JasonXIX Reviews

Scream VI (2023)

Scream? More like Groan

[5/10 · 23 September 2023]

The thing that's so irritating about these last two Scream movies is the hypocrisy.

They make a point of criticizing certain horror movie cliches, which is fine because self awareness is part of the franchise. But then they shamelessly use other horror movie cliches whenever it suits the narrative.

There are instances of people wandering through dark alleys, loud jump scares, false scares, and of course all the characters make stupid decisions.

To be fair, I am guilty of making some stupid decisions too. I have now watched five Scream sequels.

At this point, the Scream franchise has turned into the exact thing Wes Craven was making fun of in the first film.

Glass Onion (2022)

Another Idiot Boy Genius

[8/10 · 11 January 2023]

"His dock doesn't float. His wonder fuel is a disaster. His grasp of disruption theory is remedial at best. He didn't design the puzzle boxes. He didn't write the mystery. Like everyone in the world, I assumed Miles Bron was a complicated genius. But why? Look into the clear centre of this glass onion. Miles Bron is an idiot!

Basically an allegory for Zuckerberg, Musk, Rogan, Trump, and every other public figure and social media influencer the general public looks to for inspiration as 'geniuses'.

Time after time, these people openly show us that they are idiots, yet they continue to have sycophant followers who support them.

Glass Onion is an entertaining little 'Who Done It?" movie, with a lot to say about our current society where the "truth" now seems to be subjective opinion.

Halloween Ends (2022)

Halloween Ends: A New Beginning

[7/10 · 17 October 2022]

Fans will be unhappy that Michael Myers is not featured more, but after the last disaster that was "Halloween Kills", I'm not sure what is left to do with Michael Myers.

The main problem with a character like Myers is that he is only scary when he is an unknown shape and boogeyman. The more we know about him, the less effective he becomes. This severely limits the type of stories and plots you can put the character in.

This movie is similar in concept to Friday the 13th part V: A New Beginning, and Jason Goes to Hell. Both of those movies tried to do something different with Jason Voorhees, and both failed.

Considering this is now the 13th film in the Halloween franchise, David Gordon Green made a brave decision to change things up a bit. A better option would be to simply stop making Halloween movies. Halloween (1978) is still the best, and tells you all you need to know about Michael Myers.

But don't worry, if you love 'The Shape', just wait a few years for the next mindless reboot.

The Worst Person in the World (2021)

A Character Study on Selfishness

[8/10 · 19 June 2022]

As a millennial, this film hit pretty close to home. Julie is a great representation of most people my age. Selfish narcissists that always put themselves first, and believe the world should revolve around them.

All the people in Julie's life are basically nothing more than a means to and end. What can these people teach me about myself before I discard them?

It's telling that Julie dropped out of medical school. Because as a physician, she would actually have to care about her patients and put other people before herself.

Even though the characters aren't very likable, this is still a worthwhile film. The character depictions are an accurate portrayal of life the modern 'self-care' age.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Horror Fans Deserve Better

[4/10 · 19 February 2022]

Tobe Hooper's 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' is a landmark film of the 1970s, and one of the most important horror films ever made.

David Blue Garcia's 2022 version is the exact opposite.

I'm sure the writers meeting went something like this: "Hey that Halloween 2018 sequel made a ton of money. Let's just copy that."

So like Halloween, this movie is a direct sequel to the original. That means Leatherface would now be close to 80 years old. And for some reason, the character is suddenly invincible like Michael Meyers. Shotgun blasts do nothing.

Halloween also brought back the Laurie Strode character, so naturally the writers of this movie brought back the Sally Hardesty character with a new actress (she was played by Marilyn Burns in the original movie). And then literally just discarded her character like garbage.

Marilyn deserves better. Tobe deserves better. And we the fans deserve better.

Don't Look Up (2021)

Not Mckay's Best.

[7/10 · 1 February 2022]

This was too much Anchorman 2, when it needed to be more The Big Short.

The humor is too obvious, and in a way insulting to the viewer. So the movie doesn't work as a satire, but tolerable if viewed as a screwball comedy.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Not better than Ghostbusters 2

[7/10 · 20 November 2021]

Worth a watch. Ghostbusters: Afterlife has plenty of references to the past, but it is mainly focused on the future. This is basically a 'passing the torch' movie with the actual Ghostbusters getting about 5 minutes of actual screen time.

As far as sequels go, this movie gave me a much better appreciation for Ghostbusters 2 (1989) and how the magic of the original cast can never be replicated.

