"I know I'm not a real woman, my shoes don't hurt, I like math" is an actual line from this embarrassingly sexist, small-minded film. I haven't looked it up, but this was either written by an oblivious man (likely) or a self-hating woman. Whatever this film thought it was doing, glorifying things the writer associates with being "male" that "real women" don't do/don't get -- even though they are gender-neutral things like enjoying math -- is hateful toward women in an attempt to make the lead actress seem "so not like other girls." And you might think, "It's a romcom, it's not that deep." It is actually that deep. These media depictions are damaging. And honestly, who is this romcom targeting? What audience was so pick-me, they were like, "YES, I FEEL SEEN. The only way to feel good about myself is to tear down anything perceived to be feminine." I shut it off after about fifteen minutes. Maybe it comes back around and it doesn't make you feel nauseated, but it wasn't worth the gastrointestinal distress in the interim. Glad this has clearly done so poorly, as the world is better off with less exposure to it.
Reviews
16 Reviews
Jericho
(2006–2008)
Pretty chauvinistic
7 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This is a post-apocalyptic show about America in a post-nuclear event, often with a daytime soap feel. It is somewhat entertaining, but exploits the suffering and death of women as a plot device. By my count, established female characters are murdered at a rate of roughly 5:1 compared to male characters. Women only exist in this universe to support the activities of men, and often disappear without much explanation at all once they can no longer support those activities and are abruptly brought back when it suits the men's storylines. Overall, had a lot more potential and ended up being pretty disappointing.
Just boring
9 July 2022
I found the main characters so unengaging and unlikable I shut it off after investing roughly forty minutes in it. Aidan felt like a backdrop or a prop more than an actual person, adding little in the way of personality or presence, but Claire was worse. She felt silly to the point of taxing. I don't like movies that cost me something to watch them, and staying attuned to this movie, given how painfully nothing it was, felt like work.
Do not recommend.
Do not recommend.
Lost in Space
(2018–2021)
Brilliant Adaptation
26 January 2022
I haven't seen the original, but I felt this show was, stand alone, incredibly good. In my opinion, every episode of this show was crafted with the care and precision demanded of a blockbuster film. Each plot arc was intense and exciting while still being heart-warming. The writing was decent, and while I think the pointed out evolution of the characters was a little over the top, I wouldn't trade the rare combination of warmth and adventure this series generates for a second.
I also loved the family values angle, that broadened the scope of what a family is, and who gets to take part in one.
Genuinely enjoyed all three seasons as well, which speaks for itself. I can't remember the last time I watched a show and was genuinely satisfied with the ending/didn't think the show should have ended well before it actually did.
I also loved the family values angle, that broadened the scope of what a family is, and who gets to take part in one.
Genuinely enjoyed all three seasons as well, which speaks for itself. I can't remember the last time I watched a show and was genuinely satisfied with the ending/didn't think the show should have ended well before it actually did.
The Royal Treatment
(2022)
I hope this movie somehow gets cleansed from the internet
20 January 2022
Just a vapid, poorly acted filler movie.
The plot was basically a minimum effort template film: insert one hot/rich guy, one poor "cool girl," make her enemy another woman, make her competition a shallow/useless but beautiful woman, add two one-dimensional (probably their stupidity as the leading attribute) sub-characters to add "comedic relief," and voila. You have basically every similar trash romcom ever made, except this one had a terrible script and one of the central parts of the romcom - the comedy part - was entirely missing.
The only good thing that came out of watching it is I hope, in writing this review, I can save other people from the fate of sitting through it.
The plot was basically a minimum effort template film: insert one hot/rich guy, one poor "cool girl," make her enemy another woman, make her competition a shallow/useless but beautiful woman, add two one-dimensional (probably their stupidity as the leading attribute) sub-characters to add "comedic relief," and voila. You have basically every similar trash romcom ever made, except this one had a terrible script and one of the central parts of the romcom - the comedy part - was entirely missing.
The only good thing that came out of watching it is I hope, in writing this review, I can save other people from the fate of sitting through it.
The Vanishing of Sidney Hall
(2017)
Self-congratulatory Drivel Written and Enjoyed by the Emotionally Stunted
30 December 2021
The lack of self-awareness in the writing of this screenplay is unbelievable. I'm not even sure I can classify this as "pretentious nonsense," because it appears the screenwriters really did believe themselves to be doing something groundbreaking. They really thought, somehow, this would break the mould or move the needle in some way by combining every Kerouac-Sallinger-Woody Allen male fantasy trope about success that seems to pair so well with the toxic mixture of uncontrollable desire and unbridled disgust for women.
