josephmpapp Reviews

The Fall Guy (2024)

It doesn't work.

[4/10 · 8 May 2024]

It's a comedy with no laughs.

It's a love story with no real relationship It's an action flick that drags It's a mystery that has no questions to ask.

The fall guy claims to be a romantic action comedy love letter to stuntman. It even has Ryan Gosling and the Director reiterating this point before the film.

It's a thin plot with an overlong run time. The second d half is exceptionally dull. Even with amazing stunts, the movie drags . We had 7 people in the theater. Two left at the 40 minute mark. They were bored and made fun of the movie. My wife fell asleep. My niece didn't laugh once. Was bored. In the end, we all agreed it was a waste of time.

Ryan Gosling comes off as a dope who can't be hurt. Emily Blunt has about 4 scenes and the karaoke is pretty bad. The bad guy is Gail.

It's a dumb movie that people seem to like... but it's funny how they usually focus on the "on set chemistry" which only counts for 10% of this jumbled mess. BTW, that's malarkey. Their on screen chemistry is a few scenes with her sitting on a table, counter, or ledge while he pulls in close. The rest of the movie could literally dumped the love story and not changed. That's just how unimportant that is.

The action:

Nobody cares. We've seen stuntman directed films and it usually ends with Keanu Reeves falling down 100 flights of stairs for the fifth time while shooting everyone else in the noggin. It gets old, boring, and ridiculous... just like this movie.

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

It's not a cult classic

[3/10 · 17 February 2024]

This film was abhorrent. The characters were obnoxious, the story was terrible, the dialogue is worthless tripe, and the experience is distasteful.

1. Lisa swollows: she's a selfish psychopath who actually proves her stepmother right as she opens her maw and delivers the Diablo Cody dreck. It's an unforgivable character with no redeemable qualities.

2. The story: we've seen low budget comedy love stories before. This one, unlike those, forgot the comedy.

3. The production: it looks good its time people stop doing the nostalgia 80's crap. Especially when the writer and production forget that certain items are actually 90's things.

Conclusion: it's not Heather's, Sweeny Todd, Edward scissorhands, etc... it's fan fiction written by a 40's something child. Skip this.

Founders Day (2023)

Inept satire

[1/10 · 24 January 2024]

Acting: Atrocious across the board

You start out with the Faulkners. Melissa is fighting her father in a unconvincing and embarrassing 'I won't live up to your standards dad cause my fee fees.'

Melissa goes out to see her girlfriend Alice where the relationship is even worse. It's already annoying that everything has to be gay now, but that's not nearly as bad as watching two actresses pretend to be a couple when they have no chemistry. Seriously, you can see the "just gotta kiss kiss kiss and ... is he done shooting yet? How long will this go on?" On their faces.

We're Introduction of other poorly acted characters who are lacking subtlety. You got broccoli head sad brother, blonde daughter of Faulkner's rival, pissy boyfriend, punk couple, nice dad with beard, teacher who is "moral center until the end, shitbird political candidates, mustache cop who's in on it, secondary characters who randomly fight over politics, and a candy obsessed commissioner (with a chief insignia on her lapell).

Every one including the director as the political advisor, is terrible at acting

The plot: it's impossible to care

The writer/director wants to show how politics cause fighting and doesn't pay attention to real problems. We can agree with that. Political junkies are just as annoying as sports fans. But this tries to turn a small town mayor race into an analogy of the last election as it was portrayed by the news. So that's constantly in the background. Allison and Melissa start doing the worst WB don't leave town I love you on the script scene when the killer shows up to "kill" Melissa. It's obvious by this scene that she's part of the killing.

Allison runs to safety only to be cosumed by a group of 20 protestors who talk politics over her cries for help. Melissa's brother is 15 feet away but ge doesn't get the info until he is in class the following day. Then he tries to look all sad and upset (he looks like he has gas). It's embarrassing.

He goes to Allison's house to complain about how hard life is. Boo hoo. He and Allison go to a party because mourning and trauma are not allowed, and there's more lame drama. We finally get to the second kill at 50 minutes in. It was fine, but the acting is so atrocious and filled with sub par WB drama that it doesn't matter.

