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Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
New in this update, "ForceTime" with fellow Force users...
Pre-review statement: When I returned home from the mostly filled movie theater and asked how the movie ranked among the other 8 core movies, I replied "tied for 7th with The Force Awakens". The movie is bad on many levels. The end credits rolled with no applause. People around me looked around in bewilderment. I am not swayed by the nostalgic insertions of cameo appearances (I did appreciate legendary John Williams and out of costume Anthony Daniels cameos though). I will not tell people to make up their own mind and watch it because that coats the money pockets of bad writers and is an enabling device to develop more trash with attendance numbers. At this point, almost everyone goes in because they hope for a resolution or because it is Star Wars. Soon you will see the folly of that attitude. Someone else bought my ticket, I have not watched in theater a Star Wars movie since The Force Awakens left me very disgruntled.
Review: The movie is a hot mess. It is not good. It is all over the place and written sloppy. Many sad plot devices. Appreciating acting is somewhat arbitrary to the viewer, most will agree when acting is bad or good but it is hard to qualify it unless someone has already spend the money and time watching.
Light speed skipping is flawed. Performed manually, a nano micro millisecond longer and you are colliding with another object. Think about it, 983,600,000 feet per second. And it is performed a few times. How is it logical anyone can follow this escape maneuver? Obviously one has to perform a light speed skip at the exact angle escape and the exact duration to still be behind them at the exact spot. Yet numerous chasers keep up the chase. A new math...where 1+1 does not equal 2.
A fascinating power, I'll call "ForceTime", allows 2 force users to swap objects across the galaxy. Rey is on a planet, Kylo is on a ship across the galaxy, and he grabs a necklace off her and when the ForceTime call is ended, hands it to an aide to determine her location. Awesome new skill...to solve a much needed plot device.
Thanks to The Last Jedi, force ghosts can interact with the real world. This continues with force ghost Luke catching an object thrown at him. Why not have an army of force ghosts obliterate the enemy? There can be a scary Army of the Dead...if you are Darth King Aragorn.
Adding to the horror element, normal people can appear as ghosts! Maybe this is only to force sensitive users but who knows what's next in this degenerating series.
A coliseum of evil people watch a fight and no one intervenes when the bad guy is about to lose. Well, a few guards try against someone who can toss people around with a though. A person can prevent or help a prison ship escape using force pull or push but now can barely hold off a few non-Force users with sticks. Are you not entertained?!
A few horseback riders attacking technology...I won't even go there. At least when it was done on Return of the Jedi, the Ewoks had home field advantage.
A determined look in a character eye or a firm stance or straining out a grunt when fighting doesn't impress me. Me filling in the blanks to explain away nonsense is not my idea of a good movie. I'm sad for the actors having committed to the trash writing and directing. It is their (yes chosen) career and they ultimately have little input.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
New in this update, "ForceTime" with fellow Force users...
Pre-review statement: When I returned home from the mostly filled movie theater and asked how the movie ranked among the other 8 core movies, I replied "tied for 7th with The Force Awakens". The movie is bad on many levels. The end credits rolled with no applause. People around me looked around in bewilderment. I am not swayed by the nostalgic insertions of cameo appearances (I did appreciate legendary John Williams and out of costume Anthony Daniels cameos though). I will not tell people to make up their own mind and watch it because that coats the money pockets of bad writers and is an enabling device to develop more trash with attendance numbers. At this point, almost everyone goes in because they hope for a resolution or because it is Star Wars. Soon you will see the folly of that attitude. Someone else bought my ticket, I have not watched in theater a Star Wars movie since The Force Awakens left me very disgruntled.
Review: The movie is a hot mess. It is not good. It is all over the place and written sloppy. Many sad plot devices. Appreciating acting is somewhat arbitrary to the viewer, most will agree when acting is bad or good but it is hard to qualify it unless someone has already spend the money and time watching.
Light speed skipping is flawed. Performed manually, a nano micro millisecond longer and you are colliding with another object. Think about it, 983,600,000 feet per second. And it is performed a few times. How is it logical anyone can follow this escape maneuver? Obviously one has to perform a light speed skip at the exact angle escape and the exact duration to still be behind them at the exact spot. Yet numerous chasers keep up the chase. A new math...where 1+1 does not equal 2.
