point is the betrayal brought up again or her death. The characters are stupid in this film. It takes a good hour plus for some action and then it's over. It's not a good action film, comedy film or zombie film. The heist itself is boring the traps are easily sprung by a zombie very dull. The super zombies seem to just let all their zombies die but only care when the queen is killed then they attack. I got bored mid way there was barely any character development and when they snuffed it you felt nothing. Dave is good I'm getting to like him from Blade runner to Guardians he is underated as an actor but the story ruins all his work in this film. It's very formulaic. By the end you see one character survives a nuke walks carrying millions in 3 bags of cash through nuclear fallout from Las Vegas to Utah Airport mostly on foot which is 136 hours then gets in a plane gets in the air and finally notices he's been bitten but hasn't turned into a zombie. Every other bit person turns in minutes. Snyder stop writing stop making films you make Uwe Bill look like Kubrick you are an embarrassment and so are your fart sniffing fans. You're the Homer Simpson of filmmakers.
Captain Marvel (2019)
My name...is Carol lol I died laughing.
So bad it's good sadly not. She says, "Hello intelligence," just like Team America she's so bland the puppets had better delivery. This movie ruined Nirvana I'm glad Cobain was not around to see. Carol has the charisma of Charles Manson. I liked the shape shifter guys but hated the Nick Fury eye origin subplot what a joke. Why'd they make Carol so unlikeable? Maybe they didn't know. This made Catwoman look like a Classic.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
I liked the nightmare scenes I want to see that film not this generic story
So we got here finally to see Zack Snyder's vision, fans were appeased which is not something that happens these days fans are usually called names for not liking things by mainstream media, which is stupid. Not a huge fan of Snyder's DCEU personally I believe it was rushed. I don't understand why we couldn't get the solo movies first and lead up to justice league. You got a man of steel movie then straight to Batman v superman which has both a Doomsday and death of superman stories within it, very rushed. All those three storylines need a solo movie, perhaps a trilogy. Zack Snyder is not subtle with his themes it was very obvious the Jesus and falling stuff it became a little cringe but admirable attempts at something. I've been continuously waiting for them to lead to an injustice story as this Superman is very flawed and doesn't seem to care about people in Metropolis when he flies into buildings because his father was a bad role model in his teaching of Clark. But fans say Superman is a good person which I believe he isn't. Batman was a dumb detective in BVS to which I didn't like but he at least did some good fighting lol. We even got a justice league forming story in batman v superman that's how bloated that film was and it failed at enticing audiences for more.
Now onto the main event we have a justice League movie which we saw in 2017 but now we got one of the most irritating schizophrenic soundtracks ever made terrible music unlike the junkie XL BVS one which was great this one is irritating women screaming and moaning why? No idea, ask Zack he's the visionary. We have more character development I suppose but it's not enough for you to feel anything for cyborg when he loses his dad and that was already in the trailer that he passed so no surprise. This whole film felt like Avengers Assemble a 9 year old film that Snyder cut fans will probably hate being compared to and it's not even an improvement. I'm not a Marvel fan boy but there universe works better than DCEU it's broken and embarrassing. Hear we have loads of origin back stories shoved into a four hour film that has the generic villain with new dlc skin fighting to get mother boxes. It's the same movie just more action which doesn't improve the story it just stretches it out. Batman is supposed to be the best version of batman but what detective work does he do not much if any but he beats up people in a cool way great so just Snyder brains huh. I only want a smart story why is this so hard the animated DC movies make better sense watch those Flashpoint is an example. The nightmare scenes are short and good I hope I see that culminate into something but not in this film which is disappointing. It would have been nice to see how batman became the way he did but that's not going to happen. This movie left me feeling completely deflated, disappointed and underwhelmed I didn't find it much different both films had an identity crisis this one was long and in pan and scan lol. Masterpiece has been thrown which baffles me this is a bad movie the second time around iand it's longer.
Music (2021)
Nominated for two Golden Globes? What?
