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collinatthebeach
Reviews
Mulan (2020)
For Chinese Audience, boring (spoils)
Mulan rides on the coattails of my favorite Disney cartoon and strips it of everything compelling and entertaining. Let's take emotional impactful scenes such as the introduction of the Huns, The role-call of the enlistment of the families, Mulan fighting about her place in family and leaving home that give the original movie it's beautiful identity. This movie makes those emotion-filled scenes, and well reduces it monotone, un-dramatic scenes. The dialogue is so bad, oh my God... The threat of the Huns or what ever they're called in this is nothing compared to that of the first one. The lack of showing the Huns in the cartoon and just their destruction made them seem that much more menacing. This movie strips that all away. All of it. Mulan's trials to overcome her constraints as a sheltered woman to become the strongest amongst the troops? None of that. She's OP from the start with her chi. And the whole time the only problem in the movie is not her hiding her disguise but her guilt of hiding it. The whole reason was to save her family and not risk her own family's honor. This time, there's no threat of such, there's no threat at all, and the sequence of events to get to that wasn't compelling, she had a fight, she wasn't as strong since she was 'lying to herself'. Like what? You aren't lying to yourself, you're literally saving your dad, and giving your family honor and keeping it a secret to others, it's not a moral dilemma, BUT I SUPPOSE TO THE CHINESE STATE, DO NOT LIE TO THE STATE NO MATTER WHAT ITS ABOUT I GUESS. That is glossed over and just like, 'oh I want to show how strong Mulan is'. And when you take out Mushu, No Eddie Murphy? No entertaining side character? Wow, it's dull. You may ask while watching this, oh it's bad but not bad enough to walk out of. It is that bad. It literally is so bad, I felt like walking out, but I couldn't cuz someone bought it and I didn't wanna be rude. But it was funny we all wanted to leave but felt it would be rude, even the person that bought it. I could write a book on how this movie sucks. I'm thinking of the meme template of The Godfather saying 'look how they killed my boy'. Look, I hate Disney's live action adaptations, only one I could tolerate was Beauty and the Beast. But when you strip a movie of funny scenes you have to replace it with something right? NOPE! Just make the most monotone, dialogue. OH MULAN JUST LEFT HOME, if we get her the army will kill her, the dialogue was so monotone and it was the writers were a bunch of 3rd graders. I am critical of movies, especially when I hold very special place in my heart for its original. I can say, this is perhaps the worst movie I have seen in a long time. Shame on Disney. Making people pay 30 bucks for this garbage. Hamilton was FREE????!!?!!? BUT THIS WAS 30 BUCKS!??!!? Dude, hope the Chinese government censors and you make no money cuz one of the characters resembles Winnie the Pooh.
Trevor Noah: Afraid of the Dark (2017)
Catered to specific audience
Warning contains spoilers. I will give credit where its due. I was grinning and smiling at parts, his impressions were excellent. However, his high points were canceled out by my disappointment in some of the jokes. Taking the place of Jon Stewart, an excellent comedian that many looked up too, he did twist the narrative with the Brit joke like with the migrant problem which I don't like. People need to read up on the migrant crisis happening in Europe, not dismiss it by calling those that oppose it as racist. Heck I'm Irish and I love a good Brit joke as much as the next but, the Brit jokes were overboard and well outright demeaning, but that would be fine IF you didn't only bash Brits. If we are gonna make political pieces like that, at least extend an olive branch. I laughed to the punch-line to the long drawn-out preachy African-Americans going back to Africa piece. The jokes are catered to make groups of people feel good about themselves. He catered a lot to women, getting very preachy, the p***y joke very outplayed. I love Obama, but again, catering to lovers of Obama, playing on popular opinions. Most of his pieces that weren't political at all were just boring. I had just watched Dave Chappelle's Netflix Special and no one was safe. Its sad that now comedians are not willing to hit hot button issues and instead well, bash men, whites, and racists (that are white and male) while holding everyone else on a pedestal. Comedy should bring people together, not bash one side and praise the other, bring equality, bash everyone Trev.