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Reviews
Black Books (2000)
A near to perfect as a sit-com can be
Everything about this show, the writing, cast and the plots are nothing but gold. The sight gags are second to none, mainly in a well done slapstick way between Bernard and Manny. The manic and neurotic Fran co-stars well also. Every episode from all three series are very re-watchable and never get old. It plays, basically like one of Dylan Moran stand-up performances (which is by no means a bad thing.) Consistently funny and overall just well made. It's easily one of channel 4's best shown er....shows. The writers of Father Ted have done them selves proud here, with a dash of Moran added, it's pure perfection.
The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994)
It's Bad, but then it's pretty good too, I just like it!
This film is impossible to describe, it's really badly made, but I went through a stage of watching it repeatedly for some reason. The plot is almost non-existent and if there is one it's bizarre. It's not even slightly scary and I'm not sure if it even tries to be, it's easily the worst in a genuinely good series. The Leatherface is awfully played, more or less everyone can't act to save their lives, the two leads excluded. There is no actual massacre nor any chainsaw related deaths. So thats all the bad stuff out the way.
Now the on the plus side, there is one thing. Matthew McConaughey. The first time I saw it I was stunned by his performance in it. He's really good. Very menacing and maniacal. Also Renee gives a decent performance as the sprightly young heroine.
This film does have the power to annoy though. "Oh my god my torch has run out" "I know, You two go and follow the mysterious car....I'll wander about in the woods with what is possibly the worst torch in existence...Oop..It's broke."
The ending however, is the real cherry on top which makes most people I know hate it. No kind of sense has been made so far but I'm working on it. Where did that plane come from, why did it kill Vilmer, who to him, must've looked like he was also being chased by a man with the chainsaw. So was it all some kind of cult? Why have the police not seen this place? It's not that far from a school let alone civilisation like the original was. Funny how this school where they travel about a mile from is right next to a huge desert too. The list of plot holes could go on....but if you can get past the awful acting, irritating plot, hate-able characters (which is a good thing I guess) and the fact it makes no sense, you might just enjoy yourself. Just watch the two leads and enjoy (kind of).
Condemned: Criminal Origins (2005)
awesome
This game is scary, violent and extremely stylish. Ultra-slick visuals, awesome hand to hand combat and enemy AI to as close to real as possible, this game is most definitely one to pick up. The fully interactive elements are good and the actually playability of the game is very easy to pick up. The back drops are detailed and varied, characters look human and smooth and the plot is intriguing. A game to really get the Xenix 360 off the ground. Original and most of all, genuinely frightening. Every time an enemy jumps at you from around the corner your heart will skip a beat and seeing them running past in the background will most definitely send a shiver down your neck.
But it's the little attentions to detail that really make this game stand out, the use of lighting, awesome sound effects and the lack of music to create atmosphere are very good.
The cut scenes telling the story are well animated and voice acted. The plot itself is exceptionally intriguing, you actually want to know what has happened and how it's resolved.
Over all this is most definitely a must own title for the 360, one of many to come I hope.
Versus (2000)
Zombies, blood, Kung-Fu you say...you've come to the right place
This is, without a shadow of a doubt, is the finest Japanese kung-fu zombie movie ever made. For a film that has next to no budget, it looks just as good as any other blockbuster release out right now. With uber-stylish cinematography, no plot in sight and some of the most bizarre characters characters ever committed to celluloid, this can not do anything but entertain. Just sit back and lavish in a film that is obviously not afraid to use a little ketchup and corn syrup to raise a few smiles. You won't be able to not enjoy watching very annoying gangsters be eaten, torn limb from limb and being blown to smithereens. Very enjoyable indeed.
Chopping Mall (1986)
'I' like it, and I don't care what you say
I watched 'Chopping Mall' thinking it was going to be awful like 99% of other Vipco offerings, but It turned out to be a most pleasant surprise. Yes the acting was atrocious and the plot was to say the least a little thin but believe me it's a good laugh.
It has obviously had genuine thought and care put into some scenes and has a few stand out moments that will have you rolling on the floor laughing, but not in a bad way. I am so glad I rented it as it is a real gem and is easily the best of the Vipco movies I have seen so far. I feel that any movie with a hero called 'Fergie' and killer robots in a shopping mall is a much underused plot these days. Definitely worth a watch.
