bornbranded Reviews

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

Promising start unravels into screenwriter's narcissistic musings

[3/10 · 11 May 2024]

The film starts off well, with a group of apes establishing the importance of their culture, families and group roles. The interactions between the apes are endearing.

After an hour of this, the film goes into how this world collapses, yand we're introduced to ambitious, destructive forces and their drives (the Cult of Cesar, remnants of human technology, desire for control over other apes, and intelligence as a primer for violence and exploitation).

There's also a preachy tone taken on Cesar, who is mentioned as an almost religious figure who is misused to justify violence, by the very aggressive apes. It's obviously a critique of Christians misusing Christ's words. I guess that happens sometimes, but I don't go see a movie about super intelligent apes to be lectured about these kinds of topics.

Hollywood needs to start giving their screenwriters Prozac.

Abigail (2024)

Dissatisfied: fails to deliver on an amazing first act

[5/10 · 19 April 2024]

The film has a very promising first 30 (or so) minutes, full of tension and sense of journey. They thread the needle and kidnap the little girl.

After that, we have glimmers of the writers perhaps giving us some motivation on the characters' parts, so that we know why they want to do this kidnapping job - which then allows us to hopefully care about, and want to remain with, the crew (or at least some of them) throughout this journey.

I was hoping for more inner and outer conflict, transformation (why might one of them, from the outset, want to be a vampire?) and dramatic content ('She's just a little girl,' 'She's a monster,' 'You got us into this,' 'Why did you go into that room with a little girl, all alone? Are you a pervert?' 'Your greed got us into this.'); but the writers spent nearly all their energy on 'Joey' and her baggage - rather than exploring what was right in front of them: 'a little girl' and instinctual adult human reaction to human children.

Our crew, instead of being put through a psychological ordeal, are treated like a bunch of SAW characters - in the worst possible sense (props for carnage, rather than people). The writers failed to make the story meaningfully relatable, emotional or intelligent.

Examples where the writing was done well and could have gone deeper are the romantic war between the Sammy and Dean characters, but this effort was abruptly abandoned by the writers or whoever edited the final cut of the script. You also have the Frank character interact with Abigail in a very provocative manner, but then that's also abandoned very early on, and Frank just becomes a raging goon, with no personality.

Finally, the movie then just defaults to a whiny 'mom misses her son and must survive' storyline, with Joey (whose son you only know about through a voicemail message) trying to survive because of formulaic reasons and feelings. And, pray tell, why should the viewer care about the son, when Abigail and the rest of the crew are right there for Joey to interact with? Where's the dramatic content in dwelling on something like a faceless boy?

I do want to give some credit to the writers on their treatment of the Angus Cloud character. His interest in the Sammy (Kathryn Newton) character was the one highlight, as I went deeper into the film. It had what I wished was done with the other characters. Dean (Angus) was shown to be obsessed with image, money and the pretty blonde, which lined up well with what we see in the beginning of the film (in terms of character keys), as he listens to a decadent rap song about girls and money.

Overall, the film fails and leaves filmgoers of the sort that I am dissatisfied.

Civil War (2024)

Shockingly bad for a theatrical release

[1/10 · 14 April 2024]

I'm not ideologically driven in giving my opinion, herein, and would have given a positive review, if the film was well done. In reviewing this as a 1-star out of 10-stars film, I really just want to emphasize how bad it was - for a major, star-studded, big budget film. There was very little drama or tension, zero character study, zero sense of why photography was meaningful for the characters and no 'Journey of the hero' element, i.e., growth or transformation.

What you get, instead, is a few corny joke moments (ala the worst of the Marvel genre) and a few deaths of characters you never come to care about - since their worldviews are unknown.

In relation to the exciting trailer that brought many of us to America's box offices, this speculative future was not explained and the scene from which marketers drew the trailer is all you get, when watching the film, in terms of an explanation of just what the heck went wrong in this 'New Civil War' conception.

Adding to the lack of an immersive quality, none of the sets were expansive; and they gave ZERO impression that the whole City of New York was in chaos. It felt like everyone was in a cordoned off section of the City. The only other sets used on the film were of a gas station and a country road and field, along with a highway and DC is merely the White House. Again, also feel like a cordoned off set.

I'm sure there are techniques for making these small sets seem like parts of huge cities, like showing extras looking in shock from their apartment windows, etc.

As someone who loves, and has studied film, this is terribly made. From the writing to the acting and directing, this movie is poorly made and painful to watch. Do yourself a favor and stay away.

3022 (2019)

Underrated Gem

[8/10 · 9 June 2020]

If you are a lover of film, literature and understand platonic elements of drama - this is for you. Pivotal to film is not whether or not people would smoke cigarettes in space.

Film is art. And, as we know, art imitates life: it's a sci-fi cloaked descent into an inner, interpersonal and cosmic battle for self-fulfillment and survival.

The acting is great, the writing is rich in character and character motivation. The story is written in a flashback style that really works, and it has that atmospheric element of set-in-space sci-fi that makes this sub-genre so uniquely enjoyable.

Ignore the naysayers, strap into your seat and enjoy!

