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Brightburn (2019)
1/10
Mean-spirited violence with no story . . .
2 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This pathetic movie bills itself as "Superman gone Bad." And when I heard that tagline I was intrigued enough to buy a ticket - something I now regret. Because this isn't a bad Superman - it's just a bad movie.

Here's the entire plot: A mindless orgy of hyperviolence and grisly murder by an alien child with superpowers. That's it. You now know the entire movie.

There is no backstory, no explanation for the child's homicidal mania. He's just a crazy superpowered murder-machine. The director has no need for story. Instead, he's content to maximize blood & gore - taking great pleasure in depicting each murder with excessive detail. Amplified sounds of crushing bones, bodies suddenly blasted to pieces, close up shots of glass chunks jamming into eyeballs, death-ray vision blowing holes in people's heads.

My advice is to skip this movie entirely and instead watch the terrific 1956 film "The Bad Seed." It's also about a murderous child, but is told skillfully and persuasively - and was nominated for 4 Academy Awards. You might also check out Episode 73 of "The Twilight Zone" (1961). Titled "It's a Good Life," it is a compelling glimpse into the mind of an impulsive 6-year-old child with deadly superpowers. It stars Billy Mumy as the awful child, and Cloris Leachman & John Larch as his very frightened parents. Unfortunately the director of "Brightburn" never saw either of these two excellent productions - because if he had, he would have quickly realized he needed to include a story . . . .
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Rocketman (I) (2019)
5/10
Uneven at best . . .
31 May 2019
Uneven is the kindest verdict I can give to Rocketman. There are a three or four brilliant scenes where the film absolutely sparkles. And there are 30 or 40 other scenes where it slogs along clumsily and overwrought. And shockingly, the film runs completely out of storyline at least 40 minutes before it finally ends. The filmmakers desperately try to fill this extra time with endless scenes of poor Elton feeling so sad and misunderstood that only drugs and self-pity can help. And he takes ample doses of both . . . over and over . . . to the point where you will begin to roll your eyes and lose interest.

But do not despair, the movie eventually comes to an end. And when it does, you are immediately greeted by an onscreen newsflash notifying you that Elton is now sober! And what a relief you'll feel - like a double-dose of good news! Not only is Elton okay but this mess of a movie is finally over!

The music is good but you knew that going in. (It's Elton John for god's sake.) There are a couple of fantastic magical-realism scenes. (Concert at The Troubadour; suicide vision at the bottom of the pool). And there are some interesting coming-of-age, discovering-musical-genius scenes. But the vast majority of the film is insufferable whimpering: "mommy doesn't love me; daddy's so mean; no-one understands me; and you don't like me 'cuz I'm gay." All of that may be true - but none of it is as offensive as having to pay 12 bucks and sit through 2 hours of this steaming pile of self-pity.
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Sneaky Pete (2015–2019)
5/10
A poorly scripted annoyance
10 May 2019
I was excited to watch this series because of the high IMDb rating. And for the first 15 or 20 minutes I was pulled in and looking forward to binge watching all 3 seasons. But by the end of Episode Two I started wondering whether this was intended as a suspenseful drama or a lightweight comedy. The plot is illogical, with such gaping holes that a thoughtful viewer will become frustrated. And the tone of each episode continually vacillates between extreme violence and light-hearted, "look how cute I am" dialogue. The cinematography and acting are very good - but the plot development is so unconvincing that characters are left stranded in their scenes - forced to compensate for poor scripting by trying to frantically charm their way through scenes. For the Facebook crowd, that's probably enough to keep them watching. But for discerning viewers it doesn't cut it, and you'll soon be reaching for the remote . . . .
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Glass (2019)
1/10
Complete drivel and I want my money back
20 January 2019
I made the mistake of reading the good reviews and then going to see the movie. It cost me $40 for 2 tickets, one large popcorn and a small soda. Still, I thought it would be worth it - stadium seating; an evening downtown; a fun experience. Wrong! I was completely duped by lying reviewers - played for a sucker. They must all be friends of the director or investors in the project - because this movie absolutely stinks. It may be the worst movie I've seen in at least 10 years. A complete disjointed mess and I want my money back!

But since they don't offer refunds for terrible movies - even ones as horribly bad as this - the next best thing I can do is save you from making the same mistake. Do not waste your money on this garbage. Do not support this lazy, garbage-filled excuse of a movie. Better to give your money to a stranger - or toss your cash into a fire just to watch it burn. That alone would be more entertaining than this pathetic movie. It is astonishingly bad; hopelessly slapped together. An inept regurgitation and a complete embarrassment for anyone associated with the project.
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