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
A serious guilty pleasure
You'd think after being defeated half a dozen times, Mr Voorhees would think of maybe giving up this pointless killing lark, but no, he's back to give it another shot, and he's very welcome. I have no idea why, I have just always had an uncertain fondness for this instalment in the so far, 11 part series. For some strange reason it is surprisingly watchable. As it essentially consists of a pointlessly re-awoken, unexplainably slimy Jason plodding about on a cruise liner heading for the big apple, knocking off one by one, each nubile teenage passenger in various inventive ways until just a select handful are left. Just from that brief outline I think we can all safely assume that it's not one heading for the Oscars, but it is very entertaining. With a body count of over 20, each of which are pretty memorable and a length of just under 90 minutes....well you do the math. This proves that there is never a dull moment throughout and those with a sweet tooth for comic violence will be in movie viewing heaven. A definite guilty pleasure.
The Evil Dead (1981)
A classic
Evil Dead has completely bypassed the so bad its good stage, and just gone straight to good. Sam Raimi, who also directed both fantastic sequels, proves to us with his fantastic second film that he obviously has talent and good humour in this darkly comic, gore fuelled zombie masterpiece that will, without a shadow of a doubt, always be a cult classic. Yes the acting is a bit poor, the budget is almost non-existent and plot is safe to say, not the first thing on Mr Raimi's mind, but anything like that will be the absolute last thing on your minds. Just sit back and enjoy the thrills, spills (of blood) and Bruce Campbell glorious head of hair.
Red Eye (2005)
damn fine thriller
Red Eye is most definitely one of the few sleeper hits of 2005. A good simple plot, decent cast and varied action sequences makes for a truly exciting film experience. Admittedly the film does lose pace when the plane lands and the end is creepily reminiscent to the beginning of Cravens other hit, Scream, but is still entertaining. When the plane is in the air and the always impressive Cillian Murphy turns from charming to chilling the film is undoubtedly at its paramount. Plus the always great Brian Cox and the almost too pretty Rachel McAdams make for even easier watching. Overall it's a fine hour and a half that pulls out all of the stops until you're well and truly entertained.
Batman Begins (2005)
Awesome, very well done
With superb performances all round from a heavily British cast, particularly Bale in the lead and the ever entertaining Cillian Murphy as his foe, this is by far the best Batman movie so far. Christopher Nolan out darkens Burton in the way of both style and action proving himself to be in the leagues of Sam Raimi in the superhero genre.
The only two faults I can find is that it does exactly what it says on the tin and nothing more, it quite literally tells you how Batman Begins. The only other problem is the lack of a decent villain which is essential for a truly great superhero movie. The great, up and coming Cillian Murphy is very much underused as the fantastic character 'The Scarecrow.' But other than that this is a two and a half hours of pure, thankfully anti-camp, entertainment.
Manhunt (2003)
Very playable, very cool, very nasty
If you have any kind of built up anger from a day of hard work, just sit down, turn on your Playstation and put in Manhunt, the ultimate game to take your rage out on. With dozens of varied and very violent ways to execute exceptionally hate able characters this is a must for anyone with a sweet tooth for gore. Done in a cctv camera style, this is an original, addictive and challenging stealth game that in fact requires a lot of time and thought. The only drawback with it is the later levels where stealth kills are no longer the way to succeed; it's an array of fun but repetitive gunfights. But don't let me give you the wrong idea; this along with Max Payne and San Andreas is easily Rockstar's finest offering, well most violent anyway. Vicious, blood thirsty and good fun.
My Little Eye (2002)
Awesome
The sheer brilliance and originality of this movie is just astounding. Scarily realistic acting and writing, a great cast, effective suspense and a last half hour that will have you on the edge of your seat are just a taster of the praises this film deserves. And for those of you who are bored of the dull, generic reality shows that are on around the clock this will provide you with few smiles no doubt. The cctv camera angles are never irritating and always effective. All five leads are varied in character and extremely well played by the next to unknown cast. Particularly the much underrated Kris Lemche who plays Rex, by far the most interesting and likable of the characters. This is destined and very much deserves to be a cult classic.