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michael_sluka
Reviews
Crossings (1986)
They made 'em much better 28 years ago
I discovered this mini-series just this year after perusing Lee Horsely's filmography here and I promptly procured the DVD from one of the online old-movie vendors. I'm now ending my second viewing. I guess this 1986 offering is old-school now, but it makes current day romance movie offerings from Hallmark seem like 3rd grade productions. The sets are so much more expansive and the actors are in a totally different category of skill. The longing glances cast by Cheryl Ladd feel palpable even on a two-dimensional screen. Jane Seymour's various facial expressions tell the viewer more than 10 lines of dialogue. Lee Horsely came off like a man's man gentleman in every scene. If you want a palpable romance story interwoven with some WW2 classic war drama, give this a watch.
Christmas Bake-Off (2023)
An improved storyline, but still screenplayed poorly at key moments
As some other reviewers noted, the storyline moved along well. While the bakery theme is not too far off the usual themes, the perfunctory "conflict" moment was not too contrived. I find Christopher Russell to almost always deliver a likable, charming character and manages to avoid coming off looking like the bumbling idiot in front of the girl which is such a staple of this Hallmark type genre. The romantic chemistry was there, although Laura Osmes actually delivered that better than Russell. Why didn't he kiss her upon leaving after the family dinner? When she says 'I love you' at the end, why didn't he actually say that too? I sometimes wonder if these HM screenplay writers have any firsthand knowledge of how a normal male reacts under feelings of sexual attraction? One thing we don't do is just stand there, not saying or doing anything.
The Death and Life of Bobby Z (2007)
Not an Oscar, but better than you might think.
As the trivia comments to the movie reveal, this started out intended to be a theatrical release, but ended up going straight to video. It does offer Paul Walker in his tragically abbreviated heyday, an Olivia Wilde at the peak of her smoke show looks and long actor resume Laurence Fishburn. On the flip side, the storyline is simple except for the last 15 minutes or so when the plot twists reveal themselves. The scenery is mostly boring desert and except for the periodic action scenes, moves along a bit on the slow side. So, unless you are a fan of Walker and/or Wilde, you may not find it engaging. In my case, I think Paul Walker had a talent for delivering an engaging character no matter the role given....he can play a less than perfect character role, yet you still root for him. As for Wilde, it looked like she was being cast for not much more than 5 minutes in a bikini and another 5 in lingerie, but stick with it until the end and her character develops. It is not highbrow fare, but Walker's character draws you in more the longer you watch. Not the action level of Fast and Furious, but enough to scratch that itch if you have it. It ultimately is an 'against-all-odds' happy ending flick.
Date with Love (2016)
Fresh story, reasonable acting, curtailed ending
I am always pleasantly surprised when Hallmark story writers gives us something other than their over-decorated Christmas set, a pumpkin patch or an old-school diner. The same goes for a plot line that doesn't have one of the leads returning to their hometown for some reason. So, credit for something different. As for a cheesy beginning, well, Hallmark does cheese for a living. Better the beginning than the end. As for the end, it wasn't cheese, it was cringe. Andrew Walker and Shenae Grimes make for an attractive couple and while the 'romantic' progression was well-paced during the main part of the film, the final minute was bad even for Hallmark. There is the trademark kiss to end the movie, but if it is to be believed that Shenae Grimes is ready to postpone a Hollywood career for a high school teacher, the kiss needs to be a bit more passionate and longer than what was scripted. I thought the leads did a good job evolving the chemistry until this final shot....which looked like minimal chemistry between actors and subjected to a director's stopwatch.
Heirloom (2016)
A cool little show that went nowhere
And apparently got cancelled right when the love triangle arrives at the doorstep. It is a very slow moving screenplay.....the 9 episodes could easily have been only 6 without losing any plot line. But it is quirky and campy, as is the female lead. It is easy to root for her as she faces her relocation and career obstacles. Beyond our 'heroine', there are 2 male suitors and one girlfriend confidante. They all seem to act out their assigned characters credibly. The plot line could have easily developed in a number of directions, but alas this abbreviated series 'died on the vine'.....pun intended.