Terrible performances I can't believe Kate Hudson was nominated for best actor and this film was nominated for best comedy and musical as it fails at everything. It's terribly unfunny when it wants to be and hilariously offensive when it doesn't want to be. This is one of the worst films of the year by a longshot. It's basically Simple Jack but somehow worse.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Wow I guess consent is one sided only
So wonder women 84 told us women don't need to get the consent of men when they have sex with them. This film tells us that Leslie Jones character a woman didn't need to ask for consent from Eddie Murphy's character when having sex with them. Are these screw ups and double standards the problem of western society and it's pandering to feminists, yeah probably they are hypocrites. This film is as funny as not asking for consent is. Trevor Noah and Leslie Jones is in this if that isn't a red flag to how awful this is I don't know what is. The start had white people are evil and privileged trope that keeps going around in a film about black royalty who's more privileged than rich people of colour. No self awareness in this film. The Princess is oppressed more than the poor guy from Queens? This film is written by an idiot. The film is about female empowerment these women are so empowered they can't commit crimes and are above consent. The original characters are sidelined for the new ones. The pacing is terrible. I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy.
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
I've noticed a theme in these new sequels and remakes have you? Lol
The theme is get a franchise where the main important characters are boys or men and replace them with girls and women. Star wars Force Awakens replace Luke Skywalker
with female Rey, Ghostbusterss 2016 replaced all male characters with females, Terminator dark fate replaced John Conner as a boy with a Mexican girl, Bill and Ted replace their boys into girls who save the world not their fathers even, Oceans 8 had a gender swap to so did Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in the form of Hustle then you have Ebola Holmes, Sherlock's sister. These gender swap movies are always terrible inferior to the source joylessly made cash grabs, then you got High Fidelity with a female lead and not John Cusack, even the 4th karate kid was a woman and now a new equalizer movie with Queen Latifa and not Denzel Washington.
I'm just getting bored with it if you want strong female characters why don't you write new interesting ones all you do with this gender swap is make women look bad and you make the men look great your ideology of gender equity is having the opposite reaction. This 3rd film should have never of happened just another corporate sequel soulless pointless. The daughters are not going to replace them in more sequels but they were heroes in this with no effort they didn't even know how to play or write music seems like more of the theme I mentioned. The women don't work for their power it's just a given. Very boring to watch. The humour of the first two films is barely there.
I found the sets and design very ugly or bland it didn't have the flair of the 2nd film and to have them dealing with first stages of divorce couples therapy was stupid like every film seems to revel in failed relationships and marriages seems odd to me like it's post modern cool to be talking about divorce in a bill and ted film. Thought these films were supposed to be fun this was just unfunny and pointless. But hey the two boys that they gender swapped to girls wrote and sang the song that saved the planet not bill and ted lol. It's what we've always wanted. With that song they probably started World War 3.
Crown Vic (2019)
A Cop parody film No bodycams, every cop in this does a crime
You want to see a good police movie watch end of watch or a series watch Southland. This however is a joke, this film is so over the top with crazy psychotic cops that obviously should have a psychiatrist it makes no sense that they can be cops they are lunatics the internal investigations would be all over them. They strip suspects naked and threaten them, beat them half to death outside stores silhouetted by car lights yet no cop wears bodycams which were installed in 2014 this movie is 2019. They ever murder. most of the cops sound and act either depressed or crazy. Big Evil in End of watch was a cop killer with a gang he was more calm than Detective van zandt. The first half has no citizens with cameras out when cops are at your door or outside especially in America where they aim phones at the cops in order to defend themselves. The dialogue and music was all over the place. The dialogue sounded cliche and parody like someone that knows nothing about police or how they act but then throw in police procedure after they break all the rules. The music can be atmospheric one minuite and old fashioned TV 60s show the next. What I don't get is why you have two masked armed robbers in the beginning and then for the remainder of the film you show groups of two. You see two cops then you see two bad detectives almost like they're setting up a twist that some of the cops might be the robbers but the robbers do something stupid at the end and die and that's it's. Unsatisfactory ending. I didn't like it.
Capone (2020)
You fight like a younger man with no farting held back, admirable yet mistaken
Hey fonse what do you think of the Capone movie?
Fonse: (craps himself)
Yeah me too.
