wolfen244 Reviews

Night Shift (1982)

Shannen Doherty Delightful In This Movie

[8/10 · 29 December 2023]

This movie was very good and very funny with some good lines, good sight gags and it could even be a bit moving. Shelley showed her covered bum a few times there were some nice tatas for us perverts. The best thing about this movie was no swearing to make a point, no gratuitous anything actually. You don't even get to see any of the bodies in a picture about a morgue. I've gone out with too many women like Charlotte, so I can relate, however I was one and done with them though the gorgeous ones I gave 3 dates before I dumped them. One interesting thing was that Henry's and Shelly's characters did seem as if they'd get along fairly well. I liked that. Oh, and looked for Blue Bird as she would be eleven years old, so my instincts tell me that Doherty wasn't in the movie or the 110-minute version anyway. So I think it was a misprint. WRONG! Blue Bird Shannen was definitely in this flick as she beat Chuckie - with a box of cookies - I think - in the elevator scene. Look fast for her tooth gap. Btw, I know she's in some serious trouble with the big C. I just watched her from DWTS and she did an A#1 spot 13 years ago. Life can be the pits sometimes.

Rapture (II) (2019)

Make Sure Your Fast-Forward Button Works

[1/10 · 27 November 2023]

I have rarely seen a movie this horrible. The title makes you want to watch it, however after about 2 or 3 minutes you just fast forward to skip over the exceptionally tedious portions of this awkward home movie. I did that about 25 times and I truly don't think I missed much. I have also NEVER seen so many actors in the same movie that weren't appealing at all. None of them were charming, or particularly attractive or motivated beyond running and then doing the obligatory falling down and hurting their ankle thing. Nothing was explained at the end for any of the zappings as everyone gets zapped except the two at the end. I guess that's the spoiler. But I really didn't care much one way or another.

The Cobbler (2014)

Solid 8

[8/10 · 26 November 2023]

I didn't think that I would like this movie as it was a "slow burn" type that was a bit shaky at first like a befuddled sheep dog. However, after a while it grew on me. I really enjoyed watching Fritz Weaver in this one as he is one of my all-time favorites. Every move and every character in this slow burn meant something. This is a very enjoyable sci fi romp - with NO superhero strengths - unless you like tasers. There were some cute characters that had some twisty back stories that this story didn't dwell on. I myself was a cobbler in one of my former lives so that was one reason I wanted to check this one out. Trust me. You'll enjoy this little slice of fun. My only criticism was that Steve Buscemi didn't get enough screen time as he can usually bring some extra things that most actors can't. Otherwise, I'm sure you'll enjoy this movie.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Ana de Armas - And That's It

[1/10 · 28 April 2022]

Ana de Armas is as cute as can be...that's it. I'm giving my DVD copy away. Sorry. Oops! I need to get at least 150 more characters. This movie was boring,..........ho hum boring. I loved the original in every way, shape and form. This one is so goofy that it's painful. Lemme check on the amount of characters for a second.

Elysium (I) (2013)

Elysium and a Border Crisis.

[1/10 · 11 January 2022]

Lemme think fer a sec. Evil White people on a pleasant, "gated" community. Wonderful Brown people trying to "migrate" to Elysium in order to have a better life. Evil White people try to stop the wonderful migrants any way possible from encroaching on their sparkling, lovely, blue-sky heaven. I dunno. Izzit me or izzit woke? Just asking.

The Trip (2021)

I Rarely Give a 10

[10/10 · 26 December 2021]

From the very beginning, right after I realized my girl friend Noomi Rapace was the star, I was going to see some real fun. This movie is Norwegian and I'm sure there was at least one inside joke with that Scrabble game but I neither speak Norwegian nor Swedish. This little gem also had that wonderfully beautiful house as part of the cast of characters in this side-splitter. And side-splitter has a handful of meanings in this funny flick. There were no belly laughs but, trust me, the humor is amazing. If you can't laugh at the site gags or the goofy dialog then you have no sense of humor. Also I kept wanting to see Lisa open her blouse 'cause Roy kept asking her, even though that would be gratuitous. After all, there was some serious gratuitous violence that even Sam Peckinpah would be proud of. No car chases...well, a 50 foot car chase...sort of. No unsteady, steady cams to ruin your dinner - except maybe the body parts and unending gore.

