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Nope (2022)
I was looking forward to this but I was quite let down.
I feel like this suffers from the same problem as 'Us' and a lot of horror movies these days where they try too hard to be smarter than they actually are or present themselves to be and just leave people underwhelmed with this random half-baked message just for the sake of trying to seem like a clever/quirky kind of movie. I want to grab some filmmakers sometimes and tell them ''It's okay to make a horror without trying too hard to be clever!''
I think Jordan Peele is starting mirror M Night Shyamalan where he made a really great, clever movie with a great twist/message but then tried to keep recreating it again and again and people can see right through these attempts and it gets really stale. Get Out was really great but I think him trying to re-create it in a way, is what's dragging his later movies down imo, he doesn't need to do that to make a good movie.
The characters are very likeable with interesting backstories and make you care about them surviving which a lot of horrors these days seem to be failing at.
I leave this till last because this might not be something that bothers some people and can look past it but the one thing that dragged the rating right down for me is the 'sky villain's' design.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I may be petty but I can't help but think I would have liked this movie a whole lot more if the design of villain in the last quarter didn't look so bad and silly in my opinion. It looked like a giant paper cut out kite with random squares in the middle.. I searched on google because I saw the monster was or was at least based on 'flying polyps' and they look so, so, so much better than the one in this movie. If the one in the movie looked anything like the images of how they typically look then I would have boosted this movie a lot more.
It reminds me of how in the movie Predator and how they almost went with this horrible lackluster design and I don't think Predator would be as popular as it is if they didn't change it to the amazing one they ended up using. This is why I believe the design is actually very important and why it ruined this movie for me but if that doesn't bother you then I think you might enjoy this movie anyway.
It kind of made me want it to be about creepy gray aliens instead because the scariest part for me turned out to be a prank where these people dressed as aliens. That scene was actually quite creepy even though it ended up being funny too and I think potentially, Peele could make a really scary 'gray alien' movie just based on that scene.
The Black Phone (2021)
Extremely over-hyped
I feel like people who have never watched a horror are rating this movie as outstanding because it's nothing like what people are making out it is. This is just another typical mediocre Blumhouse thriller that goes nowhere and you sit thinking ''Was that it?'' at the end.
People are saying it's a masterpiece, the scariest movie they've ever seen, amazing ect. But like.. it's not. It's your average thriller with nothing new or surprising and as for scary, there was nothing scary in this movie whatsoever and I genuinely don't understand what people are talking about..
There's great characters and their stories but when all you have is that, it gets boring. You don't even find out why this killer is killing or anything about his story and at the end you're just sat feeling like it was pointless.
It's not something I'd care to watch again, it's pretty bland and extremely over-hyped. I felt like I'd seen this thriller 100 times before. I will rejoice the day people stop overhyping Blumhouse trash.
There are 1000s more creative filmmakers out there that could write 1000xs better than what this company keep spewing out that deserve the attention.. 4/10.
Men (2022)
Very entertaining but not as smart as it puts out.
I liked it but not as much as I thought I would. I definitely was entertained but at the end I had to google what was going on because I was so confused.
When I was watching it I actually thought that this was about the main woman summoning a genie to either bring back her dead husband or get rid of the guilt he put on her because of the statue being in the church and her apartment in her visions. I had no idea when she could have done that exactly but I thought that's what was going on and that she turned to the statue to wish for the guilt to go away but in return it takes her soul kind of thing and it torments her.
When her husband was 'reborn' I thought that was her wish coming true finally or that when she wished for him back he actually came back in her perception of every man she came across for the rest of her life.
I had no idea who The Green Man was until after watching and looked up online to find out it wasn't what I thought and it meant something else which is okay still. I also thought it was a genie because we keep seeing those flowers that you blow to make a wish.
Again, I thought it was okay but I expected a bit more, the reveal felt a bit expected and too cliché for my total liking, I thought it was going to be something a lot more shocking and unexpected.
The main actress and actor are great, I think they make the movie really good just by themselves. I was worried it would be massively cliché where it turns out she pushed her husband out the window and she was the bad one the whole time because wow as if we haven't seen that 1000 times! Lol.
Glad the main woman denied her husband every time, he was selfish as hell! I like the tunnel scene it reminded me of Absentia with the tunnel creature.