Tones all over the place serious one minute with dementia and his violent past, next he's crapping himself and dancing to Wizard of Oz his grunts are funny his moans a symphony. It does feel like a parody most of the film. It would've been nice to see a biopic of his life leading to this but I guess this will have to do. Maybe it's the perfect ending for a villain. The Tommy gun bit was good and I admire the attempt. This is the anti Scarface movie.
Dreamkatcher (2020)
Worst Camerawork I've ever seen was the DP drunk?
The Camera was drunk throughout out the movie it needs an intervention. Lin Shaye and Radha Mitchell are better than this. Poor story same old same old horror film with little horror. The camera work almost made it unwatchable. The director hasn't done much but really needs to go back to Film School. Terrible dialogue had one white female character talk about being offended by a minorities culture being reappropriated. Marxist rubbish get again. If white people got offended everytime anything of their culture was reappropriated minorities wouldn't have toilets.
Mulan (2020)
Disney thanked Communist party whilst it held people in re-education camps
Disgusting. You thought Cuties was gross this movie was made near the camps where political prisoners are sent. The movie is bland on its own but with that in mind it makes it worse. A film about a woman being liberated whilst in reality people are being oppressed as the filmmakers play make believe. Sums up 2020.
Artemis Fowl (2020)
Lead actor makes wood look like Marlon Brando.
My original review was deleted it was up 1 day then down today. I've heard the books are good I haven't read them will check them out someday but not because of this abomination. Kenneth Branaghs worst film wastes Colin Farrell and has two planks of teenage wood act with each other, Gad who plays Mulch is irritating but all the other characters are somewhat worse. I was told it was fantasy sci-fi detective series but the detective bit was missing here. The story about exposing fairies was embarrassingly bad it all looks like your typical young adult fantasy film but without a good story, charisma, chemistry and magic the threat is not there it reminded me of wrinkle in time and the failed Golden Compass movie but worse even a bit like Jupiter ascending but worse which is crazy. It's all very bland and forgettable. This is up there with The Last Days of American Crime, Brahms, The Grudge, Gretel & Hansel and Birds of Prey for worst film of 2020.
21 Years: Quentin Tarantino (2019)
Poor doc nothing new some idiotic interviews
Oh man I am a fan of his movies I don't dislike any of his films but this doc was a real boring, weakly made love in and unintentionally funny. You get barely nothing about his early life and what you get about his movies is fleating the director would rather focus on what their impact was on the actors and stunt people. Zoe bell saying Tarantinos Death proof is a feminist movie made me laugh as I've never seen so many hot women in provocative positions in a movie especially when it elicits the male gaze I don't think she knows anything about feminism. Half the girls are murdered brutally in close up, or their feet are licked or they are left to abusers to abuse but some girls get revenge. Kurt Russell character is not your average man he kills women with cars he's a maniac not realistic. It's an exploitation film why sell an exploitation film as social justice and its director as a fighter for women's rights it's so cringe and creepy if you look at the man. Hey remember when he chokes Diane Kruger in Inglorious? Remember when he said Roman Polanskis victim loved it and he stupidly let Uma Thurman do a stunt that left her injured? Next they say Harvey Weinstein was mean? Wow great insight anything else? Then it goes on about equality? Rich actors and famous people talking about equality of rich actors are you serious? This is half a movie featurette you get on dvds serving nothing new. If you watched the special features on reservoir dogs and onwards you pretty much know all the info already. All you get in this is buttock kissing, terrible animation and interviews that talk about social justice. It's probably a product of the times.
