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Reviews
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Waited 20 years to watch it and perfect timing!
I put off watching this global warming nonsense film, but I loved it!
Los Angeles is destroyed. NYC is wiped out, as well as the entire NorthEast, and all the blue states
Only Red States left and then we simply invade Mexico and take that over.
What's not to love??? The acting is cheesy as the scientists run around warning about Man Bear Pig.... All I hear was Al Gores voice from SoutPark.... " we must take this threat super-serious "
But America is a better place.... All the blue States are destroyed and those annoying Libs killed
Hopefully AOC was one of the first to go
And Mexico will now prosper as we've annexed it
Also - the Russians are destroyed.... We've all heard what a horrible threat they are
There's also no sodomy scenes with Jake Gyllenhaal in a cowboy hat - another plus
So Very entertaining.
The Morgue (2008)
If you're a fan of '70's B Horror
A lot of hate being cast, yet if you're a fan of '70's B-Horror, like "Audrey Rose", with Anthony Hopkins, or "Don't Go To Sleep" with Dennis Weaver, I believe you'll enjoy the plot.
Spoilers: It's a story about the Grim Reaper harvesting souls, here portrayed by an Ex-Undertaker who killed himself.
I particularly enjoyed the end, where it is revealed how these lost souls came to be, and are slowly released into the ether. Except of course our protagonist who is trapped in Purgatory on her Birthday.
Blair Witch fans will enjoy Heather Donahue, who does well portraying the angry wife.
The one question I'm left with is who were the two drunk drivers running from in the first place?
Fun Fact: While not actually a "mourge", it was filmed at Mountain View Mausoleum in California, which has an actual movie set - "Mourge" room, for filming, while not open to the public for obvious reasons.
Superman's George Reeves is buried there.
Other shows filmed there include X-Files, Pretty Little Liars, American Horror Story, Six Feet Under, Dead Like Me, Flash, Battlestar Galactica, Charmed and The Fringe.
Deadfall (1993)
I'm giving it an extra star for Mickey Dolenz
God, this horrible!!!
What an utter waste of talent. James Coburn? Fonda? Was the director high? Did the actors have to take this project to get on Daddy Coppola's good side?
I'm actually writing this review no one will read, rather than pay attention to the last 30 minutes of this epic time waste.
Thankfully you can fast forward through most of it.
The Walking Dead: The Rotten Core (2022)
Governments are corrupt
Rotten to the core. No matter how hard they try, Governments illicit greed, corruption and rot the institutions from the inside like a cancer.
Great intentions are like ass***s --everyone has them, or believes they do.
In reality the selfish few take over the host body until it is weakened and dead.
The Walking Dead: Rogue Element (2022)
Jumped the Shark
Just end it already. I'm suffering through this final season.... That's apparently dragging out all year.
The last episode with the haunted house was dumb enough.
And the Storm Trooper costumes?
Bring bag Negan and end it!!!
Dexter: New Blood: Storm of Fuck (2021)
Much better than E1
This episode gets back to Dexter, now that the PC nonsense of E1is over....... Somewhat
Not sure why people are hating on "Deb", or her ghost. Dexter is supposed to be insane right? Annnnddd he talks to ghosts.
I love Carpenter regardless, glad she's back.
MMIW.... Missing Murderded Indigenous Women??? Really. The PC crap needs to stop.
1883: The Weep of Surrender (2022)
Jumped the shark...
I love the realism of the show. The constant hardships and struggles pioneers faced. Death around every corner.
However, Daddy's little girl dressing up like Elton John and decidedly running off with an Indian is absolute BS. And the senior Dutton just says "awe shucks, there she goes again". The cattle train is fine with it?
No way. People were in no way that tolerant.
Hopefully episode 9 doesn't go full Broke Back.
The Resort (2021)
Good B - Horror flick
Why all the hate? Gimme an abandoned, haunted resort and I'm in!!!