There's still some minor things I don't fully understand but overall I thought it was kind of decent but expected a much smarter meaning and reveal to what it's all about and what was happening. It felt like it was being too abstract as an excuse not to make a conclusion as smart as it was putting out to be.
Finally, I would definitely say to watch it and decide for yourself especially if you like slow-burns or movies like Midsommar, Hereditary, Absentia etc.
X (2022)
I think the 6.7/10 is a pretty fair rating.
I think it was over-hyped quite a bit and I was expecting more but I did have fun watching it and I was entertained, it's just the creepy music, the mysterious build up & also some people's reviews make you think there was gonna be something more surprising but there wasn't and felt like it needed more as well however I love the characters/actors they were really funny and unique and I love the 70s feel, build-up and the kills are great so it was worth watching and will happily watch the prequel 'Pearl' when it's out. I think it's a movie that's best enjoyed watching with other people. :)
Scream (2022)
One of the worst sequels I've ever seen. It's so awful that I don't count it as canon. 1/10
Thanks for ruining yet another great classic franchise with the 4 previous movies ranging from decent to masterpiece.
This reboot trend needs to die already. All it is, is an excuse for lack of creativity, ideas and consistency to carry on a strong line of movies. If you can't do this then leave it for film-makers that have the capability instead of taking it for your own greed. I had a gut feeling as soon as I saw this was called ''Scream'' and not ''Scream 5'' that it was going to be the same awful cliché reboot formula that a lot of sequels are copying from each other these days and I wish I stuck to my gut.
This movie is just used to whine at the loyal og fans all the way back from 1996 (literally and calls you toxic) who wanted something better.. The whole meaning and drive of this crap new film is to trash on passionate Scream fans and they even go as far as making the killer's motives a mockery of them. It's so childish and pathetic coming from people who are meant to be grown-ass film-makers.
They literally complain about fans hating on bad reboots while making a bad reboot as if the audience is the problem.. Like what? They use Stab 8 as a symbol for bad sequels yet the irony is the few seconds you see of Stab 8 look 100x more thrilling than the entirety of Scream 2022..
Not sure how they think getting their hands on one of the biggest horror franchise and filling it with hate towards og fans is a good idea but I guess that's the new thing with childish film-makers these days that blame everyone else for not liking their god awful reboots instead of themselves and respecting other people's opinions.
Half this pointless crap movie is just the characters talking about their garbage movie opinions as if anyone cares and tries to ram it down the audience's throat about what makes a smart, inventive way to carry on a franchise without actually being smart and inventive itself.
I find this a lot with bad horror movies, they either have characters that are self-aware they're in a horror movie and talk about how to re-invent a franchise even though their ideas are terrible or they add like 1000 Easter eggs related to the original as if to say ''Look guys we bloated our movie with all these tiny references to the original, that instantly makes this reboot good right!?'' - Like no.
A quote from a friend put it right:
''So many films these days think that passing the torch is a good idea but they don't realise that the reason people watch the films is to see the proper characters'' - not some copy and paste of the garbage Halloween 2018 movie that's been done time and time again either.
This movie has some of the worst retcons and errors I've ever seen in a movie as well, like this whole time (SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Billy had a daughter.. Yep, we're supposed to now suddenly believe that someone who's entire motive for killing people because of his cheating father and Sidney's cheating mother did the exact same thing and got some random chick pregnant before his death.. It's so unbelievably stupid and to make it worse he's also an on screen vision she has that helps her survive and sees things that she can't which makes absolutely no sense. He's like some cringey hero vision with bad de-aging CGI.
Another example is one of the killers being a female at 5ft 3, standing and over powering Dewey, being shot multiple times but showing no sign of this in the next scenes which you would even with body armour and being in 2 places at once. No idea how you mess up this bad.
Everyone in this movie seems supernaturally immortal for some reason.. Apparently being shot and stabbed in fatal areas multiple times still allows you to overpower a killer and beat the crap out of them.. One dude gets his femoral artery severed and stabbed in other places yet somehow survived laying outside for 20+ minutes without bleeding to death and medical assistance which is impossible.
