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Reviews
Constantine (2005)
John..... John.....
Don't get me wrong here, I absolutely loved the film and I think Keanu is just breathtaking, but did anyone else notice just how many times Shia kept saying "John" or is it just me?
Seriously , watch it again and it is all you will hear.
I may be exaggerating here but I think I heard it something like 20 times in the space of 10 seconds.
If you turn it into a drinking game I 100% think you will end up in a drunken mess on the floor by the end.
In other news, I am glad a second film has been announced. Cannot wait to see it already. I think Keanu is John Constantine as much as he IS John Wick. Oh wait - JOHN ! Why has that never clicked before!
I'll get my shot glasses ready.
A Madea Homecoming (2022)
Grainin on that wood.... Grainin on that wood.......
I know this will be controversial but Tyler Perry as himself in a film = just not that funny.
As Madea however - the guys a genius!!
Best film out of them all hands down. I could not stop laughing at the Rosa Parks scene.
Can also never listen to drunk in love the same ever again 😂
Mother/Android (2021)
K-poop
Was I meant to feel empathy for the two main characters?? Because all throughout the film I had zero! Literally turned everything they touched to cr*p. I heard their son is now a k-pop idol, he's doing well without them. So there's that.
Parallel (2018)
Plot ruined from the offset
What annoyed me about this film is the
Way they just discovered they had an attic. Like, look at the outside of the house, you have 3 floors . The attic has a tower! What did they think those extra windows on the outside of the house were?? I know it's just a film but it's a serious plot point that annoys me.
Stath Lets Flats (2018)
Egg-cellent
Series 3 is by far the best one yet. It's very rare a comedy gets funnier as time goes on but
This one has hit the nail on the head. Love love love!!! Haven't laughed so much in ages!
1917 (2019)
Late to the party
It's been on my "to watch" list for some time but I kept putting it off.
In hindsight I don't know why because WOW. Literally gripped from start to finish.
WW1 often gets overlooked in films but Its These films that remind us just how lucky we
Are to have what we do today thanks to all those amazing service men/women/animals who put their lives on the line all those years ago, twice.
Red Notice (2021)
Mash up
The film over all is like Escape Plan meets National Treasure/ Indiana Jones and Wonder Woman just happened to drop by.
I'm giving it a solid 5 for now but maybe that'll change when I sleep on it. I like all 3 actors separately but I'm a little indifferent right now as to how I feel with them all together.
My Mad Fat Diary (2013)
Literally couldn't care any less
Are we meant to feel sorry for a character who became more hateful, self absorbed, selfish and egotistical as the series went on? Because I know I didn't. Every other character was OK but Rae? Wow what a complete ball ache she was to watch. I skipped some bits because I found myself swearing at the tv when she was on. If this is truly what the real Rachael
Earle was like, what a vile person she was.
The only thing that kept me watching was nostalgia and the 90s soundtrack. Oh and Keith Allen ofcourse.
Free Guy (2021)
Free guy? No thanks.
This is purely just a film where Ryan Reynolds is trying desperately hard to be funny and it just fails miserably. When you force it, it just doesn't work. This film had a lot of potential as a plot but the story is just the worst. Can't stand changing Tatum but I did laugh once or twice at his dancing at the end. I think that was pretty much it. Just don't bother with this.
Old (2021)
Super mole
What the heck did I just watch?? Starting off super interesting then it just got plain ridiculous with such poor acting skills. Are they implying that's what happens as you get older ??
Had so much potential for an excellent story but it's as daft as That mole that kept appearing and disappearing on his face as he got
Older.
Fresh Meat (2011)
Josie is a pile of brown poop
Her character ruins the whole show. I hate her. It wouldn't be too bad if they took her out, made Oregon less of a bell end and made Kingsley mildly interesting.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
The Mandela effect
Wait...... what?!?? It's not Looney TOONS?!
I am so confused.
Future Man (2017)
The more I watch the better it gets!
I've slowly increased my rating the more I get into this.
Absolutely hilarious but so subtle with some of the jokes you could easily miss them. I put subtitles on and read small comments being made in the background by characters I would've otherwise missed.
It's just So cleverly written and the actors are just made for this show !!
Friends: The Reunion (2021)
My eyes were confused
No one is mentioning it in the reviews but I honestly couldn't get past the amount of Botox I was seeing on the stage. Something just seemed so off with them all
Would've scored higher, James cordon ruined it. Why must that absolute bell be in everything.
Thunder Force (2021)
Blunder Farce
All this film did was give me cravings for crab with parsley butter.
Love and Monsters (2020)
No animals were harmed in the making of the film
Watched it with my kid - she really loved it.
Me however, Every min of the film was ..... "where's the dog??" "Is the dog alive"
"What if a monster gets the dog??" "What does the dog eat??" "Who picks up the poop" "is the dog micro chipped?"
I became far too invested, my poor heart couldn't take the thought of any dog peril the whole film. John Wick did that to me. Dammit.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Hahahaha
I haven't laughed so much at a film in ages -
So thanks for that!
Other than the awful mall scene, what was the whole point of it being set in the 80s?! There was literally nothing else 80s about the film.
Even American Horror got that bit right
I'd put this film on par with the all female Ghostbusters film - it was that bad
Justice League (2017)
Comparison
How do you best compare this film to the Snyder cut? Think of this one as Squidward and the other one as Handsome Squidward.
That should do it.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Hot dog diggity dog
The only thing that disappointed me was I honestly thought the Flash was going to start putting the hotdog in and out that girls mouth. That didn't happen.
I need time to reflect on this so 5 is a good neutral score until then.
Only time will tell on my final decision
Edit 3hrs later : Ok so the hotdog never came back which is upsetting , but it did get better.
Overall , 8 thumbs up.
Somewhere Between (2017)
Almost Speechless
I honestly have to say I didn't even want the kid to come back. Don't even get me started on Paulas acting! Devon Sawa pretty much earns these 3 stars for the show just by himself. I even routed for his assistant more than I did for Paula and her annoying brat of a kid.
Diana (2013)
Who gave the green light?!
Lol - Lifetime movies are a million times better than this and they have smaller budgets!
Even those Channel 5 B movies beat this hands down!
Are We Done Yet? (2007)
Chuck Mitchell
That guy and his many hats made this whole film in my opinion. Ice cube plays the exact same
Role as the first film and you don't really see the kids in this one as much which is a shame.
If you like a film about house renovation going wrong then I suggest you watch that one with Tom Hanks that I can't remember the name off. (You're on IMDb , go find it).
It's a good entertaining watch overall.
Gaslit (2019)
Stabby stabby
Obvious what's going to happen in the film from the very start. I'll be honest, I enjoy a good ole B movie time to time and this is one that really gave me some
Laughs. I don't think it's meant to be a comedy but watching that neighbour handle a knife was the best scene in the whole film. She made it right there!
Useless Humans (2020)
No brainer
It'ol never be the most amazing film you've ever seen but if you fancy watching something that doesn't require all your brain cells to function then here it is. I admit that me and my one brain cell rather enjoyed it...... on reflection.
Follow Me (2020)
Same old same old
Saw the ending a mile off. If you're looking for
Something to have on in the background whilst playing with your phone then this is the film for you.