A fascinating power, I'll call "ForceTime", allows 2 force users to swap objects across the galaxy. Rey is on a planet, Kylo is on a ship across the galaxy, and he grabs a necklace off her and when the ForceTime call is ended, hands it to an aide to determine her location. Awesome new skill...to solve a much needed plot device.
Thanks to The Last Jedi, force ghosts can interact with the real world. This continues with force ghost Luke catching an object thrown at him. Why not have an army of force ghosts obliterate the enemy? There can be a scary Army of the Dead...if you are Darth King Aragorn.
Adding to the horror element, normal people can appear as ghosts! Maybe this is only to force sensitive users but who knows what's next in this degenerating series.
A coliseum of evil people watch a fight and no one intervenes when the bad guy is about to lose. Well, a few guards try against someone who can toss people around with a though. A person can prevent or help a prison ship escape using force pull or push but now can barely hold off a few non-Force users with sticks. Are you not entertained?!
A few horseback riders attacking technology...I won't even go there. At least when it was done on Return of the Jedi, the Ewoks had home field advantage.
A determined look in a character eye or a firm stance or straining out a grunt when fighting doesn't impress me. Me filling in the blanks to explain away nonsense is not my idea of a good movie. I'm sad for the actors having committed to the trash writing and directing. It is their (yes chosen) career and they ultimately have little input.
The Walking Dead: How It's Gotta Be (2017)
The...Worst...Dead
This is "How It's Gotta Be", the writers have gotta be removed, no "Mercy". These "Monsters" are "The Damned" of the series, dumbing down all the characters including "The King, the Widow, and Rick". "The Big Scary U"nfortunate thing about all this is it can still be fixed with new writers, hire "Some Guy" and those fired can have their "Time for After", mourning their sad state of affairs.
Why why why has no one related to the series straightened out the train wreck?! How can anyone defend this show? Quit trying to be fancy with the music and the slow face shots (I called it a couple reviews ago, more time wasting, unartistic garbage). Maybe use the time to show how certain individuals got BIT, instead of the lame reveal at the end. Oh ya, here's a bandage and under it is a bite. I know, I was wearing a shirt and it is in an awkward spot to reach with a mouth, not an arm or a neck. And only one bite. Since I'm filling in the blanks for the writers... it happened when unconscious, during the fight, or was it a hungry human, a biting teeth toy... give me a break.
Let's all sit in our cars while another group of cars surround us, let's allow those in second group to exit the cars without trying to defend or get away. What kind of poop is that?
A one-on-one fight, lame plot devices to continue the slap session by being thrown around or weapons just out of reach. Get medieval on him and keep pounding away, I don't care who you think I'm even saying to do this, it is a pair of posturing peacocks.
Nothing makes sense other than the Nielsen ratings. Dropping big, get your show under control. Actors, defend the characters. Who ever the sycophants are spouting "this is going great" need to be removed and bring the fans writing on this board into the fold to help fix it.
Thank you.
The Walking Dead: How It's Gotta Be (2017)
The...Worst...Dead
This is "How It's Gotta Be", the writers have gotta be removed, no "Mercy". These "Monsters" are "The Damned" of the series, dumbing down all the characters including "The King, the Widow, and Rick". "The Big Scary U"nfortunate thing about all this is it can still be fixed with new writers, hire "Some Guy" and those fired can have their "Time for After", mourning their sad state of affairs.
Why why why has no one related to the series straightened out the train wreck?! How can anyone defend this show? Quit trying to be fancy with the music and the slow face shots (I called it a couple reviews ago, more time wasting, unartistic garbage). Maybe use the time to show how certain individuals got BIT, instead of the lame reveal at the end. Oh ya, here's a bandage and under it is a bite. I know, I was wearing a shirt and it is in an awkward spot to reach with a mouth, not an arm or a neck. And only one bite. Since I'm filling in the blanks for the writers... it happened when unconscious, during the fight, or was it a hungry human, a biting teeth toy... give me a break.
Let's all sit in our cars while another group of cars surround us, let's allow those in second group to exit the cars without trying to defend or get away. What kind of poop is that?
A one-on-one fight, lame plot devices to continue the slap session by being thrown around or weapons just out of reach. Get medieval on him and keep pounding away, I don't care who you think I'm even saying to do this, it is a pair of posturing peacocks.
