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Reviews
Elephant (2003)
film school movie....and that's it
From an artistic, film school standpoint, this movie is spot on. The non-linear path of the film starts off very subtly and once it starts can really make the viewer interested.
Unfortunately, from an entertainment standpoint, the film is dull as dishwater. The view of the sky for 2 minutes in order to send home the point "calm before the storm", the periods of walking...and walking.....and walking, and rarely are the characters shown motivation or reason for their actions. I would never show this movie to a group of friends that want to be entertained. If you want a clinic on camera work and film technique, then play this to a film class, otherwise, play it to fall asleep to.
5 out of ten for technique and innovation.
Silent Hill (2006)
Go away Sean Bean, it's okay if there's no men
This movie had a lot going for it. The actual scenes in Silent Hill are amazing. The only problem (and it's a big one) is the subplot with Sean Bean. Ultimately, his character is completely pointless to the movie. I mean really, there is no point to his character. The town's secret could have been found out easily without him, or that pointless detective. There were far too many points where nothing happens, rather than a steady flow of frightening scenes and plot. Our heroine's plight through the basement was far too short as well. Fighting through those things that don't move a good journey does not make. Take out Sean Bean and give me more Pyramid Head and plot, and you have a damn good movie. With them, you have crap.
Stick It (2006)
Just...wow
So I just returned from Stick It, because my date didn't want to see Silent Hill and we both hate action movies, leaving our options limited. But enough about me, more about this abortion of cinema that is "Stick It".
What would best sum up just why this movie in particular was just so darn bad, was the entire lack of character development. Hailey is our supposed "punk rock rebel" (if you didn't get the hint from the devil's horns symbols over...23 times, highlighted by the "Too much rock for one hand!") who just goes against the grain for...well one would think I would have an answer for that one, but I don't. Her little smart ass comments that are supposed to make her sound witty and deep, turn her into just an ass. Like the kid in the back of class that keeps talking until he says something funny, no matter how stupid his witticisms sound. Way-Way is also subject to the lack of character development. The viewer is never let in on that she might be something of a loser or a nerd, leaving her big balance dance as nothing more than "Let's have an Asian try to be black, teenagers love that stuff!" The viewer does not know who to side with, because all of the characters are not people that would be considered decent human beings. Hailey and her friends are stupid "punks" (my God I use that term lightly), Joanne is the dumb blonde who just mixes words together and that is supposed to be perceived as funny, and .
The only decent thing about the movie is the gymnastics because it is very good, but to have the same anticipation building sequence repeated again and again destroys the beauty that is there.
0 out of 5 1 out of 10
What Dreams May Come (1998)
"Majestically terrible"
While the effects and setting of this film are exceptional and should warrant it a higher rating...the absolute butchering of the book with an unconvincing back story about the kids and dialogue that makes 4th grade drama class more convincing, totally ruined this movie for me.
As much as I love Robin Williams, the poor bastard did not stand a chance with this dialogue. His performance as "Christy" (a very odd deviation from the novel) left me completely unconvinced that this man would give anything for his wife Annie. And what is the deal with Robin Williams and being underwater? Most of his more light-hearted films all center around being underwater, and I honestly cannot stand it. I swear they used stock footage from Hook, but avoided the mermaids.
The whole scene of Hell is also underwhelming to the greatest extent of the word. The line, "This hasn't been a very good day." is meant to lighten the mood, but this is Hell the God's sake! The idea is hopelessness. This is the entire reason for the damn place, not to hear a damned soul make a funny quip about his current suffering.
The flashbacks to his children and Annie reek of hackneyed, overused, Hollywood dialogue that is meant to be heartwarming, but really just made me sick.
For your sake, avoid this movie at all costs. It's pretty, so maybe just turn the sound off and you'll be okay.
Defending Your Life (1991)
Just terrible...
Like most movies that I end up despising for than anything, I honestly gave this thing a try. We had to watch it in a class on the afterlife in school and its premise was interesting....sorta.
One of the biggest problems is the acting. Brooks tries to sound like he's doing stand up comedy in the middle of conversation. Sorry Al, only Jerry Seinfeld can do that (and even Seinfeld can do it badly too). The whole ordeal about Jeeps in the beginning should have given me a hint, but I ignored it. I would think that since the SOB wrote the damn thing that maybe he would give himself a more interesting character. But he doesn't. Rather, Daniel Miller is shown as this supposedly funny guy who by the sheer grace of God (who is conspicuously absent in this whole ordeal, which shows that the only kind of world where Albert Brooks is allowed to write, star, and direct his movies, is in a godless Hell) is able to win over Meryl Streep, for reasons that are too stupid to discuss further.
The other biggest problem is the whole story. I believe Donnie Darko said it best that you can't just combine all human emotion into Fear and Love, it just shows ignorance to the human condition of outside, mitigating circumstances...OK he didn't say the last part, I added that in for fun. But, having Fear and Courage as the basis to get into heaven is just a complete mockery of the divine ideal. To dumb down the afterlife to this human creation of a hearing, with judges and attorneys, just shows that Brooks was attempting to show heaven in a way that can relate to the ever-deteriorating human mind. It fails.
The ending is also so ridiculously predictable. Because he wanted to have sex with Meryl Streep, he gets into heaven, but when he doesn't, that means he's a failure at life? Kind of showing Streep on a pedestal I see. Okay, I want to have sex too. If I impregnate an underage girl, but show courage, then do I get into heaven? Awesome! The only reason this even gets a 2 is because of the Past Lives Pavilion with the sumo wrestler and the girl with the doll. And I mean, that is really it.
Final Destination 3 (2006)
Plot?
Well, having never seen the Final Destination 2, I was pleasantly surprised by this third installment. Not by the acting, dialogue, or plot I promise you. Final Destination 1 was for the plot. The whole originality of it, the unknown and the always guessing made it irresistibly enjoyable. This movie is for the lovers of Saw, but not to that extent. The deaths are, for lack of a better word, fun. You are told just who is going to die and how, but that doesn't matter. There is the smallest hint of unknown that captivates the audience in a manner of, "Wow, I wonder just how bad it's going to look!"
In the back of the theatre, there was a group of people laughing and continually saying, "Oh snap!" or "Bitch got what she asked for!" which really displayed the unattached feeling that the audience feels towards the characters. What I hope, this movie did not try and extract an emotional sympathy and understanding from the audience (they had the first 2 movies to do that), rather it was a method of showing some cool scenarios and getting the audience to collectively scream, "Oh snap!" (which we did)
The biggest problems with the movie are the blindingly unbearable foreshadowing and revealing of character traits. Everything that our little heroine looks at just screams, "Wow, you've already seen this, maybe it will happen again!" The audience just gets annoyed by all of the over-the-top antics of showing deja vu and coincidence. The revealing of character traits is also extremely overbearing. The viewer is told 4 times (maybe more) that our heroine is a control freak. And these are not spaced out and hinted at with symbolism or irony, oh no, that would be too high-brow. For example, when she is in mourning she states something along the lines of, "It hurts I'm such a control freak and I couldn't control their lives." My God almighty!
If you enjoyed the first 2 editions of this trilogy, then by all means buy a ticket. If you like plot, character development, dialogue, and anything else that isn't gore... I hear that Red Eye is pretty good.