Hit Man (2023)
Did I enjoy it? Yes, very much so
Scanning the 107 reviews here already, I have no interest in adding another dissection of the frog. For me, I fully enjoyed Anyone But You. Thus, I had an initial hesitation about watching this solely because I thought it would come out to be a letdown by comparison. But no, Glen Powell signed on to another entertaining extra-base hit. He showed good range between his two characters and has a natural charisma to him. I'm not the least bit bothered by the ending....some reviewer above complained about 'killing the honest cop'....excuse me?....blackmail/extortion extols someone's honesty? Neither the abusive husband's nor the sleazy, opportunistic cop's demise put me off. They were threats to the protagonists' life (and/or life together). Nor do I have no complaints about the female lead's appearance, mannerisms or acting ability. She was perfectly fine for the role. The chemistry quotient between the leads was adequate for the job. This is an easy movie to just sit back and enjoy. It has some plot twists to provide a little edge, but not so much to be hard to follow.
White Collar: Parting Shots (2012)
Laura Vandervoot is a 10 rating
While the actual plot in this episode is average for WC, garnering a 7-8 in my book, the sub-plot casting Laura Vandervoot as Neal's episodic romantic pairing was phenomenal. Can you imagine what their offspring would look like? Boy or girl, the genetic blend would be magazine cover material. As a true bonus, their on-screen chemistry together was as good as anything I've previously seen with Sara, Alex or Alexandra D'Addio. Above all, she played her role perfectly. This episode is in the books as one of my true favorites over the six season span. That's why I am rewatching it in 2024.
As of this posting date, we have the rumors of a WC re-boot series. If so, I would love to see LV being brought back in a principal character role.
Love Struck Café (2017)
Better than average HM movie
I enjoy Andrew Walker as a lead and fortunately, the script made him reasonably likable and competent except for acting like a complete jerk lacking any shred of 'fighting for his girl' when the Chicago fiancé shows up. The female lead was a nice surprise since I had not seen her in any other HM productions. I think she is quite attractive and remained genuine despite the unrealistic demands of her jerky boss. The supporting cast was all good. Some reviewers saw no chemistry between the leads, but I felt it was there throughout, despite Walker's character being somewhat incompetent in pursuing a relationship. Normally, I cringe several times during a Hallmark script but this time only once (see first sentence).
Appetite for Love (2016)
Sweet premise, but you can't build a story on utter ridiculousness
Like others here, Andrew Walker and Taylor Cole being paired drew me to watch this movie. I get the premise appeal of a gentrified woman returning to her country roots and running into her childhood country boy flame. I can normally allow for some flaws and suspension of reality in these Hallmark scripts, but, in this case, the basic story could simply not happen in real life. No corporation pays to buy out an existing brand unless 1) they want to acquire the existing customer base or 2) they want to acquire the product/service/technology. In this movie, it is obvious 'ICB' wants neither the existing customers who want the original menu nor do they want the original menu/recipes. If you want to have stores in more locations, the corporation simply buys the land to build their own stores for far less money required. And what father sells out his business without informing his adult son while at the same time expects that the son will just hang around as manage the sold business? Ridiculous! And why does Andrew Walker have to borrow $100,000 from the bank when he appears to be the sole heir to his father's sales proceeds? Unbelievable! I gave points for casting Walker and Cole as well as their acting/chemistry. But sorry, this particular Hallmark script is so, so flawed with mistakes, I can't consider it a good movie.
Bottled with Love (2019)
Hallmark, take a note, this is how romance works
When I sit down to watch a romance, I don't care if the storyline resembles some other movie.....I'm not evaluating for an Oscar nomination for original screenplay. While scenic locations and high quality sets are a bonus, these are not ultimately crucial to me.
