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samanthagiavia
Reviews
Altered Carbon (2018)
It gets better towards the end.
I wasn't so so into this series at first but halfway into the story it really picks up throwing twist and turns at you. To say the least this is a show you that requires you pay attention to detail.
The Titan (2018)
Terrible casting choices
When your movie stars Piper Chapman you've lost me. How to take a movie seriously when you can't even take the characters seriously. This has the usual cliche of military folks and science experiments gone wrong. If it had a different cast it might of been a more favorable movie. Characters you don't care about played by actors you don't care about turns into a movie you don't care about. Would of been more interesting if they just gave the lead to Missandei instead of the boring guy with the annoying wife and kid.
The Mummy (2017)
I thought this was supposed to be a bad movie?
It goes to show how easily people can be told what to think. I never got into the previous mummy movies they seemed to cartoonish. This version was a lot more enjoyable to watch. The story was good, the special effects were great and it left you wanting to see what would happen next in the story. There really isn't a reason to dislike the movie other than expecting it to be something else. It's about a Princess that uses magic to gain power for her and her lover but she is killed in the process and then her tomb is unearthed and she comes back to complete the ritual and be reunited with her lover the classic mummy story. As a fan of old and new "monster" movies I can say that I enjoyed the few hints this movie threw even caught notice of the "Creature form the black lagoons" hand. Monster movies like these are niche as it is and most people probably don't even know what the monster squad is. If you're not into these types of monster movies you probably won't enjoy it. I would say the criticism for this movie has been much undeserved.
The Shape of Water (2017)
Slow, boring, depressing, racists you know a usual award winning movie.
These monster movies or whatever you call them should be fun and enjoyable to watch. This movie was slow, boring, depressing at times, subtly racists and what was the point? Basically it's set in 50's with a strong emphasis on the white male patriarchal society. Everyone but the white mail is a second class citizen. There's a water creature involved but it's like he almost takes a back seat to everything else going on in the movie. I don't even care about the nudity but it makes you wonder what is the point, Octavia Spencer plays her usual Hollywood role of fat black sassy woman and an honestly a better movie would of been about her falling in love with the sea creature. It's just a really strange weird moving mixing in elements of stereotypes and racism and sexism (since the women in this movie are secretary's or stay at home wives or "the help", the black men are docile and sub servant, and the white men are seen as all powerful except Dimitri who is Russian, and there's a gay painter who has cats and likes show tunes. I mean stick to one script what is this movie trying to be? I was so distracted by all the other stuff in the movie you can't even enjoy the "love story" I guess it was trying to be. A weird movie in my book right up there with other movies I hated like Watchmen.
Berlin Syndrome (2017)
This is a bad relationship drama and it's a very slow one that has no pay off
I just told you what this movie was to save anyone else watching this the time. By the movies description you might expect to see a suspense,thriller or even horror movie. Berlin Syndrome is none of those. I assure you the only person being tortured in this film is the viewer.
The movie goes along at a snails pace and the constant slow motion scenes with the violin music doesn't help. It just reminds me that I should of picked something better to watch.
The redeeming part of the movie is Theresa Palmer. The bad part of the movie are the annoying decisions her character makes. I won't say much since I want to keep this review spoiler free but the movie just doesn't do enough of anything.
Theresa Palmer's role is to play the dumbest woman in the world who for some reason cannot figure out how to escape an apartment or fend off her kidnapper when she pretty much is left at home alone days on end with nothing to do but think about escaping. I think any woman would of thrown a hot pot of boiling water on the kidnapper and made a run for it or maybe just hit him over the head with something heavy. There's scenes in the movie when you think that will happen because it should happen but it doesn't. This is a movie where you watch a character make dumb decision after dumb decision and all you can say to yourself is WHY!?!.
The Berlin Syndrome part or whatever she becomes dependent on her kidnapper if it's not obvious by the title and description but why is the question. He doesn't torture her enough to make her fear him and be compliant and he doesn't talk enough to brain wash her. The plot just seems to move along with little actually driving it.
