petermillett Reviews

Colditz (2005)

Desperate Housewives meets The Great Escape

[3/10 · 13 September 2005]

This made for TV movie has a broad appeal. WWII enthusiasts will probably be lukewarm on it though. Young couples who are tired of watching reality shows may perhaps give it a go.

It starts off with some dashing suspense, but quickly dissolves into something like an episode of Desperate Housewives. (Love triangle, romantic obsession, deception, betrayal, bored inmates etc.)

All that's missing from Colditz is Teri Hatcher and a melted measuring cup.

Damien Lewis is excellent. Quite the opposite from his Band of Brothers character. Jason Priestly also has a nice small role. Again, he is nothing like his character on Beverly Hills 90210 (although I'm sure he must have felt some similarities between the two roles when he first read the script).

So, go ahead and watch it if you want to. But if you are a WWII enthusiasts (or not part of a romantic couple) then you're probably better off watching The Great Escape on DVD.

Mosquito Squadron (1969)

It's so bad it's good...

[3/10 · 25 August 2005]

Mosquito Sqaudron is a pleasant surprise. An unashamedly low-budget WWII flick with some classically cheesy comedic scenes. The script for Mosuito Sqaudron closely resembles the Mosquitos themselves – wooden and full of holes. Hey, but that doesn't really matter. Nothing quite puts a smile on your face like watching David McCallum and his co-star driving through the English countryside without a brush of wind disturbing their hair (in near perfect studio-bound silence). Another giggle is the RAF pilot who is missing his right arm, but has an alarmingly large bulge concealed under his shirt (on the upper right hand side). However, my personal favourite is the ultra-camp photo of Qunit and Scotty in their tennis whites. This chummy photo appears throughout the film, including Scotty's parents house, and on Scotty's work desk (in place of his wedding photo.) Anyway, asides from these cherry 60's subtleties, there is a pulsing love triangle to follow, and some impressive weaponry to be dazzled by:

Our man Quint is torn by his brooding love for Beth (his best buddy's wife), and guilt-ridden by the knowledge that he may have to drop a giant bouncing India-rubber ball on Scotty's POW camp (that may flatten his best tennis buddy for once and for all). So who will win out at the end of the day? Will Quint score his best buddy's wife as his new trophy? Or will Scotty serve his last ace in the POW camp?

Will anyone care? Probably not.

The action in the movie reminds me a little of a Ben Stiller — Owen Wilson action flick. Maybe it's the 'Zoolander' type head band that Scotty wears. The fighting is definitely as camp and clumsy, and the tomato sauce is definitely overdone.

Thankfully, the real Battle of Britain was not entrusted to these bumbling few or else we'd all be speaking German by now.

Anyone for tennis?