Star Trek: Picard: Nepenthe (2020)
Soap Trek, weak characters, ruined heroes, convoluted story
I started it so I will finish it. I don't watch to much TV as of late as some shows go on forever 22 episodes a season for some and with no end in sight stop watching Supernatural, Criminal minds, Arrow, Flash etc. I got bored with some, it got worse in terms of writing so I will watch short series like Chernobyl, The Boys, Mindhunters, The Mandalorian etc as they are under 10 episodes mostly. This Picard series only has 10 episodes so wanted to give it a shot but it is so dumbed down, the story is predicable, weak characterization, the motivations for characters are weak why does Picard love this girl. I don't remember Picard being in love with Data or children for that matter but they retain that to make him more about the feels rather than about maintaining any consistency as Picard was a great mediator between warring factions hear he starts fights that leave people beheaded. Picards new ship has forgettable characters that make STD characters look good which is insane to me. It ruins logical characters turns them into killers like 7 who is some ridiculous space ranger which I laughed out loud when I heard, federation is full of angry bigoted powerful women which is also unintentionally funny. The whole series feels like a weird episode of TNG where they are stuck in Bizarro universe like they are in the Nexus. The data daughter story sounds like an idea from a fake fan that doesn't know how to tell the story so drags it for 10 episodes. The irony of this series is it made me rewatch Next Generation again which is 20+ episodes a season so it has made me rethink my whole short season series are quick and we'll written and tell a story well without any pointless episodes. However Picard is a one episode story dragged out in a 10 episode season. This episode has Riker and Diana but Riker sounded like Frakes more than Riker and Diana talked down to Picard which was uncharacteristic but hey who cares about the lore right. This was more of the same stupid new characters barely acting or over acting. This is getting long in the tooth. The guy with the sword has no character why's he there? I didn't like STD. Discovery was bad weird sex scenes, mediocre stories or plane bad chemistry between actors loads of explosions no ideas no brain. That being said I'd rather watch STD than this. Pains me to say. Please no more.
Dracula (2020)
Marvel's Dracula: Dead and Loving it in Little Britain
This reminded me of the spoof Dead and Loving it meets BBCs Jekyll if Dracula was modelled on David Walliams through a Guy Richie cockney lens and lots of cringy lines like, "I'm your worst nightmare I'm a woman with a crucifix," or as Dracula shapeshifts from Wolf to his human form, "Don't know about you ladies but I've always loved a bit of fur." There are drops of feminism and idealising the pasts setting for a modern progressive audience but that's, no pun intended alot of white noise at this point in TV and film land. The tone is all of the place to much humour ruins any tension and the horror is by the numbers weak for a film about a blood sucker there's even a baby vampire it's pure shlock. Then the last episode it goes serious for some reason with a bunch of new characters that have had no character development it's awful. Moffet and the other guy are a parody at this point and overrated in terms of writing they write things like Sherlock into the ground with series 3-4 or they copy from themselves like Jekyll with this series especially with part 3.
The mini series first part focuses on the Nun aka Helsing (there is an animated series called Hellsing which is better and a female Hellsing series which is awful so this is unoriginal at this point if they went for progressive points) and Harker (Keanu reeves was better lol yes I said that this actor was forgettable) mostly and barely Dracula or his origins it flips from a what happened interviewer and interviewee first part that had stupid jokes, a nun that hates God, the actor that plays Harker is playing it straight whilst the nun and Dracula are in a comedy. The nuns bad accent is grating to and the convent has no character development so come the conclusion of the episode there is no pathos. The Dracula actor could have been frightening but they resort to him telling idiotic modern awkward jokes.
Part 2 was a bit better the ships setting was isolated but it's characters were a bit on the dull side and they seemed dumb not knowing who was the killer when he looks like a killer, they could have sold it better. You meet some characters that are just cannon fodder and some that they try to add depth to but don't or can't be bothered to. Yet there is also no fear to be had or pathos for the bodies that build up no dread comes from it the revelation of what is in cabin number 9 is good but most of the episode didn't make me care when Dracula is right there telling jokes and being the detective. They really murdered the book and loved doing it I gather.
