Reviews

7 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
Elephant (2003)
2/10
I must have missed something,
6 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I hated this movie. It had some nice camera work but that's the only good thing about it. It lazily tries to convey high school alienation by just not developing anybody and leaves the job of sympathy for the characters up to the subject matter, which you may or may not have been manipulated by. I obviously wasn't.

It's not surprising that Van Sant picked the actors out of school hallways. Which means I'm hinting that the acting was mediocre. I'm surprised the whole movie wasn't directed by a student considering how amateur it is.

And then the film fails at even being disturbing because actions conducted by the characters during the shooting were so illogical that it became hilarious. When the two shooters first walk into the library, holding massive tech-9's btw, the geek girl turns to them, somehow misses the tech-9's, and says something like "You guys..." before getting shockingly blown away. Then Ricky....I mean the kid with the camera, just stands there and stares at them and takes a picture. Aww, that's beautiful and poignant. 10! 10! Then while guns are going off, one kid in class (who btw was sitting around with the rest of his class in a circle discussing how to spot a gay person.....okay.....) gets up to check it out while the teacher does nothing, shockingly gets blown away (which has the most noticeable goof in film history)) so the class calmly walk over and drag their shot dead classmate in, which brings us to "Benny", the most illogical character of the whole movie. Why he walks around like a freaking idiot is never mentioned. He can't be mentally challenged, because he knows enough to help a classmate through a window. He's not deaf, because he sees the bloody corpses and fires. He's not trying to stop the killers, because he just casually walks over to one of the killers (before shockingly getting blown away) like he's going to ask him what time it is. What is his deal? More poignant art, I suppose. And finally, we have the couple in the meat locker. They are surrounded by windows and exits which lead directly to the front of the school and away from danger, so they hide there.

This was pretentious crap pretending to be art. And borrowed a bit too much from Kubrick, I might add. Hey look, one of the teen killers is a Beethoven fan. Where have I seen that before?

A better film, albeit over the top, is Bang Bang You're Dead.
2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
7/10
Decent chick flick
23 October 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I was expecting more from this because it got a Best Comedy nomination from the Golden Globes and a BAFTA nomination for Best Screenplay, but really, it's mostly just a chick flick. It follows almost all of the chick flick clichés. A whiny protagonist, a bitch antagonist, the whiny protagonist and bitch antagonist getting on goodish terms at the end, flamboyant gay guys, a charming guy who is exposed as a two timing jerk, the whiny protagonist's boyfriend being some guy with no personality, etc.

But it was enjoyable. It has great performances from Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt, and Stanley Tucci, and some witty dialogue. I probably wouldn't watch the movie again though.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6/10
The most overrated movie I've ever seen
2 October 2007
After hearing so much praise over it from the entire planet, I firmly believe it IS the most overrated movie of all time. Everyone spreads around that it is "the best science fiction film ever made" and it's the best of Kubrick. Everyone. I feel like I'm missing something here. How is this better than A Clockwork Orange and Dr. Strangelove? As of now I've seen 7 Kubrick movies, the other 6 were better.

I watched it once with huge expectations, and I was extremely disappointed with it. Since people were still saying the movie was amazing, I decided to give it a second chance. So I watched it again with low expectations, and I still didn't think it was anything more than decent. In fact, my rating went down. I gave it TWO chances and still wasn't impressed.

My problem with the movie is that it is one of the slowest movies I've ever seen. It basically goes like this: long shot with classical music in background, long shot with classical music in background, long shot with classical music in background, a bit of dialogue, long shot with classical music in background, long shot with classical music in background, some more dialogue, long shot with classical music in background, long shot with classical music in background...

For the first hour of the movie I was content with this, the next five I was starting to lose patience. It's so slow like this that by the time we got passed the monkey montage I started to lose interest in everything. Too little dialogue, too little interesting characters, too many long shots. It just isn't my thing.

But this doesn't mean the movie is horrible. I gave it a 6 for a reason (albeit barely a 6). The cinematography is amazing, the shots are nice, extremely impressive visual effects - highly earned Oscar for Kubrick, and a creepy atmosphere. Pretty much anything technical this film gets an A+ with. And HAL is an interesting villain.

For me, this is one of those movies that everyone loves, and as much as you want to, you just can't. Maybe I should give it another chance... third time's a charm. But how many times do I need to watch something in order to like it?
12 out of 26 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
One of the best films about racism
16 July 2007
One of the reasons I like the film is that the racism isn't shoved down your throat. It's subtle and believable. There's no characters standing around screaming about "Those goddamn Mexicans, I don't want THEM changing my locks so THEY can rob the place with their little essays!", right in front of them.