Captain Marvel (2019)

Godawful Goonery

[1/10 · 29 April 2019]

This film was truly awful. The acting, the writing, the storyline. It was all heart-shattering. Midway into the film, I really wanted to get up and leave - but I wanted to get something out of my $18 ticket, so I stayed. I wish I had, instead, given up and left.

After reading IMDB, which I normally distrust, I believe that, had I checked reviews on this film, the overflow of negativity on this film would have convinced me to avoid this egg-bomb of a movie.

No solid plot, no solid character conflict, no real villain, the plot twist was not interesting or anything that was properly built up to. I really think Hollywood needs to give projects to really skilled talent, such as Leigh Whanell, writer and director of Upgrade (2018).

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Wimpy Followup to Snaptastic Infinity War

[5/10 · 29 April 2019]

I really wanted to enjoy Endgame, after how amazing of a film I found Infinity War to be. It just lacked 'good vs bad' conflict that makes for dramatic tension and edge-of-seat viewing experience.

Moreover, the majority of Avengers weren't brought into the film, until nearly the end. They also made the Earth free of Thanos and his minions, so there was no sense of "quest" in the film. The characters were more involved in convincing one another to join the battle against Thanos - but those efforts were not developed - which made the story flat.

Ultimately, as a student of dramatic prose, I am disappointed. After seeing Captain Marvel and this turkey, I am back to boycotting Marvel films.

Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018 TV Special)

Disappointing, non-stop whine-fest.

[1/10 · 29 August 2018]

Wanted to see this, because it got such great reviews. Thought it'd be a good comedy stand up performance from a gay perspective - but it's awful, no jokes, no clever punchlines - crying and whining about being gay. Awful stuff. I don't know why people rate this so highly.

Upgrade (2018)

Cheers to Leigh Whannell

[9/10 · 17 June 2018]

I had to look up the writer on this film, as I thoroughly enjoyed the twists, themes, irony, etc., presented throughout this film. Of further interest, I discovered the writer also directed the film, which shows this is someone who really believed in his work and was not just writing for a payday.

To viewers, I highly recommend this film: theater was raucous with laughter, cheering and excitement at the great fight scenes, twists and dialogue. Unfortunately, this film is nearing the end of its run in theaters - even though it was selling out the limited seats allotted to it.

With so many turkeys out there: Hotel Artemis, Hereditary, Incredibles 2, I encourage people to check this out.

Incredibles 2 (2018)

Am I alone in hating this movie?

[3/10 · 17 June 2018]

This movie is getting so many effusive critic and fan reviews, of which I did not know until after I saw it. I was hoping, after logging onto my IMDB account, to see a bunch of concurring negative opinions that could have made me say 'You should have looked at IMDB, before seeing this turkey.' What I see, instead, is shocking. I must say the same thing about Isle of Dogs - I don't know how you people like that (or this) film.

Best part of the night out, for seeing I2, was this Asian themed animated short that comes before the main showing of Incredibles 2.

Incredibles 2, itself, lacked a good story, the twist could be seen coming a million miles away, and it had absolutely no irony or complexity to the characters. Characters were all one-dimensional, stereotypical and uninteresting.

As someone who enjoyed the original, I am disgusted with how much praise and money a third rate film like this has garnered, when so many other films have merited much more attention than this piece of crap.

Pope Francis: A Man of His Word (2018)

time well spent

[7/10 · 19 May 2018]

Whether or not you agree with the Catholic Church - its beliefs and actions, etc., the film, shot in documentary and interview style, does provide one with a break from meaningless, shallow viewing. It provides us with the opportunity to contemplate on issues of child abuse, suffering, environmental decline of our planet, freedom, dignity and animal welfare. There were many poignant moments and comments made by Pope Francis. It was time well spent, at the theater.

Deadpool 2 (2018)

Conned by the Critics' CONsensus

[4/10 · 19 May 2018]

How is this comparable to Deadpool 1??? Bottom line, the film lacks a clear, meaningful plot or subplot. There is little to no internal character tension, no dilemmas, no character irony/complexity, all of which is compatible with, and necessary for, the execution of good humor. There were little blips of a pulse but, ultimately, despite several good jokes - which could just as well have been heard on a 30-minute variety show, there was no compelling story to which the jokes were attached. The film, except for the early scenes, when Deadpool struggled with the dead of his wife, failed to make you care about its characters - unlike Deapool 1.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Most Literarily Competent Superhero Movie EVER

[10/10 · 4 June 2017]

As a lover of literature and film, I have found Hollywood lacking in its treatment of the Superhero genre. I am fresh from a night out at a 3D showing of Wonder Woman, and it is another example of the poor writing in this genre.

Frankly, BvS is the only film in this genre with literary elements of irony: morally flawed and conflicted heroes. We also are swept away to a universe in which we witness, from the first person perspective of Superman, discrimination against a so- called alien, Superman himself, the result of which is a degree of confusion. After all, this alien looks just like us.

Adding to the film's moral complexity, in the midst of their antipathy, Batman manages sensitivity for Superman's mother, having lost his own (as comic book readers would know from external sources).

Overall, this is a film rich in its presentation of these characters as complex, vulnerable beings. The critics be damned!! See this, if you already have not!!