Nothing makes sense other than the Nielsen ratings. Dropping big, get your show under control. Actors, defend the characters. Who ever the sycophants are spouting "this is going great" need to be removed and bring the fans writing on this board into the fold to help fix it.
Thank you.
The Walking Dead: Time for After (2017)
The Walking Dumb
Here's a riddle: What is the difference between a garbage truck plowing a hole in the side of a building and opening a large bay door in the side of a building to allow walkers in so you can mow them down? The answer, writers block. The riddle makes as much sense as the stupid incident. If the Saviors needed an opening to mow them down and get away, why didn't they open a door? Writers didn't consider Daryl presents the Saviors an armored vehicle (the garbage truck), using it to draw off the walkers (recall him being told to keep it quiet) or providing an escape vehicle. BAH!
Predictably, Rick's posse accomplished losing the opportunity to win over anyone who thought Rick's gang of morons gave a walker turd for a life. They aren't interested in mass surrender, they are craving death for the evil few by risking and ultimately sacrificing the enslaved.
Now an over/under question: How many times did I have to rewind the video to understand what the heck Eugene was saying? If you said over 6, you'd be correct. Will the writers spend less time creating "witty" and "clever" Eugene-isms and spend more time realizing a truck produced hole is the SAME THING as an open door?! Please, call me, I'll work for half their pay and consider character options in stressful situations.
And for the final test: How many hands does Rick need to subdue a spike headed walker, 2 Scavengers, and an armed Jadis? The kicker is after the fight, over 12 armed Scavengers would surround the fight/bite club. Ahh, that's a trick answer, if you answered 2 tied hands, you would be correct, or you could answer 1 pair of hands tied. Please, call me, I'll work for half their pay...oh forget it. Your writing stinks and I don't think I could dig you out of it.
Thank you.
The Flash: Crisis on Earth-X, Part 3 (2017)
Crisis in DC/CW
The Scarlet Speedster. The Crimson Comet. The Flash. I was giving this until the Crisis story-line to determine whether I'd stick around any longer or not. This was another poop-on-a-stick episode.
Insults to viewers/fans of The Flash: The Flash can speed 2.2 kilometers away (if I remember the stated distance) and recon a site in less than a second (from inside a familiar building, through virgin territory, recon a new building, and return). So if A=B, and B=C, then A=C right? Not in the case of Flash speed. He only runs that fast as a plot device, otherwise he'll get caught flat footed.
Two humans take on Professor Zoom, an evil Supergirl, an evil Arrow, and other armed minions. Insert insulting steam valve plot device. With hands in the air, confined space, one can look at a valve and turn it enough (are you sure you know what that valve does?) so it sprays on the two guards pointing weapons at them. Again, perfect placement and idiot reaction time. And all the killing, what is this rated again??
By the end of the episode, I realized the Flash target audience isn't 20+ age individuals, not even late teens, it is 7-10 range. And they should be insulted by the dialogue and behavior of adults. Leo speaks like he's trying to impress children he's nasty.
This could be a great show with a bit of grit and seriousness, instead we are served up a platter of political correctness inside juvenile adult interactions.
Thank you.
The Walking Dead: The King, the Widow and Rick (2017)
The Written Dread; The Shell-shocked, The Angry Face, and The Delusional
First some facts before the review for those interested in Nielsen ratings. Other than the season premier episode, the remaining 5 of 6 episodes have a rating size less not seen since season 2 (and season 2 finale was larger than the 5 also). SEASON 2, when the series was in its infancy! So 5 straight episodes less than 9 rating when season 3 had only 3 low episodes between 9 and 10. Also the average size has dropped the last 3 seasons, 38% drop since it's peak (season 5) and currently 20% drop since last season (so far). See Nielsen ratings on wiki for The Walking Dead to verify.
Back to the series: I believe a lot of the crew are victims of their own success and resultant narcissism. Several seasons ago, viewers didn't have the "fancy" production with voice over pan shots of people walking around in semi-slow motion, musical introduction with faces sweating and dripping blood. At the start it was straight forward and got the viewers attention, not the current compost heap. Just wait, I'm sure there'll be more of this editing trickery to waste more time from a slow season.