He's interested in her I guess because she corrects his bad English? and she's interested in him because??? He's a foreign man and she's in a foreign land looking for an exciting experience?
I guess it's possible the way it went down in the movie she trusted him before knowing him but everything after that makes no sense. I won't even address the ending where another character decides to do everything but what a normal person would in that situation just for the sake of the dramatic plot.
I guess I should just leave it at that. If you're into slow love stories like the kind on Lifetime where the guy turns out to be a psycho or something than this is EXACTLY like those just with a bigger budget.
If you were a poor sap expecting to watch an exciting movie that's maybe well I dunno interesting this certainly is not that movie.
The Bad Batch (2016)
liked the cast and part of the story didn't like the plot.
To sum this movie up it's different. The main character Suzuki what's her face is pleasing to the eye. You have Kal Drogo being Kal Drogo I guess. Never understand why this guy plays characters with strange dialogue. Keanu Reeves, and I didn't even realize it was Jim Carrey. I mean the movie has all the elements but the story revolves around a little girl that I clearly could care less about. She's not even a likable character but the plot just circles around her and those "find the child" type of movies are always the worst. I mean name one movie about saving or finding a kid that's good. I mean I can only think of 1 and that's Terminator 2 and that's because that movie didn't suck. I give this movie 6 stars because I like the atmosphere, the cast, it was shot well but the plot... was it ever terrible. I mean stick to the basics of desert wasteland. Controlling the water or the fuel or whatever resource people need to survive throw in the bad guy in control of it all and then the heroine trying to stop them and free the people so they can have access to said resource without being slaves. I mean that's every futuristic desert wasteland story this one should of just stuck to that and it would of been a good movie.
Instead we get a movie about a kid you don't care about and a dumb ending that makes no sense.
The Ritual (2017)
Nothing new, predictable, boring and pointless.
You can always tell horror movie fans from regular movie watches. We're the ones not giving this raving reviews. The entire time I watched this move I thought it was a work of Eduardo Sánchez one of the minds behind "The Blair witch Project". The monster in this movie looked almost like the monster at the end of "Lovely Molly" and that movie also had some strange theme with Deers and Trees.
"The Ritual" has the lost in the woods story line. Where a group of friend go hiking/camping whatever and get lost in some mysterious woods but in this movie they find a cabin with strange ritual stuff in it and later find themselves being stalked by some sort of forest creature. That has the power of illusion.
Well that little paragraph sounded more interesting than it was actually executed. It goes more like a group of friends spend time arguing in the woods when they become lost. (Typical)
The group is mixed up of the complainer, the know it all mercenary woodsman, some random guy whose obviously there to get killed off first and the main character. They walk and they walk and they walk in the woods and they complain and they argue and they argue. (We've seen this in every lost in the wilderness movie it and it's been done to death although I will say I did like that movie where the couple gets lost and the guy gets eaten by a bear after they get in an argument I think it was called "Backcountry".) So if you get the jest of it the characters you barely get to know them aside from them arguing with each other and therefore you don't have a reason to care what happens to them.
What does happen in the movie is pretty much the Blair witch with strange ritualistic symbols, the group members having strange behavior or whatever after sleeping in the cabin. A majority of the movie plays out like the Blair Witch except you actually get to see the monster but not too well since it's mostly hidden in darkness.
The creature for the duration of the movie is only sound and all you hear are its shrieks and noises while it picks off the group 1 by 1 for whatever reason it's never explained. It doesn't eat them it guts them and puts them in trees.
3/4's into the film and finally the story picks up and there's a village of strange people that worship this creature. The movie becomes WICKER MAN. at this point. Except the creature is real and actually takes the villagers offerings of people. There is one thing though it marks people it values as worthy of worshiping it and won't kill them as long as the chosen bow to it.