I don't really think much of scat humor, however this one was borderline to being gratuitous. Also, NO gratuitous vomit scenes that every director seems to think is unique or one-second blip s e x scenes like in Lincoln Lawyer.

ALL of the actors in this little slice of sliceness had some good yet subtle facial expressions to go along with their crazy characters' dialog. As in most fun movies there were foreboding clues all over the place in the beginning. Even though some were right in your face, it was fun to watch them be realized as the movie progressed. Speaking of progressing, the flashbacks weren't in Tarantino-style. Instead they were straight to the point in order to fill in the blanks AFTER the goof parts happened so that you can laugh even harder. The writers must have had a lot of fun with this movie. Good on ya Norway. Once more. I am so in lvoe (messed up typing when I think of her)...er I mean, love with Noomi Rapace.

Midnight Mass (2021)

Superb Until the End

[6/10 · 27 November 2021]

Storm of the Century meets The Walking Dead meets Dracula meets Jim Jones meets Sam Peckinpah meets Jurassic Park. Samantha Sloyan has to be one of the best actresses in the world. What an incredible job of being the passive/aggressive lunatic for that entire series. That must have taken a lot out of her to be as obnoxiously obnoxious as can be for so long. The best part of this mini series is that it touches a lot of bases with respect to cultism and Islam and misrepresentation of the Bible and the Koran, bigotry, Catholicism, Protestantism, and extremes in all of those things. The ending was fairly silly, however it was no more silly than any of Stephen King's ridiculous endings like Pennywise the Dancing Clown turning out to be a spider or with The Stand where an actual hand of God sets off an A Bomb. One item I really liked was Erin and Riley not ever consummating their friendship with the obligatory one-night of boinking. Also, speaking of obligatory items, there was no gratuitous retching. All of the retching was actually functional in the movie. Also I don't remember seeing even one car in the movie, let alone a half hour car chase or half hour of chasing through the streets of Tangiers. Oh yes. Car crash at the beginning, and even then no cars were moving. Anyways except for the silly ending this mini series is worth watching. Oh yeah. Didst I forget the monster? Yeow! Very cool "angel".

The Lost Symbol (2021)

Dan Brown's Scavenger Hunt III

[1/10 · 5 October 2021]

Scavenger Hunt I or The Da Vinci Code. Scavenger Hunt II or Angels and Demons. And now Scavenger Hunt III. Same song, third verse, a little bit longer, a little bit worse. Hey look for Peter Solomon (Eddie Izzard) to reach for the key with his RIGHT hand. Valorie Curry is hot.

Antique Methods (1994)

Fabulous Spanking Movie

[9/10 · 5 October 2021]

Both Stacy Summers & Alison Bret are spectacularly beautiful British girls and both get the living daylights spanked out of them. I believe Stacy is the lass with the short hair. It's also extremely sexy. Have fun.

Eden (IV) (2018)

This Short Claims to Have Won 6 Awards

[2/10 · 23 May 2021]

This short won 6 awards. Izzat it? I think they missed an award - The Shortest McGuffin Award for a 2-frame blip ending of a McGuffin that mimicked a line from a few minutes earlier. No offense but this short was awful. However I loved the opening music and the opening sets aboard the star ship were very interesting and the outer space shots were fun as I am always intrigued and happy when I can see a bunch of red and orange gas balls all over the Universe. The story was sophomoric as well as something that only a gamer could love. Ooops! Wuzzat it? The gamer thing? Sigh. And that bizarre obligatory shoot out. Howcumzit that there wasn't any other kind of obligatory item like a car chase or vomit scene or nekked girls or since it's a short a 5-frame love scene however there was one extremely obvious obligatory item that all new shorts and movies have to have these days. I can't mention it or I'll get boinked. Overall I'll give it a 2 because the beginning had a fun promise but the middle and end were pure _________ (you fill in the blank)

Dead Man Down (2013)

I Love Noomi

[8/10 · 9 May 2021]