There is a moment where you think the film is at least attempting to be self-reflexive - pointing out Sidney's absolute narcissism as a metaphor for the writers' own unqualified foray into naval-gazing - narrated in unapologetic detail, and you think that is going to somehow inform the rest of the film, but no. It prattles on like that endlessly - a level of entitlement that is almost humorous: as though both success and oblivion are equally victimising and lamenting this publicly somehow is inherently worthy of the consumption of other people's time.
As with so many books, the authors of this screenplay seem to reveal much more about their own character than they do about the fictitious people they are trying to construct. Even on a shallow viewing it becomes obvious the writers are in desperate need of praise, "suffer" the "unbearable" burden of longing to be qualified as "genius" and grasping (albeit desperately) at anything that might bring them closer to that moniker, and being terrified of the truth of the matter: at best, this is a knockoff of more revolutionary thought, at worst, it's an unintentional indictment of their own insignificance.
Additionally, it's pretty woman-hating. The deaths, abuses, and rapes of women are stories that are only referenced in the context of how they affect the males of this story. The women of this film are never once given their own agency or autonomy or even character beyond the ruinous effects they have on the male psyche.
There is a moment where you think the film is at least attempting to be self-reflexive - pointing out Sidney's absolute narcissism as a metaphor for the writers' own unqualified foray into naval-gazing - narrated in unapologetic detail, and you think that is going to somehow inform the rest of the film, but no. It prattles on like that endlessly - a level of entitlement that is almost humorous: as though both success and oblivion are equally victimising and lamenting this publicly somehow is inherently worthy of the consumption of other people's time.
As with so many books, the authors of this screenplay seem to reveal much more about their own character than they do about the fictitious people they are trying to construct. Even on a shallow viewing it becomes obvious the writers are in desperate need of praise, "suffer" the "unbearable" burden of longing to be qualified as "genius" and grasping (albeit desperately) at anything that might bring them closer to that moniker, and being terrified of the truth of the matter: at best, this is a knockoff of more revolutionary thought, at worst, it's an unintentional indictment of their own insignificance.
Additionally, it's pretty woman-hating. The deaths, abuses, and rapes of women are stories that are only referenced in the context of how they affect the males of this story. The women of this film are never once given their own agency or autonomy or even character beyond the ruinous effects they have on the male psyche.
Cruel Summer
(2021–2023)
13 Reasons Why rip
8 August 2021
It's got real 13 Reasons Why vibes, but it's not done nearly as well. And 13 Reasons Why was an adequate show at best. Also, in a cast of creepy, awkward characters, the creepiest character by far is Mallory Higgins, who substantially detracts from the show.
Warm and Wonderful
21 February 2021
I don't know if I will ever get the quote, 'I know sometimes it feels like we're losing time, but we're gaining it too' out of my head. There was just something so warm and so wholesome and so gentle about this film. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
Scorpion
(2014–2018)
A show written about smart people by people of average intelligence for dumb people
18 February 2021
The show is ridiculous with no understanding of human intelligence or autism. Somehow it's still entertaining, but in an almost insulting way.
To be fair, I've only watched 15 minutes of the first episode, but if I'm being honest, I'll probably watch another episode.
To be fair, I've only watched 15 minutes of the first episode, but if I'm being honest, I'll probably watch another episode.
Superstore
(2015–2021)
How is this not more popular?
21 January 2021
I had never even heard of this show until it was suggested for me on Netflix, and I cannot believe how surprising it is that it is not much more popular. This show is such a pick me up. It's wholesome and sweet and romantic. I audibly laugh out loud at least once every episode. The writing is smart and quick. The characters have unbelievable chemistry, though, to be fair, America Ferrera is such an amazing actor, I would find it shocking if she ever didn't have chemistry with anyone.
On a slightly more serious note, as much as Jonah is considered dweeby by many of his coworkers on the show, I think, overall, his character is such a rare, excellent example of a decent man - which is so rarely seen on television. On tv men are often depicted as narrow, one-dimensional caricatures: domineering, facile, weak, or stupid. Jonah depicts a man with a full spectrum of emotion, strong, kind, gentle, and genuinely concerned about other people - a person of character and real conviction. It adds depth and quality and substance to a hilarious, fun, and often silly show.
On a slightly more serious note, as much as Jonah is considered dweeby by many of his coworkers on the show, I think, overall, his character is such a rare, excellent example of a decent man - which is so rarely seen on television. On tv men are often depicted as narrow, one-dimensional caricatures: domineering, facile, weak, or stupid. Jonah depicts a man with a full spectrum of emotion, strong, kind, gentle, and genuinely concerned about other people - a person of character and real conviction. It adds depth and quality and substance to a hilarious, fun, and often silly show.