What is crucial is casting actors that would logically find each other attractive in real life. I realize Hallmark creates their product for women viewers. Therefore, they advertise 25-30 "Hallmark Hunks" all the time, even though, as a male, there are only about 5-6 Hallmark males that I would rate as actually good-looking men. Good thing they don't advertise "Hallmark Hotties" because they only have 5-6 truly attractive women leads. So, unless I see a pairing that I believe would be attracted to each other's looks IRL, I won't watch. This is one of only a handful of Hallmark productions where both leads qualify as attractive.
What is also crucial to me is scripting how romance actually works in real life. True romance begins at first glance...or, in this case, first conversation.. I didn't say love. But, as a male, if I find a woman attractive, I don't stutter, act goofy or awkward or allow an opening to show my attraction to her go by not acted upon. What 90% of Hallmark movies do is have the male lead act like a stiff piece of cardboard who can't deliver engaging romantic repartee to save his life, but magically comes up with the nerve to lay a kiss as the credits role even though he did nothing to earn it during the movie. In this case, the 'romance' is being played out throughout the movie, so the kiss at the end doesn't come out of nowhere.
I'm giving this Hallmark movie my first '9' since i felt it actually came close to portraying a pairing that could have actually materialized.
Icing on the Cake (2020)
Save the female lead and throw the rest in a waste can
The female lead was engaging and cute. While scripted to be a naive soul, she nonetheless acted the part of a sweet but gullible person well. I give her an 8. The male lead delivered his lines ok, but his script was soooo horribly bad, I have to paint him with personal fault for accepting a role for which the script is for the most gutless man to walk the face of the earth. Failing to explain who he was and failing to take a strong stand with his father makes any viewing person with a Y chromosome cringe to the point of disbelief. Men so devoid of character (and cajones) should not be showcased in a family values movie.
As others have said, except for the father role, the other character roles could have actually been left out of the movie without impacting the story.
Wedding Season (2023)
Definitely ho-hum
Not that Hallmark writers are known for generating Emmy-award winning scripts, but this one didn't even make it to the usual low bar for the channel. Not the least bit of storyline excitement or true humor. And if this was the level of passion the two leads exhibited during what should be the time of maximum romantic infatuation with each other, then the presumptive future marriage should likely lead to a life of sheer boredom in no time flat. The female lead was mildly engaging, but not to a level of magnetism. The male lead's salary could have been saved by using a cardboard cut-out during filming.
A Harvest Homecoming (2023)
It had potential to be very good, but then the script got in the way
Donovan and Lowndes are two of only a few Hallmark actors I will watch, so having them paired gave me some hope for a truly engaging (and believable) Hallmark movie (these are few and far between). I have seen each of these actors in other movies where they really come across well. Lowndes was also good in her role in this movie, and she was aided by scripting that made her convincing for this particular single mother role. Unfortunately, the script for Donovan was 85% cringe for a straight male viewer to watch. No 30-something adult male who has enough education to be a school teacher, much less a 'language arts' teacher, would act and talk like the buffoon he was scripted to be in interacting with a person of romantic interest.
I agree the movie set was low-budget, but that did not bother me as much as the low-budget script writer they hired for Donovan (and the grandfather for that matter). Why does Hallmark like to portray male leads as indecisive, clumsy, blithering wimps?
Tracker (2024)
Not saying much, but it's the best available on 2024 television
Given the times, most every tv/tv movie script has to present the male lead as a flawed person, while the surrounding cast of non-males and/or people of non-Caucasian origin are always presented as competent in their supporting roles. While Colter Shaw is scripted with the requisite flaw of a strange upbringing, it is amazing the script suggests he has somehow nonetheless achieved some competency in life. He doesn't embarrass is XY chromosome composition and that's why I like it. That's probably also the reason why Reacher, the Witcher, Night Agent generate good viewing numbers. Who knew the world would respond positively to the idea a man can be competent?