Back to the episode: I'm not sure what the angle is with Gregory, but I think it would be smart if he is truly getting in good with the Saviors to help save people. That's all I can present as the intriguing aspect from the episode. Otherwise, the rocket exploding person (is it a parody joke doing this inside a building?!), 5+ different story lines, the idiot junk yard cult (society communications drop so dramatically in less than a couple years?... "Talking bad. You annoying."), chronic moronic behavior. Wandering around in weird patterns?? How have they survived? I'm surprised they have any tactical methodology to survive this long.
At some point, the actors have to take a stand and tell the writers and director, "My characters behavior is so screwed up and makes no sense. Do they have brain damage, are the oxygen levels on the planet dropping thereby reducing brain functions?"
I'm committed to the series until the mid-season break, afterwards depends on how it breaks.
P.S. What is the status of the HELICOPTER?!! Seriously, the storytelling is pathetic. Great, even the helicopter has pulled a "Glenn"... (see prior review on what a "Glenn" is).
Thank you.
The Walking Dead: The Big Scary U (2017)
Pulling a minor "Glenn" in the series
A "Glenn" is where a cliffhanger finally continues after 2 (or more) full episodes not covering the topic, in this case Father Gabriel and Negan. I find this form of storytelling very hackneyed and cliché.
We backtrack to a big meeting with Savior leadership before Rick and posse arrives (3 episodes ago) for a verbal duel and assault on the compound. Afterwards, we cut back and forth between the trailer, the Savior top captains, and the dynamic duo of Rick and Daryl. I get why Negal feels what he does is for the best, however he is a bad guy. As we know, killing select "good guys" as a lesson to everyone empowers the "bad guys". People are a resource, true, yet you destroy in a world without real production (burn mattresses) and enslave.
Frankly, I'm weary of his banter. Don't get me wrong, I get pretty vulgar, but one big attraction to the series initially was how crude language wasn't necessary to get the desperate survival theme across. It is commonplace now among all the characters and cheapens the show.
The only semi-dramatic engaging moment was when Father Gabriel and Negan confessed some of their past with one another, otherwise I wasn't fully captivated by the story-line. Oh look, issue resolved, truck with big weapons blows up. Stupid plot devices.
I think the series has become a parody of itself, amazing to think the plot quality has dropped in efforts to get "ratings" when the same efforts are losing the same people which gave them the awesome ratings. Half the household no longer watches it for these reasons, and now I'm near finding other things I'd rather do than continue following the mess.
Thank you.
The Flash: Girls Night Out (2017)
I wish I could fastforward to cut down viewing time
This episode is horrible and the season after 5 episodes is looking bad. Flash's meta freak of the week is like Smallville's meteor freak of the week. We had the original blast and now the bringing back the flash blast creating a new batch of meta humans. Boring. The only Rogue's gallery to rival the Flash is Batman. Flash has a great collection and the handling of them is sad.
Blacksmith's special effects didn't look good. The dialogue is juvenile. As smart as this group is supposed to be, they are immature. Joe and "Harry" for the most part are my only favorite characters. I'm near the end of my tolerance for watching the series, the entertainment factor versus my time doing other things has reached a re-evaluation point. Good luck to the show.
The Walking Dead: Some Guy (2017)
help needed: good, logical writers please apply
Indications of bad writing: A guy with a shot leg crawling on the ground can out run dozens of fresh walkers. Test out your writing by putting your leg in a fake cast and try to use your arms and functional leg to push yourself for hundreds of yards. See how tired you get? However, a healthy, fully grown tiger can get taken down by falling apart decayed, old, stuck in the mud, zombies. The beast is hundreds of pounds in weight, can easily bowl them over. If you want to save budget from CGI tigers, do a better job. No sense.
Hundreds of rounds of ammunition shot at each other and no one gets injured at the standoff? In general, no one has hearing damage, especially when fired indoors? Don't shoot out tires on a chase or even at a stand off to prevent someone running off with a truck load of weapons? Maybe the writing stinks because they want to kill the show. Or they don't want their sweet job anymore? Heck, hire me. If as much time was spent writing common logical sense into the plot instead of inane banter, things would look encouraging on Rick's gang surviving the apocalypse. My characters would shoot before 10 words were out of any mouth. "I don't have time to listen, I have walkers chasing me. BAM!"