Bridgerton
(2020– )
Exquisite
27 December 2020
I've only gotten to episode 3, but it has so effectively pulled me in, I had to pause to review. It reminds me of what an injustice it is that there are no physical markers of heartbreak - no bruises or scars - to keep a record of our agony when we love and lose. It's poignant and painful and artfully acted and positioned to elicit this sort of mournful, relatable feeling.
More broadly, I highly recommend it for its fantastic costumes, decor, colour, and cinematography/lighting. Just absolutely brilliant. I love the diversity of characters, perspectives, and internal voices surfacing with consistency but still there is evolution. Just a remarkable show.
PS, if you are looking for a new netflix boyfriend, Regé-Jean Page will do the job admirably. He's dashing in such a striking way, I audibly said, "Wow," on more than one occasion.
More broadly, I highly recommend it for its fantastic costumes, decor, colour, and cinematography/lighting. Just absolutely brilliant. I love the diversity of characters, perspectives, and internal voices surfacing with consistency but still there is evolution. Just a remarkable show.
PS, if you are looking for a new netflix boyfriend, Regé-Jean Page will do the job admirably. He's dashing in such a striking way, I audibly said, "Wow," on more than one occasion.
A California Christmas
(2020)
Shut it off after 30 minutes
16 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I don't typically go to cheesy Christmas movies for the quality of their acting, the script, or for them to have much of a plot other than "everyone ends up happy at the end," but Jesus, this film was boring, but also, like, pick a lane. Mom dying of cancer, dad and fiance dead from a car accident, the farm is in foreclosure, they're selling baked goods to pay the bills, the main female character is psychotic (guns, unnecessary/explosive hostility). This movie was somehow both waaaaaaay too much and still boring.
Do not recommend.
Do not recommend.
The Queen's Gambit
(2020)
The Pride and Sorrow of Netflix
24 October 2020
The details of this show are brilliant. Even the lighting changes and slight narrowing of focus between the movie's current and flashback timelines that slowly unveil the making and, at times, unmaking of a brilliant mind worked seamlessly to orient the film and the main character, Beth, within the winding storyline.
It's a marvel that somehow nothing in this film is flashy or explosive, but it is still imbued with edge-of-your-seat drama - and all over a series of chess games. I hadn't the slightest idea how they were going to make a chess story engaging, but there it was: all of the intensity of a boxing match fit into a wordless exchange over a monochromatic board game.
Needless to say, I was thoroughly impressed. The actors were subtle, sometimes unnervingly unreadable, leaving one with the very distinct impression of having been a part of a conversation in which no one ever over-explained anything to you, like a traditional production might. No one ever tapped you on the shoulder and whispered in your ear "I smirked, because I am indulging you," or "I laughed, because I enjoyed your joke," but the interactions in this show left you with a sense that the characters were more human, claiming a sensation of more nuanced ambiguity or uncertainty in each exchange. Perhaps more than that, perhaps bequeathing a strange sense of autonomy to Beth and the men of that world as they rarely smiled and often remained veiled as they interacted and internalised the action around them.
The costumes were art.
The only real fault I saw in this show is how each episode seemed to expend a character, only inserting them when Beth had a need of them and disposing of them by the time the plot of that episode had concluded. A veritable rolodex of parental figures, friends, and lovers only existing to be sampled, tried on, and put away wet. I'm sure this decision was to reinforce the idea that Beth is the central character of her own story and chess was her only constant companion, but the expendability of characters that evolved around her felt callous and unrealistic.
Anya Taylor-Joy's performance was excellent - nearly flawless, though, in the first few episodes, her playing a 15-year-old, pretending to be a 13-year-old seemed to lean a little heavily into the absurd.
Finally, while what really drew me to this show was the presence of Thomas Brodie-Sangster', and his perennial ability to sew a distracting level of endearing, cerebral charm into every character I have had the pleasure of watching him play, his costume choices were never contextualised, which made him seen more like a British man dressing up as a "Florida man" for Halloween than a sort of quirky chess player. Generally, I also found the show under-utilised him, shifting him too harshly from role to role as he, in rapid succession, seemed to change into a completely different character in each of the four episodes he was in.
In conclusion, I would highly recommend this television show.
It's a marvel that somehow nothing in this film is flashy or explosive, but it is still imbued with edge-of-your-seat drama - and all over a series of chess games. I hadn't the slightest idea how they were going to make a chess story engaging, but there it was: all of the intensity of a boxing match fit into a wordless exchange over a monochromatic board game.