Part 3 it's modern day and yes Gerard Butler played a modern day Dracula it was awful just like this. Dracula escapes capture then gets captured by mercenaries and scientists that want to study him then he gets a lawyer who releases him makes no sense wouldn't Dracula sue for kidnapping he also killed a bunch of people would they get police to arrest him no this is la la land logic we just want to get to the feels. We are introduced to Lucy and Jack as young people in a club then she is aroused by Dracula The nuns ancester talks to her ancestor by ancestor mental skype. God just writing what happens just makes me think these writers are idiots or they are trolling BBC viewers. They try to make it a smart series and subvert your expectations by the end but by the time you get there you are numb. Lucy becomes a vampire and it goes serious for 20 minutes why for a character we barely know which the series did not develop. Harker kills Lucy in this and he leaves. Then the nun shames Dracula at the end with the Sun? she shows him the sun and he doesn't burn it was all psychosomatics like he's Melvin Udhall or something. So he's dumber for 500 years of Sun placebo? He doesn't once try to burn another experimental vampire with the sun. All through the series he creates vampire experiments. Is this a joke. Then Romeo and Juliet ending? He kills himself by drinking the Hellsing ancestors blood as she is dying. 500 years has led to this: Dracula kills himself Voluntarily? Wow just wow. This is first draft to the highest degree, absolute rushed 1st draft rubbish. Makes GOT series 8 look like Breaking Bad.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
It's fan service to fans of the sequel trilogy
You know the bit in last jedi where Luke is a completely different character? which I would have been fine with if they had shown how he became that in a movie rather than told me about it, but it's easier to tell rather than show for hack writers to write, well this whole movie is summed is skipping character development and story. Its dummed up when Poe light speed jumps repeatedly in the Millennium Falcon to different locations because it looks cool. It skips any plot that makes sense creates more holes and ruins Gangster Palpatine he has pickled cloned Snokes in jars why? No idea let's pass it. It passes any showing of how these characters changed and what their purpose was in the first place, it someone retcons last jedi which is hilarious but shows how they are making up things as they go along, it has both to much exposition and then doesn't explain or show enough, Palpatines plan is stupid, even Rey's a murderer in this an overpowered Mary Sue God that left me dead inside. I'm sure the people who love this film haven't even seen or like the Original Trilogy because they did the same arc with Vader being saved by Luke but in this the morale and logic is idiotic and they ruin it in this film, if Luke murdered Vader then brought him back to life then he jumped away Return of the Jedi would have been worse. Your telling me this is what it's all been leading to 3 trilogies, Hux is a mole? What a joke that's like saying Tarkin was a mole in A New Hope absolutely ridiculous. People say it has memorable quotes, I don't remember hearing any apparently it's special effects are great it left me apathetic and it should be called A New Hopeless. The story is an embarrassment a sideshow joke and whenever some idiot says Star Wars is for children I say does Pepper Pig have decapitations? Does Postman Pat have planets destroyed by weapons of mass destruction killing 100s of millions of lifeforms? are people set on fire or burned into smoking skeletons in Frozen are children killed in Dumbo? So use your brain people don't be a zombie. This makes Spiderman 3 and Batman Vs Superman look restrained, smart, streamlined less bloated and make more sense. If last jedi killed star wars Rise of Skywalker is the wake but a Weekend at Bernie's style wake where they take the corpse of Star Wars to different locations and into adventures, whilst fans scream "Stop, Star Wars is already dead." This film was awful.
6 Underground (2019)
Terrible music and contradicting plot aside it's fun at least
Turn your brain off Michael Bay is going to drop everything on your face. The characters have some depth if all their moralising is thrown away when they hit and kill pedestrians and blow everything up to get one dictator. Revolution sponsored by a Rum company not as much product placement as many Bay films but it is funny when Studios do movies about Revolutions whilst they sponsor companies. They're are pretty women and Ryan Reynolds is a parody of himself at this point. some plot holes We are ghosts, yet the billionaire that says this is photographed and the doctor has photos and a file pretty terrible ghosts really The story has terrible modern music soundtrack that sounds like everything else in dance and electro hip hop right out of fast and furious I half expected Vin Diesel to pop talking about "We're family" but they have that in the plot which is amusing. It's mindless enjoyable forgettable crap full of slow
Marriage Story (2019)
Two unlikeable people and their unlikeable kid get a divorce
