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leobardolouisrodriguez
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The Sacrifice Game (2023)
missing: gore, humor, and skillful execution
If a movie is halfway decent and clearly made in fun or reverence, and that fun or reverence transfers successfully to the screen, I can make peace with a flawed film and be happy.
Satanic Panic and The Void come to mind as recent, cult-related movies that are of a higher caliber.
This was a bland film. The acting was pretty flat--I don't mean to call out anyone, but the teacher and the two girls, specifically, were weakly portrayed. They read their lines like they were puppets who were lying to me.
Aside from that, the gore is a little silly, which would be fine, but coupled with the tenuous plot and the rather silly batch of characters and the only thing really left to marvel at?
Well, I enjoyed the costuming and the setting. But overall it's a boring film and I suggest passing on it.
Off the top of my head, movies that have.
You Hurt My Feelings (2023)
tepid socks
In all honesty, I left the theater still WANTING to like the movie--I mean, it's JLD!--but I just didn't. Almost nothing about it synchronized with any good review I could give it. It was flat almost entirely. The performances seemed to struggle with the writing, or vice-versa. Either way, they were all at odds.
I think the joke about the socks might summarize how I felt about the whole thing: The joke being there is a wall of socks at Paragon, and it's so...big. That's pretty much the meat of it. I did not laugh, I did not chuckle. I mostly nodded to myself and thought, Yes, I know that wall of socks, and it is kind of humorous.
Blue Lights (2023)
Gripping, entertaining, great acting, loose threads
I'm dying laughing because another review seemed a bit upset that this was a ripoff of the Rookie and could not let that go.
I actually had the same thought during the first ten minutes of the show, but that's where the comparison ends--the on-paper premise of three probationary officers.
Otherwise, this is a very engaging, well-acted, and tightly produced police drama. It is normally not my cup of tea, but the actors were really quite great and the overarching plot was dynamic enough for a six-part series. If it had gone on much longer I might have needed them to change gears, but then there we were, wrapping up episode 6.
My only complaint would be that several story threads went absolutely nowhere. I would have appreciated some closure. Without any big spoilers: Cal. What happened with Cal? The series just ends tying up the main conflict and then...that's it.
Enys Men (2022)
All atmosphere
I completely agree with another reviewer; this movie has some beautiful shots, almost hypnotic, really. If there was one thing I wanted MORE of when it came to Enys Men, it was time with the waves crashing against the rocks. But this kind of imagery--with a bird, with lichen, with a flower, with more lichen, oh, a bird again--went on and on and on. It was a movie that was pure symbol, with no narrative.
It was like one long metaphor without any reference point. There's not really a character for the movie to let you explore. Was she losing her mind? Maybe. Was this island caught in some sort of temporal anomaly? I mean, maybe! All I know is, the only thing I can tell you for certain about the woman is that she wears a red jacket and monitors some flowers on an island that has tragic histories.
All atmosphere, to the point of extreme boredom. I would be interested to see what the director does with more structure and an actual story.
The Den (2013)
Sure, if you don't give it a lot of thought
This is not a very good movie. The absurdity isn't the problem--I like absurd movies, but there has to be some set of rules contained within that absurdity, some logic that it follows. Otherwise: nonsense.
Once you ask yourself a question or two, then the questions just begin to avalanche. First, you might wonder why the main character continues using The Den--you could rationalize it at first by saying, sure, it's part of her project. Until the disappearances and harassment begin.
Then you might ask, when her boyfriend goes missing, why does she not know ANYBODY ELSE from his life other than chat "buddies" he never speaks to?
Then you wonder, when her sister is attacked, what is the point of someone recording the stalking of her at the scene if she's never going to see the footage?
Then you go back and all the silly holes turn this thing into a slice of Swiss cheese. BUT, there are props to it for some fun gags and jumps. So if you have a dull morning and want to put something on while you lift weights or do dishes, go for it.
Lockwood & Co. (2023)
I don't get the love for this show
I would like to preface this by saying that I read two glowing reviews of this show and decided prematurely that I was ALL IN. It sounded right up my alley. I watch a variety of different genres, eras, and networks, from Full House reruns to The Newsreader to 30 Rock to Slasher to Watchmen to Riverdale to Vox Machina. The list goes on. It's hard to find a show I wont' give a chance, is what I'm getting at.
This was terrible. From the start, the kids are insufferable. Maybe they are written the way they are written in the books--haven't read them. But they were joyless to watch "banter." Then once we get to the cheap CGI and the writing, I had checked out.
Disappointing, as I was looking forward to having another supernatural show to watch.
Kindred (2022)
Heartbreaking disappointment of an adaptation
Kindred is my favorite book--well, at least in the Top 5 stack I keep on my nightstand. I've always loved it, I give a copy out as a gift whenever the moment is right. It's just a very good book, and other reviewers over the years have praised it much better than I can.
This show left me feeling gutted. I could not tell if it was the actor or the writing, my bet is both, but Dana was INSUFFERABLE. And unfortunately, she was not the only one whose performance and line delivery made me cringe.
I honestly couldn't watch it past episode two. If the production values were solid and interesting, or if I felt like the liberties the show was taking with the original novel's plot might lead somewhere new and worthwhile, I would have tried to truck through it. But it just wasn't worth it. I'm sorry that this was the introduction to Butler's novel for anybody.
A Wounded Fawn (2022)
Bonkers genre-shattering little film
I'm not saying this movie breaks new ground; it simply brings elements of various cinematic experiences--slashers, grindhouse, giallo, Greek drama, comedy--and smashes them all together so that in the end you're sifting through their pieces.
It's really a fun movie with obviously committed performances, the kind that really make it a joy to watch as the actors move through scenes.
There's plenty of blood, the very red Argento-style kind. There are a few jump scares. Some tense music.
It sounds, to me, like plenty of people went into this ovie wanting a good slasher, from start to finish, and were disappointed by the tonal changes. For me, that's when the film really got memorable, so if you heed that caveat, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Props to the costumer; for a lower budget film, really solid and creepy.
Living (2022)
Well, the acting is very good
The performances by pretty much every actor in this film were terrific. The look of the movie, when you compile all the little details--cinematography, coloring, costuming--was impressive, too. It wasn't a spectacle but thoroughly captured a certain place and time in British history.
Unfortunately, the third act fell prey to lazy, obvious writing that completely undermined the heartfelt performances. I literally groaned (and felt embarrassed about it, since the theater was half full) when the gentleman all decided to have a 'moment' on the train. It's supposed to carry some kind of emotional depth and resonance but felt paper-thin--at best.
I suppose I'd say watch it if you enjoyed the original, or have an interest in a particular kind of British film. But I wouldn't pay a theater ticket for it. Go see The Quiet Girl instead--now THAT was a tearjerker.
Malevolence (2003)
atmospheric/nostalgic slasher B-movie fun
I think to like this movie you have to really appreciate its complete seriousness about and reverence for the millions of movies that came before it. It's not Black Phone or The Babadook or Sinister or Scream or Get Out or Hereditary or Paranormal Activity.
What it is is a very atmospheric, slasher B-movie that has a lot of flaws but, given budget constraints, very clearly is a labor of love. And while it wasn't scary, the music and sets and shots were creepy and, for me, they produced a sort of fuzzy nostalgia in me for all the times I sat in some dark room watching a movie like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Sleepaway Camp for the first time.
Give it a shot. You'll know in the first half hour if you want to finish it.
A House on the Bayou (2021)
Silly and fine for an afternoon
This was forgettable, and way too dedicated to the allure of 'the twist,' but in the end it was good for some laughs, the cinematography was nice, and for that I'd say it's overall decent.
I think people are confusing acting with script/dialogue--the actor's themselves are not terrible; I've seen far worse in similar roles. The script is groan-worthy from time to time, often just pretty cheesy and expository...so my gut tells me they did the best with the material.
Solid 5. Not great, also not regretting putting it on while making dinner.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021)
Tender, warming film about a shell
That almost says it all--though I admit I was actually fairly invested in the documentary-making bachelor, as well.
I'm not sure what I was expecting heading into a movie like this, but what I got was a lovely, tight story about companionship, loss, and the importance of meaningful connections. It all felt pretty magical, to be honest, and I was in a pretty grumpy mood going in.
Highly recommended.
The Black Phone (2021)
Boring, underwhelming, disappointing
I don't know where all these positive reviews are coming from. I respect everyone's right to their own opinion about a film, but for me, I obviously had high hopes thanks to the first Sinister movie, and the fact that this was based on a Joe Hill story (not my favorite author by any means but a good storyteller). Did not come close to my expectations.
This was not scary, nor really thrilling or definitely not mysterious, or thoughtful. Ethan Hawke was not in it nearly as much as it would lead you to believe, which is a shame, and--I'm sorry--the child actors needed a few more years or better acting coaches. It's got all the setup for a horrifying premise with a touching, nuanced spin, but in the end it was just a dud.
I very much liked the mask itself, though, for what it's worth. And if that was really Ethan Hawke's body, I mean, good for him, still got it.
Benediction (2021)
Moderately interesting collage
My initial reaction was, "unfocused and messy," but someone else called it a collage, and I think that is a more accurate description of the film.
It's not a biography, it's not really about war, or love, or living a closeted life during a specific period in UK history; it's not about aging; it's not about poetry, or trauma. The title suggests it might be about guidance, blessing, or redemption, but in regard to what, I can't really say.
It's also about all of those things, depending on the minute. The movie changes focus quite a few times, and I found that incredibly frustrating. After two and a half hours, I did not leave with any firmed-up impression of Sassoon, or the basic intention of the film.
Having said that, the lead actor and the rest are all perfectly enjoyable to watch, the dialogue is organic, and aside from spliced-in war footage, it is pleasing to the eye. It's a good choice for watching on demand or otherwise at home. But it's not a movie that lingers.
Torn Hearts (2022)
Fun but flawed
This was fun but as another reviewer remarked, mostly just watchable thanks to Katey Sagal. I think it needed to really let loose and have more fun with itself. There was a level of crazy that Katey Sagal seemed ready to unleash, but that the script and story hampered. There were a few pacing decisions I also thought were jarring, particularly in the last few minutes.
Which is not to say there wasn't plenty of pink and a warehouse of wigs hanging around.
All in all, a decent afternoon but not a classic.
Men (2022)
Disappointing, but props to Kinnear
To say that this movie beat its own metaphors to death would be some kind of understatement. But I really needed it to pick a lane to stay in, and I found myself almost bored by the time it got to the, uh, vivid climax.
There was some pagan-related tomfoolery that I also think kind of muddled everything but which was possibly supposed to be some sort of glue--it was hard to tell.
The acting was certainly skillful, though, especially by Kinnear. And I'll never say no to a lot of dreary, pastoral landscape, so it checked those boxes.
Alaskan Nets (2021)
Heartwarming, well-done documentary
This was a nice surprise.
The cinematography was crisp from the get-go, which was a good sign. The production values were solid and the people were interesting enough. The story in the end was pretty heartwarming with some heartbreak as well.
I had expected it to be more about the reservation itself or more explicitly about the troubled fishing economy or indigenous issues there. It was not, not really, but I don't think it was trying to hit those head on. It was a very face-value human story about how basketball resonates within the community of a small town with an even smaller but nevertheless lively population.
Highly recommended.
We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021)
Let's try this again
Had high hopes for this movie. It was slow, boring, not at all surprising or contemplative. There are no jump scares; there is no slow burn; there are no jarring moments. The scariest part is the synopsis of it. For a movie with only two characters, the acting was not strong enough to forgive the dullness.
Întregalde (2021)
Stressful, scenic parable
This is not a horror movie, though at times it resembles one: Darkened woods, coarse locals, rusty things, wolves (possibly), a lack of cell service, plenty of bickering, dwindling food.
The scenery is lovely until it is not and turns on the barely likable protagonists. I spent much of the movie stressing over their choices, concepts of charity, and, interestingly, their ignorance. Sometimes you want to applaud the effort they put into providing aid to those who need it, but more often you scoff when they remark about iPads or sodomy or test-driving a Range Rover.
Or when you realize that the bags of supplies they are handing out are unnecessarily difficult to open.
I liked it. It was grating, though, and now that it made its points I don't think I'd watch it again. But still recommended.