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My Family (2000)
Worse than Torchwood
How this execrable series ever got commissioned is a complete mystery. The scripts are possibly the least funny of any sitcom ever (well, since 'Are You Being Served' anyway), Robert Lindsay and Zoe Wannamaker seem to be phoning their performances in from another planet and the 'actors' playing the kids are a total talent-free zone. The humour is about as sharp as a spoon. The whole programme is strictly division three.
Torchwood, this object, Bonkickers...... What's WRONG with the Beeb these days? They're turning into ITV (A channel that has NEVER had a remotely funny sitcom!).
Just chuck the whole lot and show repeats of Blackadder, I Claudius and Fawlty Towers.
Braveheart (1995)
Terrible, terrible, terrible
Unhistorical, badly acted, overwrought rubbish.
What the hell an intelligent, capable actor like Patrick McGoohan is doing in this dreg is beyond me. Perhaps he had a big bill that needed paying.
One of the few films of recent years that is worse than 'Titanic'.
I'm not sure I can write a minimum of ten lines about this garbage. I suppose if I just cut and paste 'it's rubbish, don't watch it' a few times to use up the space.............
In short, Avoid.....'it's rubbish, don't watch it'.... 'it's rubbish, don't watch it'
A Christmas Carol (2000)
Lame update of Dickens' classic.
Badly written attempt to modernise Dickens' classic Christmas story. Directed by somebody who thinks they're making a pop video. And if the writing and direction are bad, the acting......... Well, it's Ross Kemp doing his usual 'cockney wide-boy with mad, staring eyes and croaky voice' act. About as convincing as Dick Van Dyke in 'Mary Poppins'. "Stroike a li' guvnah".
Even Michael Caine was better in the Muppet version. I'd rather watch the moronic musical version. (Well actually, I'd rather poke my eyes out with lollipop sticks but watching Albert Finney trying to sing and dance is - marginally - less painful).
Avoid. If you know what's good for you. This is "dead aht ov ordah".