I walked out after she gets her throat cut.

If this is satire, the blomquist Brothers need to spe d time watching poultrygeist. Lloyd Kaufman got better acting, filming, and story in that satire than this mess. It's poorly paced, written, and acted. Skip this crap and don't let the horror hounds convince you it's good.

Eat Brains Love (2019)

It's a zombie movie for Instagram fans

[4/10 · 27 November 2023]

This is not a bad movie as it is shot well and makes decent use of its budget for costumes, sets, makeup, and crew.

The actors are fine. The take a silly premise and handle it well.

The story is really dumb. That's because it's playing the same jokes we've seen in other zombie comedies. A stoner and a cheerleader get a sexually transmitted zombie virus and are on the run from a government agency that uses a psychic geek girl to track them. The geek girl has a thing for the stoner. So as the Stoner and Cheerleader do their road trip, they use a list of sex offenders to act like zombie vigilantes. But, because big government isn't 100% transparent, geek girl ends up helping stoner and cheerleader to stop the enslavement of those infected with the zombie virus.

Pretty silly. Its not really a good or bad movie. It's just forgettable.

Creepshow: Twenty Minutes with Cassandra/Smile (2023) Season 4, Episode 1

Funny at parts, but drawn out

[6/10 · 24 October 2023]

20 minutes with Cassandra has decent laughs from the dialogue. The end went on too long. It ended up as a slog. When Cassandra first enters, it's an obvious ruse. That's how most in this series end up. The nice surprise is the monster. I enjoyed his character.

Smile was predictable it ended up being dumb as the mom just stands there in the end. Tackle the guy! Try to draw his attention in the two minutes of screaming. The acting wasn't that good either.

It's a good series. This episode was not the best. It's hard to beat the Christmas special. The makeup and gore is top notch. Check it out if you're looking for something fun and simple.

Battle Royale II (2003)

Boring drivel

[1/10 · 29 August 2023]

Positive: if you like gun violence, this movie has a bunch.

Every else:

Your hero from the first is now a terrorist fighting the adults who put them into BR. He escaped to Afghanistan and learned to become a freedom fighter... who murdered thousands in the first 5 minutes of the film. But you know, the politics justify it by bashing you over the head with an anti-war/anti-America message. It's as subtle as steam whistle for an alarm clock. Don't worry though, this ridiculous point of view is not a big issue compared to the rest of the film.

The original actually gave the audience enough time to understand the characters by their actions, reactions, confessions, and tragic ends. That's all been replaced with costumes defining characters. When they die, you don't care. When other characters are screaming, crying, and yelling for their friends, the audience is thinking, "Why do I care about this?"

Non-name deaths become over the top hammy drama for crap dialogue trying to make is think we should care. By the third, The audience is checked out... and there's another 20 coming!

You get down to three lead characters. Two guys with looks of extreme constipation and a girl who's character has one trait, stoic. They get all philosophically confused and butthurt to the point where every line is belted out like a three year old who dropped a lollipop in the sand.

But, you got Sensei being way over the top crazy. He's uninteresting and no threat. His death is a cartoonish rugby jump with an exploding collar. But, that's far from the climax because we need a freedom fighter moment with three people taking on 100 soldiers while the good old USA misses the island into dust. But wait, the fil is still going. Our Zeros finally arrive, constipation face and all, in Afghanistan to live a life of peace and happiness... under taliban rule.

This movie is boring, nonsensical, cheap, sappy, and a waste of time. Skip it.

Buddy Games: Spring Awakening (2023)

It's fun

[7/10 · 18 August 2023]

This is filmed better than the first. The editing is better and the story had a better plot. Basically, the guys attend a funeral, steal the urn, end up a spring break, get kidnapped by a cult, and seek out a waitress from their dead friend's past.

It makes fun of old men and crazy woke people.

If you watched the first and enjoyed yourself, you know what to expect. These are old guys acting like teenagers and the comedy is based on the crazy situations they put themselves Into.