Halloween Kills (2021)

Please Kill This Franchise

[6/10 · 17 October 2021]

'Halloween Kills' is the second movie in a planned trilogy, and it shows. All this movie does is add 105 pointless minutes to a story that doesn't even need to be told. Michael kills a bunch of people, so at least the movie lives up to its title.

'Halloween Ends' will be released next year, and at this point, who cares? Michael Myers has already won. The body count over the last two movies is so comically high, he's probably already killed half the town of Haddonfield. So even if they actually 'kill' Michael in the next movie, it's basically too little, too late.

Everything you need to know about Michael Myers was already revealed in the original Halloween (1978). These sequels add nothing to the lore.

The Big Chill (1983)

"I don't like talking about my past as much as you guys do"

[9/10 · 6 July 2021]

In recent times, The Big Chill has been relegated to 'Boomer' movie status. Probably due to the time it was made, the soundtrack, and the rampant narcissism. But to call this a boomer movie is to completely miss the point.

As a millennial, I can say the narcissism and selfishness on display in this movie fits right in with the current social media generation. The characters in this movie even record themselves with a 1980s video camera. I can only imagine all the selfies and social media posts this movie would contain if made today, so this movie is not unique to a single generation.

Also, this movie isn't just about the death of the 60's, it's about the death of idealism. It's really easy to be idealistic in college when you have no other real responsibilities. However, once you're out in the real world, you have to make many compromises if you want to survive. Maybe Alex couldn't live with compromises he chose to make?

The Big Chill doesn't end with any phony epiphanies or big revelations. The viewer is not offered any reassurance that the characters have learned anything or are any better off than they were at the beginning. Such is life.

Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer (2021)

Crime documentary that focuses on the victims

[7/10 · 18 January 2021]

This series rises above most crime documentaries because it actually focuses on the victims, their families and the police. These people deserve to be remembered, and were much more than just victims.

Most of these types of documentaries only exploit the victims, and end up focusing on the killer, making them a celebrity. There's no reason to focus on the life of a sociopath, and no rational for their behavior. Millions of people are abused growing up, and almost none become serial killers. The point of this documentary is not why this happened, but how he was caught.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

1984?

[7/10 · 26 December 2020]

Unfortunately this film probably won't live up to most viewers expectations. The first Wonder Woman film set a precedent, and actually had something fresh to say. WW84 feels like a sequel that had to be made, to capitalize on the huge box office of the previous film, even though there was no more story to tell.

Also, was there really any reason for this movie to take place in 1984? Other than trying to capitalize on 80s nostalgia, this movie's story could have happened at any time. The only link I can see, is this movie had a campy feel, similar to the Superman sequels of the mid-80s.

The Godsend (1980)

The Parent Trap

[3/10 · 11 November 2020]

The only way this film works is as a black comedy. The mother and father characters are the most inept and incompetent parents in the history of movies.

One by one, their children are dying. These parents just can't be bothered to keep an eye on their kids. Finally, by the time their 5th child mysteriously dies, Mom and Dad begin to figure out that little Bonnie might be the problem. But by then it's too late, the audience has already fallen asleep.

Zombie High (1987)

No Zombies, No High

[2/10 · 10 October 2020]

I can live with the fact that this isn't actually a zombie movie, the bigger problem is it's barely even a horror movie. You have to sit through 45 minutes of a boring 'teen' drama, with some of the worst dialogue ever put to film, before anything even remotely 'horrific' happens.

Just because Virginia Madsen is the movie doesn't mean it's any good

Streetwalkin' (1985)

Streetfallen'

[4/10 · 21 September 2020]

Another 80s sleazefest that doesn't know what it wants to be. Some parts goofy sex comedy, other parts brutal drama. It's similar to other (better) 80s movies like 'Savage Streets' and the 'Angel' series.

Tenement (1985)

Tenement Funster

[7/10 · 14 September 2020]

Roberta Findlay's Tenement should be ranked among the all-time Drive-in classics such as I Spit on Your Grave and Last House on the Left. This movie pulls no punches, and is possibly even more disturbing in 2020 than it was at the time of it's release. Women, children, the elderly... no one is spared.

Cannibals in the Streets (1980)

Cannibal Rambo

[6/10 · 10 September 2020]

Imagine the movies Rambo and Cobra, but with Cannibals.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

The least Tarantino of Tarantino's films.

[10/10 · 1 September 2020]

If you think Reservoir Dogs is great, then you'll probably hate this movie.

If you think Fellini, Truffaut, and Leone are great directors, then you'll probably love this movie.

'Hollywood' is Tarantino's most mature film, and over time, it will be regarded as his best with Pulp Fiction.

Possession (1981)

The Acting Makes Jim Carrey Look Subtle

[7/10 · 22 August 2020]

Possession is an art house film about divorce, that takes itself very seriously. It's the type of movie that's just weird enough to be labeled as 'brilliant' when in actuality, it's mostly just pretentious.

I'm still not sure if Isabelle Adjani's performance is genius or hilarious. She could either be genuinely possessed, or auditioning for the lead in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Congo (1995)

Tim Curry gets it.

[7/10 · 17 June 2020]

This movie is a great litmus test. It can be used to separate your friends and family into two categories: fun people vs elitist snobs. The type of people that hate this movie are the same ones that want to argue about mise-en-scene in Argento films and the iconography of Bergman.

Congo is a throw back to the days of the drive-in movie. In those simpler times, movies about lost cities, diamonds and killer gorillas were considered fun. Sometimes, movies are just meant to be fun. Tim Curry gets it, why can't you?

Terrifier (2016)

Dullifier

[3/10 · 26 March 2020]

How is this a throwback to 80's slashers? Because it uses practical effects? If anything, it's a 'throwback' to recent torture movies like Saw, Hostel, and Hatchet.

There's really nothing to say about this thing. A clown chases and kills a bunch of characters we don't care about. The gore is so over the top, it could have worked as a comedy if it wasn't so mean spirited.

At this point, I think people are so tired of CGI, they are willing to give positive scores to any movie using practical effects 'like the good old days'.

Richard Jewell (2019)

Some Things Never Change

[9/10 · 9 March 2020]

It's fitting that a movie about Richard Jewell would be railroaded by mainstream critics. These people are more interested in projecting their political agendas onto the film, rather than exploring it's actual themes.

Like the actual Richard Jewell, this movie fits a profile. On it's surface, the film must be conservative. It has a sympathetic southern white man that loves guns and wants to be a cop. A female reporter that is depicted in an unsavory way. Oh, and the films director is cranky old Clint Eastwood.

However, the film is actually much more complex. It's about the relationship between a mother and her son. It's about ordinary people thrown into extraordinary circumstances. It's about the foolish nature of those who blindly follow authority. It's about people ignoring the truth, because it doesn't fit their agenda.

The film asks: Are you interested in the truth, or are just interested in being right?

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Franchise: Terminated

[6/10 · 15 January 2020]

This really isn't a sequel to T2. The plot of this movie actually negates the first two movies, only to retell a similar story. There are some great action sequences, but the story is basically the same as previous Terminator films: Someone from the future is sent back to the past to protect the 'only hope' in the future.

We know from T2 that Skynet is stopped, so Judgment Day never happens. But none of this matters, because a new company called Legion, ends up doing the same thing in the future anyway. Basically, this movie tells us that an AI Judgment Day is inevitable. Even if they stop Legion in this movie, another company can just take its place in any future sequel.

Marriage Story (2019)

Kramer vs Kramer 2

[8/10 · 14 January 2020]

Another movie about divorce and child custody. We all know divorce is terrible, a 'death without a body' as the movie states. But, this movie isn't concerned with sending a message. It isn't really about plot, or story, it's about great acting, and fully developed characters. The characters are so well written, each with their own flaws, it's difficult for the viewer to take sides. It's a character study of two well meaning people that just shouldn't be together.

It's a well made film, but at the end of the day you could also just watch Kramer vs Kramer, Mrs. Doubtfire, or one of the other thousand movies about divorce.

Black Christmas (1974)

Not the first Slasher

[7/10 · 21 December 2019]

I'm not sure why people keep saying 'Black Christmas' is the first slasher movie. Clearly, the films 'Bay of Blood' and 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' we're both released first. Not to mention the fact that all slasher films owe a great deal to Hitchcock's 'Psycho'.

That being said, Bob Clark is a skilled director, and this film is one of the better films in the slasher genre. Minimal gore, strong acting, and Andrea Martin help separate this film from the million other slashers that would be released in the late 70s and 80s.

3 from Hell (2019)

2 and 1/2 From Hell

[5/10 · 16 October 2019]

The great thing about The Devils Rejects was how it blurred the lines of good vs evil. The Firefly family were murderers, but you could still have some sympathy for them. Sheriff Wydell was losing his mind, but his motivations for revenge made sense. The audience could take sides based on their own perspectives.

3 From Hell has none of that. Otis and Baby are clearly the antihero's of this story, and only kill people who 'deserved' it. We the audience are firmly on their side. There is no horror or suspense because we don't care about any of the people in danger. Plus, the lack of Sid Haig really hurts the movie. Richard Brake gave a good effort, but without Captain Spaulding, this just feels like a completely different series.

If you liked the previous two movies, you'll find something to like about 3 From Hell, but it still lacks what was so special about The Devils Rejects.