I have never given anything Noomi Rapace has done less than an 8. This is no exception. What a woman. The hardest thing this director had to do was to try and make Noomi Rapace look homely. T'aint gonna happen. At first this story seemed just like any other gangland/revenge/muddled/car/chase nonsense in the summertime gnip gnop as Collin Ferrell and Terrence Howard begin with a shoot 'em up that seemed pointless. Then a little at a time it became clear that it was to unsettle the audience. The major unsettling happened the instant that Noomi forced Colin to fire his pistol close to her head that broke his truck window and destroyed whatever good mood you were in while watching what is now an unwatchable movie. Okay so far? So I was on Netflix and decided to go to the movie reviews on IMDb and of course being the jaded putz that I am I went straight to the 1 stars first. Everyone hated this movie of course for various reasons ad nauseum. Then an hour later I decided to continue because of my extreme love affair with Noomi who I am certain loves me back after all of my reviews. ))) Wouldn't you know it. The movie not only got better but it started to make a lot of sense and the plot twists that you knew were coming weren't so twisty until the end when it got very tense because you knew that the USPS was going to have a say so in this somehow. Granted that the ending was wrapped up in a tidy little bow and it was happy-ever-after time, but I was okay with that. Hey, it was a story not an Oscar winner. Okay?

A Week with Rebecca (2020)

Alluring Rebecca

[9/10 · 6 May 2021]

This was the best short I've ever seen. Nika Burnett was quite alluring. Great casting. FINALLY a DUST ending that wasn't done in one or two frame blips. Bravo! I've watched maybe 30-40 DUST shorts and this is the first without a seriously super stupid 1-2 frame blip ending.

Notice that this movie has what Hollywood completely misses - a story. And it doesn't need or have obligatory car chases that last a half hour or intricate karate scenes or vomitous vomit scenes or gratuitous nekked scenes or forced 4-second sex scenes. This movie is actually very entertaining.

Grove Film Festival - Winner - Best Picture and Actor.

Florence Film Awards - Honorable Mention: Sci-Fi - A Week With Rebecca by Marcus Shenn. Among other awards.

The Midnight Sky (2020)

I Hate Little Kids In Movies, However...

[6/10 · 30 April 2021]

Caoilinn Springall as young Iris was charming and unlike Dakota Fanning who screamed her butt off in The War of the Worlds, she was...well...charming. I hated this movie at first because of the Climate Change nonsense this movie made me think of, however I just said, "Hey, it's a movie. Relax and suspend your disbelief and go with it.". The movie reminded me of "On The Beach (1959)" where it was obvious there'd be no survivors from the very beginning of the movie so it wasn't going to be a big let down. The moment Iris came on the scene I thought it was a hallucination but then I got so caught up in her that I actually began to identify with her as being someone real as the movie and story did its best to make you think that she was real. I'm happy about that. I gave it a six because Clooney as usual was pretty good once again. If you folks decide to see this movie just realize that it's neither an Oscar winner nor a "You Light Up My Life" piece of garbage. It's a story - a sci-fi story - and it's about human beings realizing things are going south and that's the way it is. I admit that the CGI stuff is pretty good and fun so at least there's that. Bring a little popcorn and don't get huffy if you don't like an outcome that is a downer. The two at the end irritated me but hey, it's just a story.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

Love to Make it With Catherine Keener...but that's it!!

[2/10 · 24 April 2021]

This movie reminded me of Three's Company where it teases you by not letting the hero get any with the hot chick - Keener. I quit watching this incredibly unwatchable movie at 1:05 so that I wouldn't have to poke my eyes out any longer waiting to get a look at Keener's boooobs and nips. That's it. There were a few other items that seemed to go nowhere like the Winchester Mystery House that has stair cases going nowhere. In this one the low ceiling thing was cute - for a while then like the rest of the jokes in this flat flick they all went nowhere. I have to write some more stuff so I can post this so lemme think for a second. Oh yeah, the puppeteer thing was interesting - even though it also went nowhere. I'm done. Oh and I'm glad I saw it for free on PeacockTV.

Charmed (1998–2006)

Holly Marie Phone-it-in Combs

[2/10 · 12 April 2021]

I love Shannen Doherty and Rose McGowan but only for their beauty. The very homely Holly Marie Combs is the first actress I've ever seen that "phones it in" without any facial expressions, voice inflections or enthusiasm. That's it. Oh and the story line is always silly. I gave it 2 stars only because of Doherty and McGowan. Be happy with that. I realize that I'm pinging on Combs a lot. It bothers me that she hit the mother load, yet by being homely and talentless, she gets a pass probably because the other 3 babes are at least attractive and let's face it, that's what this drivel is all about - another Aaron Spelling giggle-vision pile. So howcumzit that Tori Spelling wasn't in it? Could it be that she was even homelier than Combs or I'll bet she is a better actress than Combs and that was probably disturbing.

John Wick (2014)

Couldn't Take It Past 1:06.

[1/10 · 19 March 2021]

After an hour and 6 minutes I gave up. Except for the meager t&a once in a while I gotta say that this was one of the worst movies I've ever had the displeasure to see. I love Keanu Reeves and I love action. And I love revenge flicks and I even love killing in fun crazy ways. But the same thing 50 or 60 times just got on my nerves. Btw, I don't like Mustangs that much. I like SS Chevelles maybe. Also I'm not staying till the end so there'll be no spoilers for me. There. I just saved myself 35 minutes of my life that I don't have to regret because I refuse to watch the last 35 minutes of this incredible pile of bat guano. I think the only reason this might have John Wick double-tap 50 or 60 guys by the one hour mark is to make this a FPS game. That's all I can think of.

The Cleansing (2019)

Exceptionally Fun Ride

[9/10 · 31 December 2020]

I loved this little low-budget gem and you will too once you get involved with it. It's a bit slow for some folks. The heroine is not real verbose however her face tells more than a bunch of dialog and let's face it, her face is quite alluring. Where was I? On to the movie review. There's a lot of tension because of Tom the reverend not wanting to give up the chase so it's always in the back of your mind about what might happen at any given time. The fellow from Africa gives this a bit of a spin on things even though at first it seems as if Hollywood is trying to inject its usual liberal garbage as you wonder if the next shoe to drop will be Climate Change, but nope, there's a reason. The strange part is the Cleanser himself as you will have to make up your mind whether or not it strains the ending a bit or if it's really worth it. I really liked the ending even it was a bit predictable with all of the gore. Regardless, just grab some popcorn, fasten your seat belt and get set to have a little fun.

The Valhalla Murders (2019–2020)

Outstanding Cops & Robbers Series.

[10/10 · 18 April 2020]

From beginning to the end this is a must see. It's on Netflix in a one season set of episodes. There is an interwoven set of back stories which always helps build a way to see things a little differently. Lots of little things that come into play near or at the end. One of my favorites is the fact that Kata is a great swimmer as off-handedly related by her mother. I thought about that once in a while when the incredible Icelandic landscape was shown along with the deadly waterways surrounding the tiny road as the car was all alone while you ponder what would happen if just one tiny item in that car failed. I was struck by the fact that a policeman had to have his weapon locked up. That is so nuts. But what do I know?

You Light Up My Life (1977)

Thank The Lord I Only Saw the Trailer - 500 Times on the Boooooob Tube

[1/10 · 19 March 2020]

The trailer for this awful "movie" was enough for me. Judging from the reviews of this movie my gray matter has been spared from seeping outta my ears from sheer horror. That trailer of Didi Conn trying to let some guy down was bizarre with that super stupid song in the background that I hope I never hear again. Terrible movie, terribler trailer and pukified song to build an entire movie around. p.u.

Forbidden Planet (1956)

One of the Top 5 Movies of All Time - Not Just Science Fiction

[10/10 · 9 November 2019]

There are a handful of science fiction movies that are astronomically perfect and wonderful and everything entertaining. This one stands with The Day the Earth Stood Still 1952, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Star Wars 1977, The Thing from Another World, and a handful of Ray Harryhausen movies that are superb in every way, Kronos 1958, Blade Runner, Alien and Aliens, Predator, and Terminator. I could write for hours about this great move.

If you obtained the DVD you would get deleted scenes - which you can see on YouTube. My favorite deleted scene is where Warren Stevens explains the myth about Altaira as the Maiden and the Tiger as the Unicorn. When you see this movie don't forget to see that deleted scene that still should be on YouTube.

See this movie. Trust me.