It's cartoonish, Lude, goofy, gross, and silly. This isn't high art. It's fart jokes, drugs, alcohol, and slapstick humor. I enjoyed it.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Only fir those who didn't see the original

[3/10 · 7 August 2023]

This is really for fans of SNL or those who never saw the original. The comedy works if you don't consider that this is a remake. Unfortunately, many saw the original and this is not good by comparison.

The constant ad libs don't really work with the story. It's just an attempt at getting a quick laugh.

The sets and costumes are good.

The ghost design works for this film. It's silly, but this movie is silly. So that works for thos who haven't watched the original.

The dancing is odd. It must be a chick thing.

The story, hampered by the ad libs doesn't really work.

The villian makes no sense. It's just a cheap attempt at making a plot. Incel dude wants to take over the world *yawn*.

There's action, but the cast shows us that they're pretty useless prior to becoming badass without development, so that didn't work.

All in all, I understand why some would be fine with it. But it's missing the most important aspect: business. The ghostbusters is a movie about running a business. This has no business and it fails. How do they pay for the office space? How do they pay for the equipment? What's the drive for their pursuit? This movie tries to say that it's about science, but they don't even try to get grants. It's not good.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

CGI BARF fest

[3/10 · 7 August 2023]

Bland acting, uninteresting story, and boring CGI. This movie is nothing but pixels. The original had the advantage of incorporating a new CGI environment with amazing model work, and fun practical effects. The story was fun in its silliness. The actors sold their performances and it rightfully deserves its place as a fun flick.

This is so bland and boring that it doesn't even register as you watch it. A half hor goes by and the audience is checked out. The original had a lot of characters and it defined their story fairly well. This may as well be a movie of faceless mannequins with voiceovers. Skip it.

Warlock: The Armageddon (1993)

Not intimidating

[4/10 · 5 August 2023]

Julian Sands was devious in the original. He was cold, calculated, and determined. The magic was strange but had a odd familiarity in it.

This film didn't have that. It was more like the cheap dimension direct to video sequels we saw in the late 90's. Show a series villian and add random acts of horror. Yawn.

The drama surrounding our druid heroes was so melodramatic and uninspiring. In the original, the characters had a more reasonable motive to stop the Warlock. This was more of a Saturday morning cartoon plot. Rather than just stopping evil, it ended up being a cheesy self discovery magic story with bad acting and cheap sets.

If you don't watch this, you won't miss anything aside from laughs and yawns.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

ADHD Dino Movie

[3/10 · 6 June 2023]

I never watched Fallen Kingdom. I saw Jurrasic world, but only remember snibbits. It was just a popcorn flick.

We threw this in out of boredom and it was terrible. Some CGI was bad. Most was fine. The acting was hampered by a poor script. The script was handled like a comedy action flick with heavy-handed post modernism environmentalist schlock.

1. Big business is killing our food supply and abusing animals as a commodity. They actively destroy our food for profit. They have no moral compass.

2. Dinosaurs are special endangered species who deserve protection even though, in this movie's reality, they are an invasive species that pose danger to the human population.

3. Scientists ate pure of heart truth seekers only seeking truth.

Our heroes are stupid characters who can't hold our attention unless something is chasing them or something is blowing up. Seriously, there are three moments where the characters seem to not be running and screaming.

Then there's Pratt hand. Apparently it just works on every Dinosaur regardless of familiarity.

This movie was big, loud, nonsensical, and a waste of time. If you like that, please enjoy yourself. It was not made for people like me.

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

It's just there.

[4/10 · 21 April 2023]

The original trilogy is ots own thing. The 2013 movie surprised me with inventive ideas and a decent e try without Bruce Campbell.

This is boring.

50 minutes in and I was checking my watch. There's decent gore and the makeup effects vary from good to bland.

The problem is that the teenage siblings were not interesting. The actors tried, but the daughter has little to no range and the son looks lost.

