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Reviews
Johnny Off the Spot (2008)
Effective, Suspenseful Work From Retelas & Co.
Once again, George Retelas makes very clear to us his delight in crisp, well-paced storytelling and intelligent use of whatever tools he has on hand. This remarkably suspenseful vampire short is smart, inventive and surprisingly funny. Among its many good points is the disturbing and hilarious fashion in which Dracula "floats" down the hall -- akin to dreams of flying by swimming in the air, with the distinct flavor of childhood nightmares. I think I know how it was done, but I am not going to bore you with a recap; it must be watched. Several things stand out in this film but I will mention one here: it's four minutes long but quite effectively suspenseful in those four minutes; I did not expect to be so spooked. Cannot wait to see what Retelas & Co. do next.
Made Men (2009)
Understated, Engaging Mafia Piece Shows Promise
This is the only student film I've ever seen that tackled the subject of organized crime. I'm sure more people have tried this subject on for size, but I would doubt that any would do it with this degree of tidiness. Short (as a short should be) bittersweet and to the point, it seems clear that this piece -- like this group's other work, Weird Science Whatever -- is as much an homage to larger works as it is its own stand-alone piece.
This film does not, however, resemble Weird Science Whatever in any other fashion (except perhaps for Brandon Hunt's cameo as an FBI driver, subtly done -- I did not notice him); it is its own film. Which is rare among students. I suppose it is to be expected that men in their twenties would want to make a mafia movie, but thank almighty hoo-ha that none of the following are included: coke-and-testosterone-fueled screaming matches where guys in bad suits point handguns sideways at their friends; bad attempts at Gandolfini, DeNiro, Brando, Pesci, Walken, Bogart or Cagney; icepicks; smoke-filled rooms; bad Italian accents. The list could go on, but you get the picture. Its simplicity and directness make this a watchable, if slightly flawed, short.
Flawed? Yes, just a couple of minor flaws: the premise assumes that there were somehow neither Italians nor organized crime in the San Francisco Bay Area before 9/11; so unless this story takes place in an alternate reality (often suggested by the presence of Zeppelins and other dirigibles -- none of which appear in the film), actual history should have been acknowledged. This missing piece doesn't destroy the film, but it does stick in my craw. The other major problem is that we never learn how Giovanni knows that Mikey was a rat. So unless he's psychic, which would have to be explained, how does he know? Small but important pieces of an otherwise complete puzzle. Worth subtracting two points from a possible ten.
It's a clean enough production that I suspect the filmmakers might already have realized their mistake; while some might suggest overlooking such small details in light of the overall quality of the piece and the surprisingly understated performances (a rarity among twenty-somethings), I would counter with the argument that it is for those very reasons that these missing details must be pointed out: young filmmakers willing to work this hard will only benefit from direct, constructive criticism.
Weird Science Whatever (2008)
Brilliant Satirical Homage Tailored to Nerds Everywhere
George Retelas and Brandon Hunt seem to have melded a smörgåsbord of quoted scenes and plot points from every geek's favorite Sci-Fi/Adventure film into one episodic epic. At first glance, it's low-budget and might be mistaken for hokey slapstick. But consider: it's the very specific choices within this shoestring production that mark these filmmakers as truly creative, and honestly in love with the art -- with a few busty hotties thrown in for good measurements.
Specificity is the jewel in this team's tinfoil crown: their physicality is the Dance of the Anime Nerds, replete with ultra-goofy closeups and schmacting that puts Ben Affleck to shame. The sheer ingenuity of what they do, what they use to get it done, and the detailed ridiculousness inherent in just about every shot, is a joy to behold.
Consider, if you will, the steaming junk of the naked man. The Lego-like detail of Robot Bastard. The corporate office foyer of the Dark Lord (no surprise, considering that these fellows hail from the Tri-Valley Area, a corporate backwater of the SF Bay Area). And lest you think I somehow missed them: the breasts. Oh, yes. The breasts. Cleavage galore, my friends; submissive nerds everywhere will shudder in stunted expectation at the dominating jiggle of the Dark Lord's curvy minions.
I believe it's only a matter of time before Hunt & Retelas have Jack Black and Salma Hayek making guest appearances in this superb love letter to nerd-niche entertainment. Until then, let us all pack a bowl, raise our flagons, roll the 20-sided dice and pray that the prophecy will send a curvy blonde to the garage so that we can save the world ... world ... world ...