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DougTheBrownieHunter
Reviews
Joe Rogan: Burn the Boats (2024)
Man, that just wasn't funny.
To preface, I'm not someone who lets politics prevent me from enjoying a song, movie, book, or standup. I've always been able to look past politics and this is no exception.
That being said, WOW this was painfully unfunny. I sat through this entire special with less facial expression than a brick. I didn't laugh once.
There were many times where he expected the audience to laugh and they didn't. He'd say something edgy and the crowd would be unreceptive to it, so he'd double down on it. Without commenting on politics, if your own fans (who paid to see your special) aren't laughing at your politically charged jokes, it's a sign you should reevaluate your approach and grasp of things.
Not good.
Longlegs (2024)
Wonderfully directed, terribly written. Loose ends and plot holes galore
I REALLY wanted to like this movie, but it has way too many problems.
PROS:
(1) The directing and cinematography were fantastic.
(2) Maika Monroe was excellent in the role.
CONS:
(1) Nicholas Cage just wasn't good as Longlegs. I'm really surprised that his performance is getting so much praise. He wasn't scary whatsoever, the character's design was silly, and his dialogue was mostly irrelevant to the plot.
(2) The movie doesn't make use of its most interesting plot points. For example, The main character makes quick work of the code that Longlegs uses, so it becomes a relatively minor part of the movie. For another example, the manhunt to catch Longlegs is over instantly.
(3) The movie doesn't explain some major plot points. Why is the main character clairvoyant? How does Longlegs know she's been assigned to his case? Why did Longlegs only target families with a daughter born on the 14th? Why was the main character affected when her doll was shot?
(4) The viewer has to suspend their disbelief so ridiculously hard to cover the MASSIVE plot holes in this movie. (BIG SPOILER WARNING) First off, the agents are investigating a case where every victim families have a daughter born on the 14th... are we really expected to believe that both the main character and the chief's 9y/o daughter have birthdays on the 14th and nobody thought that might be problematic? Second, the odds are astronomically low that an FBI investigator's mother is involved in the case at hand.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Terrible writing and below-average in spectacle for the MINseries
Wow this had problems. Weakest entry since MI2.
1. The Entity is a never-ending supply of plot conveniences. Covers up sloppy writing as needed. Total get-out-of-jail-free card.
2. Grace had the most irritating character writing I'd seen in years. She's the stereotypical "thief you can't trust" character who will conveniently pickpocket someone as the plot demands. Ethan's unexplained attachment to her is obsessive and nonsensical. I wanted her gone as soon as her character was introduced, and not in a good way. TERRIBLE character.
3. Waste of Ilsa Faust. Grace just neatly replaced her. Pointless death.
4. The final act involving the train was lifted right out of Uncharted 2. Completely unoriginal.
5. Pom Klementieff's character was ridiculous and unnecessary in every sense. Existed for "deus ex machina" moments and nothing else.
6. Consistently overplays the "this was part of my plan all along" card trying to make its audience think it's clever.
7. Gabriel made no sense at any point. He wasn't threatening or anything. Silly.
8. When Ethan reveals he swapped the key for the "lighter" in Gabriel's pocket at the end, I audibly groaned. Absolutely ridiculous how lazy that writing was.
9. The action scenes were a step down from the previous three movies in every way. The chase scenes weren't as well-done, the fights were over-choreographed and made no sense (e.g., Ilsa literally had a sword but insisted on choking Gabriel TWICE), and the stunts were underwhelming.
10. The dialogue feels so artificial. The scene where the various national security officials are explaining the circumstances to Cary Elwes's character was the most clearly scripted thing I'd heard in years.
Exodus (2022)
Where are the "formidable theological and literary scholars"?
I was never a fan of Jordan Peterson's fields of study so I've never given him much credence, but I've always considered him intelligent at the very least. I love religious history and philosophy, so I figured this would be a good chance to kill two birds with one stone.
I guess it's time to reevaluate some things because there wasn't a functioning brain cell in the room from start to finish. This was nothing more than a politically motivated propaganda piece disguised as a pseudo-intellectual discussion.
The statements on atheism were especially bad, and the worst came from a top-shelf religious academic. How maddening. I was baffled that he made such assertions with a straight face. I hope he gets some backlash for misstating something so central to his field.
Utter atrocity.
Shingeki no Kyojin: Thaw (2022)
Who greenlit this episode?????
How can you give us three incredible episodes in a row, raise the stakes this high, and then flub this episode so hard?
It's not like this episode had no redeeming qualities, but it totally detracts from the storyline the audience actually cares about.
First off, Gabi is absolutely insufferable. She's gotta go. Every second she's onscreen is a second that could be written better. If she's got a redemption arc coming, then PLEASE GET ON WITH IT ALREADY. Otherwise, kill her off. I'm so tired of this character, it's not even funny. Everything about her is exhausting. Even her voice is makes me cringe. I audibly laughed when Falco confessed his love for her earlier in the season. I have to believe there was some mix-up in the translation from Japanese to English, because she's utterly intolerable.
Second, whose idea was the plot point with Conny?!?! That had to be the single stupidest, "out-of-left-field" idea I've seen in a story since the S3 finale of The Boys.
TERRIBLE episode. Cool fight scenes, few heartfelt scenes (i.e., Pyxis), but that's it.