Other than that, the movie is just bland when it comes to story and plot. There are callbacks, but it's as effective as "go get em cuz" in Texas Chainsaw 3d. I left underwhelmed. It's a matinee if you're going to see it in theaters. I reccommed waiting for it to be free on streaming.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

WAY too long

[5/10 · 27 March 2023]

It was well shot and Choreographed. Action was fine... and then it got tiresome... and then it got boring and repetitive.

Basically, you're just checking your watch to realize there's still an hour of this movie left. While fans eat this up, passive viewers are checking out. There was do much time that could have been edited out, but the director had to make sure every step was on camera. Literally, there are moments where you have nothing of value put on screen for no necessary reason. Do we seriously need to see him walk the entire distance to the candles, light a candle, and walk all the way to his seat? Do we need the extra hour of random assassins just to pretend he'll be stopped?

You gotta be crazy to call this the best action film. It's okay, but too self indulgent and overlong to watch again. Can directors please stop making movies over 2.5 hrs long?

Spoilers:

John wick kills hundreds, gets to a duel, gets mortally wounded, and kills the big bad. He wins everything, and dues on steps. Every action scene is him turning corners. Shooting guys, stabbing those close to him, reloading, and doing it again.

If this sounds familiar, it's because it's the same as the last three movies sans the loss of his dog in the first (the only good one).

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

If you're into mindless CGI

[4/10 · 18 February 2023]

Marvel makes pretty things. This looks fine. It looks a lot like your typical CGI star wars stuff. The biggest pro of this is a likeable badguy. He's genuinely played well, but you go through an hour before he really comes on screen.

The quantum people are interesting looking, but written like a smurf cartoon. The battles are the same CGI BS battles you've seen in every other movie.

The first Teo movies are far better. The music, the capers, and the characters work well. In this, it's just boring.

I'm sure MCU fans like it. Please go ahead and enjoy yourself. But, for people who are just passing time, it would be better you skip it.

Biggest issues: The jokes are flat They use the word "Dick" too much for kids It's genuinely boring

The positives: MCU fans will like it It's the only game in town aside from avatar Kang was played well.

In Search of Darkness: Part III (2022)

Same old same old

[5/10 · 12 February 2023]

With three movies at about 4hrs each, you're either infatuated and elated with this or you're turning it off after an hour.

Some call it a clipshow. Others call it a masterpiece. I call it quits.

I put money into the first and spent 3 days watching it. It was something new and I kept going out of support.

The second was worse. Each one seems to feature one actor to specifically come back to and it was Alex Winters. It got old quick and I turned it off after an hour and a half.

The third is a little better, but I couldn't see any reason to keep watching after an hour.

I'm a big horror fan and I already heard most of this information over the years through other documentaries, interviews, and special features. If you're a massive fan, you may enjoy this. For me, I don't think I'd ever finish it. It's just not interesting enough for its length.

How I Met Your Mother (2005–2014)

I enjoyed it till season 3

[3/10 · 7 January 2023]

This was fun to watch in the early 2000's. It was silly, had fun inuendos, and characters that developed, aged, and changed.

After the first two seasons, the premise of a father talking about how he met every woman in New York before he met the kids mother, started to fall apart. Filler episode after filler episode became the point and it lost all charm.

So, I watched it through season 5 and gave up.

I just threw in the first two episodes of seasons 6 and the acting was terrible, the Jokes were flat, and it was overly schmaultzy. Maybe I was too young to see this all those years ago, but I can't unsee it. I know how it's going to end (which is a stupid plot twist), and I can honestly say that it's not good... just a passable generic sitcom with too many sex jokes, bad acting, and a silly cast of caricatures.

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

Yawn

[5/10 · 18 December 2022]

Visuals aren't enough to keep me interested. That's why I left at the hour mark. I was ready to leave 15 minutes do to the laughable acting and stupid spider character, but I waited in hope I was wrong.

I wasn't.

After the first movie, the "sky people" (laughable name) leave the planet but the good guy scientists stay behind with little toddler spider (he can't go in a stasis/cryo tube). So now everyone is happy and Jake has a family.

