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pipmears
Reviews
The Vampire Next Door (2024)
Sooo bad but I couldn't stop watching
The special effects budget was about £2.50, most of which was spent on red corn syrup and eyeliner to draw squiggly lines on Victoria's face. Victoria's costumes came from the SHEIN Halloween sale. Cameron was as likeable as Covid on your birthday and at least then you still get presents. Why Diane was vaguely interested in Cameron was the greatest mystery as she was a beautiful woman and he looked like a McDonald's employee. For the entire film the ice cream shop didn't have a single customer to save on the cost of extras. All of this terribleness was why I couldn't stop watching this movie until the end. At one point it seemed like it was going to turn into a porno but alas no as this did seem to be the director's true calling. All the actors gave it their best shots with what little they had to work with. Gold stars to you all and to the director and writer I will leave you with the comment my sister's teacher gave her in a school report "Jessica always likes to contribute in class however the relevance of her contributions are not always apparent".
Smile (2022)
Empathy for the evil entity
I went to see this movie last night and the more I think about it the more I feel sorry for the evil entity. Let me explain.
- For a start it has to move home every four to seven days and for anyone that has moved house you'll know how stressful that is.
- It also has to be constantly full on evil with no days off to just chill out and relax. Everyone needs a holiday or you'll just be burnt out and won't love your work anymore.
- My other thought was that it must have to spend a lot of time and effort on trying to find its next traumatised victim to jump into. Sure'll it would be easier to just not being evil?!?!
Archive (2020)
Written by someone with zero IT knowledge
Yes the actor playing George is easy on the eye and the cinematography is beautiful but my compliments stop there. What was meant to look futuristic was clunky and dated. Why did George need to give a robot a walk-talkie, surely in "The Future" the robot wouldn't need one. Also in the "The Future" the video streaming quality is much poorer than we have in the present. Why are they using giant game cartridges, why would a robot need a VR headset and surely they could build a facility without lots of door frame bottoms to trip over?! Don't bother to try and figure out the plot because the ending makes it null and void. Worth watching to enjoy picking apart.