Change Your Image
paul-clark1987
Reviews
Jigsaw (2002)
Jigsaw Lets Jig it
OK another film bought by me and Joe Swatman. OK this isn't the worst film i've reviewed this week but it still sucked royaly. we had a lot of fun watching this piece of crap.
The Monster Jigsaw is a mish mash of all these dysfunctional students ideas, u just know ur in for trouble when someone equips him with a buzzsaw and a sawed of shotgun, the film wasn't as gory as we hoped, i mean on of the deaths is a heart attack. Again i think the acting sucks, sum of the actors must be porn stars and one get into her undies for what ever reason.
The absolute worst part is the ending, it leaves it open for a bit of a Jigsaw 2 but thats never gunna happen lets face it.
My ratings:
funny 4/100 mock (how much fun we had mocking it) 73/100 acting 8/100 generally 12/100
The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005)
Sickle made me Sick
Again another 1.50 spent on a film from me and Joe Swatman, OK where to begin with this film, withing 20 mins i thought we had bought a porn film, what party have u ever been to where girls get naked and kiss for 5 mins straight, buy this if u want a cheap thrill, not the thrill we were looking for. I couldn't take killer seriously daft voice and bad lines, sickle once, sickle twice, sickle made me take my OWN life. again the acting was very poor, some guy cheating on his girl then 10 mins later he loves her, the only good thing coming from this was stoner the only half decent actor, but he was probably too stoned to remember. Seriously don't see this film.
Heebie Jeebies (2005)
Gave me the Heebie Jeebies
'I really did love this film' <- that is what acting should be like, the acting in Heebie Jeebies was terrible.
Me and Joe Swatman bought the film for 2 pounds thinking we would be in for a good laugh with sick deaths and cheesy killers.... big mistake. the story jumps from different plots all over the place, different stories coming at me from all angles... what the heck was going on, I do like my cheesy horrors such as brain dead for its comic value but this stunk. The part with concrete blocks hitting someone in the face made me wet my pants at his reaction to it. apart from laughing at the film we would of been bored for an hour, only see this film if u plan on riping on it with mates for an hour. enough said.