What an embarrassment! Yet another Royal Nonesuch. Actors, indeed, almost anyone except the director and editors can be forgiven for being involved with this ridiculous dog of a movie because they have little idea about how bad it is going to scan when it comes out of the cutting room.
What's wrong with it is that it stretches credibility until the movie becomes pathetic and laughable. Need specifics? Well for one, imagine a dwarf impersonating Frodo Baggins every day for five years in a high security private school by simultaneously a) single-handedly applying prosthetic makeup to himself good enough to fool all the students, administrators, teachers and secret service agents for five years running and b) being an top-notch hot-shot impeccable empathetic computer science teacher.
Imagine he does all this so he can kidnap one student from the class, for the sole purpose of tricking a second student from the very same class to expose himself to a second completely different, but wholly ad hoc, drive by and snatch kidnap plot.
He seems to be a complete loser except for pulling this plan off, for which he has no apparent motive, and appears to have a million dollars worth of security equipment stashed in his apartment. Oh, and he has a yacht. When James Bond went up against Specter, the Specter gadgets were always unbelievable but, because it was a big well-healed outfit, it was possible to suspend disbelief, but a loser wearing buck teeth and a wig---come on.
Or how about the explosive charge the kidnappee happens to find hidden behind the intercom face plate in her otherwise featureless cell, padded like the confinement room in an insane asylum.
And that's just for starters. I kept expecting Martians to teleport into the inside of the police revolvers and sabotage the firing pins--at least we were spared that!
What's wrong with it is that it stretches credibility until the movie becomes pathetic and laughable. Need specifics? Well for one, imagine a dwarf impersonating Frodo Baggins every day for five years in a high security private school by simultaneously a) single-handedly applying prosthetic makeup to himself good enough to fool all the students, administrators, teachers and secret service agents for five years running and b) being an top-notch hot-shot impeccable empathetic computer science teacher.
Imagine he does all this so he can kidnap one student from the class, for the sole purpose of tricking a second student from the very same class to expose himself to a second completely different, but wholly ad hoc, drive by and snatch kidnap plot.
He seems to be a complete loser except for pulling this plan off, for which he has no apparent motive, and appears to have a million dollars worth of security equipment stashed in his apartment. Oh, and he has a yacht. When James Bond went up against Specter, the Specter gadgets were always unbelievable but, because it was a big well-healed outfit, it was possible to suspend disbelief, but a loser wearing buck teeth and a wig---come on.
Or how about the explosive charge the kidnappee happens to find hidden behind the intercom face plate in her otherwise featureless cell, padded like the confinement room in an insane asylum.
And that's just for starters. I kept expecting Martians to teleport into the inside of the police revolvers and sabotage the firing pins--at least we were spared that!
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