The 'struggle' sequences in this movie all the way through are so wooden it's like watching a really obviously staged wrestling fight, they're so poorly orchestrated. To explain it's like ''Oh no I was pushed a little, better over exaggerate and fly across the room.'' Then there's people being knocked out by just.. falling down and conveniently waking up when someone else's fight is over. Even small things that don't really matter much, like one girl gets brutally smacked in the mouth with a metal crutch and has no sign of blood or injury and there's a hilariously over the top sound effect for biting someone's arm.
There's one scene where there's 2 fights happening at once and 1 fight ends then we go to the other fight literally in the next room which goes on for a while yet the people from the other fight just seem to apparently be doing nothing the whole time while knowing the other killer is attacking them. They were literally in the next room so what were they doing the whole time? Smoking? Checking out the gun they could be using to help the girl fighting for her life just meters from them in the next room?
Apparently in this movie people can see through closed elevator doors and know exactly when and where the killer is after stalling Ghostface and for some reason hallucinations can show you where weapons are that you haven't even seen yet, giving you an extra pair of eyes because apparently hallucinations give you 2 more eyeballs now.
Sidney is for some reason a complete idiot now who goes around shooting doors knowing damn well there could be an innocent teen on the other side, so she could potentially be doing the killer's job for them, even though she's married to a detective so she should know better.
Dewey is now an alcoholic living in a trailer all of a sudden just cos the film-makers felt like destroying Wes's legacy character before they killed him off like a piece of trash. So both Dewey and Sidney don't seem like their character that's been built for over 20+ years which is ironic considering these film-makers mock fans while seeming to understand hardly anything about Scream and the characters.
The last thing is their motive completely shockingly bad and lazy. From watching the trailers you're meant to think that the killers have some deep and clever motive relating to the past but all it is, is literally ''We wanted it so Stab movies would get better.'' - I thought they were joking and another motive was gonna come out but it never did and we just sat looking at each other in disbelief like ''Seriously?''
It's a real shame because the female killer is an outstanding actress and the only good thing about the movie. In fact she's one of the sickest and scariest Ghostface killers when out of the costume but she's been given a motive that a toddler could have come up with. Oh and also for some reason six people out of the group survive so don't expect many kills, they're not very memorable kills either apart from one and don't expect many chase scenes like the old ones that were awesome because in this one there's not a single chase scene. Yup, that's right, one of the main aspects that makes this franchise so intense and thrilling is completely missing from this movie and they have the audacity to complain about og fans when they can't even add something as simple as a couple of chase scenes..
Constantly saying you're ''Honouring Wes'' for brownie points and actually honouring Wes are 2 completely different things. Getting your hands on Wes's franchise and the first thing you do is insult the fans that grew up with it while making a terrible follow up with some of the worst retcons ever seen movie history doesn't seem (though we'll never know for sure) like paying respects to Wes at all and makes me wish we could have seen Wes's Scream 5 even more.
I think it's also disrespectful to claim what a deceased person would have wanted because we don't know if Wes would have liked or disliked Scream 2022. For all we know he could have hated it, so I think it's pretty disrespectful when people say ''Wes would be proud.'' - we don't know this and never will, so don't claim that you do. I honestly thought Scream 2022 was going to be good from the trailer, then I watched it and thought... Wtf have they done!?
I'm so tired of bad film-makers making an old movie with an already massive fan base for a new generation that don't even care for the originals and turn it into something it's not. This franchise died at 4 for me unless six can save it, which I highly doubt. Their greed is so laughably evident by them not even paying Neve the amount she rightfully deserves to come back for 6. Like yeah, it must be us fans that are killing the franchise, not the title snatching money makers that won't even pay their legacy cast their full amount and continuing without them. Stop making the same trashy unoriginal reboot, do better and stop spitting on og fans when you can't even come up with a decent plot that makes sense. 1/10.
Halloween Kills (2021)
This movie was so unbelievably bad..
I had very low expectations after the 2018 garbage movie but some how this one still managed to be even worse than I thought it would be.
The movie itself is so incredibly pointless, poor writing, unbelievably cliché, fails to not make the same mistakes the bad Halloweens have made in the past and EVERY single character in this movie is an actual idiot and I mean even worse than you have seen in any other movie.