Low budget, but I liked the concept. Entertaining
Should have hired Nick Cage - it would be 6 stars.
YellowBrickRoad (2010)
Try it!
I love this movie. They obviously didn't have a huge budget, but you don't need one for the woods.
If you've lived in New England you'll appreciate it. There's many creepy lost settlements and abandoned towns. Home of Stephen King and Castle Rick.
The music is creepy and so is the plot.
Give it a chance, you'll like it.
Berberian Sound Studio (2012)
waiting.... waiting.... still waiting
Good build up to absolutely nothing
Made for sound engineers exclusively apparently , because I don't get it. How is this getting 6 stars on average???
Holy crap, I want my 90 minutes back.
Phenomena (1985)
Ponderous
What's with the wind? Is it really that windy in the alps??
Unfortunately, it doesn't hold up compared to other'80s horror. And it should be cut 30 minutes.
Donald Pleasance in a wheelchair with a helper-monkey?? WTF
..... and the rock music??? Strange and painfully slow. As least enable Jennifer Connley with superpowers to sick the insects on people.
I know the director has a following.... they should be thrilled... but no one else.
Antichrist (2009)
WTF did I just watch?
Leave it to Willem Dafoe..... never a dull moment
You'll never forget this one. Original horror to say the least. A sick and twisted spiral into madness.
2 thumbs and other body parts up.
The Shadows (2011)
Watch it on fast forward
This movie was included in a "10 Horror Movie" DVD set.
And it's horrible. Don't waste 90 minutes of your life. If you have to ..... fast forward
How it averages 5 stars is the real mystery. Filmed in one room. Very "soap opera"- ish
Picture quality and audio are bad too.
Van Helsing (2004)
Not Horror
.... and it's not categorized as such. More of an X-Men cgi - version of Frankenstein/ Dracula
Wolverine fans will enjoy it. It's entertaining.
Burnt Offerings (1976)
Cut 30 minutes
Too long
Watch "Ghost Story". Plot holds up after the years.
This was tediously slow.
Funny Games (2007)
Remake is the same as original
I was hoping the US version would Cowboy Up and provide some vengeance, but no.
5 stars for original, 4 for this remake for infuriating me. Wanted to see Naomi Watts take charge.
Watched it on fast speed.
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Awesome, new and refreshing
5 Night at Freddy's with Nick Cage!!!
And it's something different. Nothing creepier than those old animitrons
Loved it.
Primal (2019)
Great plot, shame they ran out of $$$
Cast: 7
Plot: 6
Cartoonish CGI: 1
It could have been sooooo much better w/ real special effects
Acting was fine.
The Hunt (2006)
Meh
Horrible acting
Plot is lazy and confused
Characters are annoying
Meh.
The Passage (2019)
Meh
Needs more vampires, less soap opera. Books were great. They have should gone the Walking Dead route.
Instead, they made a drama, punctuated with vampires.
Death of Me (2020)
Why the bad reviews?
I liked it. Serpent & The Rainbow meets Wicker Man.
Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead (2008)
Dum de dum dum
So stupid at every turn. It should have been 40 minutes shorter. By the end I'm rooting for RN to kill them all, b/c their characters are so pathetically weak and imbecilic
The Peterbuilt was my favorite character by far. And, it can outperform a Chevelle SS by the way.
The Fall (2013)
Painfully flow and boring
I have no idea how this is getting such good reviews. If you are looking for silence of the lambs, this is not your show. More like watching paint dry.
Philosophy of a Knife (2008)
Watch it on fastforward
Why is this 4 hours long? Could easily be edited down to 90 mnts
There are some interesting "historical" nuggets interwoven into endless B&W stills
Watch on fast forward if you must
Castle Rock (2018)
I want my 10 hours back
I do not understand the rave reviews. The first season went in a slow, painful circle w/ no end.
I've read of all of S. King's books over 30 years. The little easter eggs were cute but this should have been six episodes at best.
Like his books - too long. Unlike his books - thin plot. Tedious.