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meanieman
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Reviews
The Girl Next Door (2007)
Disgusting Celebration of Depravity
I accidentally clicked on this title thinking it was American Crime starring Ellen Page and a whole roster of real, quality actors. When I realized I did not recognize one person, and the "storyline" was just torture,fast forwarded to the end. Was expecting a courtroom scene or credits referencing the real life case. That did not happen, because this movie is based on someone's fiction.
Although this movie came out around the same time as American Crime, there was zero reason to make this film except to hide perversion in plain sight. Who submitted all the 10-star reviews? Someone paid? Someone sending a dogwhistle to other maps types? Maybe someone trying to trick a naive viewer into watching something unwatchable and disturbing? Because there is nothing "entertaining" in this film, and no message or moral lesson to learn. If you like to watch children being mutilated and abused, please seek therapy. Today.
His Dark Materials (2019)
Need More Bears
Gave this series a few episodes and just started fast forwarding through another three, and now I'm done. The cinematography is purposely dark for too many scenes. That's annoying. I like the CGI bears, and James McAvoy. However, most of the other characters act as if they are in a stage play. It's very unnatural and disconnecting and makes me ask, why am I watching this? I do not care about anyone or anything happening. Is that the intent? Even the daemons have flat intonations, like boring slide shows. Are these actors simply line reading or were they directed to be emotionless? When someone says, "I'm afraid," I need to feel there is something behind the statement. Like, you know, actual fear.
The Irishman (2019)
This is an insult
Everyone in this film must have realized they were taking part in a stupid exercise to fool themselves. This is a swan song, a last hurrah reunion for the old gang before they head out to pasture. Yet it's not interesting, and not engaging, and not believable. Think this is a masterpiece? Uh no. It's embarrassing, and a disgrace to all the talent. Why didn't Scorsese just use different actors to play characters who are supposed to be four decades younger???? That is four decades younger! It would have been more compelling to see a real progression, instead of waxy and weird CGI mannequins. It's distracting and frankly, disgusting, to pretend otherwise.
Robin Hood (2018)
There is something very wrong here
The movie merits three stars because there are some entertaining moments. Otherwise, fast forward is my friend, especially through strange action sequences or bad attempts at character development.
Casting diversity does not bother me in modern, fictional films. Neither do anachronisms. What I simply cannot stand is watching walking personality disorders on screen. All of these actors appear to have offstage problems and it eats into their work. Jaime Dornan with a perpetual scowl, for example. Is that the character, or more likely the actor is angry about his career choices? Taron Egerton looks way too tired for his youth, as if passed around Hollywood for favors. Jaime Foxx appears to be phoning it in to pay off a debt. Just disorienting to witness.
When I'm watching a movie, I want to be engaged in the storyline. I want to be engrossed. Not disgusted, or reminded of the business of film. Yet, I can see acting on everyone's line reading. And every editing choice the director made seems to be from the mind of chaos, making me question what the hell was happening on set. Perhaps this person was so distracted, he did not realize the two leads have zero chemistry. It was like Marion and Robin Hood were two co-workers stuck at a job-related convention. There was no love, not even a passing attraction between them. Such a waste all around.