First there's a flashback of the original events from the first movie where Myers has a cop strangled in his hands standing behind him is a hostage shield position as the other cop comes in like an idiot and shoots the cop by accident in the neck and lets Myers get away.. Then there's a group of about 15 firefighters with axes and a cement saw in front of Michael and what do they do? Stand there with a fire truck hose spraying him with water until he slowly walks up to them and kills the one spraying him and he just stands there and lets him, another few effortlessly attack him while he kills them at the same time then the guy with the cement saw just lets him push it back on himself and the rest apparently got massacred too when it shows their bodies later on.
Next we have Myers go into an older couple's home, he kills the husband then the wife (who happens to have a kitchen knife by the way) can't unlock the door and instead of going to the left or right door way, she just stands there crying and lets him walk up to her and stab her in the neck without even using the knife at all in her hand.
After that we have a car of 4 people, a male and female couple, Marion from (Halloween 1, 2 and H20) and Lyndsey from (Halloween 1) Lyndsey gets out to tell some kids on a kid's park to go home while Myers is on the car grabbing the 2 women in the car each side by their hair while Marion shoots about 5 times at nothing wasting bullets then when she actually has a shot, surprise surprise the gun clicks and he kills her and the dude then the female of the couple comes back shooting at the car recklessly completely missing every shot like a blind person with a gun and goes up to the car like an idiot again and Myers opens the door on her hand so she accidentally shoots herself. Then he goes after Lyndsey who could literally just keep running and he'd never catch up with her but decides to randomly stop and hide in some grass..
Then everyone in the hospital turns into a riot mob to kill Myers and they go after one of the escaped patients from the previous film thinking he is Myers even though Myers face was plastered on the news so this makes no sense. He then kills himself.
Finally the stupid mob goes to hunt Myers and they actually manage to lead him to a trap where Karen takes his mask and lures him to a road where they all get out their cars and trucks, I'd say around 20+ people surround him with guns, bats, knives ect. So yeah this is where he definitely dies right? Nope. They beat him up a bit, shoot his torso a few times, Karen stabs him in the back of the shoulder then walks off then wow look at that he gets up and I'm not joking, he kills every single one of them.... Yep. He kills 20+ people with bats, guns and knives that's how dumb this movie is....
How do you have 10 Halloween movies previous and still make the worst god damn characters, clichés, writing and logic in all the movies combined? Like how? What are they smoking when making these dumb scenes? Oh and the legendary character Laurie Strode is just sat in a hospital bed the whole movie like some side character.
I used to think Jamie Lee Curtis had the greatest ideas for Halloween after she came up with the great and satisfying end to the original franchise, Halloween H20 which obviously was ruined by Resurrection and even she herself was annoyed at and understandably wanted to be done with Halloween and move on. However, then she agrees to this mess of a reboot and thinks it's a good idea. Like what? How do you go from one extreme to the next..
All I can think when watching 2018 and this one is, are the people involved in this movie high or something when making it? Is so awful and it couldn't be any further from a 'Halloween' movie if it tried. This is not the Halloween I grew up with and came to love, it's a garbage failure of a reboot attempt made for clueless young people today to snag in some profit. Halloween is not some massive body count gore feast either like this trash.
I love how they say they wanted Myers to be less supernatural yet still he's still getting back up fit and fine after being pitch forked though his entire back and shot about 7 times.. Yeah what happened to that? They don't even know what they're doing with this franchise it's like they're making it up as they go along.
If I had to rate it I'd give it 2/10 the same as the 2018 movie. Nothing memorable, plot holes throughout, messy pointless plot, awful characters, bottom of the barrel writing and would put it as low as Resurrection and 2018.
V/H/S/94 (2021)
Had fun watching this & hope to see a V/H/S 5 in the future!
I enjoyed most segments especially the first 3 and there were a few moments I was actually creeped out like feeling dread and it still holds the spirit of what I love from this franchise.
The only things I'd say I didn't like was the ending which was the segment where the swat team actually look at the V/H/S tapes. It fell really flat for me like really just a typical cliché and dumb reveal and thought they could have done much better with it. I was expecting something quite scary like it built up through out the movie but it doesn't matter cos they're all different stories and also there's a lot of cult segments now and it feels a bit overdone.
This sequel has one of the most disturbing segments so far too like nightmare fuel. I think I liked the 2nd segment best at the funeral it was really neat!
Overall I had fun watching it and would give it around a 7/10 and I really hope they make a V/H/S 5 they're so entertaining.