The "sky people" return (devastating the forest) and the Navi begin fighting back. But hey, let's download the consciousness of the badgiy from the original into an avatar so he can start to hunt Jake and Co.

Spider gets caught and Jake moves his family to the water tribe where they have to learn new Navi ways.

Blah blah blah, I'm out.

I started laughing the moment Jake's wife got all teary and cried when the forest was damaged. I groaned at the hoora semper fi B. S. warrior plot. The acting was bland, the story was tripe, and I walked out before my laughter would ruin the movie for the 12 other viewers.

CGI is a crutch used by filmmakers to pass lame stories off as epics. This movie is forgettable, overlong, and poorly written. If you like it, that's fine, but this is not a masterpiece. It's a beautiful c grade script that I regret giving money too. I hear the third act is pretty cool, but if you gotta sit through two hours of corny environmentalist writing, I say skip the theater and wait for clips on youtube.

Saw a few clips and laughed at how bad the acting was. This movie is not good. People are just wowed by CGI.

The Last Czars (2019)

Epic historical fail.

[3/10 · 29 November 2022]

While I appreciate a dramatization of historical events, it would help that the filmmakers didn't attempt to push sex scenes, vulgarity, and poor acting upon a history that's already interesting: THE ROMANOV FAMILY.

We get it that modern filmmaking loves to portray every historical figure as modern in their sensibilities. Here we get English accents for a Russian historical figures.

Sure, Fine, whatever.

But then you take modern language and put it into the characters which makes little sense. Add some nudity... and then show a sweaty bearded dude's face in an orgy after flashing the goods on the other actors... because that's what a historical docuseries needs.

The interviews with historians overlayed with still pictures is generally a solid formula. Adding dramatization of events is usually fine so long as it doesn't overtake the actual history.

This fails because the filmmakers wanted to make a movie rather than a documentary. Try getting your inspiration from Ken Burns rather than the History Channel.

The Munsters (2022)

Not good... but surprisingly good for Zombie

[4/10 · 29 September 2022]

Hold back Rob Zombie fans. This isn't some slight saying the guy can't make movies or be entertaining. He can get an Audience engaged.

This is a strange flick that doesn't work as a whole... but it has something about it that does work.

Rob Zombie usually leans hard into grindhouse gore and obscene language. His movies don't lend themselves to a wide audience.

Then he made this. It can be watched by kids and adults. It's on par with those made for TV sequels or retellings of 60's tv shows we got through the 90's. Usually those movies aren't good, but they can be watched. This is another movie like that.

Rob Zombie made a family appropriate movie that is on par with the worst witch.

I didn't think he would or could actually do that. And honestly, it was almost okay.

Clerks III (2022)

Nope

[3/10 · 22 September 2022]

The first 45 minutes are horrible. The jokes are too pronounced, the acting sucks, the cameo auditions went on too long, and Brian O'Halloran cemetery scene was really bad. Then the movie continues and it gets a little better. But that's after the moobys freak out. There's a few good scenes (Jeff Anderson is the only reason why) and then it goes back to crap.

The music was terrible for 80% of the movie. Becky's death due to drunk driving was contrived. It's a bad movie guys. Unless your an Uber fanboy of Kevin Smith who watches with nostalgia goggles, you won't like it. People love Kevin Smith for who he is. That's great. But, it doesn't mean that we should overlook bad directing. Maybe this was a budget issue, but that's not an excuse. After almost 30 years of doing this, there should be improvement. Keep to the podcasts and Fan Service Mr. Smith. Your directing and writing is pretty bad.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

The writing

[3/10 · 4 September 2022]

The sets, costumes, design, and actors are fine. The writing in Episode 1 is bad. In 66 minutes, I was checking my phone and couldn't remember the character names.

Galadriel is obsessed with destroying Sauron. But, the writing does the tell, not show approach and we're supposed to care about her brother's intent. It didn't work. Perhaps we should have seen his struggle rather than have her repeat her intentions to go and continue searching.

There's a hobbit girl who is doing the Luke Skywalker approach. She wants to leave and explore rather than be pulled into an adventure. That's a big change in the hobbit perspective. Her discussion about this meant to be whimsical, but it was kind of hammy.

