Change Your Image
niche-03437
Reviews
Uncharted (2022)
Chloe's "accent" is the perfect analogy for this mess.
Among tge films many, many flaws, Sophia's acting takes the cake.
Not only is this is no way even close to doing the game justice, but Chloe's "Australian accent" is such an insult to Australia lol. As an american I apologise for this travesty.
It was a nothing accent, something of no origin lol. From time to time she makes it sound abit British and a little "kiwi" amongst the whatever tf else she was trying to do. But NONE of it was Australian, not even close!
Not only did she have absolutely no clue how to do an accent, but it even seems like they didn't hire a dialect coach AND the director was like "sounds Australian to me, good enough". 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Madame Web (2024)
This makes a Kevin Sorbo bigoted, xtian C-budget "film" seem Oscar worthy in comparison
35 years....35 and this is easily the worst movie I've ever seen in my life by a mile and that's not hyperbole.
Does anyone remember those TV movies back in the 90s that were made with like $30 and a slab of beer? Or how about current day christian pureflix garbage made on an iPhone lol? The writing, acting, editing, producing, lighting etc etc in that utter garbage runs rings around whatever this was.
This was a nothing burger, there was just absolutely nothing. No plot, no storytelling, no character development, dialogue written by a crackhead with no arms while also high on mushrooms. I mean, I'm literally shocked. How did this even get approved lol? How did they not see it and just cut their losses and pull the film? How did they see this and be like "sweet, put it out there"? Only possitive that came out of this is that the "director" will NEVER get anyother job aslong as they live! WHAT THE ACTUAL F%*@?!
FUBAR (2023)
Why doesn't this suck??
Gets better with every episode.
Funny, action, although incredibly predictable it still has a great story and writing.
Arni also tapped into his 90s action comedy era which I love.
Only part that made my blood boil is Emma.
Betraying, lying to and then cheating on Carter while acting like he's the bad guy hit me hard, ESPECIALLY since that exact scenario happened to me and hit a little too close to home.
I mean, from episode 1 I knew it was comming, but still, she did it TWICE then even blamed her day for telling carter lol.
Anyways, warning to anyone that's been cheated on, that part will make you angry.
That being said, great show.
Oh, and TINA is so mind blowingly gorgeous that she'll make you forget about the show for a second and just be focused on her!
That '90s Show (2023)
Tf makes this about the 90s?
I'm convinced some kid born in 2007 wrote this script based on what he thought the 90s was like. Also, being a "gen z" too lazy to spend 30 seconds on Google to even try and find out what the 90s were actually like lol.
This show is a huge miss, exactly the same forced feel as "that 80s show" that failed miserably.
They didn't even look at that show to find out why it failed. This is like fuller house all over again, "new generation" of dull, boring, forced garbage while being confused between nostalgia and something new, this show as absolutely no idea what it is or what it wants to be, and it will fail due to the simple fact of how amazing that 70s show was.
There's a reason why friends and Seinfeld hasn't been remade with their kids.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
RIP logic, evolution, adaptation and physics.
From the very first opening scene, to the ability to lasso a giant dinosaur on horseback in only the first 10 mins, had me rolling my eyes so much I almost went blind.
This film is made EXACTLY like some Christian creationist and a conspiracy theorists got together to "brainstorm" what they think the world would be like with dinosaurs in it. Apparently the writers, producers and director think you can just stick any animal in any environment and it will thrive.
They also think evolution works in months and a couple years and not tens and even hundreds of millions of years.
I understand this is Sci first, but they're trying to make it believable, you CAN NOT have it both ways, pick a lane!
Then you have the incredibly boring and dragged out plot. They literally might aswell just flipped us the finger at this point.
Possibly the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life and the original cast should be ashamed of themselves for selling out dignity for a quick pay check.
The reviews on this piece of trash are definitely accurate, I mean, how did they direct, edit and produce this, see the end result and be like "yup, this is how a trilogy is supposed to end"? Seen B and C movies from the 80s far superior to whatever this is.
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
How was this ever going to work?
Visuals are again 10/10 but unfortunately that is where it ends.
Sequal has none, and I mean none of the majesty and awe of thie first film and has relied on recycled junk.
I can't imagine how they ever thought this would work let alone make sequals ready to go before simply testing the waters (pun intend) of part 2.
After 13 years this film has made clear that the world has moved on from Avatar and the main character. I mean for the last 13 years Worthington has had bomb after bomb and has all but been forgotten, yet we're expected to be excited about his return? Literally everything that made the first film groundbreaking and breathtaking is absent from this film.
Finally, let's not forget that Cameron, so sure of himself didn't think "it's been a long time, lets just make a sequal and see what happens before making a third". Instead thought "I'm awesome, I'm going to make 4 sequels in a row all at once". 🤣
Me Time (2022)
It's not the lead actors fault.