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)
Not Oscar stuff, but an enjoyable watch
When a 2 hour runtime goes by without you noticing, that qualifies as an enjoyable/engaging film for me. There's no heavy lifting here for the actors, except for the British government characters, which was passable but a bit overdone by means of stereotype. Otherwise, it is action with comedic overtones. Ritchson has a somewhat lesser role than Cavill in terms of elapsed time, but overshadows him by means of both script and role likeability. Honorable mention to the female protagonist and principal Nazi antagonist....both brought their characters to goal line. I'm sure the real story played out with more grit and less ease of success, but why spoil a romp with true drama.
Twas the Text Before Christmas (2023)
Same old, same old
I realize that GAF productions are obviously meant to be in the same ('tame") genre as another production company that makes you think of greeting cards, but geez, I was hoping GAF would 'up the game' a bit.
I enjoy the 'happy ending' romance genre with a certain select few of these actors (both male and female) but it doesn't mean I enjoy the same last 2 minute formula in so many of both companies' script-writing. Why are the characters scripted to be so annoyingly reluctant to express a bit of passion before the final seconds? As a male, I can't possibly fathom being such a dork in the company of a woman I am attracted to for so long of a time. It could work on occasion, but we are subjected to brainlessness most every time. I know that anything more than a close-mouth kiss is not going to be 'family-friendly, but do you really need to teach kids to be timid in expressing feelings to maintain family-friendly? How about you script a few where the relationship materializes in the first half of the movie and then have a story built around what transpires next?....just a thought to break some new ground. Unfortunately, the scripting in this movie, like so many from both these production houses, leave the viewer feeling the leads have no real chemistry throughout the movie, so much so that the ending comes across as effectively contrived.
Home Song (1996)
Predictable, but watchable
The IMDB summary gives you the whole movie but the ending. And once you read this plot premise, you know it can end only one of two ways.....and you can lay pretty good odds on which way will go. So, much of the 124 minute runtime is filled with the uncomfortable anguish of all the affected characters, except for grandpa, as they wrestle through the typical drama of such a circumstance. The anguish tends toward the melodramatic at times, but since you've got 6 characters to get through, you do get some variation off the same theme, which makes it watchable. The principal characters are all Hollywood good-looking and are otherwise portrayed as accomplished for their respective ages, which keeps this from being a 'sad' movie along the way.
Hawkeye (1994)
Action/Adventure Epic
I stumbled on this on FreeVee almost 30 years after its original airing. I guess I was too busy raising teenagers to notice it back then. The pre-Revolutionary War setting and history drew me in, but the action/adventure and intrigue kept me viewing all 22 episodes the last week or so. Each episode presents its own plots, with the principal characters growing/evolving within. As you can easily guess by the advertising jacket, Lee Horsely and Lynda Carter develop a romantic relationship, but put on a painfully slow-burn due to reasons within the story. Aside from the bloodshed necessitated by the French and Indian War surrounding the storyline, this is 'family values' viewing. A few episodes go into PG-13 level circumstances, but these are handled with carefully crafted morality lessons. It was a great watch...I am hoping I can unearth more gems like this.
Argylle (2024)
Beware the totally misleading trailer released
To make you think you will be seeing a movie with A-list actors only to be given 2 minutes of their screen time with B list actors making up the other 2 hours and 8 minutes. This is a silly movie along the lines of Kingsman and The Spy Who Shagged Me. You need only watch the free trailer to see the bulk of A list actor time. There is a lot of plot misdirection and some funny lines, which is the good. The bad is the complete scam of building a trailer off of first two minute cameos by high-draw actors but then running the remainder of the movie without them and a run time that is about 45 minutes too long. The B list actors do ok, but if their as good as the positive reviewers here say they are...why was the trailer constructed without all their fabulous acting scenes?
Zorro (2024)
Watchable, but not a 'strong' Zorro per se
I'm old enough to have seen all the Zorro productions first hand since Guy Williams. On one hand, the numerous plot branches introduced here keep the 10 episodes from being repetitious, but at the same time, tend to diminish the 'hero' aspect of the Zorro lead, as he manages more to survive all of his antagonists than vanquish them. The original Zorros were cast as patsy Diegos contrasted with strong and noble Zorros. Here, the contrast is less stark.... Diego is more competent, except when interacting with 'Lolita' and Zorro is more fallible, both in fighting antagonists and character nobility. The acting itself is adequate with most of the principal actors, I just think the dialogue and screenplay construction doesn't do the Zorro concept full justice.
