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Reviews
Infini (2015)
Best Sci Fi Film this year!!!
SPOYLA ALERT!! hate to give it away - but I was trolling you. this is a piece of pain. The twist in the film -wait for it - its a piece of junk.
you know when your a kid and you play that game- asking questions like: would you rather have sex in public with a mangled bear - OR watch your parents have sex for a week? well the new version is- Would you rather die in a towering inferno of used condoms? or watch Infini?
In the words of the bard- let me count the ways.
1. video game dialogue, i suspect written by a 14 year old- while playing metal gear solid, while watching Aliens. E.g: "NOOOOOOOO"...."Do you hear me soldier!?!"...."can't we just talk about it??!" - you get the point. they didn't.
2. daytime soap acting- - literally daytime soap- i think i saw half the cast on $@@! and away. like really. this is what happens when you cast based on jawline rather than delivery lines. some of them are attractive. none of them can act.
3. The worst set of accents ever seen on an English speaking film. imagine Sam Worthington times 8 minus charisma. "G'day" in a sci-fi film doesn't work...
4. plastic props and Phone video effects. its like they walk down one end- turn the camera around and walk back and pretend its a new hall. For the effects- i think they set their Phone filters to "Sunset excrement" level 8.
5. confusing editing. it is fine to be non linear- but you need to indicate a stretch of time with a dissolve or a fade- hard cuts between time with no indicator is like cramming my head between two DVD copies of this waste. The whole - "you figure it out at the end" is bad filmmaking - and a bad excuse. its fine if its a twist that is revealed at the end, but if its- what the bejesus is this film about? then its bad. its like eating a trashcan meal to be told "it tastes good at the end!". yeah when its pushed out and re-digested perhaps it does taste better.
6. bad. derivative soundtrack and style. - i think they just set the recorder to alien and took out every pleasant note- and replaced it with air conditioner.
7. the guy from the dancing show is the lead actor- maybe cos he's photogenic. maybe cos he sucked off the crew. the final shot in the film literally is a money shot of him covered in a ectoplasm substance. Everyone I watched it with tried hard to pretend it didn't look like man cream so we d look immature. The Man - cream supervisor on the film got the viscosity wrong on that one.
8. its like a bunch of roadies and crew from crappy films decided to get together and make a film themselves for the waste of it with a lot of money- but decided they were sick of scripts, directors, actors, plot and clues.
9. plot. i mean wow. what plot. its like they said- "lets get the beginning of T@#$, the middle of #$omet#$$, the end of #$lien , the part in rob#$%op where they're in the locker room", and so on. you can literally look to any scene- and say " I've seen that before. and better".
what a *beep* waste of my IT@#$S credit , avoid like the the ManCream like substance the hero gets covered in. unless you like being covered in misery- and the feeling of hopelessness following your being and soul for a few days.
don't; believe any positive reviews on this site. Like Nazi Germany and their propaganda, a lot of small budget films, i suspect that half the people that worked on it and there relatives are bombarding these posts on this site to make the film look better than it is- i mean who bloody freezes the movie- to check the codes on a screen in a piece of dog waste film like this.
Battle of the Year (2013)
Finally a BBoy Movie!!!
I have waited my whole life for a bboy movie.....and now I wish I hadn't..... Bad acting. Bad script. Bad Directing- OK so that's to be expected - this is nt scoresece and Dicaprio here- but what you watch a film like this is for the dancing, the bboying. To the Directors credit- he has assembled some of the finest bboys in the world, such as Kid David, Do Knock, etc- and Chris Brown isn't much of a bboy but his flips and dancing give him some credibility- and the show some star power. And the bboyin? it is good- lets give it that-
but everything else about this film is sooooo clumsy and bad- that it undermines even the finest flares. First we have the alcoholic coach cliché. Then we have the film referencing a bboy documentary- that the director himself made- two characters literally flip the DVD in - and say "you haven't seen this?? its like the best DVD on bboying there is!!" ...no shame. its that kind of film. I pray to the gods of windmills and six step that benson lee is never given another opportunity to work with a camera and actors again. documentary is fine, dance video - again fine, but the art of film is clearly lost on this guy. please do not watch it. it hurts.