The Apartment (1960)

Motel 6

[7/10 · 1 November 2019]

In those days a Motel 6 would cost only - ready? - $6 a night. Granted Motel 6 came into existence in 1962 but I hope you get my drift. It was super cheap to rent a motel room even in Manhattan. Letting morons from work use your apartment to fool around with a floooozy where they themselves worked while you froze your kazoo off outdoors makes no sense - especially in YOUR bed. C.C. Baxter is without question the milk-toastiest moron I've even seen in any movie. Other than that, this movie had some interesting charm - especially if you see the way men dressed and women dressed in those days.

The ONLY excuse for using a real apartment rather than the No-Tell Motel is that the guys wanted to fool the flooooozie they took there into thinking that they weren't really going to foooool around and to make it seem like it was more legit when all these married guys wanted was to get a little without having to pay for a motel. Bizarre excuse if you ask me but I do understand the thing about trying to fooool whomever you can if you're only interested in getting a little outside of marriage.

Woman on the Run (1950)

Ann Sheridan. Need I Say More?

[10/10 · 4 October 2019]

Ann Sheridan was one of the most savagely beautiful women who ever lived. This noir shows her range of acting ability that surpasses every actress today. Beauty and talent will out. She doesn't flash her booooooobs or her kazoo. She just knocks it out of the park in every scene. Oh and that roller coaster at Santa Cruz is one fun ride. Ross Elliot and the evil Dennis O'Keefe and the inspector (Robert Keith) are all great supporting actors with great characterizations in this one. This is fast and tight and fun and if you like the seedy shots of San Francisco as well as familiar places this one will bring a smile to your face now and then. Must see for noir fans. I have only one major complaint and that is I wish I could see Sheridan's red hair when I want to. Oh well. "Stick with her."--Inspector Ferris. "How can I lose a red head like that?"--Lady policewoman.

Restoration (III) (2016)

Only The Second Time

[8/10 · 18 September 2019]

I'm in the middle of watching this for the 2nd time trying to figure out this Rubik's cube of another DUST up. Get it? DUST up...sorry. Anyways, Dust Always does this and now it's a little too frustrating. They have these shorts that are usually 15 minutes too short. Fine. So make 'em just a tad longer to explain stuff so I don't have to watch it 15 more times you Fellini ding-a-lings. Then finally I see this one that's 50 minutes long and I say to myself, "Finally a short that is long enough." But no. It's a short that is about 25 minutes too short. Thanx a lot. So now I'm going to make the best of it if I can before I throw up my hands again and realize that I've been Dusted once again.

Knowing (2009)

After the Gold Rush

[8/10 · 2 September 2019]

The ending of this movie is completely based on the last verse of Neil Young's song "After the Gold Rush" from 1970. I wish they'd've at least acknowledged that. Oh well. Not important except that I was highly disappointed that the old folks had to buy the farm - including my crush for the past 20 years Mary Rose Byrne. The interesting thing about Byrne's character is that she went completely off the rails in a very illogical manner - extremely understandable actually - since she was hysterical and panicking and therefore making upside down decisions. Cage's character was lucid and logical for most of the end where he had all of the excuses for panicking. I thought it might turn out to be a love story then when I heard the Funeral March from Beethoven's 7th, I realized that it was not to be. The saving grace was that Lucinda who morphed into Abby was saved. I felt very close to the Lucinda character as she was being haunted by the whispers and worse with her finger nails bloody. I usually give an Alex Proyas film solid 10's because he is a seriously top director in every way. This one only an 8 because the ending was a bit unsatisfying and not as romantic as I'd like to have seen. But that's just me. Also the strange idea of "knowing" what is going to happen and then not being able to take much advantage of it is rather sad. Well, I dreamed I saw the silver space ships flyin' In the yellow haze of the sun There were children cryin' and colors flyin' All around the chosen ones All in a dream, all in a dream The loadin' had begun Flying Mother Nature's silver seed To a new home in the sun Flying Mother Nature's silver seed To a new home

Ingobernable (2017– )

Escape in High Heels

[3/10 · 27 January 2019]

Other than trying to run across town in 9" high heels and constantly making sure her makeup and hair are perfect and her skirt is high enough, I guess the First Lady is reasonably believable as a surgeon. Otherwise this is actually a reasonably decent chase flick. Oops! I mean chase episodic t.v. show not unlike The Fugitive.