Needless to say, I was thoroughly impressed. The actors were subtle, sometimes unnervingly unreadable, leaving one with the very distinct impression of having been a part of a conversation in which no one ever over-explained anything to you, like a traditional production might. No one ever tapped you on the shoulder and whispered in your ear "I smirked, because I am indulging you," or "I laughed, because I enjoyed your joke," but the interactions in this show left you with a sense that the characters were more human, claiming a sensation of more nuanced ambiguity or uncertainty in each exchange. Perhaps more than that, perhaps bequeathing a strange sense of autonomy to Beth and the men of that world as they rarely smiled and often remained veiled as they interacted and internalised the action around them.
The costumes were art.
The only real fault I saw in this show is how each episode seemed to expend a character, only inserting them when Beth had a need of them and disposing of them by the time the plot of that episode had concluded. A veritable rolodex of parental figures, friends, and lovers only existing to be sampled, tried on, and put away wet. I'm sure this decision was to reinforce the idea that Beth is the central character of her own story and chess was her only constant companion, but the expendability of characters that evolved around her felt callous and unrealistic.
Anya Taylor-Joy's performance was excellent - nearly flawless, though, in the first few episodes, her playing a 15-year-old, pretending to be a 13-year-old seemed to lean a little heavily into the absurd.
Finally, while what really drew me to this show was the presence of Thomas Brodie-Sangster', and his perennial ability to sew a distracting level of endearing, cerebral charm into every character I have had the pleasure of watching him play, his costume choices were never contextualised, which made him seen more like a British man dressing up as a "Florida man" for Halloween than a sort of quirky chess player. Generally, I also found the show under-utilised him, shifting him too harshly from role to role as he, in rapid succession, seemed to change into a completely different character in each of the four episodes he was in.
In conclusion, I would highly recommend this television show.
Never Have I Ever
(2020–2023)
Jaren Lewison saves this silly show
1 June 2020
All of us are unlikeable sometimes. Perhaps in a misguided attempt at realism, Never Have I Ever flirts with the line of likability aggressively, to the point that Devi has no redeeming qualities. She is annoying, narcissistic, silly, and at times borderline anti-semitic. I suppose there's a world in which someone who has these characteristics also has a redeeming side, but it is not in this show. Devi is opaquely unlikeable.
The only real highlights of the show are when Ben Gross (played by Jaren Lewis) is onscreen. He does an incredible job of portraying an insecure, try-hard guy who is just trying to find his own feet, and there's something relatable and redeeming in his depiction.
Beyond that, the love interest Paxton Hall-Yoshida (played by Darren Barnet) seems inappropriately old to be playing a 16-17 year old, and, more than that, inappropriately old to be Devi's love interest. It's distracting and poor casting.
The only real highlights of the show are when Ben Gross (played by Jaren Lewis) is onscreen. He does an incredible job of portraying an insecure, try-hard guy who is just trying to find his own feet, and there's something relatable and redeeming in his depiction.
Beyond that, the love interest Paxton Hall-Yoshida (played by Darren Barnet) seems inappropriately old to be playing a 16-17 year old, and, more than that, inappropriately old to be Devi's love interest. It's distracting and poor casting.
Let It Snow
(2019)
Unbelievably stilted dialogue
15 November 2019
Everything about this movie was like one of those youtube videos where you watch someone wipe out on a skateboard and their arm snaps in two places, so it swings like a pendulum. Just deep-in-your-stomach ungratifying discomfort. If you're into that sort of thing, enjoy this film.
To be fair, I've never reviewed anything before, but this was a painful thing to watch. Harsh, awkward, non sequitur character development. A perpetual trope of "Look at this character and their thrown-in-your-face quirk that makes them down to earth and relatable" that does not add to the plot or your actual understanding of the character, which is used to somehow counterbalance the complete lack of story telling throughout. Also, the lack of chemistry between ALL characters was impossible not to notice. Relationships developed unevenly, unexpectedly, and unnaturally. I think the characters chemistry can best be described as the best relationship of anyone in the film was between JP and the pig.
To be fair, I've never reviewed anything before, but this was a painful thing to watch. Harsh, awkward, non sequitur character development. A perpetual trope of "Look at this character and their thrown-in-your-face quirk that makes them down to earth and relatable" that does not add to the plot or your actual understanding of the character, which is used to somehow counterbalance the complete lack of story telling throughout. Also, the lack of chemistry between ALL characters was impossible not to notice. Relationships developed unevenly, unexpectedly, and unnaturally. I think the characters chemistry can best be described as the best relationship of anyone in the film was between JP and the pig.
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