KH & MW are great comedic actors and always bring the laughs, the writing and plot was just so bad that they could only work with what they were given, they tried lol. Maybe it was their lack of chemistry together plus the script or just the script itself, i mean, that's how bad the script is that you just can't tell. Maybe if this film Was Hart and Ferrel or Wahlberg and ferrrel it would have been a little better?
Netflix is laughable these days, all their good content is owned and taken by disney, their once good original movies are now replaced with B grade ridiculousness. I don't know if this is meant to be a comedy, slapstick comedy or a comedy trying to be a slapstick comedy? Either way, it's not a comedy lol. I don't know what else to say, it was bad....so, so bad 🤣
The Orville: From Unknown Graves (2022)
This is the Orville we we know!
Last couple episodes have been absolutely incredible,
So much storytelling, depth and intrigue.
This episode had the good old orville humour we've missed this season, the bags scene had me laughing way harder than it should have, absolutely nailed the prop comedy!
The Man from Toronto (2022)
Stupid, mindless fun!
It's exactly what you think it is.
With that in mind, no complaints other than the PG-13 hidden violence junk.
Other than that, a fun ride, grab yourself a pizza, sit back and enjoy the absurdity lol.
The Orville: Mortality Paradox (2022)
Incredible!
This episode is absolutely brilliant! Perfectly written and absolutely captivating from start to finish.
Seems like the Orville has turned from a star trek parody (which was what it was supposed to be), to a actual "serious" show that stands on it's own and could actually be in the star trek universe.
I can only assume the way this show has changed is on purpose seing as Seth has been directing from day 1 and there haven't been any new directors and writers. Only reason i gave it a 9 is because i'm not 100% sure if i prefer darker orville or season 1&2 comical orville.
Morbius (2022)
Fell asleep THREE TIMES!
No story, no acting, no character development, tedious and mind numbingly boring! B-movie with A movie budget. Only way this could have been greenlit was with many s3xual favours.
Imagine delaying this junk for 2 years and this mess was the result? I wonder how bad it was before all the choppy editing lol?
Copshop (2021)
Eh...
Acting on point by all, seems like the actors knew the writing was done by a one handed monkey so they worked with what they had.
Good for a one off watch with a pizza.
Very forgettable.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Horrifyingly accurate representation on 2021 politics.
I hate how much i love this film. Very clever take on the world we live in and ESPECIALLY the political environment of the united states.
What's even more disturbing is that real life america would possibly be even more satirical than this film is lol. I mean, 100% fox news would blame the "radical democrats" for the comet and get the far right to believe that jesus would save them lol.
Is it really satire when real life is more satirical?
Such a stupidly entertaining film lol.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Had to turn it off and put on family guy for a palette cleanser
If you got the Pixel movie along with Cats, mashed them together, took a dump on them after some chicken vindaloo and set it on fire, that stinking mess would STILL be better than whatever tf this was.
I've never come across a "movie" more boring. This thing has no idea if it wants the bad acting to be on purpose or campy on purpose.
Throw in a bunch of "woman power" with zero direction and "stupid weak men" and you have Patty Jenkins on a massive crack bender, that's the ONLY explanation. Don't know who's more incompetent, Jenkins or the studio that greenlit this thing after she deffs sucked them off.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Nobody does religion like an Atheist!
Flannigan does it again! Incredible, thought provoking, eerie all while taking the p!$$ out of christianity/catholicism.
The man never misses, a true horror genius.
Fear Street: 1666 (2021)
My EARS!!
I don't know why i expected a rubbish supernatural film series to be "historically accurate", but the the 'actors", writers, producers etc 100% have never met an irish person in their lives lol. Did they watch the 80s film "leprechaun" before making this? Also, african american's playing irish in 1666? They do realise if it were 1666 they'd be slaves right? How do you make the witch the girl from part one and NOT the redhead IRISH girl from part 2? That's like me a eastern eurpoean aying a japanese guy. Man i'm all for mindless horror fun, but part 3's accents, terrible writing and terrible acting ruind all of it.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
Seen scarier things after my morning coffee dump.
This series has gone from entertaining horror, to a boring, dragged out southern, murican uneducation and superstition "documentary".
No scares, it plays more like something straight out of marjorie taylor greenes mind. "Derrrrr, jeebus would never allow ppl to kill, must be satan, satan makes people kill".
A Score to Settle (2019)
Hey man, not too bad at all
For a movie in general, meh, it's a 5/10. But for the 8373662722 cash grab/debt repayment movies Cage does per year, this is a gem amongst them. Cage is in top form and these gems of his are getting more and more common now days. Quite enjoyable.
poor mans john wick, but hey, i didn't even check my phone once the entire movie.
Supernatural: The Heroes' Journey (2020)
Are you serious?!
I made an IMDB account just so i could review this utter disappointment. No wonder this show is ending, can't write a script to save their life. We're half way in and every episode (no matter how horrible) should count towards the plot. What a lazy, wastefull, incredibly stupid filler episode.
If the show wasn't ending, after 15 years of watching, it definitely would have been the last season i tune in. They clearly don't care anymore, what a slap in the face to fans.