The story gets annoying at this point. There's a clean space to tell a back story or any story like why are all these people living in the middle of no where? Why do they worship the creature and how did they all get there? Can they ever leave the woods? All we know is that they all have marks on their chest. There's also a random scene and how can I forget this scene. The main character is captured to be sacrificed or converted to their religion or whatever and he breaks free. When he breaks free he goes to the worshiping area of the place they're holding him at and there are corpses sitting in the room like it's a church. The head scratcher is that the corpses are alive and they talk in whispers and shrieks. WHAT? WHY? & HUH? it's never explained what that room is or why there are corpses in there or why the corpses are alive somewhat.
You would think in typical horror twist action that the congregation of corpses would be the villagers and the villagers are actually ghost but they're not. The Villagers are seen running about after their church of corpses is burnt by the main character. The creature reappears and attacks one of the villagers that was kneeling to it. This made no sense when the same villager told the main character that if you kneel to it that it won't hurt you. Guess that went out the window quickly she gets killed.
The man character escapes fires a shot at the creature it chases him and gropes him or something it didn't look too kosher, then the main character attacks the creature runs out the woods to the safety zone and screams and yells at the creature showing his fierceness and that he won. Then a car is seen driving in the background (an Uber to pick up up?) to symbolize that the main character made it to safety I guess and then end story.
Crap crap crap!
I thought maybe I missed something in this movie. Maybe this movie was like "Mr. Babadook" and the creature in this was to symbolize something deep and meaningful like "Regret" or "Remorse" and the main character over came it in the end. That would sound great except nothing the monster does would fit with that theme.
I also forgot the other running theme. The main character's friend was killed while he hid behind a shelf and was too afraid to rush in and help his friend. So the rest of the group blames him for the guy dying. Yeah whatever. This was dumbest plot idea to balance this movie around. First of all the guys friend was outnumbered 3 to 1 with one guy holding a knife, one a bat and the other guy in the distance. There was nothing the main character could have done except get himself killed also but they seem to run it into the ground that he didn't bother to help his friend and hid instead.
3/10 for this movie. Unoriginal, Characters you don't care about, annoying plot that doesn't explain anything, a monster that's makes as little sense as the rest of the movie and the overall result of me feeling like I wasted my time watching this move.
All I See Is You (2016)
Good plot idea but terrible movie.
This movie is like a a blind version of 50 shades of gray with a bad marriage story thrown in it. The story sounds better on paper than it does on film. A married visually impaired woman (she's not completely blind) has an operation and when she can see again her personality changes to becoming pretty much a club tramp and then she cheats on her husband and ends up getting pregnant.
The husband in the film loves his wife and wants to have a child with her. He's boring but he's a devoted businessman and he's devoted to his wife. He doesn't like doing things that are too wild and prefers to play it safe. His wife on the other hand likes to let herself loose but she can't see so she can only do but so much since she has to depend on her square of a husband. There's a scene where they go dancing and she's having fun acting wild but the husband thinks it's stupid and ruins her fun.
There's another scene where she's trying to have "adventurous" sex with him and he's not into it and it spoils her fun. It's obvious his wife was always a club tramp and wild but being blind made her tame. Once she can see again her wild side comes back out and her husband is now the bad guy holding her back from being her. Now here's the thing. His wife doesn't work, she doesn't pay bills, and she certainly didn't pay for some expensive operation to get her sight back.
Her husband does everything for her and she repays him by treating him like crap once she can see again and then going out and cheating on him and getting pregnant and not even telling him that the baby isn't his (oh but he knows it's not) but he plays along because he loves her so much.
The movie makes the husband seem like the villian holding her back from being the real her. They even have him doing something stupid like tampering with her eye medicine so that she goes blind again. Yeah that was terrible but on the scale of cheating AND getting pregnant AND not telling her husband the baby isn't his that's a minor infraction.
Besides he only did it because he wanted her back to the woman he feel in love with and not the rude bar tramp that she became. Long story short the ending is the big reveal he ends up killing himself and she ends up having the other guys baby and also she can see her husbands trick didn't work.
GREAT MOVIE ENDING!
She has a kid and lives happily ever after probably living off his life insurance policy and he's dead because his wife was a cheating tramp and he made the mistake of marrying/ever loving her.
THIS MOVIE SUCKED!