There's an Elf who loves a human but gets pulled into a mystery when a sick cow has black sludge coming from her utter.

In the end, Galadriel jumps ship before it goes to heaven. The hobbit girl finds a guy in a meteor like thing. The Elf and the woman find the town in the east has been burned to the ground.

I found myself glad the episode ended.

Werewolves Within (2021)

It tried

[3/10 · 12 August 2022]

Pacing and lack of character development are the biggest issue here. I see the jokes attempted, but they don't land. The film is an hour and a half, but it feels longer. The murder mystery is okay, but I picked out the Werewolf right away (hint: it's the only other character that's not overt like the rest of the townsfolk) most of the horror is offscreen. There are good setups and payoffs, but you'll be disengaged by that time. The actual Werewolf is revealed in the last 5 minutes. The whole situation is resolved in 3.

I wanted to enjoy this. It's a good cast. The film was not engaging, the jokes were railroaded by bad characters, and it fell apart.

Cobra Kai (2018–2025)

Nostalgic corruption

[2/10 · 11 August 2022]

1st season is decent. After the kids get a hold of the story, the show delves into sappy teen drama with karate moves and contrived stories. The message is, if you learn karate, you're badass and will be able to fight.

Problem is, without the nostalgia bait of using original characters, this show is trash. All characters are hateable. The stories and drama are cliche. The use of original actors is sprinkled in to keep the audience asleep. The messaging is morally bankrupt, and I wouldn't let my kids see this. Karate is about discipline, learning, and control of one's self. This show doesn't do that. It's your typical modern problems B. S. story with the benefit of getting the original actors caught up in the production. The high reviews are from people that don't think when they watch this.

Resident Evil (2022)

Few good things

[3/10 · 29 July 2022]

I've watched episodes 1-3.

The good: The flare in episode 1 has a good lighting effect.

The use of "into dust" by Mazzy Star in episode 3.

The Wesker conversation with the bully's dad in Episode 2.

The lighting of the lickers in Episode 3.

The zombie makeup in the bathroom of Episode 2.

The bad: 1. The characters. Jade is a petulant A-hole. Billy just cries. Wesker is weak and ineffectual. Evelyn is a cardboard house wannabe. Fat bad guy is gross and stupid (catch them first and then talk) all other characters are just lame.

2. The Maryse abilities of old Jade. She should be dead. Zombies only attack 1 on one with her but swarm everyone else. She can fall 40 feet, land poorly, and not be hurt. She'd always right and a jerk about it.

3. Billie's color palet and clothes. We get it, Billie Eilish is cool... but the actress has a bad completion for the pastel colors. The wardrobe is terrible In style and color, and the makeup doesn't help.

4. The color palet of the 2022 sets. It looks like Ikea blew up.

5. The story. The bad characters are one thing, but the stories are so boring and uninspired that it's a slog to watch. Wesker is a genius apparently, but he gets cucked and never stops people from doing obviously dangerous stuff. Other characters do obviously dangerous stuff they know is stupid but ... script needs extra drama so screw thinking.

There's more but this is a fair perspective of the issues. Watch it if you want, but it's terrible on too many levels.

Update: Finished the series

There were a few good moments but the show was a waste. Keeping it at a 3.

In Search of Tomorrow (2022)

So you needed to pad it out with Will Wheaton?

[4/10 · 2 July 2022]

The director must be a fan or friend of will wheaton because they used him WAY too much. It actually too away time from people who worked on the film just to hear another diatribe . They did the same with Alex Winter who is completely detached from the film being discussed and the audience.

That's on the director and editor.

At 5 hours, this movie is a slog. The actual discussion of the films takes a back seat to nonsense comments from non-affiliated d-list celebrities. Then, you get a breath of fresh air from people like Dee Wallace or Adrianne Barbeau when they talk about the set.

A 10/10 is not realistic. It's overlong and it deviates too much to be above a 4. I saw these issues with in search of Darkness 2 and that's just sad. I'm done crowdfunding these projects.