In short Marriage has been destroyed by Divorce courts its the destroyer of Worlds but hey it's fashionable trendy loco and you wonder why there are incels and big pharma is rich by selling loads of anti-anxiety meds to kids from broken homes and parents have them to. Kramer Vs Kramer 2: the squeakquel revenge of the fallen judgement day etc. The father is the playwright, director stage company head honcho dude and the mother is the failed movie actor star of the plays. They both want big careers but have a kid it's one of those movies well done in areas. The lovey dovey actor stuff in this is both funny and cringe maybe that's the point. They are after all special. Man why were all the characters so unlikeable even the kid was a mothered little you know what, however he came off like the selfish parents that made him that way getting everything he wants. I looked at reviews such as "these people are privileged and white" which is racist in many ways, so black and brown people can't be privileged and successful huh?yeah I get what you are in trying to be woke you look worse. These people worked hard and have made money and get grants the mother may have well off parents most people in film do, black and brown people also get born into privilege and work to attain it so don't throw around that stale 2016 buzzword it's a trope in life now and a cliché and it shows a very narrow view of life. Also isn't Adam Driver Jewish? All people of any race can be privileged and narcissistic, go to Hollywood. I both liked and hated this film it made the father seem like a clichéd idiot that can't even pick what he wants to eat on a menu to the mother being an alcoholic that overtly mother's the son. It's almost 2d in its depiction of marriage and mothers and fathers yet they both want successful careers at the expense of their son yet they obviously love him. Then it would be 3d in its depiction of parents as they have honest reactions that they give each other as the divorce heats up that is fueled by divorce lawyers and the system which is very predatory and pantomimish, almost turning the parents and divorce into jerry springer characters. The feminist angle in this is funny that the female lawyer espoused that mothers are held up to a higher standard than father's seeing how I've seen women get away with smashing a glass in a man's throat with a "just grow up" from the judge as they do no time. No, women have no privelege. Most father's get screwed in divorce court to have a female lawyer spout out all that jargon about mother's being held to a higher standard almost had me fooled. Linda Hunt as the lawyer was good would rather of had a drama about Ray Liota Vs Linda Hunt divorce lawyer satire maybe? Make it happen Netflix. At times this movie had music that felt like it was in another movie like As good as it gets but this was not a happy ending it made no sense that your wife still loves you but she is dating someone else? I mean the reading of the letter left me thinking the mother actor was a lunatic that she would do things contrary to her beliefs then she confesses that she understands why her husband loved his work so much and neglected her because she has become him at the end lol making her look like a hypocrite. I think the Mother just wanted back on that carrousel that women go on in their 20s but without the reality. It also seemed as if the director took side mostly with the wife making her almost perfect and her problems were not focused on enough in the movie. neither of the characters had any self awareness either which is a writing problem these days. It had mixed messages to be honest you know when Patrick Bateman says,"this confession has meant nothing" in American Psycho? I felt that at the end that the directors confession about marriage meant nothing. No new information was found. I felt jipped out of a profound message that it was just some pretentious socialites complaining about life whilst off screen some homeless guy fights a rat over a slice of pizza. They should have added that guy into the mix. Overrated but at least better than most Netflix movies which are shocking bland.
Dumbo (2019)
Tim Burton is trolling 2019 Disney with their own money
Somewhat a hollow remake/sequel with the cool mouse replaced with two kids that can't act and Dumbo as the side character in his own story. We see evil deals with emotionless Dreamland owner (Keaton) that wants to make a profit from children's dreams maybe Burton hates Disney's corporate crap shoot of studio executives today or maybe Disney himself. No stalk intro or drunk Dumbo just focus on the circus which is a tad boring. Dumbo looks great he's doing his job he's cute but all those terribly written characters and bad performances left me cold. I don't know how they messed up Dumbo but they did. However the ending made me think that Tim Burton made the film to mock Disney as Dreamland burns down I swear he was trolling the Corporation and probably the audience as this is another remake soulless cash grab and they mostly all make money I don't think this one did though but the parallels between Dreamland and Disneyland are there and him showing it being burned down by its owner says it all. I definitely got The Last Jedi vibe about this movie were Rian Johnson trolled Star Wars fans I believe Burton did with Disney and it's fans. I do hope this isn't the future for movies as we also have woke filmmakers using emotional blackmail to sell movies and calling audiences names if they dont see the film or criticize it (Charlie's Angels 2019, Ocean's 8, Ghostbusters, Men in black international even critics were called racist for not liking Black Panther) wokeness is not monetizable Comic industries try it and fail, people are put off being talked down to or mocked. Cinemas are losing money more either way people would rather stay at home to. I watched the original Dumbo before this and it's much better. Please Disney make some original movies you bought Pixar use there talented creators to make original films. I mean isn't that why you bought them as Disney movies at the time were terrible.