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Reviews
Greta (2018)
First half was remarkably realistic and creepy
I have actually had stalkers in the past. It does begin so ... normally. It took me a while to realize when it changed from a neighbor who appears to be trying to be helpful to a person who is a bit too inquisitive, too present, and too eager to spread rumors or act as if she's trying to help. Taking my mail from my mailbox and keeping things she didn't think I wanted? Telling the mail carriers that I have given her permission to reroute my mail. And police said the only crime at that point is interfering with the mail. Then she went on to other crimes I had to explain to credit card companies, automotive repo guys, DMV. But it never got to the point of horror movie scary, thank goodness.
That's why this extreme change, from sweet lonely old lady to screaming confrontation in a restaurant or taking steps to imprison or drug someone seemed too excessive. It could have been realistically scary though. I would have believed it if I were home alone or in a subway tunnel late at night and my stalker was there...
And whoever thought it was unrealistic for Isabelle Hupert, brilliant French actress and born in Paris, to have a French accent needs to watch some of her other films.
Vindicta (2023)
What a mess!
I thought this could maybe (please) be a story of a clever serial killer with a grudge. More like Kevin Spacey in Se7en. It's not.
Worse for the plot line is having a pretty young paramedic who coincidentally speaks Mandarin and Latin and knows jujitsu...And nobody at all thinks to look up events from only 5 years earlier with this same building?
The irritation for me was the mix of dog Latin with quotes from Virgil's Aeneid, and, worse still nobody explains the inclusion of Ancient Greek gods rather than Ancient Roman gods in this Latin fest. Ancient Greeks spoke Ancient Greek. And they came well before there even was Latin. Ancient Romans spoke Latin. And they had their own gods.
The Visit (2015)
So disappointing! And read it afterward in case you like it.
I really thought there would be a better ending. I know I figured Sixth Sense out right after Bruce Willis was shot but I had hoped this would have a great reveal or twist or something that I hadn't figured out.
It was just silly. So many odd unnecessary bits that were, I suppose, trying to lead you in other directions but it turned out to be so dull.
Now a couple of spoilers:
I don't see what the poopy diapers were supposed to mean. Crazy people don't bother with the diaper and sane people wouldn't store them. I worked in a mental hospital many years ago and lots of this behavior doesn't fit. Seniors aren't all crazed killers. Sundowning yes but that doesn't go with murderers. And yet they bake, make breakfast, chop wood, play board games and all other functions as normal.
What was the deal with the story about alien beings from a planet both of them knew and all the prattle about sleeping in the pond?
And what about all of the people who came to the house? How was it that nobody saw these escaped lunatics? And how were they ever kept together in a hospital setting and how did they get out?
It was so frustrating!! There could have been one good story even without the parents divorcing or any of the still unresolved back story of the reason for lack of contact.
You're so much better than this!! Give us a good one!
30 Monedas (2020)
Season 1 had one scene of subtle but creepy horror
On occasion the first season did go beyond regular horror and put in things (no specifics, just things) that were unnecessary for this to be a great horror series. In fact there was a scene with a mirror that really gave me shivers without having much action at all. I like the title concept of the 30 coins given to Judas having been gathered by evil people (supported by the church) who then go to great lengths to keep as many as they can find.
The second season does continue the concept and begins about a year after the events at the end of the first season. This year the contest of collecting these coins has a new twist and some new (and some original) cast members have joined. The second season has more English spoken than the first but it still has some French and Italian mixed with the Spanish. And while multiple languages are common in Europe, Americans seem to struggle with it a bit. I'm hoping season 2 stays on track. I've seen the first four episodes of s2.
Sisu (2022)
It's a 70 year old Lapland Rambo
And I realized I liked it. The bad guys are very clearly bad (Nazi and SS - almost stereotypically bad). The hero is not a typical good guy but easy to root for. He's almost 70 years old, a prospector, and alone but for his horse and his dog.
It's 1944 and the Nazis are doing a scorched earth retreat when they come across this Finnish Rambo. They make the mistake of deciding to kill him and you can surely guess the rest. Somewhat strangely all the Nazis are speaking English and there are only a very few subtitled Finnish conversations.
There are no spoilers here any more than there could be in a Rambo movie. Good guy vs bad guys.
The loner hero has, of course, some good reasons for his anger, depression, etc and you want him to win regardless of the gore or the violence.
Not a masterpiece but definitely a bowl of popcorn and root for the underdog kind of fun!
And it's only 90 minutes.
I think part of what I liked too is an older hero who doesn't suddenly show off 6-pack abs yet still overcomes crazy odds. And kills Nazis!
Chocolate City: Vegas (2017)
Wasn't this the same plot as a Brady Bunch movie?
Isn't this the same plot as a Brady Bunch movie years ago??
So... a group of desperate dancers (or in the Brady movie - singers) need a large amount of money quickly and ... there just happens to be a dance contest (or in the Brady movie a singing contest) such that if you win first prize, everything is peachy again!
I have no intention of spoiling anything for either movie 😉😉 but you can guess they enter the contest.
The idea is you get to see dancers, and you get to see a contest, and you get to see a dancing contest in Las Vegas!
So that warrants a couple of stars. This is not the kind of movie that you plan a weekend viewing party around. But if you have some time and some popcorn you could do worse (not much worse but yes, worse). At least it's not so bad that you get angry. But I wouldn't pay money for it.
King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table (2017)
A train wreck I couldn't stop watching
The three stars are just for the fact that I kept watching to the end and had no idea what would happen.
When I think of King Arthur and Excalibur I never think of Thailand, kick boxing, building-sized evil dolls a la Ghostbusters, space ships (space rocks?), alien technology or even extra holy grails that aren't the main holy grail. But this movie has them all.
It is a terrible, low budget, badly overacted movie but who could predict any of the weirdness they added to a King Arthur story!
I say watch it (only if it's free) just for a laugh ... or to be stunned into silence.