John Mulaney: Baby J (2023)
Not bad by any means, but it's definitely his weakest Netflix special.
It's John Mulaney. He's funny. I laughed.
But compared to his other specials? This was underwhelming.
Not bad by any stretch and certainly worth the watch.
Part of what I enjoy so much about him is that, yes, his stories are ridiculous and, yes, his takes are unique, but his ability to describe things creates such hilarious imagery that his humor can make use of. The variety of topics he'd hit in his first few specials were incredible and let that whole dynamic work it's magic.
Here, he's still funny as hell, but he confined his material entirely to his addiction and recovery. That's totally fine in and of itself, since that's been his life in recent years. But the grim subject matter takes the variety out of the show, making it really monotonous. It was like an hourlong story with plenty of events, but it just kept going and going.
I won't be able to rewatch this special. I'm a longtime fan and I hate to see him in this light, especially since I can't imagine him actually doing any of these things. Maybe that makes me more biased than average. Do with that what you will. Regardless, I hope we get more content like his previous stuff, except without his previous *sources of inspiration.*
2000 Mules (2022)
A showcase of mental illness, entirely unsupported by evidence
At no point does any statement or purported "evidence" in this feature-length propaganda piece come even close to reality. But because someone took the time and money to present these things in the style documentary, it must be true, right? Nonsense.
Did you notice how there were supposedly thousands of mules in major cities, but not once did D'Souza record the same mule making a second deposit? It's because they weren't mules. They were just every day voters voting by mail. So why were a few depositing more than one ballot? Because it was during a pandemic and those other ballots were those of their family and friends who didn't want to get sick in-person on Election Day. I did this exact same thing with my family, as did millions of other Americans nationwide.
Notice how D'Souza claimed to have used phone locations to track mules as they dumped ballots? How exactly could he determine which phone locators were people depositing ballots vs people just walking by? Even if he could (which he couldn't), would he really have us believe that he couldn't record a single "mule" depositing votes twice?
This is common sense. To anyone who gave this propaganda more than 1-star, no one should have to sit down and debunk every piece of misinformation you hear just to disprove something you uncritically accepted at face value. You're not doing your due diligence.
The Boys: The Instant White-Hot Wild (2022)
Very Frustrating
This wasn't a bad episode, but it subverted the entire season! Hardly anything in the season was of any consequence because of this episode!
First off, they just killed off Black Noir on a whim? No greater payoff for this silent character that's been mysteriously looming in the background since the first episode??? He spends the entire season building up the courage to take on Soldier Boy and nope. Killed because Homelander got emotional? Bad writing.
Second, Butcher turning on Soldier Boy was so incredibly irritating. Killing Homelander was the obvious priority, but the writers had the Boys fight Soldier Boy instead? Stupid. The only way to beat Homelander was written off for seemingly no reason.
Okay, so what did we get instead? Maeve sacrificing herself to take out Soldier Boy as he went to self-destruct. Kinda cool...except neither of them died and Homelander got away.
No resolution for MM over Soldier Boy.
At least the rest of the season was cool.
Life & Beth (2022)
Stop leaving bad reviews just to hate on the actress
I'm leaving this review to offset the 1/10 whiners who are only rating the show poorly to bash Amy Schumer. I'm not a big fan of her's either, but grow up.
The Invisible Man (2020)
A stellar slow burn that never bores!
Elizabeth Moss is fantastic, the writing and plot are incredible, and the concept is a refreshing take on a classic tale!
This is a fantastic movie whose only drawback is that it perhaps leaves too little to the imagination. Otherwise wonderful!
Highly recommend!
Knives Out (2019)
Not as smart as it thinks it is, but still fun
Pros: Great cast, very good performances, and very good uses of humor!
Cons: Purposefully staying vague here, but it gets very convoluted. It really leans into it toward the beginning of the third act without realizing it. It's very clear this movie wasn't written with the end in mind because the final act is a MESS.
This movie has a MADDENING issue that is squarely the fault of Rian Johnson: red herrings. No spoilers here, but this movie spits in the face of Chekhov's Gun on numerous occasions, each of which are at the audience's expense. Said differently, numerous items in the film are implied to be important due to how much screen-time they get but they are either entirely irrelevant or essentially pointless to the plot. It's not clever, it's sloppy writing and completely cheap.
Wonder Woman (2017)
Pro's vs Con's Review - Not A Thinking Man's Movie
General Conclusion: This is not a bad film but it certainly has its problems. Definitely a step up for DCEU movies.
Pro's:
-Gal Gadot in general is awesome, a great and strong female lead -Her chemistry with Chris Pine is undeniable. -The action scenes and choreography are incredible (especially the end fight) -Beautifully shot/directed -Robin Wright was awesome in what little screen time she got.
Con's:
-Terrible setting. WW1 is dreary, gray, and boring. -Abuses the "foreigner that doesn't understand social norms" trope/cliché -Humor almost always doesn't land. -Weak primary villain -Character-ruining casting for the true, hidden villain. Couldn't take them seriously. -Twist reveal of actual villain is ridiculously unnecessary and forced. -Diana and Trevor's relationship should have remained platonic. The romantic tie was stupid for such a strong female lead. There was no need for her to have a love interest. -Dialogue was definitely better than past DCEU movies, but was subpar.