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Reviews
The Titan (2018)
A classic tragedy in three acts.
Act 1: The Earth is apparently doomed, so a bunch of soldiers and their hot wives are moved to paradise, where they all get to live in luxurious homes on a beautiful island while a scientist experiments on them.
Act 2: Experiments continue, the protagonists wife develops a real knack for dragging her kid into disturbing situations that will scar him for life. The world continues to become uninhabitable, to the point that attractive women have resorted to tending to beautiful gardens in their fine white linen pants and jogging on nature trails on the beach. All hope seems to be lost.
Act 3: The protagonist has been genetically mutated into a cat/frog/bat/fish (Marvel wishes they though of this) thing and his fellow science experiment buddies all freak out and get shot. His wife makes sure their kid sees most of it. He's pretty tough now. Incompetence prevails and somehow cat/frog/bat/fish man gets launched into space and onto a frozen moon, where he will die alone (flying around hungry) for nothing, as his wife and PTSD suffering kid stare wistfully at his place in the stars from their recently acquired island villa.
The only conclusion I can draw is that the husband was the real threat to Earth and they managed to send him to die on Titan, saving the planet.
2036 Origin Unknown (2018)
Maybe the AI was right?
If humanity can produce a movie this stupid, perhaps we don't deserve to live.