The acting is great all around, and Edward Norton gives one of the best performances of all time. I can't believe he didn't win best actor. While I haven't seen Benji's performance, I doubt he was half as good as Norton. The film is also highly inspirational and moving.

How is it that this wasn't even nominated for best picture, while Crash was AND won? Crazy.

This should be shown in schools.
71 out of 82 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Cruel Intentions 2 (2000 Video)
1/10
Possibly the worst movie ever made
9 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
There isn't one decent scene.

Amy Adams gives one of the worst performances of all time. Proof that you a can start anywhere. The guy playing Sebastian sucks, too. He doesn't even look much like Ryan Phillipe. More like Joshua Jackson. The two other girls are terrible, as well.

Then the dialogue is also crap.

Sebastian (About to have threesome): If you cant beat them...

Virgin Girl: Who says you can't beat 'em?

Lame.

The ending contradicts the entire plot of the original. In the first film, it is clearly stated that Kathryn and Sebastian never had sex. One of the reasons Sebastian wanted Kathryn so bad, aside from the fact that she's played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, was that she was "the only girl he couldn't have and it killed him". She was a tease who liked playing with him. The fact that she never gave it to him increased his wanting. Then in this P.O.S., it implies that he CAN have her, along with a girl on the side. What? And we don't even see the sex, either. It's implied, making it not only stupid, pointless, and contradictory, but worthless too.

And in the first one, Kathryn rejects Sebastian because he fell in love, making him a loser. Even though he won the bet, that crumbled his chances. Then in this excrement, he looses AND falls in love. So she doesn't screw "losers", only complete losers? Another thing: it's stated that Sebastian has never been in love, so what do you call the thing with Virgin Girl?

Then at the end, virgin girl is all of sudden revealed to be Kathryn's evil lesbian lover (dun dun dun) and, like I said, they go into a lame offscreen threesome. Stupid.

There's several other plot contradictions. Did the writer even see the first film? A 5 year old can point his stuff out.

After the threesome, Sebastian has sex with the blonde virgin, corrupting her innocent mind in the back of a limo while Kathryn and Virgin Girl Turned Evil Lesbian In Lame Sudden Plot Twist sit in the front, listen, and smile evilly into the camera.

The end...

Seeing Sebastian become the ass hole he was in the first one could have made an interesting film. I guess all it took to make little Sebastian bad was a threesome with two hot girls. Interesting.
18 out of 27 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Departed (2006)
9/10
Brilliant
11 November 2006
Before seeing this, I knew I was in for a treat, given that it's a Scorsese movie, but The Departed was even better than I expected.

The acting is outstanding. Leonardo DiCaprio gives what is quite possibly the best performance of his career. Even the people who hate him admit he did a good job. It's turned some haters into fans and my brother who despises him even says he was great. Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson give their best performances since The Talented Mr. Ripley and As Good As It Gets. Mark Wahlberg almost steals the show with the best lines. Ray Winstone, Alec Baldwin, and Martin Sheen are good, too.

Definitely one of the best films of the 00's. And easily one of the best remakes of all time. It's intense, funny, exciting, suspenseful, superbly acted, violent, has great characters, and has one of the most shocking scenes I've ever seen. And there's not a boring moment in it's two and a half hour running time.

The film will most likely be nominated for picture, director and adapted screenplay, and in my opinion, it deserves all three of them. DiCaprio and Wahlberg also deserve nominations.

See this as soon as you can.
405 out of 683 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Horrendous
2 June 2006
I had never seen an IMAX movie before I saw this, so naturally I was excited to see it, unaware of the 40 minutes of torture awaiting me.

This film has the dumbest plot in history. An untalented rock star (Jasper Steverlinck - Who? Exactly.) returns to his mom's haunted castle where he encounters the devil (Harry Shearer), who is going by the name of Mr. D (*cringe*) and is forcing rock stars to work for him, or else he kills themwith guilotines and crap. "Mr. D" also killed Jaspy's mom (who is equally untalented in music as her son) and is now trying to get Jasper to work for him (God only knows what Mr. D sees in this hack). We're forced to watch this cringefest and listen to the worst music ever for a slow and painful 40 minutes. We hear the main characters song (which seems to be the only song he knows) like 5 times.

Seeing this was the first time I've ever wanted to walk out of a movie, but the IMAX had us in locked seats like on a roller coaster (not sure if that's how all IMAX movies are?). It made me feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange. Your humble commenter was boo-hoo-hoo-ing for the credits to roll. Of course, wants they came along, we got to hear Japser's song all the way through again. :(

0/10 - AVOID AT ALL COSTS
3 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed