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Coronavirus Conspiracy (2021)
Not about the Covid-19 epidemic
First of all, this movie is NOT about the Covid epidemic, regardless of the name. At first glance, I thought so too, and for the first 20 minutes of the film I was trying to connect it until I understood what was going on. In fact, the film is about everything and nothing. About the way people react to good and bad things. For pursuing illusory goals that seem insignificant years later. That the solution to one problem is the beginning of another.
It's really hard to watch a play with two actors who are shouting at each other most of the time, but after the initial orientation it became interesting and my rating of 2 points finally went to 7. Of course, it's even harder to act in such a play and credit must be given to both actors.
If you manage to watch the first 20 minutes, you'll probably enjoy it.
Girls for Rent (1974)
Holes bigger than the script
"Girls for Rent" is an example of sexploitation movies, so don't expect much from it. But still, one should not neglect the ill-conceived moves in the scenario. The film is full with illogical actions from every point of view. I'll save them for the viewer who will still want to watch the movie, but there's no way you try to shoot a stationary person from 30 yards, miss him, and then hit a speeding car and the man in it both times with two shots while driving along dirt road, barely staying in the bouncing car.
There are many other such moments in which you say to yourself "Ah, this is impossible!", "How did it turn out exactly like that?", "Is the hero really so stupid as to act so unwisely?", which spoils the impression of otherwise the good idea and the dynamic action.
The Collapsed (2011)
Interesting idea, poor execution
"The Collapsed" has everything you need for a bad movie - big holes in the script, sluggish action, long pauses, jumpy image, unknown actors who play more or less.
Except for the music. A well-composed soundtrack with classical instruments complementing (and replacing where it's missing) the action. Because of Rob Kleiner's music, the film earns at least three points over the solid two.
Otherwise - another post-apocalyptic film. The end of the world has come (not clear why), there are corpses and abandoned cars on the streets (not clear why), the main characters are fleeing the city (not clear why) and on the way they are attacked (of course - not clear why). Towards the end, some things become clear, or at least the idea of the film becomes clear. But don't expect much - the movie isn't worth it... if it wasn't for the soundtrack.
At the Earth's Core (1976)
Naive but fascinating
At the Earth's Core was made like a school play. The decorations are assembled from old boards and covered with rags. The dinosaurs are hastily painted stereofoam and walk blindly and slowly, so even a child can outrun them. The action begins suddenly, followed by a beat-em-up rush to the Earth's core so that what the authors consider to be the main story can be developed.
The film was shot entirely in a studio in the style of budget movies of the 1920s, with a childish naive story and one-sided characters. Such a film could be made by a self-made school troupe funded by the students' parents and with a little help from the school administration.
However, the film is fascinating and enjoyable to watch - sometimes the flaws become an advantage. You can laugh at the clumsy plastic dinosaurs, the cheap gimmicks and ridiculous fights, but like any fairy tale you know the ending and this one is interesting.
Zohi Sdom (2010)
Funny, but obviously not for everyone
This is Sodom made to resemble the Monty Python movies. Of course, there's no Monty Python here, and that's probably the reason for the low ratings. The action takes place in the biblical city of Sodom and tells about Lot and his family. Of course, things don't go according to the biblical story and... I won't give away what happens. There are enough funny moments in the film, playing with Jewish and the history. There are a lot of jokes, especially for a person familiar with the biblical story. The graphics are average, the effects, as far as they exist, are elementary, but the charm of the film lies elsewhere.
I see that my rating is the highest of those who have written a review and that is normal. A comedy especially about religion can never achieve the ratings of an epic religious story repeating the beliefs of believers.
Plague (1979)
Not bad, not good
Plague is a film without special qualities - average director, script, actors. It's not bad though. The action, although standard for this type of films, holds the viewer's interest. Of course, the whole "scientific" part of the movie only sounds scientific and can only mislead a person who has no concept of bacteriology, but this is also standard for this type of films. The so called bacteria in the videos is in fact Paramecium - you can get it in the nearest swamp and studi it in a standart microscope. Don't expect action, don't look for special effects. Actors play average and you won't see known faces.
All in all, if you like 70s thrillers, you won't regret it.
Ghostboat (2006)
A real gem
Sometimes, watching standard and not particularly famous movie, you stumble on a real gem. Ghostboat tells a story used in many films. A ship/submarine falls into a time tunnel... but in this movie things are much better done. The story captivates the viewer, although the plot is predictable, it is not boring. The directing and acting is perfect. Worth every minute of watching. I didn't know David Jason as an actor, but half the fun of the movie is his performance.
Of course the effects are not the best quality and there are many scenes which look as from cheap b-movie but this is not multydolar production.
Toxic Skies (2008)
Stupidity must be punished
Yes, stupidity should be punished, that's why the rating is "very bad". If the film aims to convince stupid people that the government is poisoning them from the sky, that they should put on tinfoil hats, not get vaccinated and hide in the basement, it succeeds in that direction.
But much better in that are conspiracy documentaries. We don't need to bother adding art, using actors. Stupid people will swallow anything thrown at them as long as it convinces them that they are good, but a bad government stands in their way and seeks to kill them.
Maybe years ago I would have said, so what, let there be movies like that. But after Covid I am convinced that such creations kill people. The authors of the film may not be bad people, but do bad. Stupidity must be punished.
Lethal Virus (2021)
Dumb, dumber, Covid 21
Ordinary, flat, dumb zombie movie. I enjoyed moments where there was something so dumb that other zombie movies have neglected to put it in:
- The scene with the orchid in the middle of the winter mountain. It's not clear if it was deliberately made so stupid - an indoor orchid "growing" in the wild, filmed so that the pot is not visible.
- The main character Canum's horrible English. It's clearly not his native language, but why does he bother to speak it? We would have been happy with Spanish too.
- The zombies running carefully, exactly at the speed of the fugitives in front of them. It seems that they were told "keep a distance of 3 meters, no more, no less".
- The movie starts with nothing and ends with nothing. Nothing happens in the middle too, except running from zombies of every color and shape.
- Relatively good acting. Yes, this is a drawback. You feel sorry for these decent actors, trying to do something with the film, but they don't have a chance to say or do anythig.
Overall - it's only a watch for die-hard fans of outbreak movies like me or zombie fans like the rest of reviewers who managed to sit through the whole movie.
Petya na moyata Petya (2021)
A Wonderful Elegy
Petya of my Petya is a wonderful elegy that tells both about a modern girl facing the reality of the world and injustices, and about Petya Dubarova. The latter is probably unknown to people outside of Bulgaria - she is a poetess who died at only 17 and left beautiful poems, some of which sound in the film.
Julian Vergov is a little sketchy as a villain, but that's a minor problem. The treasure in the movie are the young actors. They play naturally, there is no theatrics characteristic of Bulgarian films and the action develops smoothly and captivates the viewer.
The sound is good and the views of Burgas and the sea are beautiful.
The movie is worth it, a well thought out and made movie.
Fall (2022)
It would be great if it wasn't so funny
"Fall" is a film contraindicated for climbers. For people who are familiar with mountain climbing, this movie is more of a comedy. Many of the situations the two girls find themselves in are laughable and any novice climber will immediately point out basic mistakes.
I won't describe them all, but the most striking is that the "dead end" situation the girls find themselves in is solved in minutes with their available equipment. Even I know the knots I need and a ten minute search on YouTube gave me several videos that perfectly showed what they were supposed to do. Well, they obviously didn't watch the Tube before making this climb...
Smallpox 2002: Silent Weapon (2002)
Forgotten warning
"Smallpox" was shot in 2002. Before the SARS epidemic of 2003 and before the Covid epidemic of 2020. Unfortunately, we missed the warning and made the same mistakes as in the movie. And many others too. Some of the events in the film sound like a prediction. The lack of goods (albeit for a short time), the restrictions on movement, the overload of the health system. The analogies with recent real events are many.
However in the film the disbelief in the virus and the anti-vaccination movement are absent. It is missing the people spreading lies about vaccines, and the proud anti-vaxxers who would rather die (and often do) than get vaccinated. In 2002, we didn't know that, in addition to being vulnerable, humanity is also stupid.
We should also mention some inaccuracies. Smallpox is not that contagious - one infected person transmits the infection to an average of 4, not 10 or 20 others. The percentage of deaths is around 10%, not 30. Those born and vaccinated before 1970 were the majority in 2002, and then as well as now are protected to a very high degree.
This film has been seen by few people, it is not popular and is very hard to find. Unfortunately, we are as prepared for the next pandemic as we were in 2002 and as we were for Covid in 2020. It is only a matter of time before it happens.
Airplane vs. Volcano (2014)
Perfect absurdity
This film has so many absurd moments that it deserves watching. Opening the door in flight, people jumping from one airplane to the other... I won't reveal more details, just watch and enjoy.
The acting is decent... at least adequate to the film. As always there is a villain and a sympathetic guy who has no other purpose than saving the planet with his life... or at least the plane. The effects are what you would expect from that kind of movies - weak and cheap. Volcano animations are pathetic - this adds to the joy! But you are watching this film for the fun, won't you?
P. S. IMDB wants 600 characters so here they are: bla, bla, bla...
The King's Man (2021)
Not worth watching
The third Kingsman is not like it's predecessors. No humor, no fun and a series of boring fights. The plot is childish, the attempt to include historical persons is a total failure.
Besides the absurdity of changing the real historical events with ridiculous imitations, the film is political absurdity. In WWI the Germans were bad and the Britons were good?! Come on!
The explanation why USA were waiting too long to enter the war... This was the only laughable moment in the film. Not to mention that the images of real historical figures were so distant from their real faces that I was guessing who is who by the context, not the face.
At the end - a mixture of immature story, decent visual effects and a pinch of propaganda - this is The King's Man.
Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (1996)
Don't waste your time.
Christopher Lambert is the only thing to note for this film. He should have been more careful with choosing where to act! I have seen many B-movies, many films exploiting zombie theme but this one is the dullest.
I won't tell the plot (there isn't one). I won't evaluate the actors (they are only trying to act). I won't discus the scenery (ruins and dungeons mostly).
This film even isn't enough silly to regard it as a comedy. It is just boring.
Poor, poor Christopher...
Cave (2016)
Starts good, ends awful
The beginning of this film was promising - no monsters, no terrorists, real cave. But the holes in the plot spoil everything.
The only thing made as it has to be is the reality of the cave and caving. The actors used real equipment, the atmosphere and the space in caves are delivered truly. With one exception - phones and radios are completely useless in caves.
Within (2005)
Rather decent than not
The Cavern is not a bad film. As a long time caver I watched the film from that point of view too. The cave and the cavers technique in the film are quite realistic (I often am laughing loudly watching cave pictures). Of course the horror scenes and the creature make me and other watchers smile - but this is the demand of the genre.
I liked the shaking of the camera and the lighting of the spots of headlights - this is what you really see in the cave - there is no grandiose illumination there like in some films.
What disappointed me was the end. There have to be some more things to make for a good end - the film should not end abruptly like this.
The Lobster (2015)
Pretentious and puffed up
I picked this film after seeing Kynodontas by the same director - Yorgos Lanthimos. While Kynodontas is very good film, this one sucks.
The actors play as bad as they can - this is the intention. They act like talentless high school students in a amateur theater. They recite their parts expressionless and pretentiously.
Well I stood till the end just to see it ends the same way as the whole movie - without idea. The film is full of useless actions and conversations. There is nothing to like in it.
Breaking Surface (2020)
Beautiful but not realistic
As a long time speleologist I often laugh watching caving films. It is funny for me when I see people doing stupid things in impossible situations in caves.
I think it is same when divers watch this film. In fact some of them have said it in the reviews. I won't list all the errors, impossible things and above all the stupid behavior of the main character, you can find them yourself.
You can watch and enjoy the film but don't be surprised if you or someone in the company bursts in laughs in the most tense moments or shouts "You stupid!" or "You are thinking we are idiots to make us believe this!".
Fatman (2020)
Wrong Santa
In the season of sugar coated romantic Christmas films this one is like a fresh breath in a room full with smokers. If you want something different but your spouse insists on a Christmas movie - this one is for you! I watched it with my wife who is an avid CRM (Christmas romantic movies) watcher and she didn't complained. At least not so much... :)
Redcon-1 (2018)
Watch in only if you have to
Well, I saw the film till the end. I had to. :)
The first half is a typical zombie film, nothing interesting. The second half has some unexpected turns - some for better, some for worse.
I am fan of virus/disease movies so I wanted to see how it will end, but if you feel you can't stand anymore - feel free to stop it. You will not regret.
Hidden (2015)
An original
"Hidden" is slow paced movie with only three characters most of the time. It is more or less film for emotions and feelings of the family which lives in fear and uncertainty. The mood of the film is not artificially tense and there is no horrors only to scare the viewer.
The acting of young Emily Alyn Lind is superb! I recommend this film to people who are interested in genre and would like something more than the usual pattern of infection/zombies/we will all die.
Dark Skies (2013)
Too standard, too expected
The film is descent in terms of building a dark mood and most of the time holds attention. But unfortunately it lies in the number of standard "aliens will taking us" movies. I expected at least some originality in the choice of aliens. Greys? Lizards? Come on...
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Terrible.
I have seen many B-movies. I have seen films made with lack of resources and mediocre actors. They are not SO bad as this film.
The first John Wick film has 8 from me. The second - 5. This one couldn't get more than 1. I am sorry - negative numbers are no allowed.
May be for a 13 years old not-much-clever teen this film has some value. For the rest of humanity - no. It's a shame Keanu Reeves and Halle Berry have wasted their time acting in this s... They are good actors and don't deserve it.
Gwoemul (2006)
Boring, stupid and full of absurdity
This film is boring, stupid and full of absurdity. The characters are doing stupid things all the time, there are many long dialogs where actors just watch each other and talk nonsense.
I watched till the end to mark it "seen" but if you want you can stop after first half an hour and then FF till the last five minutes. There is nothing valuable in between.