Tiptoes (2002)
Interesting premise, but the ensuing storyline (writing) falls miserably
Certainly, a story premise that has not been done dozens of times before...so kudos for the idea and kudos for the acting.... MM, GO and KB all do well despite limited meaningful lines to deliver. These are the 3 'serious' acting roles.....everybody else have cornball roles to play, so even if they do reasonably well with their character, nonetheless the serious story takes a backseat in elapsed screen time for relatively unimportant or cheesy, lowbrow humor scenes. The writer(s) should have used that wasted time to develop more of why McConaughey's character is ultimately flawed, more on how MM's and KB's marriage just falls apart after the birth, why KB just automatically writes MM off as a partner and a father going forward and falls for GO's little person character, both as a father....and a lover? I prefer movies that introduce and then develop characters' backstory from which a logical new story flows....in this instance, it feels like the main characters were just inserted into a pre-ordained outcome and you're left 'guessing' as to why that outcome is logical. If you want to be increasingly unsatisfied as the screenplay roles out, be sure to add this movie to your watchlist.
The Last Kingdom (2015)
Bring it back
There is certainly enough left in Bernard Cromwell's books to complete a Season 5 and 6 of this glorious piece of entertainment....and if you ask me, slow the years' progression down a bit and make it an 8 season run. Then you can quit. I also think 10 episodes doesn't cure the "Jones-ing" for fans. Make it at least 15 espisodes next season.
El dragón (2019)
Highly entertaining despite lack of realism
The characters are entertaining, although sometimes cartoonishly so.
The storyline premise is believable in principle, but it's ruined by script writers' lack of knowledge how the real world works. For one example, what United States IRS agent gets to jaunt around on the government dime chasing a foreign national on some wild-a*s hunch (and complete lack of knowledge of income tax law) he owes U.S. income tax? C'mon! And at least have him and his cohorts speak English in the Miami office and dub in for the Latin audience. At least have him chased around by the SEC/FBI for possible insider trading and stock price manipulation, not the IRS and one local cop, neither of whom have any chance of working together on a real world case and neither of whom would have any jurisdictional reason to give to their superiors. Second example, how does Tashco find out everyplace Miguel is going to be in and around Mexico and manages to get there ahead of time ready to shoot him? Third, what tech-savvy crime lord doesn't have security cameras in his house?
I am halfway through season 1, I will stick with it because it is entertaining and I like the protagonist crime boss using brain, not brawn (mostly) and the females are mostly easy on the eyes.....however, I will cringe mightily every time the script travels beyond the city limits of Cuidad Jimenez and basic drug trafficking business.
The Witcher (2019)
Last 3 episodes...."What the **** happened to this great show?!!
I'm rating a 9 based on the first 2 2/3rds season......however, the last 3 episodes of S3 released were not worth the time spent watching.
If the screen writing is going to be this off topic, drawn out and boring going forward and there is no Henry Cavill playing Geralt, then they should have had the intelligence to end it on a high-note with Geralt and Yennifer at the Mages' Ball.
The Last Kingdom: Episode #2.8 (2017)
Easily in my Top 10 historical/fictional drama series of all time
If you're reading this, you likely already have seen this series start to finish and can write better detailed reviews than I care to.
Rather, if you're old enough to remember the 80's miniseries, the 90s-200's HBO programming, then I will submit The Last Kingdom is right up there with Aspen, Rich Man/Poor Man, Thornbirds, Band of Brothers, The Pacific, early Sopranos, Six Feet Under, The Musketeers and Rome.
And even if you like your viewing less cerebral, this is also up there with Statham, Craig, Crowe and Diesel/Walker.
Not only do I crave more renewal seasons, how about 20 episodes per season?